to teach or not to teach?
so i've been teaching art to kids for about an hour once a week in the afternoons. its in a specific program with a very organized teaching style. it seems to work pretty well, it breaks up the lesson into timed chunks and the kids usually go home with a drawing they like.
BUT idk if this is something i really want to keep doing.
because its in the afternoons on weekdays, i really cant do a full shift at work on that day so they keep giving me the day i teach as one of my days off, which is convienent, but i also kind of dont like technically working 6 days a week?
that and, i'm not very good at keeping the class under control. i mean most of them go home with a drawing and nothing gets broken, but they make a mess and talk loudly the whole time they yell out of turn and get out of their seats for no good reason. idk i get the feeling im not that great of a teacher.
also i'm not sure i actually LIKE to teach, but its hard to tell
see, they give you a set of projects ahead of time and that way you can prepare and you know what you're going to draw each week. but this semester it got all out of order and i had to teach two different drawings completly on the fly, one of which i hadn't even seen before. so that was stressful and i think that translated into my teaching style.
but im not ready to give up on it yet, i want to give it another chance, im hoping sticking tot eh schedule will help and also the more times i teach the better i'll get at it? or at least the more comfortable i will become in a room full of kids.
the bigger question is how to proceed. do i want to just go ahead and sign up for the next 5 week semester, and hope by the end of teaching it i have a clearer idea? the only reason for not doing that is, well, last winter i was overworked and i was working 6 days a week and it got me into a real stressed blue funk. i don't want to repeat that. i'm already dreading todays lesson, because it's watercolor and its going to be chaotic and MESSY and OMG. anyways. my other options are telling them i want a semester break to think about it and then try again after a month or so, or just telling them to think of me for specific events and maybe summer camp. that way im not completely writing off teaching, but i dont have a consistent commitment i have to keep. idk
i can't decide, but i should figure it out soon because im sure once this last class is over with we will be having a follow-up meeting and they'll want to know what i thought of teaching and i want to have a decision ready.
idk iv been basically going through a process-of-elimination game with myself and future career paths. i did the internship with the gallery in philly, which told me i dont want to be a glorified secretary and salesperson trying to convince people to buy high priced stuff to collect dust. i worked at the frame shop which told me i like manual labor, but the PEOPLE who make up a work place makes all the difference. madewell again told me i don't want to work in sales, and i took a floral design class which told me that its fun, but i think only really a hobby for me. and now teaching art....the good news is i do like my job at goodwill, for whatever thats worth. i don't think being a store manager is my ultimate career path either, they work well over 40 hours a week and im not interested in that unless it was actually making art all day. SO WHO KNOWS
i'll figure it out eventually.
okay...time to go make a watercolor painting.
adios
<3