(Untitled)

[fuijio]

Title:Untitled
Disclaimer:I wish they belong to me unfortunately they don't *sigh* Yamane-sensei own just having fun with them
Author:Fuijio
Pairing/If any:Suoh,Kirishima (and me lol)
Warning:this stuff might cause a heartattack(Just kidding >_<,I want you guys to read and enjoy not kill y'all),laughing fit (which might be good ,I think lol)no beta

Ah,

Comments

[tsukimori_yuki]

Congrats on our first fic :D

I must say that your style of writing is different. Instead of reading a story, I would say that it was more closely of reading a script of a play between the script writer (you) and the actors (Kei and Suoh).

Maybe it's just me, but at first I couldn't grip the environment that you've set in here. It was like a piece of scene with the detail conversation from a big play and makes me feel like hanging/floating inside because I just couldn't figure out the exact position of the characters, or did you do it on purpose? XDDDD so, I think it would be better to write some introduction at the beginning or add some explanation of the situation to give a better understanding of the story :D

Again maybe it's just me, the comedy that you've inserted here and there failed to fish my laughter much, maybe because it was too contained. I mean it was like hearing someone talking to himself. I found the action was funnier than the content of the conversation <= Is this make sense

[fuijio]

Lol, actually I wrote this when I read Randrews25 fic to Yukimaru and this idea came to mind ,she check it, but I didnt make correction yet ^_^ (Gomen, for letting you read such a thing) I just have to do the correction she gave me.Yeah I guess you could say it was like a script I was actually trying to do a crack off of Randrews25 but I guess I fail some what,but you would have to read her story to understand my "somewhat" story,again Gomen .....I will try better next time ,thanks for reading ^_^

[tsukimori_yuki]

no worries now worries LOL XDDDDD
Will sure to read again after you corrected it...so looking forward ~_^ *hugs*

[fuijio]

^_^ 'kay *hugs*