Ok. I admit it, I am weak. I texted Sam last night and told him I was no longer angry, just hurt that everything happened the way it did, and yes, I gave in just like I have given in a thousand times before. I’m not proud of what I did but the silence was beginning to cripple me and every single second that has passed this week has amounted to the ( Read more... )

That's Happy Christmas in Italian. So now you know ( Read more... )

Ack. In under twenty-four hours it will be Christmas Eve. I'm not panicking. See? Goddamn good control ( Read more... )

Dear Sam ( Read more... )

Sunday night I wanted to die. I will endeavour not to discuss in detail what happened any further. Monday I went into college and one of the first people I saw was he. I think he sensed there was something wrong and perhaps even a little bit of guilt if I were lucky and he felt I deserved that but nothing else. I didn’t speak to him and I didn’t ( Read more... )

I'm falling apart. Tonight, I finally crumbled. The man I hopelessly love and fell for twice found another woman. That woman was Alice. They left together. After everything. Big, fucking congratulations. I think I want to hurl. I cried a lot to Steve. Lorraine cried a lot for very different reaons. I am in so much pain, I can't comprehend that is ( Read more... )

So I never thought I'd be in the position of having to cry myself to sleep every night to feeling about a thousand times more worthy and loved at same time the next evening. But that's what I've done ( Read more... )

Maybe I'm going insane. Today was a sketchfest. Really. I feel trapped in a bubble. I felt so inadequate and disconnected and sad and I couldn't really explain why. Meh. And bleh. I mean, subconsciously, I know it must be the situation with Sam but I wish I wasn't so unhelpful and boring and unsociable sometimes. I was in a crabby mood all day ( Read more... )

Good news first, bad news last. Because I'm morbid and I want to leave you in light of my sadness. I got my first university offer from Southampton yesterday, which was a huge relief. I made a new journal layout ( Read more... )

Marlena Shaw is such an underrated legend, its inconceivable. Was in a stupidly good mood yesterday evening as I treated myself to a night of chill, lighting my candles in my room, which caused quite an upset for the parentals. “I’m counting kisses instead of counting sheep...how sad that the eyes of love are fast asleep”, must be the coolest line ( Read more... )