Signs I've maybe been reading too much fanfiction
Pfaw! I make a sort of plosive sound of derision at that `too much' notion. I've run short of good Snughorn to read, it appears (Slughorn and Snape, and there isn't much of it about, wah) so for some reason, let's say writing practice, I feel compelled to compile a probably-not-at-all-comprehensive list of
Theories found in fanfiction about Severus Snape's hair:
1) It's really not greasy at all when you touch it! (perhaps the most popular)
2) It's really not that greasy when you touch it, and is slick and soft. (a close runner up for most popular)
3) Yeah, well, it's not naturally that way, but it gets glommed up after a long day of potion fumes.
4) It's actually a pomade to prevent hairs from dropping into the cauldron. (a good idea, though I've only read that one once)
5) It's Victorian-era style hairdressing oil, to go with the frock-coated look.
6) No matter what he does to clean it, within half an hour it's back to the lankly greasy appearance (probably third most popular theory)
due to a) genetic misfortune, b) family curse, c) freak potion accident (or so he told Lucius)
7) It's a source of perpetual frustration and shame
8) He likes it, actually, the way it swings forward like a curtain to cover his face
9) it is a tactile pleasure
10) or... Kind of gross, actually
11) Really rankly gross
12) Except to perhaps a werewolf as the moon nears the full...
13) After about 2 hours of concentrated labor and a few dozen spells and hair products, it's so gorgeous that anyone who gets a glimpse is besotted. :D (the Secret Weapon)
14) It's unusually lush and shiny (when he's secretly pregnant.)
15) He's been informed, vehemently or merely persistently, that he's ugly, so why give a shit about appearance in general.
16) "trying and still being left lacking was worse than pretending not to care at all"
17) Looking repulsive is part of the double-agent act
18) He's actually a giant spider. 0_o (not fanfiction, actually, an essay)
19) Cleaning charms aren't totally effective, but it's usually a tad too much effort to take an actual shower,
a) hmph, just a bother,
b) rather a bother when you're pretty darn clinically depressed,
c) ... after teaching dunderheaded brats, inflicting detentions, and lurking about the halls for students out after curfew. Watching the quiddich. Stupid feasts. Then a night of pandering to You Know Who, which may involve perpetrating and/or receiving (gang) rape and torture. Spying and the deflection of discovery as a spy is also somewhat time consuming. Independent research. Stocking the infirmary. Tutoring the Potter boy. A bit of a romp and/or loving tryst and/or brutality and/or angst with _____ [fill in the blank - somebody's very likely written it]. Having a double life as Madame Pince. Insomnia and/or horrible nightmares. Addiction to dreamless sleep potion/firewhiskey. And then grading papers.
20) Hagrid thinks it's
a) like ink from the giant squid,
b) smooth as a flobberworm under his hand.
Heh, I feel I should provide links for all of them, but darned if I recall just where to find most of those...
Theories found in fanfiction about Severus Snape's hair:
1) It's really not greasy at all when you touch it! (perhaps the most popular)
2) It's really not that greasy when you touch it, and is slick and soft. (a close runner up for most popular)
3) Yeah, well, it's not naturally that way, but it gets glommed up after a long day of potion fumes.
4) It's actually a pomade to prevent hairs from dropping into the cauldron. (a good idea, though I've only read that one once)
5) It's Victorian-era style hairdressing oil, to go with the frock-coated look.
6) No matter what he does to clean it, within half an hour it's back to the lankly greasy appearance (probably third most popular theory)
due to a) genetic misfortune, b) family curse, c) freak potion accident (or so he told Lucius)
7) It's a source of perpetual frustration and shame
8) He likes it, actually, the way it swings forward like a curtain to cover his face
9) it is a tactile pleasure
10) or... Kind of gross, actually
11) Really rankly gross
12) Except to perhaps a werewolf as the moon nears the full...
13) After about 2 hours of concentrated labor and a few dozen spells and hair products, it's so gorgeous that anyone who gets a glimpse is besotted. :D (the Secret Weapon)
14) It's unusually lush and shiny (when he's secretly pregnant.)
15) He's been informed, vehemently or merely persistently, that he's ugly, so why give a shit about appearance in general.
16) "trying and still being left lacking was worse than pretending not to care at all"
17) Looking repulsive is part of the double-agent act
18) He's actually a giant spider. 0_o (not fanfiction, actually, an essay)
19) Cleaning charms aren't totally effective, but it's usually a tad too much effort to take an actual shower,
a) hmph, just a bother,
b) rather a bother when you're pretty darn clinically depressed,
c) ... after teaching dunderheaded brats, inflicting detentions, and lurking about the halls for students out after curfew. Watching the quiddich. Stupid feasts. Then a night of pandering to You Know Who, which may involve perpetrating and/or receiving (gang) rape and torture. Spying and the deflection of discovery as a spy is also somewhat time consuming. Independent research. Stocking the infirmary. Tutoring the Potter boy. A bit of a romp and/or loving tryst and/or brutality and/or angst with _____ [fill in the blank - somebody's very likely written it]. Having a double life as Madame Pince. Insomnia and/or horrible nightmares. Addiction to dreamless sleep potion/firewhiskey. And then grading papers.
20) Hagrid thinks it's
a) like ink from the giant squid,
b) smooth as a flobberworm under his hand.
Heh, I feel I should provide links for all of them, but darned if I recall just where to find most of those...