[oneshot] Canvas. (part 2)
If one were to analyze what happened afterwards, they could probably say that the beginning of the end took place when Sehun and Jongin first met. For Sehun, however, meeting and dating Jongin had merely been a prelude to what happened afterwards. The true beginning of the end, according to her, would’ve taken place on that Thursday, when Jongin took her to the recording studio for the very first time.
It’s quite chilly on Thursday. Sehun knows better than to overdress, though, and goes for a simple coordination, discreet, but enough to keep her warm. The coat she wears is quite expensive - a present from the management for her seventeenth birthday - but it’s simple, so she goes for it. It fits her figure perfectly. Sehun sees, in the big mirror, how elegant she looks. How effortlessly chic her outfit looks on her. It’s all math: combine this article with that article, this color with that texture, throw in an expensive item, and voilà. There it is; a national idol.
Jongin’s manager, Joonmyun, picks her up at two in the afternoon. She’s surprised to find that Jongin rides in the passenger seat; Sehun has always instructed to ride in the backseat. Perhaps because she’s a woman… regardless, the ride is quite enjoyable. Joonmyun doesn’t babble continuously like Lu Han; instead, he knows how to conduct a pleasant, impersonal conversation. Sehun, who has been educated in the same art, follows his lead easily. Jongin barely says anything; Sehun suspects he might be napping.
They arrive at the studio at half past two; it’s the same size as a house, no more than two floors, tinted windows. Somehow, it’s bigger than Sehun expected, and it has a completely different aura too. Sehun, in her expensive coat, couture boots and Prada sunglasses, feels rather intimidated by the place.
“Nervous?” Joonmyun asks Jongin, patting him on the shoulder. Jongin shoots him a rather somber look. “There’s no need to. You’ll do great.”
“Joonmyun sshi is right,” Sehun, reaches for Jongin’s hands, and laces their fingers together. Jongin looks up to meet her glance, and she offers him a reassuring smile. “You’ll do okay. As long as you give your best, it’s fine.”
The words themselves are a bit generic, but the initiative Sehun took seems to cheer Jongin up. With a shy smile, he quickly leans towards Sehun and places a kiss on her cheek. Sehun squeals in surprise.
“Jongin!” She exclaims, and Jongin starts cackling a bit devilishly. She’s quite sure she’s turning redder by the second, but that’s definitely not her fault. “We’re in public, for God’s sake!”
“You looked cute, trying to act all mature,” he retorts, shrugging in nonchalance. Sehun scoffs at him, and he grins. “Wow, you’re really red. Did you not put on make-up today?”
“Of course I did! Ugh,” Sehun lets go of his hand in order to cover her cheeks with both hands. “I regret being nice to you. Can I go home? I want to sleep.”
“Children,” Joonmyun calls out playfully, smiling at them as he leads them through the entrance gate. “Behave. Jongin, stop being mean to Sehun sshi.” Jongin rolls his eyes. Joonmyun fails to see it, though, and rings the doorbell.
It’s not long before a metallic voice emerges from the intercom. “Yes?”
“Kim Joonmyun from Delight. I’m with Kai,” and it’s then when Sehun realizes how more experienced Joonmyun is than Lu Han. There’s not a hint of hesitation in his voice. “We brought one guest with us. May we come in?”
Brief moment of noise coming from the intercom. A pause. “Come in,” the voice commands, and the door opens with a clang.
In the inside, the studio is even more intimidating. It has no windows, so it’s dark and all the lamps are on, which gives Sehun the feeling that she has just leapt through time. Also - perhaps because of the soundproofing, Sehun realizes - the place has a very still, unnatural atmosphere. Almost unconsciously, Sehun leans closer to Jongin as they follow Junmyeon into the house, down a narrow, but thankfully short, corridor.
The corridor ends in a door. Once they go through it, Sehun finds herself in a much wider, much better illuminated room. Much noisier, too.
“Okay, stop playing, stop,” The person at the sound table shouts into the microphone, and whoever was inside of the actual studio immediately ceased producing noise. It’s too much for Sehun to process at once, but, once her eyes get used to the ambient, she finally understands that the noise was actually someone playing the guitar.
First, Sehun notices the one at the sound table. It’s a man, dark-haired, dark-skinned, dark-eyed and strictly dark-dressed, with sever silver piercings glistening in his ears and nose. His clothes are all black and skin-tight. He looks like a hired assassin.
“Greetings from space!” The other person shouts while exiting the recording area, attracting all the eyes in the room. “Sorry for this just now. I was getting things geared up.”
