First Entry: The Stargate Sg-1 Fanfic Series: Title n/a at the moment

[fun_fancy_free]

Title: (n/a at the moment)
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Rating:  PG (for minor content)
Word Count: (n/a at the moment)
Summary: Who knows what happens when a bunch of aliens kidnap Jack? 
Notes: This is the rough draft. The good copying is in the process of being edited by fenellaevangela!

"Daniel! Please don't go down there! They'll capture you as well!!"

Comments

[xyralla]

hey sweetie! started reading and its awesome :D I'll make a proper reply when I'm not so dopey tired though :p

[fun_fancy_free]

Haha. It really needs more detail. And I'm tired and have been in a mental breakdown since Wednesday after school. Scary. I must talk to my dad about getting "depression help".

[xyralla]

okies I read it.
I think that you could have longer more deailed sentences. Like short sentences, create suspense. Which is good. For some parts. :p but more detail would be good. Also some spelling/grammer errors like whole or hole :p
*huggles* I hope your feeling better now sweetie.
PS. I do like it so :p

[fun_fancy_free]

Okay.. it just says deailed. And I hadn't seen the sentences part and went back to try and understand it.. so I was like, "have more derailed sentences". I was like, "WHOOPS!"
And yes... Lyndsey has pointed those mistakes out.. aha. First time actually writing a real story, so I give myself credit for maiking mistakes.