FIC: "I wish..."
Title: “I wish…”
Rating: PG15
Prompt Set: Remus/Sirius 100.3
Prompt: 055 Wishes
Word Count: 5913
Genre: Romance/Humour
Summary: The problem with wishes, Sirius Black found, was that it was absolutely no use at all to wish for something when you aren’t able to take advantage of the granting of said wish.
Warnings: Slash, a tied up puppy, a bit of bad language and unbeta’d.
Notes: Written for one of my 100quills prompts
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise.
“If that spell really granted people wishes, everyone would use it all the time,” James pointed out impatiently. “They don’t, therefore it stands to reason that it is a total fake.”
“Then why is it in a book in the restricted section?” Sirius countered. “Besides, there’s no harm in giving it a try.”
Of course, if Sirius had bothered to read the footnotes at the bottom of the page he would have realised that there was the risk of quite a lot of harm. But Sirius never bothered with such mundane things as footnotes, and so was oblivious to the warning that although the wish would be granted in full, the person making the wish would have a run of extreme bad luck to counter the good luck of having the wish fulfilled.
“What are you going to wish for then?” James asked. “The team to win the Quidditch Cup?”
Sirius scoffed at the idea, declaring that the result was a sure thing anyway.
“Good results in your N.E.W.T.s?”
Sirius shook his head and a wide grin spread across his face.
James recognised the look immediately and tried to close his ears, but it was too late.
“You know what I want more than anything in the world,” Sirius said in a hushed whisper. “This is my one big chance.”
“You think it’s fair to wish for someone to love you back?” James asked dubiously, though he had to admit that if Lily hadn’t finally succumbed to his charms the previous month he might have been tempted.
“I’m not going to wish for him to love me,” Sirius replied. “I’m going to wish for something that will come true eventually if he does.”
James frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Okay, say I wished for an elephant,” Sirius explained. “A ruddy great jumbo isn’t going to appear right in front of me is it? It’ll probably escape from a zoo and find itself with me or something. There’ll be some logical explanation for it, but the wish will have been granted.”
“You don’t know that.”
“If wishes just got granted immediately everyone would use this spell to get what they want,” Sirius continued. “So, I’m going to wish for something that will come true if he feels the same way I do.”
“But won’t it come true anyway even if he doesn’t?” James asked, adding that this didn’t mean he believed the spell would work, but that he was merely playing along.
Sirius glossed over that argument with an airy wave of his hand. “Now, what to wish for…”
“Some common sense,” James muttered under his breath.
Sirius ignored him. “It’s got to be really specific, that way I’ll know it was my wish and not just an every day occurrence.”
James sighed.
Sirius began the wand movement that he had to repeat throughout the course of speaking his wish and began. “I wish for Remus Lupin, tied to my bed by the wrists with two Gryffindor school ties, his knees bent and his legs spread wide, enjoying being totally at my mercy, and completely naked except for a red and gold ribbon tied around his gorgeous, swollen cock.”
He finished the spell with a final flick and grinned across at James. James’s face had taken on a rather glazed expression, as though he was trying not to be aware of his surroundings, and there was an unhealthy green tinge to his complexion.
“What?” Sirius asked. “I told you I had to be specific.”
James shook his head, trying to dislodge the mental image that Sirius’s wish had produced. “Let’s just get out of here before we’re late for class.”
-o-xXx-o-
Meanwhile in another part of the castle, Remus was chatting to the portrait of Frederick the Forgetful, or as he was known to certain young men amongst the student body, Flirty Fred.
Fred was just in the middle of telling Remus a rather smutty joke when Remus felt a strange sensation that was not entirely pleasant.
The world seemed to sway around him, blurring out of focus, and he could no longer hear what the portrait was saying to him.
Then the world tilted and stilled and Remus found himself moved to an entirely new location.
He knew that it was not possible to apparate within the boundaries of Hogwarts, so his first reaction was that he had been taken ill and had blacked out. It seemed odd because he had been perfectly well a moment before. On the other hand he was feeling rather achy round his joints, a feeling not dissimilar to the morning after the full moon.
He frowned as he looked around the room, realising that he was in the dormitory and not the hospital wing. He wondered what had happened.
He groaned slightly and tried to sit up. Unfortunately, his movements were hampered, though he could not tell by what.
He realised that his legs were not in the most comfortable position and tried to lay them down flat on the bed, but for some reason they wouldn’t co-operate, and try as he might they would not move.
He tried to sit up again, but it was immediately clear that his arms were also being restrained. He could feel the soft material that was looped around his wrists, tying him securely to the bedposts. There was very little give in the bonds, and he could only move his arms an inch or two in any direction.
He tugged at his restraints, but they would not give at all. He wished he had his wand within reaching distance, but that - along with the rest of his clothes - had vanished to goodness knows where.
Clearly the most obvious explanation was that he had fallen victim to a prank. This clearly had James and Sirius written all over it. It was only a matter of time before they made their presence known.
He hoped that they had heard the punch line to Fred’s joke before they had accosted him, because Frederick the Forgetful would not only have forgotten the joke he was telling by now, he would probably have forgotten that he had been talking to Remus at all.
He looked - as best he could - around the room, trying to see where they might be hiding under James’s cloak. There was no indentation on any of the beds, no sound of quiet breathing from anywhere in the room. But Remus had no doubt that they were not far away, enjoying watching him squirm.
And squirm he was.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if he was on his own bed, but it was quite clear that he was on Sirius’s. Not only was he facing his own bed, but there was something hard sticking into his left buttock, and he had a sneaking suspicion it was one of the dog biscuits Sirius had been chewing on that morning.
Peter had dared Sirius to eat a packet of the dog treats in his human form, and Sirius had obliged and won the bet. Only now did Remus realise that there had been a little cheating going on and that not all the biscuits had been devoured. He made a note to tell Peter as soon as he saw him so that he could get his galleons back.
He just hoped he had managed to get out of his current predicament and back into his clothes before their paths crossed.
Struggling against the restraints was no use. Wandless magic was not working at all. And to make matters even worse, Remus was starting to notice a few other problems.
The first was that he was actually rather cold. The castle was draughty at the best of times, and right now Remus was getting goose bumps from the chilly, wintery air.
The second problem was one he had noticed almost immediately, but had been trying to ignore. After all, there wasn’t anything he could do about it, not whilst he was restrained anyway. He tilted his head and glared at his cock, wishing it would take some notice of the aforementioned cold and react accordingly. Unfortunately, it seemed that that was the only part of his body that was immune to the cold air and his erection was becoming more painful by the minute.
The third problem had begun as more of an annoyance, and it was only after he had pulled himself up as far as he could that he realised what it was. The ribbon, tied in a neat bow around his cock, was tickling his inner thigh and irritating him to the point where he was seriously contemplating using it to strangle whichever idiot had tied it there.
All in all, Remus was not in a very comfortable position at all.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius and James left the library and made their way to Transfiguration. They had plenty of time to get there before Professor McGonagall, but for some reason they had yet to realise, they had a run of bad luck with the staircases.
By the time they had made their way to the classroom door they were ten minutes late, earning Sirius one detention and James, two - because the Head Boy was supposed to set a good example.