The contrast with the man at the sound table is rather violent. This second person is a woman - a very tall one, taller than Sehun, who’s quite tall herself - with very large eyes and a very large smile. Everything about her appearance spells out “manic”: from her short hair tied in pigtails to the yellow basketball top she wears, from her purple-framed glasses to the way she sways back and forth on her feet, unable to stay still.
“Hello, Chanyeol,” Joonmyun greets her cordially, unfazed by the invisible electricity she emanates. “So? Is everything ready for our star?”
“Affirmative!” Chanyeol - quite a weird name for a woman, Sehun must say - replies in a loud voice, raising a fist in the air. “Wassup, Kai sshi! Today is the big day! Are you nervous?”
“Uh…” Jongin seems to be in physical pain, face stif. “A little…”
“As expected. Studios are scary,” is what Chanyeol says before turning on the heels of her sneakers to face Sehun. “Oh!” She exclaims, face going blank for a second as she adjusts her glasses. Sehun can practically see her aura shift from excited to curious, and she’s the least sensitive person she knows. “Oh! Oh my God! Oh Sehun? The Oh Sehun?!”
“The Oh Sehun,” it’s Joonmyun who replies. It feels a bit like he’s running to Sehun’s rescue. “She’s a personal friend of Kai’s. We decided to bring her along.”
“I see! So Kai sshi won’t be too nervous, huh,” her already big eyes are even wider now, and she admires Sehun as if she was the strangest, most fascinating thing she has ever seen. Soon enough, she practically assaults Sehun, pulling her hand and shaking it with both her hands. “Nice to meet you, Oh Sehun sshi! I’m Park Chanyeol! I’m going to be the one in charge of today’s recording.”
“Chanyeol is the owner of this studio,” Joonmyun explains briefly, not moving from where he’s standing, as if not daring to come too close to them. “She’s also a musical producer and underground idol on the rise.”
Chanyeol snorts obnoxiously. “Underground idol. You’re really something.” Then, she beams at Sehun, still not letting go of her hand. “I have a funny story to tell you! You know, I always remembered this when I saw you on TV and all, and I was like oh, when I meet her, I’ll definitely tell her this, but I never really thought I’d meet ya’, you know? But since I did I’m gonna tell. You grew up in Seongdong, didn’t you?”
“I… yes,” Sehun answers hesitantly, a bit disarmed by the question. She tries to remember if it’s that what is written in her official profile.
“So did I! Kinda. I lived there for a while when I was small. Anyway, when we were small, like seven years old or something, there was a music fair near the river. You know? That guy that played the banjo with his teeth was there. Do you remember?” She pauses for the slightest second, waiting for confirmation from Sehun, but Sehun is too stunned by the speed at what words come out from her mouth to properly respond. “Well, I guess not, you were really young. But like, I lived some streets nearer the river, so your mother asked me to take care of you during the fair. So I did! You were already really pretty then. If I knew you would make this big, I’d have asked for an autograph then! Hahahaha,” Chanyeol finally finishes her story, scratching her nape somewhat nervously. “Well, that doesn’t matter. Ah, by the way,” she turns around to point at the hired assassin. “This is Huang Zitao. Call him Tao. Actually, don’t talk to him, he’s not friendly. Also, he’s my sound technician. Tao, say hi.”
“Wassup,” Tao greets in English, barely raising his eyes from the panel he’s working on.
“So, Kai sshi,” Sehun almost sighs in relief when Chanyeol directs her attention to Kai, turning around so fast that her short pigtails bob around her head. “We should start with the rehearsals, shouldn’t we? The faster we do this, the faster it’s done. Tao, get him started, will you?”
“Roger,” Tao replies somewhat sarcastically, getting up from his seat and walking over to where Jongin is standing. He exchanges some words with Jongin and Joonmyun, and Sehun fears for the integrity of her boyfriend a little. However, nothing happens; the only thing that happens is that Tao takes Jongin to the recording room and closes the door.
Joonmyun glances at his wristwatch. “Well, I should get going,” he comments with a perfectly neutral smile. “Take care of Kai, will you, Chanyeol?”
“Of course! Leave it to me,” Chanyeol assures energetically, pointing at herself with her thumb. “See ya’ next time. Take me to get some Italian, will you?”
“Sure.” Sehun is pretty sure Joonmyun does mean it. “Till next time.”
And Sehun is left alone with Chanyeol in the studio.
