Song of Freedom. Part 3.
Title: Song of Freedom. 3/?
Author: sypherus_xiii
Pairing: HakyeonxTaekwoon
Rating: R. Language, violence and later sexual themes.
Summary: In a world bound by the tangles of war, Hakyeon searches for freedom. Post-apocalyptic AU.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.
Part 1. || Part 2.
A/N: Thank you for all of your encouraging comments! I updated quickly, probably because I'm trying to squeeze in as much as I can before the holiday. Enjoy!
When darkness falls and cloaks around,
Follow the white roots of the ground.
The sun sets, the dark sky closing in from the east. Hakyeon can't tear his gaze away from the back window, watching as the orange glow beneath a plane of smoke progressively grows smaller and smaller. When the truck's engine finally growls to a stop, everyone around him sets into motion, the doors opening wide while several bags are dragged out. He notices the boy who finally shared his name--Hyuk--is following them out, hopping onto the ground. In the next second he sees Ravi standing outside, staring right at Hakyeon who remains huddled against the cabin of the truck.
"We're camping here for the night. Come on out and get some food."
Trying to move his legs is a whole other story as he realizes they've grown numb from sitting there for half the day. Scooting over the metal floor, when he slips out of the truck his eyes are automatically drawn to the distant hues in the sky, like the faint flicker of a candle's flame. Gone. Chawon is gone. He wonders how many people are still there, fighting for their life, rounding up the last number of survivors. He should be there, too.
As they bring some of the boxes to use as seats, placing them into a circle around a small area, Ken starts the fire with the help of Ravi, the growing flames making the driver's blonde hair appear more golden. Watching the two of them argue over which food to cook makes him think this is a nightly ritual. Ken wins with his choice of beans and a nameless meat.
Letting himself focus on nothing but the people around him, he catches sight of Hongbin talking quietly to Hyuk. He sees the youth smile at something he says and Hakyeon has this tugging in his chest, the fact dawning on him that Hyuk is the only person with him now from his hometown.
Although they lived under different circumstances, only Hyuk would also know the rich wafts of fresh-baked bread as they made their way early in the morning to the factory or the blind woman who stood in the street all day offering to read anyone's future. But he also knew the struggles everyone in that city faced every day, doing anything they could to make it to another sunrise. It wasn't perfect, but it was still home.
Slowly exhaling, he accepts the tin bowl with a spoonful of beans and smoked pieces of the meat. "What is this?" he asks again, clarifying what he is about to put into his mouth.
"Rabbit," Ravi smiles over at him, eyebrows raising and Hakyeon knows he's about to watch him eat this. "Ever had it?"
Shaking his head, the grin on Ravi's lips widens and Hakyeon bites back his own smile. Pushing away his hesitance since his stomach chooses to clench in hunger at that moment, he takes the offered spoon and slowly scoops it through. The first bite is hot and he gasps, trying to breathe cooler air over his tongue, hearing a laugh travel from Ken's way.
When it's cooled a bit, he chews and lets the flavor wrap through his senses. It's also been a while since he's had beans. The texture is similar to the gruel he eats--ate for lunch, but there's a sweeter flavor that draws him to take another bite after blowing over the spoonful. The meat itself is a bit tough, but the taste isn't bad when he mixes it with the beans.
"How is it?" Blinking over, he sees Ken staring at him, the round eyes attentive as he waits for Hakyeon to respond.
"…Mm. Good. Thank you…" he drops his gaze back to the bowl, unable to rid himself of the heaviness that clings to his gut.
When he looks back up he sees Hyuk opening his mouth as Hongbin slowly feeds him. Apparently Hongbin's the medic in the group who takes care of their injuries or sudden illnesses. Yet it's still a heart-warming sight, to see this stranger taking care of someone who wouldn't even receive a second glance in the streets back in Chawon. Slaves were treated worse than the stray dogs that at least got the leftover scraps from the surrounding restaurants and stores. As they were property of the city, they never received wages and all stayed in the same residences in buildings always on the verge of falling apart.
Soon his gaze trails over to the camper, the back of the truck wide open as he sees the last figure sitting there, one leg hanging off the edge while he's holding a black object in his hand, studying it with a pensive look. Leo's dark hair is tied up and the sides that are visible show the wavy curls, a semblance of those regal characters Hakyeon's read about in books. Then he remembers Leo's gaze--intent and unwavering--and his voice--soft but commanding. Although he barely knows him, Hakyeon certainly can understand why he's the leader among them.
