C'est La Vie 7/?
author: beps_wildorchid
rating: pg-13
summary: the story continues...
disclaimer: you know the drill.
previous chapters on ffn
Previously:
Going into the room, he hadn’t known what to expect, but nothing could have prepared him for the emotional reaction that he had to seeing Addison lying in a pool of blood. Slipping into doctor mode, he detected a slight pulse and faint signs of respiration. At first glance he had only detected the blood pooling by her head, but after a more thorough inspection, his heart broke as he discovered the blood between her legs. He wasn’t sure if his heart broke more for her or for himself. He knew that medically there was nothing that could be done for a child that small and defenseless. He didn’t know if they would be strong enough to form a relationship in the wake of this tragedy, or if she would even want to see him again. She would probably blame him for this, assuming that she made it through this. He blamed himself for the fact that this happened-he should have just called. Coming out here had been a mistake, and because of that mistake, he could potentially be losing everything that mattered to him.
The story continues:
The entire ride to the hospital was hell for Mark. Once the doctors had taken over her had allowed himself to fall into the role of concerned…whatever he was to her. Everything was a blur of movement and flashing lights, and he was unable to process what was happening. He tried as hard as he could to keep his mind logical and go through the medical steps that needed to be taken in order to ensure Addison’s safety, but all he could do was worry about her. If anything happened to Addison, he didn’t know what he would do with himself. He probably wouldn’t be able to survive losing her. He was upset about the baby as well, but for the most part, the only reason that it even registered in his mind was that Addison wanted to have a child so badly. He wished that he had told her that he loved her before this happened, that he hadn’t scared her and caused her grief. He couldn’t help but think that this miscarriage was entirely his fault. She would never forgive him.
When Addison awoke, her entire body ached and she generally felt like crap. She wasn’t certain of where she was, but she recognized her surroundings and the unmistakable smell of the hospital, memories came rushing back and she began to panic. She tried to move her hands to her stomach, which was when she realized that her right hand was clasped tightly in Mark’s, despite the fact that he had fallen asleep. She slapped him with her free arm, wincing in pain at the sudden twisting movement of her mid-section. She bit her lower lip and blinked rapidly to keep tears of pain from falling.
Mark awoke with a start to the sudden pain in his left arm. He hadn’t known that he had dozed off until she woke him up. He looked at her cautiously, uncertain as to if a doctor had come in to tell her anything or how pissed she was at him.
“Would you mind letting me have the circulation to my fingers back?” she growled, at which point Mark realized that he was still holding her hand. He quickly let her hand go and she pulled back as if she had been burned. The pair looked at each other wordlessly for several moments, neither entirely sure what to say. Finally, Mark broke the silence.
“Listen, Addison, I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now, but I have to say it. I am so sorry about everything that happened earlier. I…I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. The only reason that I came out here was that I care about you and I was worried about you. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I’m not angry with you. The last thing that I wanted to do was scare you.”
Addison regarded Mark with glassy eyes. She believed that he hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but if his rage was that uncontrollable, she had no idea what he was capable of. A tear fell from her right eye, and she swiped at it furiously, jarring the IV in her arm, which caused her to grimace. She tried to speak, but her throat was dry and the words seemed lost in her throat. She lay there, open-mouthed, not knowing what to say. She cleared her throat and decided to change the topic.
“Mark…the baby…what happened?” she asked hoarsely, terror evident on her face. The moment that his eyes met hers, she knew. She moved away from him, horrified, disbelieving. She had known that the mortality rate of a baby whose mother was her age was significantly increased, but she had never thought that this would happen. She had kept this child partially because she thought that it could be her last chance, but she had never considered what would happen if she lost this baby.
Addison’s grief was inconsolable, and Mark wished that there were something more that he could do. As he watched the woman that he loved falling to pieces and sobbing harder than he had ever witnessed, his heart shattered completely. He figured that since he had caused all of this, the best thing that he could do was to leave her alone. He stood up and began to leave the room.
“Where are you going?” she asked, panicked, through body-wracking sobs, the prospect of his absence causing the pain and pressure on her chest to increase so much that she practically began to choke. He turned around hesitantly.