For a moment, none of them moves. The air feels remarkably heavy around Sehun, and she bites her lip. Eventually, she decides that she isn’t supposed to remain standing for the rest of the day, so she takes a seat at the small couch near the door, which is so soft that it almost swallows her whole.
Meanwhile, Chanyeol seems like she doesn’t quite know what to do. She unclips her pushed back bangs, runs her fingers through them a couple of times, then clip them back into place. Next thing, she swings around on the balls of her feet to take a peek at how Tao and Jongin are doing inside of the recording room. Tao is showing Jongin a sheet of paper, and they’re sharing earbuds. Figuring that they’re doing fine, she looks away, staring at the ceiling instead. Sehun watches everything, every single movement, in silence.
Finally, Chanyeol risks a glance at Sehun, and their eyes meet. She seems quite taken aback. “Oh! Sorry,” is her apology as she makes a face between a smile and a grimace. “I’m a very fidgety person. I’m sorry, that must be super annoying.”
“I don’t mind,” Sehun answers with a polite smile. She crosses her legs, seeking for some comfort in the excessive softness of the cushions under her, and watches Chanyeol take distracted, too-wide steps towards the other end of the couch.
Silence.
A rather long moment of it.
“So,” Chanyeol speaks up suddenly, startling Sehun a bit. “Sehun sshi… have you ever thought of debuting as a singer?”
Sehun blinks. “Seems like my company has no plans for it so far,” she answer safely. Chanyeol nods.
“But how about you?” Instead of sitting on the couch like everyone else, Chanyeol sits on the armrest, legs crossed, on a very fragile balance axis. It makes Sehun want to walk towards her and tip her over. “Do you think you’ll debut as a singer some day? It’d be interesting, wouldn’t it?”
Sehun distractedly toys with the hem of her cardigan. “I’m not very good at singing…” she offers somewhat weakly.
“Ah, but nowadays this doesn’t matter! There’s a lot of genres you can try without going for a traditional singing style. Like rap!” Chanyeol’s smile when she says ‘rap’ is extremely toothy and brilliant. In no more than three seconds, however, it melts away. “Ah, but rap doesn’t suit your image that much. Hm, well, sure you could try it! But, for you as you are right now, electronic music feels right. Or maybe low-key ballads. Sounds nice! Your voice is quite husky, I bet it’d sound good. Another idea-”
“Chanyeol,” the door to the recording room is suddenly opened, and Tao and Jongin come out. “We’re done. Start in ten. Also, stop bothering her.”
“I’m not-I’m just talking to her, for God’s sake!” Chanyeol whines, contorting her face in a pout that is strong enough to crook her glasses. In response, Tao silently walks over to where she’s sitting and, with one finger, tips her over. She falls to the floor with an ear-piercing scream and a string of profanities, none of them very lady-like.
“Was she bothering you?” Jongin whispers the question to Sehun as Chanyeol and Tao exchange insults. Sehun shakes her head. “Hm. If you do feel bothered, you can leave, okay? I’m fine now. I feel like I can do it.”
“I’m already here,” Sehun replies, shrugging. “It won’t hurt me to stay till the night. Do you feel more nervous when I’m watching?”
“I don’t know,” Jongin sighs. “But I guess I want you to stay. They’re scary.”
The chuckle Sehun lets out is far louder than she had intended it to be. The two producers put their argument on hold to pay attention to her, full of curiosity. Sehun flushes bright scarlet. “Sorry,” she mutters, and Jongin laughs heartily at her, which earns him a kick on his shin. Laughter immediately morphs into a cry of pain.
“Don’t injure the artist!” Jongin complains. Sehun merely rolls her eyes.
Despite all the mishaps, the recording session eventually takes off rather smoothly. Jongin is not as bad as Sehun thought he’d be; he’s the kind of singer that would impress others in karaoke. Not genius, but definitely not bad either.
“Wow, that line sounded great,” Chanyeol mutters to Tao from times to times, receiving next to none attention from the sound technician, who types furiously onto a netbook. “He’s good. Doesn’t he sound good? I bet sexy ballads suit him.”
“We should go for safe pop with him,” Tao retorts, and Chanyeol snorts.
“’Safe pop’ my ass. Listen to him. He looks perfect for some sexy stuff, and rough dance pop.” A reflexive pause. “Damn, I have the perfect song for him. Let’s push this one for promotional single and make him do some house for the actual single.”
“For God’s sake, noona,” Tao whines somewhat childishly. “Don’t do this to me. I thought you had okayed the tracklist already!”
“Yeah, but Tao! Listen to him!” Sehun decides to listen too. “He’s perfect for it!”
