6x13 The Wedding of River Song
THIS WAS THE MOST AWESOME SERIES FINALE EVER. Moffat deserves a statue. Or his own church.
I mean, I knew it was gonna be spectacular and amazing and my expectations were quite high and I've been literally telling people for years that Steven Moffat is a god, but this finale exceeded even my expectations by a mile. Moffat's more my hero than he's ever been. He's BRILLIANT, yes, with capital letters. I've seen The Big Bang two times now -
er, wait, sorry, that’s last year’s finale, I’ve no idea how I could’ve possibly confused the two.
I mean, it’s not like this finale was about time being completely, hopelessly messed up and history being crazy and earlier guest characters coming back and the Doctor playing Indiana Jones and wearing a stupid hat and then having to die but eventually cheating Death itself and the companions never having met the Doctor and Amy remembering him but forgetting Rory who is completely oblivious of everything.
I loved it, though. I sincerely did. My appreciation was won the moment I saw the balloon-cars and the roller-coaster trains. I want to pack my suitcase at this very moment and move to the timeline where we go around in balloon-cars and trains in pyramids and Churchill is the Caesar and the still-intact Roman Empire's capital is London. I want to feed the pterodactyls!
This episode was a lovely ride that never appeared to be even 20 minutes. We finally figure out who River actually is (though the orphanage part still ain't clear), we get to know how the Doctor weasels his way out of dying again, yaddada yaddada.
On this occasion I am ambivalent about never actually betting on things despite saying so all the time. River shot the Doctor but the Doctor cheats, I would’ve won that. Rory dies horribly and his body’s vaporised so he can’t come back as a zombie. Now there I feel a little... disappointed. Oh dear, I can’t do the Zorg in writing, tragical.
So, the thing is, while I was obviously afraid that Moffat would KILL HIM WITH FIRE just to exemplify the first law of the universe (i.e. My Favourite Characters Must Die Horribly), and I’m totally happy that Rory managed to survive yet another series with my black mark on him, but duuuh, they kept killing him and then bringing him back for two series now and now they couldn’t’ve even done THAT? They even had a different timeline to kill him in, possibly in a funny and preposterous way! Yes, I know, I’m bloody hard to please.
But at least the Silence got a joke out of him, eh heh heh.
Apart from my shallow problems over not killing my favourite character for fun, I liked the ending with River casually visiting Amy. With that and the circumstances of Madame Kovarian’s death I might even forgive Moffat for Amy’s lack of maternal feelings two episodes ago, she was a lot more sympathetic now. And come ON, Amy, even Mother Teresa would’ve let her die.
Back to the Timey Wimey Most Awesome Timeline Ever, eye-patches! Everybody wearing eye-patches! Just so they’d look cool and mysterious in the teasers! And so Rory’d have another moment of shine instead of rotting six feet under like he would be with any other scriptwriter around! I don’t know about these losers, but the moment Madame Kovarian started talking about electricity in the eye-patches and the first redshirt went down, the first thought that crossed my mind was, ‘GET IT OFF!’ And all those losers just kept standing there like the bunch of idiots they were and didn’t even try taking theirs off until they were electrocuted. Gosh, they deserved to die.
Oh and another very very very incredibly important thing. The Nicholas Courtney tribute. It was lovely and so immensely sad. I knew there’d be a memorial, but then it didn’t come and I’ve completely forgotten about it and now it was there. Rest in peace, Brigadier, you were awesome.
And the ending... well... you bastard. Everybody thought the Doctor would be a Ganger, but then Amy was a Ganger, so it would’ve been the cheesiest thing EVER to make a Doctor-duplicate, so Moffat made a Doctor-duplicate. OK, tricky, he was in there but he DIDN’T actually die, now, did he?
But never mind, because now the Doctor will stop being a noisy anomaly and lay low for the rest of his life, nice and quiet, so the Silence won’t ever realise he’s still ali - oh wait.
But that’s just cool because I still demand some answers. We still don’t clearly know what happened in Series 5. We still don’t know what was the deal with Craig’s Silence spaceship and the Doctor actually remarked it! As for the big booo at the end, oh for pity’s sake, we know you won’t reveal his name ever because that would both the end of the show and the appearance of a mob armed with torches and pitchforks in front of the BBC Cymru studios, so nyer, Boo Big Damn Truth Day can’t happen.
Oh look’ee there, fan reactions after A Good Man Goes to War were all *weep* *weep* Dorian had some potential but can’t return because he was decapitated. So obviously, he returns. And he’s even funnier! I’m still wondering how could his fat head tumble around in that small box.
And the skulls and the cobwebs and the Indiana Jones stuff all over again. With a funny hat that was somewhat more similar to IJ’s felt hat than a fez.
And Amy always remembers the Doctor, even though fellow time-traveller Rory never remembers a thing (and Amy doesn’t remember him until being thoroughly nudged), I will definitely find the time to shred a tear.
You know, I totally feel like watching The Pandorica Opens / The Big Bang now just because this episode reminded me of them so much. *imagine the most evil smirk ever accompanying this* Nevertheless, I loved the episode awfully. I demand MORE.
IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY? It is in the Harrods.
p.s. Can we keep A/R, please? I don’t want new companions, they’re my favourites ever. And then we could get a third series finale that’s totally like these two! (Er, I’m working against my side here, aren’t I?)
And they and Matt are the funniest ever in the Confidentials, too. Which should live forever! The Confidentials are my second favourite programme, right after Doctor Who, they are amazing and informative and awesome and the best thing is THEY’RE REAL. They’re about real people, the real process of making DW and a true account of how awesome it must be to work on Doctor Who, so dear Beeb, unless you want to contract me right now, DON’T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME. That show is a treasure. It’s about people who should be in the limelight but normally aren’t ever, and it’s wrong because what they’re doing is amazing. It’s about the most exciting trivia about the making of my favourite show, background information, everything. It's about Matt Smith being a moron.
In fact, it should get even MORE money. And they should release it on dvd. Honestly, I WANT a dvd, I bet thousands of other people feel the same, I hate not being able to buy a shiny new legal high-quality copy of DWC and watch the old Confidentials. The Beeb say they can’t afford DWC but they never even tried to make it profitable. And don’t tell me it’s because of the music, because if bloody Roswell could come out on dvd, I’m not seeing the problem.
I want more Confidentials, I want to hate the team for working there, I want to hate them for those delicious breakfasts, I want to know how a gaffer spends his day, I want to laugh at Matt/Arthur/Karen and I want to see interviews with the cast and the writers and the directors and everyone, I want to know about the circumstances and the problems and the locations and I want to know the trivia!
Edit: It took me a month to realise this was my 300th post. Lovely coincidence. Apparently, it took me 3.5 years to get here. See ya at Christmas.