Forsaking my better half
"Boredom is the sickness until Death"
I've been working this eBay sales position for a few months now, and I'm not really caring for it much. In many respects, it feels just like school again: Watching the clock, trapped in a feeling of panicked desperation that there are still X hours left in the day; screwing around to burn time cuz I don't really know what I'm doing, each phone call instilling the same terror of a teacher calling on you, cuz they're about to find you out.
Partially, I'm starting to realize that this job really doesn't pay well enough. I know of other jobs with just as much "waste time" that pay better.
And I have no desire to "work harder to earn better" either for that matter.
Sometimes I feel like I am beating my head against brick windows. I get this sense of being "inside" all the time. A persistent claustrophobia.
Maybe if I didn't approach structuring my life in my own terms in such a half-assed way, it would actually be successful for once.
I think it is very important that I take my wants more seriously - or rather, more passionately.
I am not a passionate man. I think that is my sickness until Death.
I've been working this eBay sales position for a few months now, and I'm not really caring for it much. In many respects, it feels just like school again: Watching the clock, trapped in a feeling of panicked desperation that there are still X hours left in the day; screwing around to burn time cuz I don't really know what I'm doing, each phone call instilling the same terror of a teacher calling on you, cuz they're about to find you out.
Partially, I'm starting to realize that this job really doesn't pay well enough. I know of other jobs with just as much "waste time" that pay better.
And I have no desire to "work harder to earn better" either for that matter.
Sometimes I feel like I am beating my head against brick windows. I get this sense of being "inside" all the time. A persistent claustrophobia.
Maybe if I didn't approach structuring my life in my own terms in such a half-assed way, it would actually be successful for once.
I think it is very important that I take my wants more seriously - or rather, more passionately.
I am not a passionate man. I think that is my sickness until Death.