“Look-let’s stick to the plan this time,” Tao pleads. “If it sells well, they’ll ask us to produce him again, and then you do your dance stuff. Okay?”
Chanyeol huffs, but concedes. She turns around, catching Sehun’s stare - she hadn’t even noticed she had been staring - and makes a face of distaste. Sehun can’t help but chuckle.
Thorough the recording, the dynamic between them stays the same. Jongin gives his best at singing the song they assigned him, a mid-tempo ballad comparing the end of a relationship to a withering flower; Chanyeol compliments his singing, his voice, the aura he gives off (whatever that mus mean) and insist they try to assign him riskier genres; and Tao tries to keep a hold around the situation, hands quick to type and regulate functions in the sound table. Sehun simply watches it all in silence, only reacting when Chanyeol turns to talk to her, asking her opinions in matters she doesn’t understand at all, making faces at whatever Tao says, or just smiling at her, as if trying to reassure her that things were going well.
Eventually, Sehun’s cellphone buzzes with a warning that Lu Han is heading to the studio. It doesn’t seem to her that she has been there for the whole afternoon, but she has, and now she has to leave for her drama shooting. It’s a bit regretful, the thinks as she fishes her sunglasses from her purse, but work is work. She waits till the current round of recording is over to get on her feet, trying to silently catch Jongin’s attention to tell him she has to go, and ends up catching Chanyeol’s attention instead.
“Um,” Sehun mutters as Chanyeol faces her with large, curious eyes. “I have to go now. Schedule.”
“Oh!” Chanyeol nods, lips forming a perfectly round shape. Tao turns to look at them questioningly. “Hold it, Tao, she’s gonna say bye-bye to Kai sshi.”
With that, Chanyeol springs up, going to the recording’s room’s door and opening it unceremoniously. Jongin seems scared of what she might have to say. “Sehun sshi is about to leave,” she communicates. Blinking, Jongin puts the lyrics sheet on the wooden canvas, and exits the recording room. Chanyeol bounces back to the sound panel, lowering her voice to whisper something to Tao, and Jongin accompanies Sehun to the studio’s door.
“Thank you for coming today,” he tells her, voice slightly hoarse. With her heels and without his shoe lifts, Sehun stands at a good three centimeters taller than him. “I’d have gone crazy if I were alone with those two.”
“Will you be okay from now on?” Sehun chuckles quietly, stealing a glance at Chanyeol and Tao. They’re heatedly discussing something in whispers, occasionally whacking each other’s arms quite violently.
“I think I will,” Jongin shrugs, grinning at the scene. Then, he turns to face Sehun. “Good luck with filming today.”
“Thank you.” She smirks. “Today’s scene is really tense-”
“I don’t wanna hear it!” Jongin objects, stomping, and Sehun laughs. He pouts, clearly fuming, but still leans forward to give
her a kiss on the cheek. “Call me later. And don’t give me spoilers. I’m serious.”
“Okay.” She’s aware that the producers saw the kiss. “Do your best here.”
And she leaves.
In the car, she’s even more distracted than usually. Lu Han complains about it several times.
“Why won’t you listen to me?” He asks rather sulkily. “What happened today? Was it that interesting at the recording studio?”
The beginning of the end.
“Mm,” Sehun hums affirmatively, following the outside scenery with her eyes. Distant, dark, blurry. “A bit.”
On Saturday, barely one hour after Sehun falls asleep, her phone rings, startling her into wakefulness.
She has just come home from filming; her hair is still stiff with mousse, her lashes still sticky with waterproof mascara, her clothes wrinkled between her body and her couch. Groaning, she sits up clumsily, turning her purse upside down and fishing her phone from among the other commodities. It’s from Lu Han.
“What is it,” she croaks as she picks up, not quite rude but not soft and nice either.
“Heard you got Friday’d.”
Sehun frowns. “Huh?”
“Yeah man, Mr. President is going mad right here. The PR team is all happy-go-lucky though. They’re all kind of fighting. I don’t really know what to do, so I figured out I should at least call you. You’re alright?”
“Did you have a bad dream?” Sehun is faintly worried about the sanity of her manager. Also, her head hurts a little. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Could you try to tell me? I was sleeping.”
“Oh,” Lu Han seems to finally remember Sehun spent the night working. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Sehunnie. I forgot. Okay, so, sit down, I’m going to tell you.”
Sehun, who’s already sitting down, urges him to go on.