Suddenly a weight drops beside him on the box. "You're awfully quiet." Looking over, he sees Ken offering a smile. "Is it not good?"
"No, no, it is," Hakyeon quickly assures. To show it, he takes another big bite complete with the rabbit. It's hard to swallow, but it still earns him an arm around his shoulder as Ken squeezes him.
"Good. Rabbit's not easy to find or kill around here. They're just so cute I always feel bad." As Ken explains this, his lower lip pouts out and Hakyeon muses that the expression suits him.
"I've only seen them in illustrations," Hakyeon replies, knowing his city uses chicken and eggs as its main source of protein. Other wildlife is hard to find in a barren land. "What's that in his hand?" he asks Ken suddenly, his eyes returning to Leo who's fingering the black item.
"A compass," Ken answers, arm still around Hakyeon as he leans against him. "But it doesn't point north." Showing surprise he shifts his gaze to Ken, lips parting to inquire more but Ken's already beating him to the punch. "It points to this sea. Supposedly the sea has a lot of this…stuff…that the compass just points to." It's clear Ken doesn't exactly know the logistics behind it and Hakyeon hears himself chuckle. It's the first time he's been amused enough to respond in such a positive way.
"Does that mean you're following where the compass points to?" He figures now he should ask about--well, he's not sure. Is it his own future he's also inquiring about? Or are they going to just drop him off at the next city then continue on their own path?
Ken nods firmly. "Mhm. Leo believes it'll lead us to freedom."
That shifts Hakyeon's attention into confusion. Beneath the astray fringe of his hair, the crease between his eyebrows knit as he further asks, "Freedom? You guys aren't…free?" He's always considered himself free and they seem especially free roaming around in a truck like this traveling wherever they desire. Then again they could be refugees. All of these questions keep rising.
"None of us are. Including you," Ken whispers, his voice lowering like he's saying secretive words to fragile ears. Part of Hakyeon wants to discard his words as ridiculous but another part is so interested in this new perspective. He's rarely met people from other cities and interacted with them. There could very well be something going on in the world that he isn't aware of, that these people around him know about.
However as Hakyeon wants to further investigate, pick apart every detail and ounce of knowledge that Ken knows, he notices movement from the corner of his eye. Looking over he sees Leo sliding off the end of the truck, boots crunching over the loose gravel on the ground, crossing passed the fire and going straight for Hyuk whose now curled up in a threaded blanket against Hongbin's side.
In silent amazement, he watches (they all do) as Leo stops in front of the younger boy, lifts his hand to press his palm against his forehead beneath a few strands of his hair, checking for a temperature. "He needs sleep. Get him to bed," he directs this to Hongbin who nods immediately.
It's like this message is for the whole group as everyone moves into action. Ken starts to clean up the dishware, Ravi pulls out sleeping gear from the truck, Hongbin starts to lead Hyuk to where Ravi is unfolding sleeping bags, and Leo…Hakyeon quickly scans the area before he sees the back of a figure heading into the darkness away from the campfire.
"He's just checking the perimeter. You never know when there could be bandits hiding out," Ravi explains to him, and Hakyeon feels slightly embarrassed he was caught looking.
When he's given his own bag to sleep in, he looks around and counts. "There's not enough," he states. They're one bag short. "I can sleep on the ground," he offers because he's the one imposing, the one they graciously saved he supposes. He's using the word saved liberally since he still has that nagging feeling of guilt rooted in his gut.
"No way. Leo never uses these, so it's cool. We had a couple extra," Ravi assures him as he's sitting atop his own, unzipping it a bit before he starts to scoot himself inside. Leo hasn't returned yet but since none of the others are showing concern of his whereabouts, he simply submits and lowers himself onto the spread set of padding, slowly sliding himself inside it.
As he zips up the edge, feeling packaged between the soft lining, he settles onto his back to stare up at the sky. It's a blanket of black that soars on forever, dotted with the stars that sardonically shine. The moon tonight is an incandescent white, almost at full size.