“And is Mr Lupin planning on joining us today?” Professor McGonagall asked in a deceptively polite tone.
Sirius looked around the room and saw that Remus was missing.
“He said he wasn’t feeling well this morning,” the quick thinking James replied before Sirius could gather his thoughts together.
Professor McGonagall looked suspicious, but she had no intention of wasting any more of the lesson on distractions like late arrivals and missing students.
-o-xXx-o-
Remus glared at the ceiling, wondering how long he would have to put up with this before they took pity on him and released him from the bed.
“Come on,” he asked the hopefully not empty room. “Enough is enough. Let me loose.”
Silence greeted his plea.
He tried again, a tone of impatience creeping into his voice, but there was still no sign of anyone appearing from under the invisibility cloak.
Asking became pleading, pleading became begging, and when that failed to work, he started on the threats.
He would have shouted for help, except he already knew that no sound would escape the room itself thanks to the spells that restricted noise.
-o-xXx-o-
“Where’s Moony really?” Peter asked as they left Transfiguration and walked down the corridor towards the staircase that led to the kitchens.
“Don’t know,” James replied. “Thought you might know actually.”
Peter shook his head. “Not seen him since breakfast.”
Sirius frowned. “Maybe he really is sick?” he suggested. “Let’s grab some snacks and then check the hospital wing.”
The other nodded in agreement and they quickened their pace.
A house elf greeted them when they arrived in the kitchen and they put their orders in.
“You think Moony would like some trifle?” Sirius asked.
James shrugged. “Probably. But it’s a bit difficult to carry in our robes.”
Sirius chewed on his lip before he asked the house elf to deliver the trifle to Remus instead.
The house elf nodded and disappeared with the trifle.
-o-xXx-o-
Remus was in the middle of contemplating whether life imprisonment in Azkaban was worse than his current predicament when the house elf appeared on the end of the bed.
“At last!” Remus breathed. “Can you untie me?” he asked, tilting his head towards his wrists. It wouldn’t help the problem with his magically restrained legs, but at least he could solve some of his other problems if he had his hands free.
The house elf placed the bowl of trifle on Remus’s chest and turned to his left arm with a thoughtful expression.
“It’s just a knot or two,” Remus explained. “Can you undo them?”
The house elf tried valiantly, but it was soon clear that there was magic in those restraints, too, and try as he might, he could not even loosen the knots.
Remus heaved a sigh of frustration as the house elf grovelled his apologies and disappeared back to the kitchens.
Remus glared at the bowl of trifle that was still sitting on his chest and his stomach started to growl in response.
The house elf had said it was a gift from Master Sirius, and Remus made a promise to himself that Master Bloody Sirius was going to be wearing the trifle before the day was done.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius found that his day didn’t improve after Transfiguration. He was late for Care of Magical Creatures after his goose chase to the hospital wing in search of Remus, and earned his second detention of the day.
The class itself didn’t help to improve things. He answered two questions wrong, trod in a heap of dung and managed to get himself stung by bees when he leaned against the wrong tree stump whilst studying the unicorns.
Remus hadn’t appeared for this class either, and Sirius was starting to worry by the time the students returned to the castle.
“Hey, James,” Sirius whispered. “You don’t think that maybe that wish came true do you?”
James, who had done his level best to forget the wish during the course of the morning, assured him that it was highly unlikely and dragged him towards the Great Hall.
“But maybe I should check, just in case,” Sirius hissed, cautious that Peter was standing nearby and likely to ask questions if he heard what he was saying.
“I’m sure he’s fine,” James insisted. “Perhaps he’s snuck out to Hogsmeade or something. He’s done it before without us.”
“Not during classes.”
“He did back in fifth year,” James reminded him.
“I’m heading up to the dorm,” Peter suddenly announced. “I’ve left my Divination homework up there. You guys want anything?”
Sirius looked at James in panic. James merely rolled his eyes. “No, thanks,” he said. “We’ll save you some pudding.”
Peter nodded and hurried up the stairs.
“James!” Sirius whined. “What if Moony’s up there.”
“Then we’ll know where he is.”
“But what if he’s… you know… naked and stuff.”
“Then Wormtail might get lucky,” James muttered. “For Merlin’s sake, Sirius, get a bloody grip.”
Sirius, who was getting increasingly frustrated turned and kicked a nearby suit of armour. It wasn’t the most sensible thing to do, not by any stretch of the imagination, and the result was an angry suit of armour and his second trip to the hospital wing of the day.
-o-xXx-o-
Remus was happily contemplating murder when he heard the door to the dormitory finally open. “Padfoot, it’s about bloody time,” he said, turning towards the door.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Sirius standing in the doorway, it was Peter, looking positively stunned.
“Well, don’t just stand there,” Remus complained. “Come and give me a hand.”
“With that?” squeaked Peter, his gaze firmly on Remus’s cock.
“With the ties around my wrists,” Remus clarified impatiently. “I can’t work myself loose, they’re magically tied as well as knotted. You’ll have to use your wand.”
Peter took a step nearer and closed the door behind him. “So, you and Padfoot have got together?” he asked, and Remus caught the hurt in his voice.
“No,” he quickly assured him.
“No?” Peter echoed in disbelief. “Then why are you tied naked to his bed?”
“I don’t know,” Remus replied. “Just untie me and we can go and ask Sirius.”
“You know,” Peter said quietly. “I thought we were real mates.”
“We are!”
“I didn’t judge you when you told me you preferred blokes,” Peter continued. “I listened to you as you told me how you felt about Padfoot. I even covered for you when you were dating that prick from Ravenclaw last year.”
“And I’m really grateful for all of that,” Remus interrupted. “Now if you could just help untie me, I’ll be even more grateful.”
“Yet you didn’t even tell me the two of you had got together,” Peter said, ignoring Remus’s words entirely.
“We’re not together!” Remus snapped.
“Obviously it’s been going on for a while,” Peter added. “Padfoot wanted to keep it a secret, did he?”
“Peter, would you just untie me!” Remus begged.
“And you’ll do anything to keep your new boyfriend happy,” Peter concluded miserably.
“Wormtail, would you just listen to me!”
Peter shook his head. “I think I’ll just leave you here for a bit longer,” he said. “Maybe that will force you to think about your mates instead of your boyfriend for once.”
Remus glared at Peter’s back as he turned, picked up some papers from his bedside table, and left the room. He decided against telling Peter that Sirius had cheated on their bet and settled for killing him instead - at least he would if he could ever get free from this bed, and if he wasn’t immediately arrested for Sirius’s murder.
“Could you at least move the bloody bowl?” he called after him, but Peter didn’t return.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius left the hospital wing and made his way to his next class, his stomach growling since he had missed lunch. James, who loved his stomach more than his mates, had deserted him in favour of steak and kidney pie and so Sirius was on his own when he ran into Peter.
“Got your homework?” he asked.
Peter nodded and gave him a strange look.
“Seen Moony?”
Peter turned a rather strange colour at that question, but he shook his head rapidly. “Maybe he’s gone to Ancient Runes already,” he suggested.
“Perhaps,” Sirius agreed. Neither he nor Peter took that class, but James did, and he would be sure to ask him if Remus was there by way of their communications mirrors as soon as he could.