Apparently (is how Lu Han puts it, but it’s far more than just apparent), a paparazzo caught Jongin and Sehun on camera. There aren’t many pictures - Jongin and Sehun didn’t exactly stroll together in the streets, not even during nighttime, so the most they had was a blurry, distant picture of them together at a restaurant - but they’re enough to start something. The pictures, along with a draft of a possible article to be published, were sent to the company inside of an envelope that morning, the remitter being a well-known tabloid which, thankfully, had good relations with the current CEO. They were pressuring for a decision from the management - veto it? Allow it? What’s the compensation? Because, after all, if it isn’t money tabloids are after, what is it?
When Lu Han finishes telling the story, he asks Sehun what she thinks about it. To her, the question is far more complicated than it seems. Is she supposed to think anything about it?
“Tell the president I’m sorry for being careless,” is what she answers, voice neutral, expression neutral. Heart neutral. “And that I’m sorry for not telling him about my relationship with Jongin in person.”
“Roger. Will pass that forward,” Lu Han reassures her. “For now, get some rest. You have today off, but Joonmyun told me Jongin wanted to take you to the studio today again. Well, I’m not sure if it’ll go through, but Mr. President okayed it. Also, drama director called and said filming is postponed till next week, and CeCi wants you in five days at all costs.” He makes a brief pause. “That means you’ll have a nice break for the rest of the week. Sounds pretty great, huh? Even though next week will be really busy.”
“Thank you, Lu Han,” she says before he can start reciting her schedule for the next month. “You protected me a lot today. As a manager, you’re the best I could have.”
That’s probably not true. Sehun is a top star; she could get someone more experienced, less effusive, less talkative when with her and less cripplingly shy when with others, instead of having to deal with Lu Han’s fumbling ways. Someone like Joonmyun. And yet, she sort of likes Lu Han’s excess of flaws. He creates a nice balance with Sehun’s excessively quiet, spotless, completely blank self.
She can practically hear his proud grin. “You’re welcome! You know there’s no one else I’d rather work to. Get some rest, eat lots of fruits, have a nice bubble bath and do one of those long skin treatments you always do when you’re on a break. The green tea one, you know?” Sehun hums in agreement. “Okay, I have to hang up now. Don’t go out on your own!”
“Yes, daddy. Good luck,” she retorts jokingly before hanging up herself.
And it’s strange, how silent and empty the apartment sounds after she hangs up.
How silent and empty it feels to be left with herself.
It’s not long before she’s back on her phone, texting Jongin. Take me to the studio today.
This time, instead of being answered by the intercom, Chanyeol herself answers the door when they ring the doorbell.
“Oppa!” She shouts enthusiastically when she sees Joonmyun. “When are you gonna treat me dinner?”
“Hello, Chanyeol,” Joonmyun smiles at her. “You seem to be energetic as always.”
“Tao and I cranked out some sweet tunes yesterday night. We’re thinking of performing it at the live house next week,” she tells them while letting them in. They cross the corridor with Chanyeol in the lead, bouncing and turning around to talk about it. “The bassline is sick, for real. You have to hear it. When our CD comes out, I’ll give you guys copies. I want to make it into a single, but Tao-Tao, they’re here!”
Tao is lying on the couch at the sound room, playing with his phone, dressed in black leather pants and a quite vandalized black t-shirt. Again, great contrast between that and Chanyeol’s cherry red basketball top and baggy jeans… “Good afternoon,” Tao greets, sitting up straight. “Ah, Sehun sshi, it’s nice to meet you again.”
“Hello,” Sehun greets him with a smile, trying not to step back in fear.
“Then, I’ll be off. Sorry for not being able to hang out with you again,” Joonmyun lets the slightest hint of tiredness in his voice, and Sehun realizes that he must be having it just as hard as Lu Han. She wonders if Jongin’s management will let him off as easily as hers let her.
“Bye-bye!” Chanyeol bids him goodbye energetically, and waits till he’s out the door to sigh. “He’s never gonna treat me to dinner, is he.”
Jongin laughs quite loudly at that. Sehun, too, can’t help but chuckle, and Tao grins. “I don’t think so,” Jongin says.
“Bummers. He’s the only rich guy I know. I just want to eat fancy food…” Chanyeol pouts sadly and rather dramatically. “Sehun sshi, is your manager rich?”
“A little bit,” she confesses. “But he’s also a huge loser.”
“I don’t mind! I’m a huge loser too. I mean, do you know anyone who’s a bigger loser than me? I don’t think so!” Chanyeol goes on effusively, hands everywhere, stacking notebooks, putting chairs back into place, installing microphones, turning the sound table on. “Hey, Kai sshi, wanna run some tests? It’s gonna be fun. Do you play the guitar?”