That night he barely sleeps. He spends the hours drifting in and out of consciousness, only to be shaken awake by his own mind to be met with the dark sky again. When the fire's nothing more but crackling embers, he shifts onto his side. Curiosity comes to him again when he's teetering out of the edge of sleep, tilting his head enough to peer through the dim expanse, noticing a form perched at the end of that camper. He can't tell if Leo's awake or asleep while sitting up, but as he continues his battle of trying to sleep, Hakyeon has one reoccurring thought:
Where is this freedom waiting?
A few days of travel pass. Now he understands why he's never visited another city before. Although from his vague recollection of the globe's geography, he knows they're heading to the borders of Jungguk that are rumored to be invisible. They'll never know when they enter the adjacent country, for all they knew they could have already been within it.
The group is more than prepared for different occasions. He's seen the stock of weaponry they have, but he's never inquired about it. Ravi gives him a new set of clothes (he saves his own that he brought for another time), so now he's draped in this sand-colored sweater that's bolstered with a dark brown leather vest to keep his body warm. He'd chosen a pair of jeans, marveling at the material that just fits to his legs so naturally, having learned that Hongbin's birthplace was a textile town of clothing.
As far as refueling the truck for gasoline, he's seen Ravi take one of the tanks and fill it up every day. Thankfully there's a small town they stop at, the gas station empty as the town seems desolate with few people wandering the streets. An old man comes out to greet them, Ravi giving him Liebre as payment before taking the tanks and refilling them one by one with the help of Hongbin.
Ken's busy making animal impersonations for Hyuk. Hakyeon recognizes the dog since he's seen a few of those run about in the alleys. The chicken noises are so good he sees Hyuk nearly double over in laughter. Chuckling to himself, he glances over to Leo who's standing there, a rare smile faint on those lips as he watches them.
Leo's still the mysterious one. Other than the few words he offers of direction, Hakyeon never hears him speak. For the most part he keeps his distance from the group, while keeping that ever-watchful mode. He always disappears at night for a while, securing the perimeter Ravi always reassures, only to return to his spot at the back of the open camper at some point; Hakyeon always rouses from his restless sleep to see him there.
The heaviness that used to clamp his heart in his chest has lifted some. It returns every now and again, but he learns to ignore it. He's heard bits and pieces of how the other guys also lost their homes, forced to leave because of attacks or restructuring from a neighboring area. From what he gauges, it sounds like the war he's only caught fragments of from conversations on the streets is real. He's seen the outsiders come in, needing to restock on supplies, and although he never truly believed their words before, it's now dawning on him that the world is in more chaos and turmoil than he ever imagined.
Even in this town with a population about the same as one of the blocks in his city, he detects the worry on the people's faces. The old man smiles but Hakyeon can see the weariness in his eyes and how his frame slumps with a hopeless angle. As their camper drives down the one street to leave, he sees the glances towards them from the windows and he wonders if they're thinking the same thing he is: will they see a better place?
It's about the fifth night when Hakyeon finds himself back in Chawon. Debris clutters the streets, forcing him to step over the blocks of cement and the rubble that scars the road in brittle gray. He's walking up the familiar stairwell to his apartment, pushing open the door that's always welcomed him home. The heat is evident from the hallway and as he moves inside, there's flames everywhere, the living room wall blasted wide open. Giant claws of fire eat everything inside from the couch he's spent many afternoons napping on, to the photos hanging on the remaining walls.
He needs to find his mom.
When he heads inside, his legs feel heavy, like he's walking in molasses that he sinks into with every step. Calling out for her, it feels like a lifetime before he reaches the bedroom door, kicking it open since the handle nearly cinches his hand. Throwing himself inside the room, he stumbles through the thickening smoke, legs weak and trembling as something draws him to the other side of the bed. As he circles around, he first sees feet, and then the rest comes into view and all he can stare at is the face open-eyed at the ceiling--lifeless, blank, empty.
Hakyeon jerks awake. His senses distorted, he's gasping for air as he tries to scramble out of the sleeping bag. He fumbles, unzipping it, tripping over the edge as he staggers away from the camp. When he can't walk any further, the darkness even more disorienting with his vision blurry and unsteady from the panic, he collapses to the ground. The dirt kicks up and his knees sting but he's choking out air, the shivers running down his spine as he tries so hard to get a grasp on reality.
It was just a dream. No, a nightmare. A terrible, terrible nightmare.
