No Longer Trainees (Part 4 of 1st Performance)
Title:No Longer Trainees (1st Performance)
Author: funni_jes
Pairing: Eunhae, mention of other members
Rating: PG-ish, some bad language
Genre: Fluff-ish, humor, angst-ie
Chapters: 4/4
Summary:Donghae saw his Hyukkie’s signature smile and then he caught Hyukkie's eyes and both looked at each other and thought,
"Why can't I have that with him"
A/N: Finally I finished it...sorry sorry it took me soooo long. well read and comment. Sorry again for the lateness!
(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)
The next day the whole dorm was engulfed in a strange, cold, and silent atmosphere. No one said or looked at each other. At practice things were just as awkward. Though everyone had to admit it was one of their better practices as everyone was trying to hide their uncomfortableness by throwing themselves into their chorography.
Things got a little dicey when Kang-in and Teukie were in the same side for a piece of the number but to everyone’s surprise neither exploded with rage or tears at the other for being so close to the other.
Teukie was also taking this chance to be more leader-ish. He told them what to do and even tried to help, but he was just talking out of his ass, anyone could see that. But all the members allowed him to do so, he was emotional from the break up, though he was testing their patience.
As the day went on though things didn't seem to get any better, at least not with Teukie and Kang-in. All the members thought that by the end of the day the older man would have come to his senses and would have apologized to his boyfriend. But that didn't happen. And Kang-in looked more and more solemn.
Everyone, including Kang-in, thought that maybe after their debut Teukie would see the errors of his way and get back with Kang-in. They were great together and them being apart now seemed wrong on so many different levels.
The whole team was off. Teukie was off, though he wouldn't admit it, everyone needed their Umma and Appa back together, especially Eunhyuk.
He had gotten it through his head that he and Donghae could make it but only if Teukie and Kang-in could too.
Now with them apart so many more doubts ran through Eunhyuk's mind. On the other hand Donghae was hopeful. Donghae knew that even if Teukie and Kang-in didn't work out that didn't mean that if he and Hyukkie got together they wouldn't make it.
--
Hyukkie lay in his bed unable to sleep. It was the morning of their very first performance but that wasn't the only reason why he was up nervously, his mind was full of Donghae. The tension was thick when he stepped out of his room. Everyone was so quiet, you'd never 12 teenage boys lived in the apartment. Everyone was busy doing last minute things, going over steps or lyrics, checking their watches. In a few hours time they would no longer be trainees but full fledged artists. In a few hours they would perform and finally be exposed for the whole world to see and for the whole world to do as they please with them, love them or hate them.
The morning and afternoon went by quickly in blur and soon they were backstage at their debut venue. Because they were new and because their were so many of them they had to resort to getting dressed in the hallway, sure it was embarrassing how they would have to move aside every time someone walked by but it gave each member more determination to do well so that next time they wouldn't be pushed into a corner and get a proper dressing room.
After getting dressed and made up they were soon told that they were to go on deck, and to be on stand by because they would be performing in five minutes. Everyone's heart started racing like crazy, this was it, the next four minutes were why they had worked so long and so hard for.
Eunhyuk looked around and everyone had different reactions. Some looked like they were going to pass out, others looked like they were going to throw up and others stayed quiet, probably silently praying. Eunhyuk looked around and finally spotted who he was looking for, he saw Donghae and he looked like he was going to throw up, pass out and like he was mumbling a prayer all at once. He smiled at that and reminded himself how important it was to do well today. Especially since it looked like Donghae and some of the other members may have some trouble out on stage, he told himself he'd have to pick up the slack and dance well enough for all of them.
And before he knew it they were gathering in a circle and Teukie was talking, probably a pep-talk but Hyukkie didn't hear a word of it. Donghae was across from him and his hand was on top of his own. All he could think was how he was going to make the others proud.
"Ok you guys are on" said a PD and they all yelled and rushed out on stage.
--
Applause could be heard for the members of Super Junior as they finished their song and walked back stage. As Eunhyuk stepped off stage he breathed heavily, part was due to the song and choreography and part to the fact that they had just performed, debuted to the world. As he tried to catch his breathe he looked over at Donghae, he felt like he had waited his whole life for those four minutes and now that it was over all sorts of feelings over came him. Tears flowed out of his eyes rapidly, he stopped to cover his mouth with his hand so his sobs could be muffled. The other members kept walking all hugging and crying going to their designated hallway not noticing that he wasn't with them anymore, but Hyukkie didn't mind he wanted this time alone, to compose himself, so he thought until he heard a familiar voice. Hyukkie didn't need to look up to know Hae was there.
Donghae watched as the older boys tears kept flowing and couldn't help himself. He quickly closed the gap between them and held onto Hyukkie like his life depended on it. He wanted to comfort the boy, he knew more than any other member he had been waiting for this day, his dreams had finally come true and he was happy for him. Donghae then wished he could comfort him more and not just as a friend.
