((here I go again))
Spinner had barely moved since he had arrived back home a couple of hours ago. He was turning over the events of the night in his head, over and over and over again.
He wasn't gay. He couldn't be. It didn't make sense... he had been so unaccpeting when Marco had come out.
And if he was... how could Darcy know when he had no idea... How could he not know?
Plus... when had he started to like Marco, of all people?
Had he just been too drunk, to sensitive, too open to anything to make the lonliness in his heart go away?
He had kissed Marco twice. The first time, it was Marco's doing, grabbing the first guy at hand in an attempt to make Dylan jealous. The second time, it was all Spinner... What had he been thinking? Had his subconscious gotten an unnatural hold of his actions? Had he wanted to see what it would be like? Maybe he was just testing his limits, or gaugeing his and Marco's responses...
And, the bonus question. Had he enjoyed it? Maybe that had been the real reason, purely experimental, to see if Darcy and the rest had had any sort of justification for their snide remarks...
the answer, the inescapable truth, was one of the scariest concepts Spinner's mind had ever entertained.
He had enjoyed it. Even the first, spur of the moment jealousy-ridden kiss had had some sort of... feeling attached.
There was a tingle. That was the best way to describe it, an odd tingle when lips parted...
Spinner finally changed into his night clothes, shut off his over head light, rolled over and attempted to fall asleep. But he lay awake for another hour, wondering what would happen next.