“I thought you would want me to leave. I haven’t done anything but cause problems for you.” She sat up quickly, regretting the decision immediately as she sharply drew in a breath. He saw the fear in her eyes and was instantly by her side again, awkwardly patting her shoulder as she sobbed. She reached out for his hand and clamped her own onto it as though her life depended on it. He couldn’t feel his fingers, but in that moment, he couldn’t have cared less. She needed him and that was all that mattered.
rating: pg-13
summary: the story continues...
disclaimer: you know the drill.
previous chapters on ffn
Previously:
Going into the room, he hadn’t known what to expect, but nothing could have prepared him for the emotional reaction that he had to seeing Addison lying in a pool of blood. Slipping into doctor mode, he detected a slight pulse and faint signs of respiration. At first glance he had only detected the blood pooling by her head, but after a more thorough inspection, his heart broke as he discovered the blood between her legs. He wasn’t sure if his heart broke more for her or for himself. He knew that medically there was nothing that could be done for a child that small and defenseless. He didn’t know if they would be strong enough to form a relationship in the wake of this tragedy, or if she would even want to see him again. She would probably blame him for this, assuming that she made it through this. He blamed himself for the fact that this happened-he should have just called. Coming out here had been a mistake, and because of that mistake, he could potentially be losing everything that mattered to him.
The story continues:
The entire ride to the hospital was hell for Mark. Once the doctors had taken over her had allowed himself to fall into the role of concerned…whatever he was to her. Everything was a blur of movement and flashing lights, and he was unable to process what was happening. He tried as hard as he could to keep his mind logical and go through the medical steps that needed to be taken in order to ensure Addison’s safety, but all he could do was worry about her. If anything happened to Addison, he didn’t know what he would do with himself. He probably wouldn’t be able to survive losing her. He was upset about the baby as well, but for the most part, the only reason that it even registered in his mind was that Addison wanted to have a child so badly. He wished that he had told her that he loved her before this happened, that he hadn’t scared her and caused her grief. He couldn’t help but think that this miscarriage was entirely his fault. She would never forgive him.
When Addison awoke, her entire body ached and she generally felt like crap. She wasn’t certain of where she was, but she recognized her surroundings and the unmistakable smell of the hospital, memories came rushing back and she began to panic. She tried to move her hands to her stomach, which was when she realized that her right hand was clasped tightly in Mark’s, despite the fact that he had fallen asleep. She slapped him with her free arm, wincing in pain at the sudden twisting movement of her mid-section. She bit her lower lip and blinked rapidly to keep tears of pain from falling.
Mark awoke with a start to the sudden pain in his left arm. He hadn’t known that he had dozed off until she woke him up. He looked at her cautiously, uncertain as to if a doctor had come in to tell her anything or how pissed she was at him.
“Would you mind letting me have the circulation to my fingers back?” she growled, at which point Mark realized that he was still holding her hand. He quickly let her hand go and she pulled back as if she had been burned. The pair looked at each other wordlessly for several moments, neither entirely sure what to say. Finally, Mark broke the silence.
“Listen, Addison, I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now, but I have to say it. I am so sorry about everything that happened earlier. I…I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. The only reason that I came out here was that I care about you and I was worried about you. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I’m not angry with you. The last thing that I wanted to do was scare you.”
Addison regarded Mark with glassy eyes. She believed that he hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but if his rage was that uncontrollable, she had no idea what he was capable of. A tear fell from her right eye, and she swiped at it furiously, jarring the IV in her arm, which caused her to grimace. She tried to speak, but her throat was dry and the words seemed lost in her throat. She lay there, open-mouthed, not knowing what to say. She cleared her throat and decided to change the topic.
“Mark…the baby…what happened?” she asked hoarsely, terror evident on her face. The moment that his eyes met hers, she knew. She moved away from him, horrified, disbelieving. She had known that the mortality rate of a baby whose mother was her age was significantly increased, but she had never thought that this would happen. She had kept this child partially because she thought that it could be her last chance, but she had never considered what would happen if she lost this baby.
Addison’s grief was inconsolable, and Mark wished that there were something more that he could do. As he watched the woman that he loved falling to pieces and sobbing harder than he had ever witnessed, his heart shattered completely. He figured that since he had caused all of this, the best thing that he could do was to leave her alone. He stood up and began to leave the room.
“Where are you going?” she asked, panicked, through body-wracking sobs, the prospect of his absence causing the pain and pressure on her chest to increase so much that she practically began to choke. He turned around hesitantly.
“I thought you would want me to leave. I haven’t done anything but cause problems for you.” She sat up quickly, regretting the decision immediately as she sharply drew in a breath. He saw the fear in her eyes and was instantly by her side again, awkwardly patting her shoulder as she sobbed. She reached out for his hand and clamped her own onto it as though her life depended on it. He couldn’t feel his fingers, but in that moment, he couldn’t have cared less. She needed him and that was all that mattered.