He had never been caught using his mirror in Divination before today. The teacher spent so much time using her inner eye, she was unable to see what was right under her nose. But today she seemed more observant than usual and Sirius chalked up another detention.
Before he had been caught though, James had confirmed that Remus was not in class.
Sirius was starting to get really worried, though at least he now knew that his wish had not been granted. If Remus had been spread out naked on his bed then Peter would surely have seen him. Unless the bed curtains were closed.
“Hey, Wormtail,” he whispered. “When you went up to the dorm, were my bed curtains open or closed?”
“Open,” Peter hissed back. “Why?”
“No reason,” Sirius replied before he turned back to the crystal ball in between them.
-o-xXx-o-
By mid afternoon Remus had decided that Sirius did not deserve a quick death and was contemplating various forms of torture that he would inflict on him.
“Wonder how he’d like being tied up all bloody day,” Remus muttered. “Aroused as hell for no reason at all and no chance of release for hours on end. Bet he’d think twice about doing this if he was the one tied up.”
His legs had long since gone blissfully numb, as had his arms. But his cock was still standing erect and showing no sign of wilting at all. To make it even more frustrating, as the afternoon wore on, Remus realised that he was also getting rather anxious to relieve himself in another sense as well.
He looked longingly at the door that led to the adjoining bathroom and began to struggle against his restraints with renewed effort.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius’s day was also getting steadily worse. He fell down the ladder from the Divination classroom and broke his wrist. He was late for Potions due to another detour to the hospital wing and was so distracted in class that he blew up his cauldron in spectacular fashion. He couldn’t even blame Snape for this, since the other young man was working on the far side of the classroom.
He walked sluggishly up the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower, foregoing tea altogether in favour of moping around in his favourite spot in front of the common room fire.
He wondered again where Remus was, and cursed James for having lost the map to Filch the previous term. He’d never wanted to use it more than he did right now.
He was staring into the fire when the students began to return from the Great Hall, and when they did he turned towards the stairs, retreating higher up the tower and away from the boisterous fourth years who had begun a Gobstones match in the centre of the room.
He opened the door to the dormitory and froze instantly.
For the briefest of moments he was sure that he was hallucinating, but then he realised that there was one very important difference between the Remus of his fantasy and the Remus stretched out on his bed before him.
He was fairly certain that the Remus of his dreams wouldn’t be looking as though he was capable of murdering him.
“Sirius Black, untie me now if you value your life,” Remus hissed from between clenched teeth.
Sirius moved towards the bed and looked at his fantasy come to life. Well, almost his fantasy. The furious expression and the bowl of trifle were somewhat misplaced.
“How did you get here?” Sirius asked as he stared blatantly at Remus’s cock, with the red and gold ribbon tied around it.
“Untie me!” Remus snapped.
Sirius made a sound that was something like a gurgle as he reached towards the ribbon.
“My wrists!” Remus shouted. “Untie my wrists.”
Sirius’s fingers reached the end of the ribbon and his tongue darted out to lick his lips.
“Sirius, please,” Remus begged.
It was the quiet pleading that finally got through to him and he pulled his wand from his robes and pointed it at the Gryffindor tie. He frowned when his spell didn’t undo the knot, but he tried again. When it still didn’t work he resorted to physical methods, yanking at the knot with his fingers and then his teeth. Still it would not work.
“Cut it,” Remus suggested.
Sirius opened his trunk and pulled out his penknife, but even that did nothing to free Remus.
He was getting increasingly agitated - though not even close to how frustrated Remus appeared to be - especially after he sent the bowl of trifle toppling, spilling it over Remus’s chest.
“Urgh,” he mumbled as he looked at the sticky mess and wondered if Remus would be amenable to him cleaning him up with his tongue. One look at Remus’s face told him immediately that suggesting such a thing would be extremely detrimental to his health.
“I think it’s going to take a counter spell or something,” Remus said. “I couldn’t move my legs even before they went numb.”
“I don’t know what spell this is,” Sirius admitted. “I…”
“What?” Remus prompted. “Spit it out. What did you do?”
“I made a wish,” Sirius explained quietly. “I didn’t think it would come true, not like this anyway.”
“Well, how about you unwish it,” Remus snarled.
Sirius nodded and began the spell he had done that morning again. This time saying that he didn’t want Remus on his bed, naked and all the rest of it.
It didn’t work. Remus was still trapped in the same position he had been in all day.
“There must be something I’m missing,” an increasingly frustrated Sirius said. “Some factor I’m overlooking.”
“You wished for me to be like this?” Remus asked.
“Obviously,” Sirius replied. “I thought we’d covered that?”
“You’re gay,” Remus stated.
“Oh… er… yeah,” Sirius mumbled. “Been meaning to tell you for a while.”
“I could think of better ways than this,” Remus pointed out. “You could have just sat me down and said the words.”
“It’s not that easy.”
Remus nodded. “I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Been meaning to have a chat with you myself actually.”
Sirius gave a small smile. “Yeah?”
Remus sighed. “Well, now that’s out of the way, how about you get me untied, since it is the one thing you can do that will stop me from strangling you with that bloody ribbon.”
Sirius couldn’t help it. His eyes shot to the ribbon again and he drew in a sharp breath when he saw Remus’s cock twitch under his gaze.
“Sirius, this is neither the time nor the place for whatever it is you’re thinking,” Remus said. “Really, I’ve been dying to take a piss for hours.”
“Way to go to kill the mood, Moony,” Sirius huffed.
“My mood has been getting steadily worse all day,” Remus pointed out. “Now, how about you put that brilliant mind of yours on the job of working out how to get me out of this mess.”
Sirius, practically preening at being called brilliant, nodded enthusiastically and decided that different tactics were in order.
“At my mercy,” he whispered to himself as he climbed onto the bed and kneeled between Remus’s legs.
“You’d better not be thinking of doing what I think you’re thinking of doing,” Remus warned. “We are not having sex today!”
“I wasn’t planning on sex,” Sirius replied sulkily, though the positions the two of them were in pushed the idea to the forefront of his mind for a fleeting moment. “How about we try and sort your legs out first,” he suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” Remus replied.
Sirius ran a hand along one thigh, inching closer to the ribbon that he couldn’t seem to look away from.
He was barely thinking as he gently pushed Remus’s leg down so that he was lying flat on the bed.
“Aaaah,” Remus sighed in obvious relief. “I still can’t move the other one. Could you…?”
Sirius looked at the leg that he had pushed flat and wondered what it was he had done that was different to what Remus had been trying all day. He had no idea, but when he gently manoeuvred the second leg to a more comfortable position he was relieved to see that it was just as easy.
“How does that feel?” Sirius asked.
“Good enough that I may just let you live,” Remus replied. “Now, how about my arms?”
“I already tried to undo those,” Sirius reminded him.
“Try harder or I may change my mind about strangling you again.”
Sirius crawled over Remus’s leg and examined the tie closely. He didn’t notice the covers slipping beneath him until he fell to the floor, banging his head hard on the edge of the wardrobe.
Remus stretched as far as he could, straining to see Sirius, who was clearly unconscious. “Sirius!” he called, hoping to see him stirring.
He tried yelling a little louder, but he still didn’t move.
It was then that he realised that Sirius had left the door to the dormitory open. The room was no longer soundproofed.