Then the vision of his mother flashes in his mind again and he's gagging, this time the sharp acid feeling of bile rises up his throat and he coughs it out.
When the panic attack passes and he's left clinging to the dirt, the creases of his eyes stained with tears, he begins to push away the false images. Still shaking, he's panting deeply, reminding himself over and over none of it was real.
There's movement behind him but he's lacking the energy to see who it is.
"Are you okay?" The voice is quiet and he knows immediately who came.
Nodding weakly, he sits back onto his legs, the back of his hand wiping along his mouth while his stomach still clenches from its expulsion. A hand rests on his back, stroking over him in a soothing manner and Hakyeon wants to curl up in embarrassment. He hates showing weakness, bashful that the steadfast and strong Leo witnessed this moment.
Steadying his breathing, refusing to drag his gaze to the form kneeling beside him, he hears Leo speak again. "They never really stop." Swallowing as he just listens, he stares at the ground with his heart still pounding. "Sometimes I find it hard to sleep too because they come randomly."
This gains his attention as he finally drifts his eyes over, Leo's skin brightly pale even in the dark. Although he knows everyone here has been driven away from where they grew up, it just begins to sink in that his situation is so similar, that he's not alone in what he's feeling. How long ago the others have lost their homes is unknown, but at one point in their lives they experienced this constriction of grief and the unbearable mourning that threatens to spill out randomly in the day. This also leads to giving him another answer, as to why they went to lengths to save him as well, to drag him from his home despite his resistance and to take him with them from a city they knew was going to fall. They all must've seen a part of themselves in him that day and felt a kinship.
He slowly comes to terms that it's okay for him to have these emotions for it's part of the process of…moving on. And heading forward.
"Where's your home?" he finally asks, blinking at Leo as he waits quietly for the answer.
A few moments drift by before he replies. "Here. With the guys." The hand that's stopped soothing over his back is resting on his shoulder, and it squeezes, another display of comfort. Yet as his hand slips off and Leo stands up, Hakyeon tilts his head up to peer at the looming figure. The last words he says carry through Hakyeon's mind for the rest of the night.
"You also need to find a new home."
Owari.
Part 4.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Slowly, slowly more is being revealed, haha. I already know this is going to be super multi-chaptered. OTL
Author: sypherus_xiii
Pairing: HakyeonxTaekwoon
Rating: R. Language, violence and later sexual themes.
Summary: In a world bound by the tangles of war, Hakyeon searches for freedom. Post-apocalyptic AU.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.
Part 1. || Part 2.
A/N: Thank you for all of your encouraging comments! I updated quickly, probably because I'm trying to squeeze in as much as I can before the holiday. Enjoy!
When darkness falls and cloaks around,
Follow the white roots of the ground.
The sun sets, the dark sky closing in from the east. Hakyeon can't tear his gaze away from the back window, watching as the orange glow beneath a plane of smoke progressively grows smaller and smaller. When the truck's engine finally growls to a stop, everyone around him sets into motion, the doors opening wide while several bags are dragged out. He notices the boy who finally shared his name--Hyuk--is following them out, hopping onto the ground. In the next second he sees Ravi standing outside, staring right at Hakyeon who remains huddled against the cabin of the truck.
"We're camping here for the night. Come on out and get some food."
Trying to move his legs is a whole other story as he realizes they've grown numb from sitting there for half the day. Scooting over the metal floor, when he slips out of the truck his eyes are automatically drawn to the distant hues in the sky, like the faint flicker of a candle's flame. Gone. Chawon is gone. He wonders how many people are still there, fighting for their life, rounding up the last number of survivors. He should be there, too.
As they bring some of the boxes to use as seats, placing them into a circle around a small area, Ken starts the fire with the help of Ravi, the growing flames making the driver's blonde hair appear more golden. Watching the two of them argue over which food to cook makes him think this is a nightly ritual. Ken wins with his choice of beans and a nameless meat.
Letting himself focus on nothing but the people around him, he catches sight of Hongbin talking quietly to Hyuk. He sees the youth smile at something he says and Hakyeon has this tugging in his chest, the fact dawning on him that Hyuk is the only person with him now from his hometown.
Although they lived under different circumstances, only Hyuk would also know the rich wafts of fresh-baked bread as they made their way early in the morning to the factory or the blind woman who stood in the street all day offering to read anyone's future. But he also knew the struggles everyone in that city faced every day, doing anything they could to make it to another sunrise. It wasn't perfect, but it was still home.