“… not really?” Jongin offers hesitantly. “And, um, just Kai is fine. I’m your junior in the industry after all…”
“Huh?” Chanyeol frowns, putting her hands on her hips. Today, her hair isn’t styled, but her bangs are tied up like a little coconut tree, and it bobs to the sides when she moves. “Me? A senior to you? Please! Compared to you, I have a long way to go. But sure, just Kai then!” She finishes with a brilliant smile, and pats Jongin on the back so violently that Jongin lurches forward. “Let’s run those tests to blow off some steam shall we? Tao, get in position.”
“Roger.” Chanyeol is already pushing Jongin into the studio, telling him what they’re about to do, but talking too fast and using too many technical terms for it to be intelligible instructions. Soon enough, they enter the recording room, leaving Sehun all alone with Tao.
Sehun doesn’t feel very comfortable with it.
Chanyeol’s endless chatter can still be heard through the speakers. Sehun sees them clearly from where she’s standing; Chanyeol has one arm around Jongin’s shoulders, balancing a guitar in her free hand. Whatever she’s talking about, it’s certainly amusing, because Jongin is smiling when he nods, and he lets out a laugh at a certain point. For some reason… for a reason Sehun is not familiar with, watching that scene makes Sehun feel oddly left out.
“Sehun sshi.” Sehun jumps when she hears a voice call her name. It’s Tao, who seemed to have been watching her for a while already. Sehun shivers. “You don’t need to worry about them.”
“… huh?” Sehun questions faintly, blinking in confusion. “Worry…?”
“About, you know,” Tao signalizes Chanyeol and Jongin with a subtle head movement. In the recording room, Chanyeol is helping Jongin to put the guitar on. “Noona is inoffensive. And she can’t compete against you, she’s lame.”
It takes Sehun a lot of frowning and furious thinking for her to understand. “Oh!” she exclaims as enlightenment hits her. Tao looks slightly sheepish, which makes him look considerably less like a dangerous person. “Oh, you mean-oh.”
“I supposed you two were dating,” he mutters a bit shyly. “Sorry if I read it wrong.”
“No, you’re right,” Sehun offers him a small smile. “But it’s okay. I’m not worried.”
“Yeah. You shouldn’t be,” Tao nods, turning around to watch Chanyeol teach Jongin what to do for the test. “She’s useless around men. She can’t even convince Joonmyun hyung to go out with her.”
Sehun snickers at the memory of Chanyeol pleading Joonmyun to treat her. Joonmyun’s resolve is a truly impressive thing.
“Okay, we’re all set!” Chanyeol announces, opening the recording room door with a bang. “Kai yah, remember to do as told! Also, do your best to bust the speakers.” Doing a thumbs-up to Jongin, she closes the door and rushes to Tao’s side. “Okay, turn the mic on.”
“Calm down,” Tao sighs, getting the sound system ready.
“I’m calm,” Chanyeol shrugs, leaning back on her chair and crossing her legs. The top she’s wearing is sleeveless, and it falls so loose on her that her bra shows in the side cuts, stripes of royal blue against the relatively pale skin. “When are you gonna die your hair again? You look boring with dark hair.”
“And you look ridiculous with hair this short,” Tao retorts spitefully.
“I’m waiting for it to grow!” She objects in outrage.
“We’re ready to go. Kai sshi, can you hear me?” Tao completely ignores her in favor of speaking to Jongin through the microphone. At that, Jongin makes a thumbs up. “Try it raw at first. You can start playing.”
As the tests start, Chanyeol turns away from Tao, pouting slightly, and moves to the couch. Once again, she ignores the actual cushions in order to sit cross-legged on the armrest. Sehun, who’s standing right beside her, has to struggle against the temptation of tipping her over by “accident”.
“Do you think I look ridiculous with short hair?” She asks Sehun, looking up to her with big, pleading eyes. The resemblance Chanyeol bears to an excitable, slightly cheeky puppy is uncanny.
“I think it looks fine,” Sehun answers, fighting against a new temptation - the temptation to reach for Chanyeol’s little coconut tree-shaped bangs and pull it all so slightly. “But maybe longer will look better.”
Chanyeol grimaces. “It’s the ears, isn’t it?” She touches one of her particularly large ears in a self-conscious manner. “I used to have super long hair. It gets a bit wavy when I let it grow, it’s not really pretty but at least it hides my ears.”