The desire not to be completely humiliated in front of whoever heard him yelling battled against genuine concern for Sirius and he let loose the loudest yell he could, hoping that it would be James or Peter who heard, but knowing his luck was not that good.
Sure enough, the first person to appear in the doorway was a goggling first year boy, who didn’t seem to know where to look.
“Run and get some help,” Remus ordered, trying to make his voice prefect-like despite his debauched appearance.
The first year ran out of the door, just as a couple of fifth years arrived to see what the yelling was all about.
They stared at Remus with identical knowing smirks on their faces. Clearly they were going to make sure everyone knew what sort of things the two seventh years got up to in the dorms.
“Perverts!” a new voice sneered from behind the fifth years, and Remus groaned as he recognised a rather prudish sixth year boy glaring into the room.
Remus closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. He was never going to live this down.
Then came the familiar and horrifying sound of the footsteps of Professor McGonagall.
“Out of the way,” she ordered as she swept through the growing crowd in the doorway to the seventh year dormitory.
“Good afternoon, Mr Lupin,” she greeted him, almost as though their paths had crossed in the village.
“Professor,” Remus mumbled, his face turning crimson as he looked at his head of house.
“You’ve missed all your classes today,” Professor McGonagall said as she bent down to take a closer look at Sirius, who was just starting to come round. “One detention for each class missed.”
“But it wasn’t my fault,” Remus argued.
Professor McGonagall turned the full force of her glare on him, silently reminding him of all the transgressions he had got away with over the last six and a half years. This mess might not be his fault, but many other things had been.
“Ah, Mr Black,” McGonagall said. “Back with us, are you?”
Sirius groaned and clambered to his feet. “What happened?”
“You fell off the bed,” Remus told him.
“I believe an explanation is in order,” McGonagall said as she pointed her wand at Remus’s wrists.
Remus waited for the ties to loosen, but it seemed that even Professor McGonagall was unable to manage that particular feat. He sighed again and glared at Sirius.
“What spell did you use?” she asked Sirius.
“It was a wishing spell,” Sirius replied. “From a book in the library.”
“The restricted section?”
Sirius nodded.
“Foolish boy,” McGonagall muttered. “Well, it seems that you have your wish and until it is fulfilled, Mr Lupin will be held right where he is.”
“But it is fulfilled,” Sirius argued. “I didn’t wish for anything else.”
“You must have,” McGonagall stated calmly. “Now, I suggest you sit calmly until Madam Pomfrey gets here and checks your head, and in the meantime you can contemplate how to get your… boyfriend, out of this predicament.”
Remus felt his heart speed up a little at the word boyfriend, and although it might have been his imagination, he thought he caught sight of a slight blush creeping up over Sirius’s face.
McGonagall herded the rest of the gawking students out of the room and closed the door. Madam Pomfrey arrived moments later and gave Sirius the all clear.
“Just a bump to the head,” she said. “He gets worse on the Quidditch pitch every practice.”
“Can you help Remus out?” Sirius asked, pointing to the bed.
Madam Pomfrey gave a small, not entirely pleasant smile. “I suspect it is probably already too late for him,” she announced.
Sirius frowned as he watched Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall leave the room, closing the door securely behind them. “Did she mean what I think she meant?” he asked Remus.
“Probably,” Remus replied. “I think those two are getting way too much amusement out of this than any member of staff should.”
“How are you doing?” Sirius asked as he sat back on the edge of the bed.
“Just fine,” Remus replied sarcastically. “I’m still tied to the bed. I’m still dying for a piss, and I’ve just been humiliated in front of half the house.”
“Well, we’ve both been humiliated,” Sirius pointed out.
“You’re not the one tied naked to the bed and covered in trifle.”
“Do you want a bottle or something?” Sirius asked. “Er… you know… to piss in…”
“I want to be untied so I can go to the bloody bathroom,” Remus replied. “You are so going to pay for this later.”
Sirius grimaced. “It’s not like I did this on purpose.”
“You wished for exactly this,” Remus reminded him.
“Not this exactly,” Sirius said. “In my fantasy you enjoyed being…”
“At your mercy?” Remus supplied.
“Yeah,” Sirius whispered. “My wish involved you actually liking this… wanting this…”
Remus sighed. “I’m not saying I’m totally opposed to the idea. It’s not like I don’t…”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“You mean it?”
“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Remus complained.
“You fancy me, too?” Sirius asked hopefully.
“Of course I bloody do,” Remus muttered.
Sirius grinned. “And you like the idea of being at my mercy?”
Remus grinned back. “Not as much as I like the idea of you being at mine,” he admitted.
“Maybe that’s why the wish isn’t over,” Sirius suggested. “Maybe what I’m wishing for is something that can’t be granted by magic.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wished to have you enjoying being at my mercy, but you aren’t enjoying this at all, are you?”
“Hardly,” Remus muttered.
Sirius gave a small smile. “I think that maybe as soon as you start enjoying it, the wish will be granted and you’ll be free.”
“You’re asking an awful lot,” Remus replied with a smile of his own.
“Not that much,” Sirius said as he leaned over Remus, his lips hovering over Remus’s mouth. “Would you enjoy it if I kissed you?” he whispered.
Remus blinked up at him and gave a small nod.
Sirius didn’t wait any longer. He pressed their lips together, determined that Remus should enjoy their first kiss.
He knew the spell was broken when he felt Remus’s arms tightening round his neck and he deepened the kiss in response.
He pulled back and grinned down at Remus. “You’ve got five minutes before I want you back in this bed,” he said as he nudged Remus towards the bathroom.
Remus grinned back at him as he hobbled for the door. “And you’ve got five minutes to get all the dog biscuits out of the bed.” He looked at the mess of crushed biscuits and spilt trifle. “On second thoughts, we’ll use my bed.”
“Don’t shower,” Sirius warned him, licking his lips in anticipation.
Remus chuckled as he closed the door behind him.
He knew he should be plotting revenge for what Sirius had put him through, but Remus was the sort of person who did read the footnotes of books, and he knew that wish spells came alongside a run of bad luck. He knew that Sirius was going to have a tough time for a while yet, and Remus being as much of a marauder as any of the team, was going to enjoy Sirius’s discomfort, even as he tried to keep him from getting into too much trouble.
Trouble like trashing beds, he mused having walked back into the dormitory, prompting Sirius to turn in his direction, trip in the trailing bed curtains and fall crashing to the floor, pulling the curtains down with him in a tangled heap.
Remus chuckled for only a moment, until he realised that Sirius was not emerging from the curtains, having knocked himself unconscious once more.
Remus knelt down on the floor and pulled the curtains aside. Sirius opened his eyes and groaned. “You’re going to be hazardous to my health,” he muttered as Remus helped him into a sitting position.
“I could say the same about you,” Remus pointed out cheerfully. “So, what are you going to wish for now?”
Sirius shook his head. “No more wishes for me,” he declared.
“Then how about I make one?” Remus suggested.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
Remus smiled as he knelt down in front of Sirius. “I think we’ll be safe enough with this one.”
“Which one?” Sirius whispered as Remus drew closer.
“If I tell, it won’t come true,” Remus whispered back, and he pressed their lips together for a second time.
Sirius thought he could probably live with that and he kissed Remus back.