Slowly exhaling, he accepts the tin bowl with a spoonful of beans and smoked pieces of the meat. "What is this?" he asks again, clarifying what he is about to put into his mouth.
"Rabbit," Ravi smiles over at him, eyebrows raising and Hakyeon knows he's about to watch him eat this. "Ever had it?"
Shaking his head, the grin on Ravi's lips widens and Hakyeon bites back his own smile. Pushing away his hesitance since his stomach chooses to clench in hunger at that moment, he takes the offered spoon and slowly scoops it through. The first bite is hot and he gasps, trying to breathe cooler air over his tongue, hearing a laugh travel from Ken's way.
When it's cooled a bit, he chews and lets the flavor wrap through his senses. It's also been a while since he's had beans. The texture is similar to the gruel he eats--ate for lunch, but there's a sweeter flavor that draws him to take another bite after blowing over the spoonful. The meat itself is a bit tough, but the taste isn't bad when he mixes it with the beans.
"How is it?" Blinking over, he sees Ken staring at him, the round eyes attentive as he waits for Hakyeon to respond.
"…Mm. Good. Thank you…" he drops his gaze back to the bowl, unable to rid himself of the heaviness that clings to his gut.
When he looks back up he sees Hyuk opening his mouth as Hongbin slowly feeds him. Apparently Hongbin's the medic in the group who takes care of their injuries or sudden illnesses. Yet it's still a heart-warming sight, to see this stranger taking care of someone who wouldn't even receive a second glance in the streets back in Chawon. Slaves were treated worse than the stray dogs that at least got the leftover scraps from the surrounding restaurants and stores. As they were property of the city, they never received wages and all stayed in the same residences in buildings always on the verge of falling apart.
Soon his gaze trails over to the camper, the back of the truck wide open as he sees the last figure sitting there, one leg hanging off the edge while he's holding a black object in his hand, studying it with a pensive look. Leo's dark hair is tied up and the sides that are visible show the wavy curls, a semblance of those regal characters Hakyeon's read about in books. Then he remembers Leo's gaze--intent and unwavering--and his voice--soft but commanding. Although he barely knows him, Hakyeon certainly can understand why he's the leader among them.
Suddenly a weight drops beside him on the box. "You're awfully quiet." Looking over, he sees Ken offering a smile. "Is it not good?"
"No, no, it is," Hakyeon quickly assures. To show it, he takes another big bite complete with the rabbit. It's hard to swallow, but it still earns him an arm around his shoulder as Ken squeezes him.
"Good. Rabbit's not easy to find or kill around here. They're just so cute I always feel bad." As Ken explains this, his lower lip pouts out and Hakyeon muses that the expression suits him.
"I've only seen them in illustrations," Hakyeon replies, knowing his city uses chicken and eggs as its main source of protein. Other wildlife is hard to find in a barren land. "What's that in his hand?" he asks Ken suddenly, his eyes returning to Leo who's fingering the black item.
"A compass," Ken answers, arm still around Hakyeon as he leans against him. "But it doesn't point north." Showing surprise he shifts his gaze to Ken, lips parting to inquire more but Ken's already beating him to the punch. "It points to this sea. Supposedly the sea has a lot of this…stuff…that the compass just points to." It's clear Ken doesn't exactly know the logistics behind it and Hakyeon hears himself chuckle. It's the first time he's been amused enough to respond in such a positive way.
"Does that mean you're following where the compass points to?" He figures now he should ask about--well, he's not sure. Is it his own future he's also inquiring about? Or are they going to just drop him off at the next city then continue on their own path?
Ken nods firmly. "Mhm. Leo believes it'll lead us to freedom."
That shifts Hakyeon's attention into confusion. Beneath the astray fringe of his hair, the crease between his eyebrows knit as he further asks, "Freedom? You guys aren't…free?" He's always considered himself free and they seem especially free roaming around in a truck like this traveling wherever they desire. Then again they could be refugees. All of these questions keep rising.
"None of us are. Including you," Ken whispers, his voice lowering like he's saying secretive words to fragile ears. Part of Hakyeon wants to discard his words as ridiculous but another part is so interested in this new perspective. He's rarely met people from other cities and interacted with them. There could very well be something going on in the world that he isn't aware of, that these people around him know about.