Hyukkie looked up to see the same love he felt in their embrace mirrored in Donghae's eyes. Hyukkie started to feel the same feelings again, the feeling that he had been waiting his whole life for this as he drew closer to Donghae, Hyukkie looked into Donghae's eyes again and closed gap between their faces.
Donghae looked at Hyukkie, he had stopped crying and was looking at him, and he couldn’t help but stare back because his look was not letting him look away. He saw him draw closer and knew Hyukkie was going to kiss him. Donghae stayed very still hoping he wasn't dreaming. Hyukkie was so close to him now, Hae could see every detail of the gorgeous dancers face. He could see the tears that still clung to his long lashes, and the tint of pink that surrounded Hyukkie's cheeks beautifully. Donghae soon closed his eyes and waited for their lips to meet.
Both boys jumped back when they felt something buzzing.
Hyukjae sighed heavily with a shaky breathe and stepped away from Donghae.
"Sorry" said Hyukjae and Donghae looked at him confused, was he sorry because they almost kissed or because they were interpreted by the call Hyukkie was taking.
"Hello...Junsu" said Hyukjae as he averted Donghae's gaze. "Yea...thanks," said Hyukjae as his eyes started to water again.
"Donghae, Eunhyuk, there you are, we're all waiting for you" said the manager as he motioned for them to follow him. "Common"
Donghae looked at Hyukkie and saw him turn his back to him and continued to talk on his phone. Donghae sighed and said, "Sorry". He wasn't sure why he said it but he felt like he had to.
"Eunhyuk hurry with your call and join us" said the manager before he and Donghae left.
Eunhyuk nodded and went back to his call.
"Ya~ are you listening!" said Junsu
"Yea, thanks for calling" said Eunhyuk vaguely
"Ya~ are you still crying, are you ok?" asked Junsu
"I think I messed up...everything’s changed now" said Hyukkie as he looked to where Donghae was standing a minute ago.
"What are you talking about?" asked Junsu
"Nothing I gotta go" and he hung up and rejoined his members.
'Donghae's probably disgusted with me' thought Eunhyuk as entered the hallway and was engulfed in hugs from members and staffs congratulating him.
Eunhyuk looked over to Donghae and saw that the younger boy was avoiding his eyes. Eunhyuk concluded that Donghae now hated him.
'My mind must have been playing tricks on me earlier' thought Eunhyuk, 'Hae probably just trying to comfort me because he's my best friend and the look in his eyes... that was probably just brotherly, best friend love, ugh, what have I done' thought Eunhyuk as he wanted to scream and kick himself in the butt.
He just hoped that if Donghae didn’t feel the same way he did they could at least put this behind them and go back to being friends or at least bandmates.
As the rest of the night followed the celebration continued to their apartment.
It was so awkward. Hyukkie smiled at himself, it was a good thing they weren't together things would have been too complicated if they really had kissed. How would they sing and dance and be in the public eye if they were really together. He kept lying, trying to convince himself that it was all for the best, while their feelings were still new and they could learn to forget those feelings.
"Hyukkie, stop crying already, this is suppose to be a happy day" said Sungmin as he hugged him.
"I am happy" he said as he wiped away tears he didn't realize had escaped his eyes.
Donghae looked over and saw Sungmin hug his Hyukkie, and saw his Hyukkie smiling at him. Donghae watched them and frowned.
Now that he thought about it, 'Why is he avoiding me again?' thought Donghae as he continued to watch his Hyukkie and Sungmin as they had a nice, cozy conversation. "Just when I thought everything was good again. Does he regret that we almost kissed, was the only reason he almost kissed me because of all the emotions overwhelmed him and because he was acting in the moment...is he glad that we didn't.' Donghae sighed and a dozen more questions raced through his mind.
Donghae thought about the last couple of days. The way Hyukkie ignored him after the photo shoot and then when he found out how hard he was pushing himself just so that they could do well as a group and stay together. That was the turning point for Donghae and he had thought that he and his Hyukkie were finally on the same page. Of course Hyukkie hadn't said anything out loud but Donghae thought he knew his Hyukkie well enough that he thought that he might have felt the same way too. Donghae had to laugh at how things turned out tonight, he looked around the room again and saw all of his members celebrating, and he wasn't all that surprised to see Teukie and Kang-in looking like they did a week ago, happy and disgusting on the couch.
He smiled at them and he was happy they were together again, he knew they couldn't stay away from each other. As he looked around the room again he looked over to a now lone Hyukkie who was also looking at the newly reunited couple. Donghae saw his Hyukkie’s signature smile and then he caught Hyukkie's eyes and both looked at each other and thought,
"Why can't I have that with him"
And they both looked away from each other and started chatting and celebrating with the other members, trying to be happy that they just debuted and were now artist, together.