Rating: PG15
Prompt Set: Remus/Sirius 100.3
Prompt: 055 Wishes
Word Count: 5913
Genre: Romance/Humour
Summary: The problem with wishes, Sirius Black found, was that it was absolutely no use at all to wish for something when you aren’t able to take advantage of the granting of said wish.
Warnings: Slash, a tied up puppy, a bit of bad language and unbeta’d.
Notes: Written for one of my 100quills prompts
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise.
“If that spell really granted people wishes, everyone would use it all the time,” James pointed out impatiently. “They don’t, therefore it stands to reason that it is a total fake.”
“Then why is it in a book in the restricted section?” Sirius countered. “Besides, there’s no harm in giving it a try.”
Of course, if Sirius had bothered to read the footnotes at the bottom of the page he would have realised that there was the risk of quite a lot of harm. But Sirius never bothered with such mundane things as footnotes, and so was oblivious to the warning that although the wish would be granted in full, the person making the wish would have a run of extreme bad luck to counter the good luck of having the wish fulfilled.
“What are you going to wish for then?” James asked. “The team to win the Quidditch Cup?”
Sirius scoffed at the idea, declaring that the result was a sure thing anyway.
“Good results in your N.E.W.T.s?”
Sirius shook his head and a wide grin spread across his face.
James recognised the look immediately and tried to close his ears, but it was too late.
“You know what I want more than anything in the world,” Sirius said in a hushed whisper. “This is my one big chance.”
“You think it’s fair to wish for someone to love you back?” James asked dubiously, though he had to admit that if Lily hadn’t finally succumbed to his charms the previous month he might have been tempted.
“I’m not going to wish for him to love me,” Sirius replied. “I’m going to wish for something that will come true eventually if he does.”
James frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Okay, say I wished for an elephant,” Sirius explained. “A ruddy great jumbo isn’t going to appear right in front of me is it? It’ll probably escape from a zoo and find itself with me or something. There’ll be some logical explanation for it, but the wish will have been granted.”
“You don’t know that.”
“If wishes just got granted immediately everyone would use this spell to get what they want,” Sirius continued. “So, I’m going to wish for something that will come true if he feels the same way I do.”
“But won’t it come true anyway even if he doesn’t?” James asked, adding that this didn’t mean he believed the spell would work, but that he was merely playing along.
Sirius glossed over that argument with an airy wave of his hand. “Now, what to wish for…”
“Some common sense,” James muttered under his breath.
Sirius ignored him. “It’s got to be really specific, that way I’ll know it was my wish and not just an every day occurrence.”
James sighed.
Sirius began the wand movement that he had to repeat throughout the course of speaking his wish and began. “I wish for Remus Lupin, tied to my bed by the wrists with two Gryffindor school ties, his knees bent and his legs spread wide, enjoying being totally at my mercy, and completely naked except for a red and gold ribbon tied around his gorgeous, swollen cock.”
He finished the spell with a final flick and grinned across at James. James’s face had taken on a rather glazed expression, as though he was trying not to be aware of his surroundings, and there was an unhealthy green tinge to his complexion.
“What?” Sirius asked. “I told you I had to be specific.”
James shook his head, trying to dislodge the mental image that Sirius’s wish had produced. “Let’s just get out of here before we’re late for class.”
-o-xXx-o-
Meanwhile in another part of the castle, Remus was chatting to the portrait of Frederick the Forgetful, or as he was known to certain young men amongst the student body, Flirty Fred.
Fred was just in the middle of telling Remus a rather smutty joke when Remus felt a strange sensation that was not entirely pleasant.
The world seemed to sway around him, blurring out of focus, and he could no longer hear what the portrait was saying to him.
Then the world tilted and stilled and Remus found himself moved to an entirely new location.
He knew that it was not possible to apparate within the boundaries of Hogwarts, so his first reaction was that he had been taken ill and had blacked out. It seemed odd because he had been perfectly well a moment before. On the other hand he was feeling rather achy round his joints, a feeling not dissimilar to the morning after the full moon.
He frowned as he looked around the room, realising that he was in the dormitory and not the hospital wing. He wondered what had happened.
He groaned slightly and tried to sit up. Unfortunately, his movements were hampered, though he could not tell by what.
He realised that his legs were not in the most comfortable position and tried to lay them down flat on the bed, but for some reason they wouldn’t co-operate, and try as he might they would not move.
He tried to sit up again, but it was immediately clear that his arms were also being restrained. He could feel the soft material that was looped around his wrists, tying him securely to the bedposts. There was very little give in the bonds, and he could only move his arms an inch or two in any direction.
He tugged at his restraints, but they would not give at all. He wished he had his wand within reaching distance, but that - along with the rest of his clothes - had vanished to goodness knows where.
Clearly the most obvious explanation was that he had fallen victim to a prank. This clearly had James and Sirius written all over it. It was only a matter of time before they made their presence known.
He hoped that they had heard the punch line to Fred’s joke before they had accosted him, because Frederick the Forgetful would not only have forgotten the joke he was telling by now, he would probably have forgotten that he had been talking to Remus at all.
He looked - as best he could - around the room, trying to see where they might be hiding under James’s cloak. There was no indentation on any of the beds, no sound of quiet breathing from anywhere in the room. But Remus had no doubt that they were not far away, enjoying watching him squirm.
And squirm he was.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if he was on his own bed, but it was quite clear that he was on Sirius’s. Not only was he facing his own bed, but there was something hard sticking into his left buttock, and he had a sneaking suspicion it was one of the dog biscuits Sirius had been chewing on that morning.
Peter had dared Sirius to eat a packet of the dog treats in his human form, and Sirius had obliged and won the bet. Only now did Remus realise that there had been a little cheating going on and that not all the biscuits had been devoured. He made a note to tell Peter as soon as he saw him so that he could get his galleons back.
He just hoped he had managed to get out of his current predicament and back into his clothes before their paths crossed.
Struggling against the restraints was no use. Wandless magic was not working at all. And to make matters even worse, Remus was starting to notice a few other problems.
The first was that he was actually rather cold. The castle was draughty at the best of times, and right now Remus was getting goose bumps from the chilly, wintery air.
The second problem was one he had noticed almost immediately, but had been trying to ignore. After all, there wasn’t anything he could do about it, not whilst he was restrained anyway. He tilted his head and glared at his cock, wishing it would take some notice of the aforementioned cold and react accordingly. Unfortunately, it seemed that that was the only part of his body that was immune to the cold air and his erection was becoming more painful by the minute.
The third problem had begun as more of an annoyance, and it was only after he had pulled himself up as far as he could that he realised what it was. The ribbon, tied in a neat bow around his cock, was tickling his inner thigh and irritating him to the point where he was seriously contemplating using it to strangle whichever idiot had tied it there.
All in all, Remus was not in a very comfortable position at all.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius and James left the library and made their way to Transfiguration. They had plenty of time to get there before Professor McGonagall, but for some reason they had yet to realise, they had a run of bad luck with the staircases.
By the time they had made their way to the classroom door they were ten minutes late, earning Sirius one detention and James, two - because the Head Boy was supposed to set a good example.
“And is Mr Lupin planning on joining us today?” Professor McGonagall asked in a deceptively polite tone.