However as Hakyeon wants to further investigate, pick apart every detail and ounce of knowledge that Ken knows, he notices movement from the corner of his eye. Looking over he sees Leo sliding off the end of the truck, boots crunching over the loose gravel on the ground, crossing passed the fire and going straight for Hyuk whose now curled up in a threaded blanket against Hongbin's side.
In silent amazement, he watches (they all do) as Leo stops in front of the younger boy, lifts his hand to press his palm against his forehead beneath a few strands of his hair, checking for a temperature. "He needs sleep. Get him to bed," he directs this to Hongbin who nods immediately.
It's like this message is for the whole group as everyone moves into action. Ken starts to clean up the dishware, Ravi pulls out sleeping gear from the truck, Hongbin starts to lead Hyuk to where Ravi is unfolding sleeping bags, and Leo…Hakyeon quickly scans the area before he sees the back of a figure heading into the darkness away from the campfire.
"He's just checking the perimeter. You never know when there could be bandits hiding out," Ravi explains to him, and Hakyeon feels slightly embarrassed he was caught looking.
When he's given his own bag to sleep in, he looks around and counts. "There's not enough," he states. They're one bag short. "I can sleep on the ground," he offers because he's the one imposing, the one they graciously saved he supposes. He's using the word saved liberally since he still has that nagging feeling of guilt rooted in his gut.
"No way. Leo never uses these, so it's cool. We had a couple extra," Ravi assures him as he's sitting atop his own, unzipping it a bit before he starts to scoot himself inside. Leo hasn't returned yet but since none of the others are showing concern of his whereabouts, he simply submits and lowers himself onto the spread set of padding, slowly sliding himself inside it.
As he zips up the edge, feeling packaged between the soft lining, he settles onto his back to stare up at the sky. It's a blanket of black that soars on forever, dotted with the stars that sardonically shine. The moon tonight is an incandescent white, almost at full size.
That night he barely sleeps. He spends the hours drifting in and out of consciousness, only to be shaken awake by his own mind to be met with the dark sky again. When the fire's nothing more but crackling embers, he shifts onto his side. Curiosity comes to him again when he's teetering out of the edge of sleep, tilting his head enough to peer through the dim expanse, noticing a form perched at the end of that camper. He can't tell if Leo's awake or asleep while sitting up, but as he continues his battle of trying to sleep, Hakyeon has one reoccurring thought:
Where is this freedom waiting?
A few days of travel pass. Now he understands why he's never visited another city before. Although from his vague recollection of the globe's geography, he knows they're heading to the borders of Jungguk that are rumored to be invisible. They'll never know when they enter the adjacent country, for all they knew they could have already been within it.
The group is more than prepared for different occasions. He's seen the stock of weaponry they have, but he's never inquired about it. Ravi gives him a new set of clothes (he saves his own that he brought for another time), so now he's draped in this sand-colored sweater that's bolstered with a dark brown leather vest to keep his body warm. He'd chosen a pair of jeans, marveling at the material that just fits to his legs so naturally, having learned that Hongbin's birthplace was a textile town of clothing.
As far as refueling the truck for gasoline, he's seen Ravi take one of the tanks and fill it up every day. Thankfully there's a small town they stop at, the gas station empty as the town seems desolate with few people wandering the streets. An old man comes out to greet them, Ravi giving him Liebre as payment before taking the tanks and refilling them one by one with the help of Hongbin.
Ken's busy making animal impersonations for Hyuk. Hakyeon recognizes the dog since he's seen a few of those run about in the alleys. The chicken noises are so good he sees Hyuk nearly double over in laughter. Chuckling to himself, he glances over to Leo who's standing there, a rare smile faint on those lips as he watches them.
Leo's still the mysterious one. Other than the few words he offers of direction, Hakyeon never hears him speak. For the most part he keeps his distance from the group, while keeping that ever-watchful mode. He always disappears at night for a while, securing the perimeter Ravi always reassures, only to return to his spot at the back of the open camper at some point; Hakyeon always rouses from his restless sleep to see him there.