Author: funni_jes
Pairing: Eunhae, mention of other members
Rating: PG-ish, some bad language
Genre: Fluff-ish, humor, angst-ie
Chapters: 4/4
Summary:Donghae saw his Hyukkie’s signature smile and then he caught Hyukkie's eyes and both looked at each other and thought,
"Why can't I have that with him"
A/N: Finally I finished it...sorry sorry it took me soooo long. well read and comment. Sorry again for the lateness!
(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)
The next day the whole dorm was engulfed in a strange, cold, and silent atmosphere. No one said or looked at each other. At practice things were just as awkward. Though everyone had to admit it was one of their better practices as everyone was trying to hide their uncomfortableness by throwing themselves into their chorography.
Things got a little dicey when Kang-in and Teukie were in the same side for a piece of the number but to everyone’s surprise neither exploded with rage or tears at the other for being so close to the other.
Teukie was also taking this chance to be more leader-ish. He told them what to do and even tried to help, but he was just talking out of his ass, anyone could see that. But all the members allowed him to do so, he was emotional from the break up, though he was testing their patience.
As the day went on though things didn't seem to get any better, at least not with Teukie and Kang-in. All the members thought that by the end of the day the older man would have come to his senses and would have apologized to his boyfriend. But that didn't happen. And Kang-in looked more and more solemn.
Everyone, including Kang-in, thought that maybe after their debut Teukie would see the errors of his way and get back with Kang-in. They were great together and them being apart now seemed wrong on so many different levels.
The whole team was off. Teukie was off, though he wouldn't admit it, everyone needed their Umma and Appa back together, especially Eunhyuk.
He had gotten it through his head that he and Donghae could make it but only if Teukie and Kang-in could too.
Now with them apart so many more doubts ran through Eunhyuk's mind. On the other hand Donghae was hopeful. Donghae knew that even if Teukie and Kang-in didn't work out that didn't mean that if he and Hyukkie got together they wouldn't make it.
--
Hyukkie lay in his bed unable to sleep. It was the morning of their very first performance but that wasn't the only reason why he was up nervously, his mind was full of Donghae. The tension was thick when he stepped out of his room. Everyone was so quiet, you'd never 12 teenage boys lived in the apartment. Everyone was busy doing last minute things, going over steps or lyrics, checking their watches. In a few hours time they would no longer be trainees but full fledged artists. In a few hours they would perform and finally be exposed for the whole world to see and for the whole world to do as they please with them, love them or hate them.
The morning and afternoon went by quickly in blur and soon they were backstage at their debut venue. Because they were new and because their were so many of them they had to resort to getting dressed in the hallway, sure it was embarrassing how they would have to move aside every time someone walked by but it gave each member more determination to do well so that next time they wouldn't be pushed into a corner and get a proper dressing room.
After getting dressed and made up they were soon told that they were to go on deck, and to be on stand by because they would be performing in five minutes. Everyone's heart started racing like crazy, this was it, the next four minutes were why they had worked so long and so hard for.
Eunhyuk looked around and everyone had different reactions. Some looked like they were going to pass out, others looked like they were going to throw up and others stayed quiet, probably silently praying. Eunhyuk looked around and finally spotted who he was looking for, he saw Donghae and he looked like he was going to throw up, pass out and like he was mumbling a prayer all at once. He smiled at that and reminded himself how important it was to do well today. Especially since it looked like Donghae and some of the other members may have some trouble out on stage, he told himself he'd have to pick up the slack and dance well enough for all of them.
And before he knew it they were gathering in a circle and Teukie was talking, probably a pep-talk but Hyukkie didn't hear a word of it. Donghae was across from him and his hand was on top of his own. All he could think was how he was going to make the others proud.
"Ok you guys are on" said a PD and they all yelled and rushed out on stage.
--
Applause could be heard for the members of Super Junior as they finished their song and walked back stage. As Eunhyuk stepped off stage he breathed heavily, part was due to the song and choreography and part to the fact that they had just performed, debuted to the world. As he tried to catch his breathe he looked over at Donghae, he felt like he had waited his whole life for those four minutes and now that it was over all sorts of feelings over came him. Tears flowed out of his eyes rapidly, he stopped to cover his mouth with his hand so his sobs could be muffled. The other members kept walking all hugging and crying going to their designated hallway not noticing that he wasn't with them anymore, but Hyukkie didn't mind he wanted this time alone, to compose himself, so he thought until he heard a familiar voice. Hyukkie didn't need to look up to know Hae was there.
Donghae watched as the older boys tears kept flowing and couldn't help himself. He quickly closed the gap between them and held onto Hyukkie like his life depended on it. He wanted to comfort the boy, he knew more than any other member he had been waiting for this day, his dreams had finally come true and he was happy for him. Donghae then wished he could comfort him more and not just as a friend.