Sirius looked around the room and saw that Remus was missing.
“He said he wasn’t feeling well this morning,” the quick thinking James replied before Sirius could gather his thoughts together.
Professor McGonagall looked suspicious, but she had no intention of wasting any more of the lesson on distractions like late arrivals and missing students.
-o-xXx-o-
Remus glared at the ceiling, wondering how long he would have to put up with this before they took pity on him and released him from the bed.
“Come on,” he asked the hopefully not empty room. “Enough is enough. Let me loose.”
Silence greeted his plea.
He tried again, a tone of impatience creeping into his voice, but there was still no sign of anyone appearing from under the invisibility cloak.
Asking became pleading, pleading became begging, and when that failed to work, he started on the threats.
He would have shouted for help, except he already knew that no sound would escape the room itself thanks to the spells that restricted noise.
-o-xXx-o-
“Where’s Moony really?” Peter asked as they left Transfiguration and walked down the corridor towards the staircase that led to the kitchens.
“Don’t know,” James replied. “Thought you might know actually.”
Peter shook his head. “Not seen him since breakfast.”
Sirius frowned. “Maybe he really is sick?” he suggested. “Let’s grab some snacks and then check the hospital wing.”
The other nodded in agreement and they quickened their pace.
A house elf greeted them when they arrived in the kitchen and they put their orders in.
“You think Moony would like some trifle?” Sirius asked.
James shrugged. “Probably. But it’s a bit difficult to carry in our robes.”
Sirius chewed on his lip before he asked the house elf to deliver the trifle to Remus instead.
The house elf nodded and disappeared with the trifle.
-o-xXx-o-
Remus was in the middle of contemplating whether life imprisonment in Azkaban was worse than his current predicament when the house elf appeared on the end of the bed.
“At last!” Remus breathed. “Can you untie me?” he asked, tilting his head towards his wrists. It wouldn’t help the problem with his magically restrained legs, but at least he could solve some of his other problems if he had his hands free.
The house elf placed the bowl of trifle on Remus’s chest and turned to his left arm with a thoughtful expression.
“It’s just a knot or two,” Remus explained. “Can you undo them?”
The house elf tried valiantly, but it was soon clear that there was magic in those restraints, too, and try as he might, he could not even loosen the knots.
Remus heaved a sigh of frustration as the house elf grovelled his apologies and disappeared back to the kitchens.
Remus glared at the bowl of trifle that was still sitting on his chest and his stomach started to growl in response.
The house elf had said it was a gift from Master Sirius, and Remus made a promise to himself that Master Bloody Sirius was going to be wearing the trifle before the day was done.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius found that his day didn’t improve after Transfiguration. He was late for Care of Magical Creatures after his goose chase to the hospital wing in search of Remus, and earned his second detention of the day.
The class itself didn’t help to improve things. He answered two questions wrong, trod in a heap of dung and managed to get himself stung by bees when he leaned against the wrong tree stump whilst studying the unicorns.
Remus hadn’t appeared for this class either, and Sirius was starting to worry by the time the students returned to the castle.
“Hey, James,” Sirius whispered. “You don’t think that maybe that wish came true do you?”
James, who had done his level best to forget the wish during the course of the morning, assured him that it was highly unlikely and dragged him towards the Great Hall.
“But maybe I should check, just in case,” Sirius hissed, cautious that Peter was standing nearby and likely to ask questions if he heard what he was saying.
“I’m sure he’s fine,” James insisted. “Perhaps he’s snuck out to Hogsmeade or something. He’s done it before without us.”
“Not during classes.”
“He did back in fifth year,” James reminded him.
“I’m heading up to the dorm,” Peter suddenly announced. “I’ve left my Divination homework up there. You guys want anything?”
Sirius looked at James in panic. James merely rolled his eyes. “No, thanks,” he said. “We’ll save you some pudding.”
Peter nodded and hurried up the stairs.
“James!” Sirius whined. “What if Moony’s up there.”
“Then we’ll know where he is.”
“But what if he’s… you know… naked and stuff.”
“Then Wormtail might get lucky,” James muttered. “For Merlin’s sake, Sirius, get a bloody grip.”
Sirius, who was getting increasingly frustrated turned and kicked a nearby suit of armour. It wasn’t the most sensible thing to do, not by any stretch of the imagination, and the result was an angry suit of armour and his second trip to the hospital wing of the day.
-o-xXx-o-
Remus was happily contemplating murder when he heard the door to the dormitory finally open. “Padfoot, it’s about bloody time,” he said, turning towards the door.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Sirius standing in the doorway, it was Peter, looking positively stunned.
“Well, don’t just stand there,” Remus complained. “Come and give me a hand.”
“With that?” squeaked Peter, his gaze firmly on Remus’s cock.
“With the ties around my wrists,” Remus clarified impatiently. “I can’t work myself loose, they’re magically tied as well as knotted. You’ll have to use your wand.”
Peter took a step nearer and closed the door behind him. “So, you and Padfoot have got together?” he asked, and Remus caught the hurt in his voice.
“No,” he quickly assured him.
“No?” Peter echoed in disbelief. “Then why are you tied naked to his bed?”
“I don’t know,” Remus replied. “Just untie me and we can go and ask Sirius.”
“You know,” Peter said quietly. “I thought we were real mates.”
“We are!”
“I didn’t judge you when you told me you preferred blokes,” Peter continued. “I listened to you as you told me how you felt about Padfoot. I even covered for you when you were dating that prick from Ravenclaw last year.”
“And I’m really grateful for all of that,” Remus interrupted. “Now if you could just help untie me, I’ll be even more grateful.”
“Yet you didn’t even tell me the two of you had got together,” Peter said, ignoring Remus’s words entirely.
“We’re not together!” Remus snapped.
“Obviously it’s been going on for a while,” Peter added. “Padfoot wanted to keep it a secret, did he?”
“Peter, would you just untie me!” Remus begged.
“And you’ll do anything to keep your new boyfriend happy,” Peter concluded miserably.
“Wormtail, would you just listen to me!”
Peter shook his head. “I think I’ll just leave you here for a bit longer,” he said. “Maybe that will force you to think about your mates instead of your boyfriend for once.”
Remus glared at Peter’s back as he turned, picked up some papers from his bedside table, and left the room. He decided against telling Peter that Sirius had cheated on their bet and settled for killing him instead - at least he would if he could ever get free from this bed, and if he wasn’t immediately arrested for Sirius’s murder.
“Could you at least move the bloody bowl?” he called after him, but Peter didn’t return.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius left the hospital wing and made his way to his next class, his stomach growling since he had missed lunch. James, who loved his stomach more than his mates, had deserted him in favour of steak and kidney pie and so Sirius was on his own when he ran into Peter.
“Got your homework?” he asked.
Peter nodded and gave him a strange look.
“Seen Moony?”
Peter turned a rather strange colour at that question, but he shook his head rapidly. “Maybe he’s gone to Ancient Runes already,” he suggested.
“Perhaps,” Sirius agreed. Neither he nor Peter took that class, but James did, and he would be sure to ask him if Remus was there by way of their communications mirrors as soon as he could.
