<< and a hundred thousand other things that aren't even that way anymore anywhere but in my memory. >>
there are a thousand worlds that exist only in our heads now. rooms and houses and someone sitting on a bed laughing in profile in a house that no longer is owned by them. they'll always be there. standing at the window, drying their hair. watching you sleep when you weren't really sleeping. doing the thousand things people do around their own houses that don't even involve you, and that makes them so much more thrilling to watch and be a part of. i still have a whole medicine cabinet memorized in an apartment that i think may have been torn down. i still know its smell.
It's a constant thing to think of times that were, and how they remain in the memory is beyond me. It's like they grow to become a longing for the beauty of what it was. That is what hurts the most. Knowing that time will never be again.
I went to a little send-off at her place before she moved. I had a difficult time letting go of her when we hugged goodbye. She really is something... I think it's hard not to be attracted to her.
I presume that she too values this memory, the feeling. That place in which you both existed. Reveling in the possibilities, the imaginative scenarios bouncing around her head, that cowered in the disturbing face of what was real and quite unattainable - these things would both rapture and tear at her, bound tightly and spread loosely across an expanding universe.
Perhaps it was the knowing that she could change nothing, that she should not attempt to curl her quivering little fingers around the heart of one that belonged to another - any more than she had, that stuck in her chest like too many icicles refusing to melt.
Letting you go in a white, white dress in the Fall of another world
to a man she knew was meant for you.
Praying for absolution "Like Orphee in some thunder world Asking to be bathed in light"
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there are a thousand worlds that exist only in our heads now.
rooms and houses and someone sitting on a bed laughing in profile in a house that no longer is owned by them. they'll always be there. standing at the window, drying their hair. watching you sleep when you weren't really sleeping. doing the thousand things people do around their own houses that don't even involve you, and that makes them so much more thrilling to watch and be a part of.
i still have a whole medicine cabinet memorized in an apartment that i think may have been torn down. i still know its smell.
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I had no idea she had married.
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I went to a little send-off at her place before she moved. I had a difficult time letting go of her when we hugged goodbye. She really is something... I think it's hard not to be attracted to her.
Reply
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Perhaps it was the knowing that she could change nothing, that she should not attempt to curl her quivering little fingers around the heart of one that belonged to another - any more than she had, that stuck in her chest like too many icicles refusing to melt.
Letting you go in a white, white dress in the Fall of another world
to a man she knew was meant for you.
Praying for absolution
"Like Orphee in some thunder world
Asking to be bathed in light"
Reply
Brennan
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