LJ Idol writing prompt: Lalochezia

[furzicle]

“Whoa, what is that racket?!” My ten-year-old brother Leslie looked over at me with blue eyes as big as shooter marbles. We were catching what feeble, fresh breeze we could out on the rickety porch that girded Grampa’s old house. Suddenly, the summer silence was split by a cacophony of squawking poultry

Comments

[banana_galaxy]

I'm happy with how everything turned out! Worrying about threats against loved ones seems to be one of the most horrible things someone can experience.

[furzicle]

Indeed! Thanks for following my adventures.

[roina_arwen]

This was fun! Two tiny things: I guess I don’t see “damn” as taking the lord’s name in vain? If Jesse had said “God damn,” then yes.

Secondly, if you were to edit the last line from “I’ve never heard such extreme language,” to “… such foul language,” it would be more amusing, since this is about fowl, lol.

But I really liked it either way!

[furzicle]

Foul language: GENIUS!!!

Yes, you're right about damn. I did calculate that ol' Gramps is a pretty strict judge of these things. ;)

[furzicle]

I very thankfully (and shamelessly) took your advice. I also gave you a shout-out in a postscript.

[roina_arwen]

I saw! Thanks so much! ❤️

[beautyofgrey]

I'm glad Lillie was unhurt! I love the characters here, especially Grampa's "gentle" swears. It reminded me of my grandpa, and is definitely evocative of life on a farm!

[furzicle]

Don't we all rely on people we know or have known to build our characters? I actually have a male cousin named Leslie. As kids, we loved hanging out with him and his two siblings. They were definitely cut of the same cloth as the other people in this story, that is, rural, sincere, and good-hearted.

[drippedonpaper]

I admit, I was amused that they ended up eating "Chicken and dumplings." LOL.

This rang true. My son tends to think swearing is "manly," so we've had many discussions about how bad language does NOT make you a man. I wish he would listen.

I'm so glad Lillie was ok!

Great story, you really had me caring about the characters and how it all turns out.

[furzicle]

My parents didn't swear, at least not after we, their four children, were born. One of my brothers talks of climbing thirty-plus feet up in our very tall sycamore tree and practicing saying bad words. As we lived on a hill over the San Diego Freeway, it was always pretty loud outside and he could be assured that no one at home could hear his foul language.

[engarian]

I can totally see this happening. Very well done.

- Erulisse (one L)

[furzicle]

I started out with the question, "What happens when a person is just not a curser?" Grampa then sprang to life.