“Hm.” Sehun tries to picture Chanyeol with long hair, waves of dark brown that’d bounce around her face and shoulder at every moment. “Yeah, longer would definitely look better.”
Chanyeol lets out a fake wail, and Tao tells her to shut up. In response, she stirs her tongue at him, then puts to herself. “Ah, I wish I was as pretty as you, Sehun sshi. And had your hair. Ah!” she shouts, and Tao sighs miserably, telling to Jongin to go on regardless of what Chanyeol was doing. “I forgot to get your autograph last time! I should go get a notepad. Is it okay? Ah, but your photobook will be out soon, right?” Oh, the photobook. With the drama going on, Sehun almost forgot about it. Speaking of which, she doesn’t know when the release day is… “I should buy that first, and then ask you to sign it. I’ll do that! Is it okay? Would you-”
An explosion of sound startles Chanyeol and Sehun out of their conversation, and Chanyeol actually screams. Inside of the recording room, Jongin is laughing his ass off, guitar in hands. Tao is laughing quite profusely too, almost falling off his chair when Chanyeol shoots him a dirty look. Sehun ends up laughing too, mostly because Chanyeol’s face looks hilarious stuck between laughing and exploding in rage.
“The tests are over!” She announces in a hysterical voice, and the other three just laugh even harder. “Tao, get everything ready. I’m gonna get that guitar off him before he kills someone.”
This time, since she has the day off, she stays till the end. She underestimates how long a recording session can become, though, and ends up falling asleep on the couch. Sometimes, the sound of the song Jongin is recording - a song about spending a whole year alone and learning to enjoy your own company - enters Sehun’s dreams, as do Chanyeol’s and Tao’s faces, and Sehun sleeps surprisingly well.
She dreams about having to run away to a distant country, taking a chest with her, because Lu Han had morphed into a giant octopus monster and wanted to use the chest’s contents to destroy humanity. She arrives there via flying boat, and discovers that the country’s floor is made of jelly, so she has no choice but to float horizontally above the ground and glide in the air to go to places. Chanyeol shows up to help her escape when hitmen start chasing her, and her hair is very, very long there, floating in random directions as if she were underwater. Tao only appears in the background, and doesn’t do much.
Eventually, Sehun is stirred awake by a warm, soft touch to her hair. She’s only very vaguely of it at first, and enjoys the fingers caressing her scalp tenderly, but the concreteness of the touch leads the dream to dissolve, so there’s no choice for Sehun to wake up. And she does.
When she opens her eyes, she’s shocked to find Chanyeol there, hovering over her, expression unreadable.
“Sorry for waking you up,” she mutters apologetically, voice incredibly low. Sehun blinks, trying to clear the drowsiness off her mind. The fingers - Chanyeol’s fingers - let go of Sehun’s hair. “I hope I didn’t scare you. And I’m sorry for touching your hair. My mother always tells me to wake up people carefully.”
“Did I sleep for too long?” Sehun asks, not yet getting up. She probably should, though. She notices that Chanyeol has changed clothes; now, instead of the basketball top, she’s wearing a black singlet, one that draws the curve of her waist quite flatteringly.
“You did sleep for a while,” Chanyeol answers with a cheeky grin, propping her elbow on the back of the couch. “But it’s fine. Recording ended just now anyway. I’d let you sleep for longer, but Tao and I have a gig now, so we gotta go.”
“Oh,” now, Sehun does sit up, running a hand through her hair to put it into place. She looks up to Chanyeol apologetically. “I’m sorry for holding you back.”
“No, it’s… fine,” Chanyel makes a dismissive gesture, and accidentally whacks herself on the nose. She clears her throat awkwardly. “Um, so, oppa’s gonna give Tao and I a ride. Ah, I mean Joonmyun oppa. So they’re waiting outside. I think.” She wrinkles her nose. “I hope they’re still waiting.”
Sehun chuckles quietly, getting on her feet to retrieve her jacket from the small table where she left it. She had gone for long sleeves and turtleneck that day, but it was still too cold to go out without a jacket, so she picked a maroon blazer to overlay with the black of her blouse and tights, complimenting the white of her flowy skirt. Buttoning it is a bit of a challenge, but she doesn’t mind. “Shall we go, then?” She calls with a smile, picking her purse from the couch.
Chanyeol, who was standing right behind her, nods, also smiling. She has her hands in the pockets of her pants, and, in contrast with her usual expansive self, she seems almost… shy. “Before they just leave us here to rot.”