He had never been caught using his mirror in Divination before today. The teacher spent so much time using her inner eye, she was unable to see what was right under her nose. But today she seemed more observant than usual and Sirius chalked up another detention.
Before he had been caught though, James had confirmed that Remus was not in class.
Sirius was starting to get really worried, though at least he now knew that his wish had not been granted. If Remus had been spread out naked on his bed then Peter would surely have seen him. Unless the bed curtains were closed.
“Hey, Wormtail,” he whispered. “When you went up to the dorm, were my bed curtains open or closed?”
“Open,” Peter hissed back. “Why?”
“No reason,” Sirius replied before he turned back to the crystal ball in between them.
-o-xXx-o-
By mid afternoon Remus had decided that Sirius did not deserve a quick death and was contemplating various forms of torture that he would inflict on him.
“Wonder how he’d like being tied up all bloody day,” Remus muttered. “Aroused as hell for no reason at all and no chance of release for hours on end. Bet he’d think twice about doing this if he was the one tied up.”
His legs had long since gone blissfully numb, as had his arms. But his cock was still standing erect and showing no sign of wilting at all. To make it even more frustrating, as the afternoon wore on, Remus realised that he was also getting rather anxious to relieve himself in another sense as well.
He looked longingly at the door that led to the adjoining bathroom and began to struggle against his restraints with renewed effort.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius’s day was also getting steadily worse. He fell down the ladder from the Divination classroom and broke his wrist. He was late for Potions due to another detour to the hospital wing and was so distracted in class that he blew up his cauldron in spectacular fashion. He couldn’t even blame Snape for this, since the other young man was working on the far side of the classroom.
He walked sluggishly up the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower, foregoing tea altogether in favour of moping around in his favourite spot in front of the common room fire.
He wondered again where Remus was, and cursed James for having lost the map to Filch the previous term. He’d never wanted to use it more than he did right now.
He was staring into the fire when the students began to return from the Great Hall, and when they did he turned towards the stairs, retreating higher up the tower and away from the boisterous fourth years who had begun a Gobstones match in the centre of the room.
He opened the door to the dormitory and froze instantly.
For the briefest of moments he was sure that he was hallucinating, but then he realised that there was one very important difference between the Remus of his fantasy and the Remus stretched out on his bed before him.
He was fairly certain that the Remus of his dreams wouldn’t be looking as though he was capable of murdering him.
“Sirius Black, untie me now if you value your life,” Remus hissed from between clenched teeth.
Sirius moved towards the bed and looked at his fantasy come to life. Well, almost his fantasy. The furious expression and the bowl of trifle were somewhat misplaced.
“How did you get here?” Sirius asked as he stared blatantly at Remus’s cock, with the red and gold ribbon tied around it.
“Untie me!” Remus snapped.
Sirius made a sound that was something like a gurgle as he reached towards the ribbon.
“My wrists!” Remus shouted. “Untie my wrists.”
Sirius’s fingers reached the end of the ribbon and his tongue darted out to lick his lips.
“Sirius, please,” Remus begged.
It was the quiet pleading that finally got through to him and he pulled his wand from his robes and pointed it at the Gryffindor tie. He frowned when his spell didn’t undo the knot, but he tried again. When it still didn’t work he resorted to physical methods, yanking at the knot with his fingers and then his teeth. Still it would not work.
“Cut it,” Remus suggested.
Sirius opened his trunk and pulled out his penknife, but even that did nothing to free Remus.
He was getting increasingly agitated - though not even close to how frustrated Remus appeared to be - especially after he sent the bowl of trifle toppling, spilling it over Remus’s chest.
“Urgh,” he mumbled as he looked at the sticky mess and wondered if Remus would be amenable to him cleaning him up with his tongue. One look at Remus’s face told him immediately that suggesting such a thing would be extremely detrimental to his health.
“I think it’s going to take a counter spell or something,” Remus said. “I couldn’t move my legs even before they went numb.”
“I don’t know what spell this is,” Sirius admitted. “I…”
“What?” Remus prompted. “Spit it out. What did you do?”
“I made a wish,” Sirius explained quietly. “I didn’t think it would come true, not like this anyway.”
“Well, how about you unwish it,” Remus snarled.
Sirius nodded and began the spell he had done that morning again. This time saying that he didn’t want Remus on his bed, naked and all the rest of it.
It didn’t work. Remus was still trapped in the same position he had been in all day.
“There must be something I’m missing,” an increasingly frustrated Sirius said. “Some factor I’m overlooking.”
“You wished for me to be like this?” Remus asked.
“Obviously,” Sirius replied. “I thought we’d covered that?”
“You’re gay,” Remus stated.
“Oh… er… yeah,” Sirius mumbled. “Been meaning to tell you for a while.”
“I could think of better ways than this,” Remus pointed out. “You could have just sat me down and said the words.”
“It’s not that easy.”
Remus nodded. “I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Been meaning to have a chat with you myself actually.”
Sirius gave a small smile. “Yeah?”
Remus sighed. “Well, now that’s out of the way, how about you get me untied, since it is the one thing you can do that will stop me from strangling you with that bloody ribbon.”
Sirius couldn’t help it. His eyes shot to the ribbon again and he drew in a sharp breath when he saw Remus’s cock twitch under his gaze.
“Sirius, this is neither the time nor the place for whatever it is you’re thinking,” Remus said. “Really, I’ve been dying to take a piss for hours.”
“Way to go to kill the mood, Moony,” Sirius huffed.
“My mood has been getting steadily worse all day,” Remus pointed out. “Now, how about you put that brilliant mind of yours on the job of working out how to get me out of this mess.”
Sirius, practically preening at being called brilliant, nodded enthusiastically and decided that different tactics were in order.
“At my mercy,” he whispered to himself as he climbed onto the bed and kneeled between Remus’s legs.
“You’d better not be thinking of doing what I think you’re thinking of doing,” Remus warned. “We are not having sex today!”
“I wasn’t planning on sex,” Sirius replied sulkily, though the positions the two of them were in pushed the idea to the forefront of his mind for a fleeting moment. “How about we try and sort your legs out first,” he suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” Remus replied.
Sirius ran a hand along one thigh, inching closer to the ribbon that he couldn’t seem to look away from.
He was barely thinking as he gently pushed Remus’s leg down so that he was lying flat on the bed.
“Aaaah,” Remus sighed in obvious relief. “I still can’t move the other one. Could you…?”
Sirius looked at the leg that he had pushed flat and wondered what it was he had done that was different to what Remus had been trying all day. He had no idea, but when he gently manoeuvred the second leg to a more comfortable position he was relieved to see that it was just as easy.
“How does that feel?” Sirius asked.
“Good enough that I may just let you live,” Remus replied. “Now, how about my arms?”
“I already tried to undo those,” Sirius reminded him.
“Try harder or I may change my mind about strangling you again.”
Sirius crawled over Remus’s leg and examined the tie closely. He didn’t notice the covers slipping beneath him until he fell to the floor, banging his head hard on the edge of the wardrobe.
Remus stretched as far as he could, straining to see Sirius, who was clearly unconscious. “Sirius!” he called, hoping to see him stirring.
He tried yelling a little louder, but he still didn’t move.
It was then that he realised that Sirius had left the door to the dormitory open. The room was no longer soundproofed.