Hyukkie looked up to see the same love he felt in their embrace mirrored in Donghae's eyes. Hyukkie started to feel the same feelings again, the feeling that he had been waiting his whole life for this as he drew closer to Donghae, Hyukkie looked into Donghae's eyes again and closed gap between their faces.
Donghae looked at Hyukkie, he had stopped crying and was looking at him, and he couldn’t help but stare back because his look was not letting him look away. He saw him draw closer and knew Hyukkie was going to kiss him. Donghae stayed very still hoping he wasn't dreaming. Hyukkie was so close to him now, Hae could see every detail of the gorgeous dancers face. He could see the tears that still clung to his long lashes, and the tint of pink that surrounded Hyukkie's cheeks beautifully. Donghae soon closed his eyes and waited for their lips to meet.
Both boys jumped back when they felt something buzzing.
Hyukjae sighed heavily with a shaky breathe and stepped away from Donghae.
"Sorry" said Hyukjae and Donghae looked at him confused, was he sorry because they almost kissed or because they were interpreted by the call Hyukkie was taking.
"Hello...Junsu" said Hyukjae as he averted Donghae's gaze. "Yea...thanks," said Hyukjae as his eyes started to water again.
"Donghae, Eunhyuk, there you are, we're all waiting for you" said the manager as he motioned for them to follow him. "Common"
Donghae looked at Hyukkie and saw him turn his back to him and continued to talk on his phone. Donghae sighed and said, "Sorry". He wasn't sure why he said it but he felt like he had to.
"Eunhyuk hurry with your call and join us" said the manager before he and Donghae left.
Eunhyuk nodded and went back to his call.
"Ya~ are you listening!" said Junsu
"Yea, thanks for calling" said Eunhyuk vaguely
"Ya~ are you still crying, are you ok?" asked Junsu
"I think I messed up...everything’s changed now" said Hyukkie as he looked to where Donghae was standing a minute ago.
"What are you talking about?" asked Junsu
"Nothing I gotta go" and he hung up and rejoined his members.
'Donghae's probably disgusted with me' thought Eunhyuk as entered the hallway and was engulfed in hugs from members and staffs congratulating him.
Eunhyuk looked over to Donghae and saw that the younger boy was avoiding his eyes. Eunhyuk concluded that Donghae now hated him.
'My mind must have been playing tricks on me earlier' thought Eunhyuk, 'Hae probably just trying to comfort me because he's my best friend and the look in his eyes... that was probably just brotherly, best friend love, ugh, what have I done' thought Eunhyuk as he wanted to scream and kick himself in the butt.
He just hoped that if Donghae didn’t feel the same way he did they could at least put this behind them and go back to being friends or at least bandmates.
As the rest of the night followed the celebration continued to their apartment.
It was so awkward. Hyukkie smiled at himself, it was a good thing they weren't together things would have been too complicated if they really had kissed. How would they sing and dance and be in the public eye if they were really together. He kept lying, trying to convince himself that it was all for the best, while their feelings were still new and they could learn to forget those feelings.
"Hyukkie, stop crying already, this is suppose to be a happy day" said Sungmin as he hugged him.
"I am happy" he said as he wiped away tears he didn't realize had escaped his eyes.
Donghae looked over and saw Sungmin hug his Hyukkie, and saw his Hyukkie smiling at him. Donghae watched them and frowned.
Now that he thought about it, 'Why is he avoiding me again?' thought Donghae as he continued to watch his Hyukkie and Sungmin as they had a nice, cozy conversation. "Just when I thought everything was good again. Does he regret that we almost kissed, was the only reason he almost kissed me because of all the emotions overwhelmed him and because he was acting in the moment...is he glad that we didn't.' Donghae sighed and a dozen more questions raced through his mind.
Donghae thought about the last couple of days. The way Hyukkie ignored him after the photo shoot and then when he found out how hard he was pushing himself just so that they could do well as a group and stay together. That was the turning point for Donghae and he had thought that he and his Hyukkie were finally on the same page. Of course Hyukkie hadn't said anything out loud but Donghae thought he knew his Hyukkie well enough that he thought that he might have felt the same way too. Donghae had to laugh at how things turned out tonight, he looked around the room again and saw all of his members celebrating, and he wasn't all that surprised to see Teukie and Kang-in looking like they did a week ago, happy and disgusting on the couch.
He smiled at them and he was happy they were together again, he knew they couldn't stay away from each other. As he looked around the room again he looked over to a now lone Hyukkie who was also looking at the newly reunited couple. Donghae saw his Hyukkie’s signature smile and then he caught Hyukkie's eyes and both looked at each other and thought,
"Why can't I have that with him"
And they both looked away from each other and started chatting and celebrating with the other members, trying to be happy that they just debuted and were now artist, together.