Of course, Joonmyun hasn’t left without them. There isn’t a single trace of impatience in his smile when they show up at the door - though, it does seem to strain a little when Chanyeol tells him to take them all to eat. He drops Tao and Chanyeol first, since it’s the closer location, and Jongin and Sehun look at the live house they’re going to with wide eyes.
“This looks so cool,” Jongin says as he watches Chanyeol talk to the bouncer, seconds before he lets both of them in. Whatever party is going on there, it has already started, and the illumination of the front is deep purple.
“You think so?” Joonmyun asks with something akin to disbelief. Jongin nods firmly.
“I want to perform in one of those when I debut,” he sounds like a child asking his mother for candy. “Can I?”
“Not this one,” Joonmyun mutters almost inaudibly as he maneuvers the car out of there. “But sure. I think it’s an interesting idea. How’s the recording going?”
“It’s fun,” Jongin says, and starts telling his manager all about what happened that day. They’re, somehow, the opposite of Sehun and Lu Han; Jongin talks a lot, and Joonmyun only listens, making comments here and there.
During the entire ride, Sehun is completely silent. She’s not quite sure what she’s feeling - or rather, she’s afraid of being sure. She’s afraid of calling it something, of even thinking of it as good or bad, but she remembers her own dream. Running away to a distant country, with a terrible secret locked in a chest.
“Joonmyun sshi,” she calls as they near her apartment. “Is it okay if Jongin stays over tonight?”
The question seems to take both men by surprise, and both turn around to look at her, although Joonmyun does it very briefly. “Well,” he starts off. “Jongin doesn’t have schedules till tomorrow’s afternoon…”
“I’m tired,” Jongin complains to Sehun.
“I want to play videogames,” Sehun complains back.
“I think it’s alright,” Joonmyun shrugs, and glances questioningly at Jongin. “Should I drop you off too, then?”
Jongin groans and moans and whines, but, eventually, he complies. When they arrive at the apartment and Sehun announces she’s going to change into her pajama, he groans some more.
“And I can’t even change into something more comfortable,” is what he says.
“I can lend you some of my clothes,” Sehun suggests mischievously.
At first, he strongly opposes at the idea, but his tiredness affects his backbone rather critically, and he eventually agrees to Sehun’s insistence. First of all, she shoves Jongin into the shower, and leaves a frilly pink night gown on the sink for him to wear. “You look fantastic,” Sehun says amidst laughter when he comes out of the bathroom, and Jongin responds with, “hey, at least it’s comfortable.” Sehun, too showers, and changes into her two-piece pajamas, then drags Jongin to the living room to play Battlefield.
They have lots of fun. They shout insults at each other when things go wrong in the game, and laugh about TV shows during the snack break. Jongin kisses Sehun on the lips for the first time that night, as part of a joke, and Sehun gets back at him by kissing him during their second round of gaming. Being with Jongin is great. It’s good for her career, she’s sure, but it’s also fun, carefree, relaxing. He eventually falls asleep on the couch, head on Sehun’s lap as she watches a foreign movie on TV, and, when she glances at his peaceful sleeping face, she’s surer than ever that she likes him a lot.
And yet,
In her spotless, completely blank surface,
There’s a smudge she can’t seem to erase.
It’s subtle, almost invisible, but it’s there.
And it horrifies her.
The release event for Sehun’s photobook happens on same day as the CeCi shoot. It’s hell; she has no time to rest, or even to eat, between the two activities, and the photoshoot involves very high heels that hurt her feet a lot. When the release wraps up at eight, Sehun is exhausted, hungry, in pain and in a rather foul mood.
Strange enough, being back to her apartment gives her no sense of relief. It does give her some, as it does removing her make-up and taking a nice bath, but, for some reason, she feels really emotionally drained. It’s not unbeknownst to her that she doesn’t like her own apartment - it’s simply not a comfortable place, and it’s always too dark, even during summer days - but it upsets her that she can’t properly rest even though she’s home.
Her phone chimes with a new message just as she’s exiting the bathroom, not bothering to cover herself, since she’s alone. It’s from Jongin.
From: jonginnie
22:01
get dressed!!!!!! hyung finally agreed to take us out☆
noona + tao are having a live today so lets go!!!! you have half an hour!!!!!
And Sehun really wants to turn him down. She’s tired, her legs hurting for standing up for too long, and she’s sure she’ll get a headache if she goes to a live that night, but… as she remembers the live house, illuminated in purple, and Chanyeol in her black singlets, she can’t help but wonder…
To: jonginnie
22:02
Fucker. Tell me about this stuff earlier.
But sure, come pick me up.
part 1 → part 2 → part 3 → part 4