Why I'm a recluse right now

[g_na]

This past year I've been somewhat of a recluse. I haven't been avoiding social contact, but my "social-ness" has certainly been limited. This is best for me right now as I feel like I need quite a bit of time alone (although "alone" can mean either by myself or alone with Frederick

Comments

[gnat23]

I'm sorry that a couple of bad people wrecked it for you. It's never fun to be let down so dramatically.

And if you don't return to being an extrovert, that is ok; just means more cozy lunches or mellow tea parties with only the closest.

[eac]

"If my closest friend, someone who had told me multiple times that they loved me and valued my friendship, could treat me so poorly and make me feel so badly why should I expect a more casual friend to treat me any better?"

Those of us who know you only slightly might not presume we were permitted (through familiarity) to treat you so poorly.

That said, I'm sorry about the hurt and loss of trust, and I completely understand why you might turn inward and stick with safe people. (I'm not an extrovert, either.)

[allartburns]

Oddly enough, I've never thought of you as introverted. Not an extrovert, sure, but certainly not introverted. (Maybe that speaks to *my* poor communication skills!)

One thing I have noticed since leaving the bay area is how less intense other parts of the country are. Most of my bay area friends are "on" 24/7/365 and it's always a race/competition to be the most/baddest/loudest/whateverist thing a person is. Pittsburgh is a little too far in the other direction for me some days but it's really great to be around people who aren't always competing for everything all the time.

I wonder how much of that intensity leads to you feeling introverted and to having friends who change their priorities in ways that don't include you.

[scanner_darkly]

I can empathize, and I'm just lucky that what's happened to you hasn't also happened to me.

When I was in high school I was painfully shy, in my 20s and early 30s I tried to combat that, but now I am falling back into old behaviors. I actually have some fear I might becoming a bit agoraphobic in general. It means I've slowly drifted away from a lot of people I adore and respect, but I haven't had your poor luck in people finding rude ways of pointing it out to me.

I don't have any advice or words, just wanted to basically say, yeah, right there with you, and sorry people had to be that way.

[jourdannex]

I can completely relate to this right now, I am going through something exactly like this...and I have never felt more lonely...and I am just hoping I can make it back to that more social person I was...right now I don't even remember what she looks like. Or feels like. I am sorry you are going through this as well.