The desire not to be completely humiliated in front of whoever heard him yelling battled against genuine concern for Sirius and he let loose the loudest yell he could, hoping that it would be James or Peter who heard, but knowing his luck was not that good.
Sure enough, the first person to appear in the doorway was a goggling first year boy, who didn’t seem to know where to look.
“Run and get some help,” Remus ordered, trying to make his voice prefect-like despite his debauched appearance.
The first year ran out of the door, just as a couple of fifth years arrived to see what the yelling was all about.
They stared at Remus with identical knowing smirks on their faces. Clearly they were going to make sure everyone knew what sort of things the two seventh years got up to in the dorms.
“Perverts!” a new voice sneered from behind the fifth years, and Remus groaned as he recognised a rather prudish sixth year boy glaring into the room.
Remus closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. He was never going to live this down.
Then came the familiar and horrifying sound of the footsteps of Professor McGonagall.
“Out of the way,” she ordered as she swept through the growing crowd in the doorway to the seventh year dormitory.
“Good afternoon, Mr Lupin,” she greeted him, almost as though their paths had crossed in the village.
“Professor,” Remus mumbled, his face turning crimson as he looked at his head of house.
“You’ve missed all your classes today,” Professor McGonagall said as she bent down to take a closer look at Sirius, who was just starting to come round. “One detention for each class missed.”
“But it wasn’t my fault,” Remus argued.
Professor McGonagall turned the full force of her glare on him, silently reminding him of all the transgressions he had got away with over the last six and a half years. This mess might not be his fault, but many other things had been.
“Ah, Mr Black,” McGonagall said. “Back with us, are you?”
Sirius groaned and clambered to his feet. “What happened?”
“You fell off the bed,” Remus told him.
“I believe an explanation is in order,” McGonagall said as she pointed her wand at Remus’s wrists.
Remus waited for the ties to loosen, but it seemed that even Professor McGonagall was unable to manage that particular feat. He sighed again and glared at Sirius.
“What spell did you use?” she asked Sirius.
“It was a wishing spell,” Sirius replied. “From a book in the library.”
“The restricted section?”
Sirius nodded.
“Foolish boy,” McGonagall muttered. “Well, it seems that you have your wish and until it is fulfilled, Mr Lupin will be held right where he is.”
“But it is fulfilled,” Sirius argued. “I didn’t wish for anything else.”
“You must have,” McGonagall stated calmly. “Now, I suggest you sit calmly until Madam Pomfrey gets here and checks your head, and in the meantime you can contemplate how to get your… boyfriend, out of this predicament.”
Remus felt his heart speed up a little at the word boyfriend, and although it might have been his imagination, he thought he caught sight of a slight blush creeping up over Sirius’s face.
McGonagall herded the rest of the gawking students out of the room and closed the door. Madam Pomfrey arrived moments later and gave Sirius the all clear.
“Just a bump to the head,” she said. “He gets worse on the Quidditch pitch every practice.”
“Can you help Remus out?” Sirius asked, pointing to the bed.
Madam Pomfrey gave a small, not entirely pleasant smile. “I suspect it is probably already too late for him,” she announced.
Sirius frowned as he watched Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall leave the room, closing the door securely behind them. “Did she mean what I think she meant?” he asked Remus.
“Probably,” Remus replied. “I think those two are getting way too much amusement out of this than any member of staff should.”
“How are you doing?” Sirius asked as he sat back on the edge of the bed.
“Just fine,” Remus replied sarcastically. “I’m still tied to the bed. I’m still dying for a piss, and I’ve just been humiliated in front of half the house.”
“Well, we’ve both been humiliated,” Sirius pointed out.
“You’re not the one tied naked to the bed and covered in trifle.”
“Do you want a bottle or something?” Sirius asked. “Er… you know… to piss in…”
“I want to be untied so I can go to the bloody bathroom,” Remus replied. “You are so going to pay for this later.”
Sirius grimaced. “It’s not like I did this on purpose.”
“You wished for exactly this,” Remus reminded him.
“Not this exactly,” Sirius said. “In my fantasy you enjoyed being…”
“At your mercy?” Remus supplied.
“Yeah,” Sirius whispered. “My wish involved you actually liking this… wanting this…”
Remus sighed. “I’m not saying I’m totally opposed to the idea. It’s not like I don’t…”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“You mean it?”
“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Remus complained.
“You fancy me, too?” Sirius asked hopefully.
“Of course I bloody do,” Remus muttered.
Sirius grinned. “And you like the idea of being at my mercy?”
Remus grinned back. “Not as much as I like the idea of you being at mine,” he admitted.
“Maybe that’s why the wish isn’t over,” Sirius suggested. “Maybe what I’m wishing for is something that can’t be granted by magic.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wished to have you enjoying being at my mercy, but you aren’t enjoying this at all, are you?”
“Hardly,” Remus muttered.
Sirius gave a small smile. “I think that maybe as soon as you start enjoying it, the wish will be granted and you’ll be free.”
“You’re asking an awful lot,” Remus replied with a smile of his own.
“Not that much,” Sirius said as he leaned over Remus, his lips hovering over Remus’s mouth. “Would you enjoy it if I kissed you?” he whispered.
Remus blinked up at him and gave a small nod.
Sirius didn’t wait any longer. He pressed their lips together, determined that Remus should enjoy their first kiss.
He knew the spell was broken when he felt Remus’s arms tightening round his neck and he deepened the kiss in response.
He pulled back and grinned down at Remus. “You’ve got five minutes before I want you back in this bed,” he said as he nudged Remus towards the bathroom.
Remus grinned back at him as he hobbled for the door. “And you’ve got five minutes to get all the dog biscuits out of the bed.” He looked at the mess of crushed biscuits and spilt trifle. “On second thoughts, we’ll use my bed.”
“Don’t shower,” Sirius warned him, licking his lips in anticipation.
Remus chuckled as he closed the door behind him.
He knew he should be plotting revenge for what Sirius had put him through, but Remus was the sort of person who did read the footnotes of books, and he knew that wish spells came alongside a run of bad luck. He knew that Sirius was going to have a tough time for a while yet, and Remus being as much of a marauder as any of the team, was going to enjoy Sirius’s discomfort, even as he tried to keep him from getting into too much trouble.
Trouble like trashing beds, he mused having walked back into the dormitory, prompting Sirius to turn in his direction, trip in the trailing bed curtains and fall crashing to the floor, pulling the curtains down with him in a tangled heap.
Remus chuckled for only a moment, until he realised that Sirius was not emerging from the curtains, having knocked himself unconscious once more.
Remus knelt down on the floor and pulled the curtains aside. Sirius opened his eyes and groaned. “You’re going to be hazardous to my health,” he muttered as Remus helped him into a sitting position.
“I could say the same about you,” Remus pointed out cheerfully. “So, what are you going to wish for now?”
Sirius shook his head. “No more wishes for me,” he declared.
“Then how about I make one?” Remus suggested.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
Remus smiled as he knelt down in front of Sirius. “I think we’ll be safe enough with this one.”
“Which one?” Sirius whispered as Remus drew closer.
“If I tell, it won’t come true,” Remus whispered back, and he pressed their lips together for a second time.
Sirius thought he could probably live with that and he kissed Remus back.