I really like this story. Well, okay, I also just love seeing Mike all sick or drunk or something. He's just got that baby bird feel to him. But this was a great example of that. The poor boy and his bike.
You had tense problems and the fic needs so grammatical polishing, but with some editing this could be really good.
Plus, the loosing of the tie and the beginning and the end bookends the fic well. It feels like a complete story.
Oh my goodness, you don't know how frustrated I was getting with my tenses! I'd be writing and the I'd walk away and come back and slip into another tense. When I'd re-read it I'd spend forever try to correct all the tense problems. It's my writing vice. Haha
Theank you for your comments. You are very sweet! :)
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You had tense problems and the fic needs so grammatical polishing, but with some editing this could be really good.
Plus, the loosing of the tie and the beginning and the end bookends the fic well. It feels like a complete story.
Anyway, keep it up. :D
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Theank you for your comments. You are very sweet! :)
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XD
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I like your characterization and the over-all flavor of the fic immensely. Also, Harvey assigning Louis' work to Louis' associates! Makes me happy.
It does need a second pair of eyes for smoothing out, but this is a great story. I could see Mike doing this in the show easily.
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I also kind of like Louis, he is such a deliciously evil antagonist. So much fun to play with.
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