The heaviness that used to clamp his heart in his chest has lifted some. It returns every now and again, but he learns to ignore it. He's heard bits and pieces of how the other guys also lost their homes, forced to leave because of attacks or restructuring from a neighboring area. From what he gauges, it sounds like the war he's only caught fragments of from conversations on the streets is real. He's seen the outsiders come in, needing to restock on supplies, and although he never truly believed their words before, it's now dawning on him that the world is in more chaos and turmoil than he ever imagined.
Even in this town with a population about the same as one of the blocks in his city, he detects the worry on the people's faces. The old man smiles but Hakyeon can see the weariness in his eyes and how his frame slumps with a hopeless angle. As their camper drives down the one street to leave, he sees the glances towards them from the windows and he wonders if they're thinking the same thing he is: will they see a better place?
It's about the fifth night when Hakyeon finds himself back in Chawon. Debris clutters the streets, forcing him to step over the blocks of cement and the rubble that scars the road in brittle gray. He's walking up the familiar stairwell to his apartment, pushing open the door that's always welcomed him home. The heat is evident from the hallway and as he moves inside, there's flames everywhere, the living room wall blasted wide open. Giant claws of fire eat everything inside from the couch he's spent many afternoons napping on, to the photos hanging on the remaining walls.
He needs to find his mom.
When he heads inside, his legs feel heavy, like he's walking in molasses that he sinks into with every step. Calling out for her, it feels like a lifetime before he reaches the bedroom door, kicking it open since the handle nearly cinches his hand. Throwing himself inside the room, he stumbles through the thickening smoke, legs weak and trembling as something draws him to the other side of the bed. As he circles around, he first sees feet, and then the rest comes into view and all he can stare at is the face open-eyed at the ceiling--lifeless, blank, empty.
Hakyeon jerks awake. His senses distorted, he's gasping for air as he tries to scramble out of the sleeping bag. He fumbles, unzipping it, tripping over the edge as he staggers away from the camp. When he can't walk any further, the darkness even more disorienting with his vision blurry and unsteady from the panic, he collapses to the ground. The dirt kicks up and his knees sting but he's choking out air, the shivers running down his spine as he tries so hard to get a grasp on reality.
It was just a dream. No, a nightmare. A terrible, terrible nightmare.
Then the vision of his mother flashes in his mind again and he's gagging, this time the sharp acid feeling of bile rises up his throat and he coughs it out.
When the panic attack passes and he's left clinging to the dirt, the creases of his eyes stained with tears, he begins to push away the false images. Still shaking, he's panting deeply, reminding himself over and over none of it was real.
There's movement behind him but he's lacking the energy to see who it is.
"Are you okay?" The voice is quiet and he knows immediately who came.
Nodding weakly, he sits back onto his legs, the back of his hand wiping along his mouth while his stomach still clenches from its expulsion. A hand rests on his back, stroking over him in a soothing manner and Hakyeon wants to curl up in embarrassment. He hates showing weakness, bashful that the steadfast and strong Leo witnessed this moment.
Steadying his breathing, refusing to drag his gaze to the form kneeling beside him, he hears Leo speak again. "They never really stop." Swallowing as he just listens, he stares at the ground with his heart still pounding. "Sometimes I find it hard to sleep too because they come randomly."
This gains his attention as he finally drifts his eyes over, Leo's skin brightly pale even in the dark. Although he knows everyone here has been driven away from where they grew up, it just begins to sink in that his situation is so similar, that he's not alone in what he's feeling. How long ago the others have lost their homes is unknown, but at one point in their lives they experienced this constriction of grief and the unbearable mourning that threatens to spill out randomly in the day. This also leads to giving him another answer, as to why they went to lengths to save him as well, to drag him from his home despite his resistance and to take him with them from a city they knew was going to fall. They all must've seen a part of themselves in him that day and felt a kinship.
He slowly comes to terms that it's okay for him to have these emotions for it's part of the process of…moving on. And heading forward.
"Where's your home?" he finally asks, blinking at Leo as he waits quietly for the answer.
A few moments drift by before he replies. "Here. With the guys." The hand that's stopped soothing over his back is resting on his shoulder, and it squeezes, another display of comfort. Yet as his hand slips off and Leo stands up, Hakyeon tilts his head up to peer at the looming figure. The last words he says carry through Hakyeon's mind for the rest of the night.
"You also need to find a new home."
Owari.
Part 4.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Slowly, slowly more is being revealed, haha. I already know this is going to be super multi-chaptered. OTL