Some things don't need purposes...
I can't help feel like I'm losing this downhill battle with my family.
Mostly it's to do with the artistic side of my life (since that's the side on which I spend most of my time).
'>First, it used to be my parents complaining about how I don't study enough. And then when I studied enough, it was about how much time I spent on my drawing instead of my family. And when I spent more time, it became how much money I spent on my art. And then I spent less and so on so forth...
And suddenly we wind down to me deciding that, instead of sitting on my ass all day and rotting when I didn't have anything to draw, I'd finally realize my dream and become a cosplayer.
But now my family can't help but complain about that too. Especially since I don't work, frankly, and my parents won't let me get a job and haven't let me get a job for the past three years of my life. Now, I'm unfortunately completely dependent on my parents for everything I need for my leisure...
Well, that's not the thing that makes me feel like I just want to drop everything and run.
I just can't stand when my parents make fun of me for cosplaying. When I was on the way home with my two friends from ALA, all I heard the entire way was how stupid or ridiculous I looked. Sure, I admit that I'm not the most perfect cosplayer. I'm in no way 'stunning' or someone that makes people want to take pictures, but I know enough to know how it feels like to work hard on something that's loved.
And so, it really makes me wonder why I'm still doing this if my parents hate it so much. If I haven't their support, then what exactly can I do?
But what's even worse is that my parents like to brag about my whole 'sewing' passion to their family just to show that their daughter has some kind of 'talent'. Sometimes I wish I never did any of the extra stuff just so that my parents would stop talking about me to the rest of their family, but, in all honesty, that wouldn't have worked either.
Anyway, I suppose I'm rambling right now...
But at this point, I'm confused as to what I want to do with this whole cosplaying mess...
As much as I love making costumes...the emotional payout...is looking less and less rewarding. And this is especially sad since I've only really been cosplaying for six months!!!
I thought that I could pursue a passion and perhaps make something cool out of myself, but how can there be any development if there's no emotional or morale support coming from the family...?
Mostly it's to do with the artistic side of my life (since that's the side on which I spend most of my time).
'>First, it used to be my parents complaining about how I don't study enough. And then when I studied enough, it was about how much time I spent on my drawing instead of my family. And when I spent more time, it became how much money I spent on my art. And then I spent less and so on so forth...
And suddenly we wind down to me deciding that, instead of sitting on my ass all day and rotting when I didn't have anything to draw, I'd finally realize my dream and become a cosplayer.
But now my family can't help but complain about that too. Especially since I don't work, frankly, and my parents won't let me get a job and haven't let me get a job for the past three years of my life. Now, I'm unfortunately completely dependent on my parents for everything I need for my leisure...
Well, that's not the thing that makes me feel like I just want to drop everything and run.
I just can't stand when my parents make fun of me for cosplaying. When I was on the way home with my two friends from ALA, all I heard the entire way was how stupid or ridiculous I looked. Sure, I admit that I'm not the most perfect cosplayer. I'm in no way 'stunning' or someone that makes people want to take pictures, but I know enough to know how it feels like to work hard on something that's loved.
And so, it really makes me wonder why I'm still doing this if my parents hate it so much. If I haven't their support, then what exactly can I do?
But what's even worse is that my parents like to brag about my whole 'sewing' passion to their family just to show that their daughter has some kind of 'talent'. Sometimes I wish I never did any of the extra stuff just so that my parents would stop talking about me to the rest of their family, but, in all honesty, that wouldn't have worked either.
Anyway, I suppose I'm rambling right now...
But at this point, I'm confused as to what I want to do with this whole cosplaying mess...
As much as I love making costumes...the emotional payout...is looking less and less rewarding. And this is especially sad since I've only really been cosplaying for six months!!!
I thought that I could pursue a passion and perhaps make something cool out of myself, but how can there be any development if there's no emotional or morale support coming from the family...?