First post of the new year
Ok, so... here I am... Janurary 2, 2007. That just seems weird to type. 2007. Yeah... weird.
Anyway... what should I post? I don't know, but as I start typing I'll go ahead and say it might turn into a bit of a rant as a get things out. So... I'll put in a cut to save those who don't wish to read it...
This past year has been both great and evil. I realized that in late feburary early march everything in my life pretty much stopped. I stopped going to classes, I wasn't working, and I really didn't have a life. I stopped talking to friends online as much. And all I did was lay around the house. I don't know if it was depression or what, but I'm still having a hard time with making myself do pretty much anything.
I still work at the Shakespeare Tavern almost every Thursday night. And play poker almost every Tuesday. I really think these two things just might be my saving grace. I mean, if I didn't actually have a reason to regularly get out of the house, I might not get out at all.
There have been days when I haven't wanted to go to Tavern and work but the thought of people relying on me keeps me going. But I'll admit, when I'm called with the option of staying home because I'm not needed I'm actually happy about it more often than not. But no matter how mad or sad I am when I get to the parking lot at Tavern, by the time the show starts I've got a smile on my face. I could be crying on my way downtown and I'd still be seriously happy by the start of the show. I love this place and the people that work there. I wish I had a way to show them how much they mean to me.
Poker... I know, gambling... but it's really not so much about the cards as going and seeing friends on a weekly basis and getting to talk to people. But even then, I had a hard time over the last month or so because I was playing really badly and had to force myself to go back a couple of weeks. Hopefully that's behind me now.
Kitty... I love Kitty, she's my best friend. I'd do anything for her and I love spending time with her. And as dysfunctional as her house is, it's normally a nice break from my house. I've had moment of being really pissed off at her, but I think it was more me just being mad than really being mad at her. And the good thoughts of hanging out with her greatly out number my random outbursts of anger. Really, I don't know what I'd do without her as a friend.
Andrew... What to say about Andrew... He's crazy. But he's one of the sweetest guy's I've ever met. I don't really hang out with him by myself much. It's more when he's hanging with Kitty and so am I, but still... he's good at keeping a smile on my face too. I care about him. And as much as I'd like him in more than just the way of being a friend, I really value his friendship and wouldn't want to harm it for anything.
Even the Lost Boys have started started feeling like more of a chore than a privlage. I've seen so many of their shows, and they make me smile. But it's gotten to where I've had to force myself to get up and go to their shows.
I was going to write a paragraph about my mom but it turned into too big of a rant, so I'll post it by itself.
I don't know... maybe this year will be better. I'll be very disturbed if it gets much worse. So, here's to a good 2007.
Happy New Year everyone!
Anyway... what should I post? I don't know, but as I start typing I'll go ahead and say it might turn into a bit of a rant as a get things out. So... I'll put in a cut to save those who don't wish to read it...
This past year has been both great and evil. I realized that in late feburary early march everything in my life pretty much stopped. I stopped going to classes, I wasn't working, and I really didn't have a life. I stopped talking to friends online as much. And all I did was lay around the house. I don't know if it was depression or what, but I'm still having a hard time with making myself do pretty much anything.
I still work at the Shakespeare Tavern almost every Thursday night. And play poker almost every Tuesday. I really think these two things just might be my saving grace. I mean, if I didn't actually have a reason to regularly get out of the house, I might not get out at all.
There have been days when I haven't wanted to go to Tavern and work but the thought of people relying on me keeps me going. But I'll admit, when I'm called with the option of staying home because I'm not needed I'm actually happy about it more often than not. But no matter how mad or sad I am when I get to the parking lot at Tavern, by the time the show starts I've got a smile on my face. I could be crying on my way downtown and I'd still be seriously happy by the start of the show. I love this place and the people that work there. I wish I had a way to show them how much they mean to me.
Poker... I know, gambling... but it's really not so much about the cards as going and seeing friends on a weekly basis and getting to talk to people. But even then, I had a hard time over the last month or so because I was playing really badly and had to force myself to go back a couple of weeks. Hopefully that's behind me now.
Kitty... I love Kitty, she's my best friend. I'd do anything for her and I love spending time with her. And as dysfunctional as her house is, it's normally a nice break from my house. I've had moment of being really pissed off at her, but I think it was more me just being mad than really being mad at her. And the good thoughts of hanging out with her greatly out number my random outbursts of anger. Really, I don't know what I'd do without her as a friend.
Andrew... What to say about Andrew... He's crazy. But he's one of the sweetest guy's I've ever met. I don't really hang out with him by myself much. It's more when he's hanging with Kitty and so am I, but still... he's good at keeping a smile on my face too. I care about him. And as much as I'd like him in more than just the way of being a friend, I really value his friendship and wouldn't want to harm it for anything.
Even the Lost Boys have started started feeling like more of a chore than a privlage. I've seen so many of their shows, and they make me smile. But it's gotten to where I've had to force myself to get up and go to their shows.
I was going to write a paragraph about my mom but it turned into too big of a rant, so I'll post it by itself.
I don't know... maybe this year will be better. I'll be very disturbed if it gets much worse. So, here's to a good 2007.
Happy New Year everyone!