"Almost There, Going Nowhere."
Part: 1/?
Pairing: Maddison
Summary: Post Season 3. Addison leaves for L.A. hoping that no one will get in her way of finding a new life.
Rating: Harmless for now.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Enjoy!
A/N: Thanks to my wonderful beta
escapismrocks
for helping me fix the little quirks. This is my first ever attempt at something long over here on this board. As such I am welcome to anything anyone is willing to offer up for me in the way of criticism or praise. So in short, tell me what you think. Thanks!
~-~-~-~-~-~
There’s been too many days of trying
But did you try enough?
Because at the end of the day
All those words you meant to say
Still were used thoughts
- Jeniferever, "Closing In"
She watches him hastily make his exit out the back door of the church. Well… at least you got one thing accomplished today. Maybe he will be happier with her…. No one wants me… oh stop it.. Pull yourself together… this is nothing new. She thinks to herself as she attempts to keep her fingernails from picking at the peeling lacquer of the hard pew bench. She sees Burke stroll down the aisle as someone leans over to her and says, “Well this should be interesting.”
“Maybe”. She replies and returns to scuffing up the pew. Incredibly “unladylike” as her mother would have put it, but she doesn’t feel the need to be ladylike today. Today has been one helluva (for lack of a better word that she can’t find) day. The first task of saving twins while under extreme strain from Dr. Burke to hurry up the pace was slightly daunting, but the real pressure came later when she couldn’t save her mentor’s child. And the icing on the cake was his informal, albeit, a well meaning speech about taking a job to get a life. She sees Meredith walk painstakingly slow up the aisle with no one behind her.
“Its over, you can all go home now.” Her small voice squeaks as she fidgets with her hands.
“Told you." The voice beside her rises again. She reaches for her purse and begins to stand in the middle of Meredith’s speech, because honestly she couldn’t care less about what the anorexic child had to say about the current situation. All she knows is that now she is going to be left with alone her thoughts for the night, and that is frightening enough.
“Great, well there goes my entertainment for the night.” A familiar voice behind her booms. She turns to see the one and only, manwhore extraordinaire pacing up towards her row.
“Mine too.” She stands and begins to file out of the room with everyone except Meredith and a noticeably grief stricken Derek. She is still in the midst of pretending it doesn’t hurt to see them together so she rushes out quickly.
“We should go grab a drink, make our own reception.” He smirks and extends his hand to place on the small of her back.
“I don’t think so. I need to… go…. Do something.” She turns around surprised at his sudden pressure from his hand.
“Convincing Addie, real convincing.” They exit and make their way out of the lobby doors and towards the flock of parked cars. “At least let me share a cab with you back to the hotel?”
“I have my own wheels, thanks.” She grins as she produces the keys from her purse and jangles them in front of his face.
“Is that legal? You are the worst driver in the world. You might want to let me handle that so you don’t die in a car accident caused by your inability to-”
“I can drive. See you tomorrow.” She begins to head for her new car and notices him tagging along a few steps behind her. “What? What do you want now?”
“Oh… I have to see the masterful machine that got you back behind the wheel. You didn’t think that I was just going to walk away did you?” He picks up his pace and cuts in close by her side as a car drives awkwardly out of the mess that has developed.
“Fine. There.” She points to the tiny red convertible parked under the shade of a large tree.
“That?” he asks suddenly slack-jawed.
“Yes, that is my car. Now stop before you even start that way I don’t have to waste my breath countering on an argument that doesn’t even need to happen.” She waves her hands ambiguously in the air as they continue on their walk to her newest possession.
“I never pegged you as a sports car fanatic. Let’s see how this baby handles.” He grabs the keys from her hand before she can even begin to protest.
“Mark! I have things to do, things better than screwing around with you in my car.” She quickly begins striding towards him in her black 4-inch heels.
“Funny you should use the term screwing, because that one night in the bar… well I thought we were friends without benefits, but geez Addison if you want I guess we could-”
“Stop! This is insane, you know what I meant. Now give me my keys so I can leave you standing here like the fool you are.” She tries again to get the keys away from him but he holds them above her head just slightly out of her reach.
“How old are we? Four? Give me the keys!”
“You know how I feel about bossy.” He remarks while gently turning her around and pressing her against the red hood that is glimmering in the surprising sun.
She begins to grow flustered by his touch, and before she can control it her cheeks are red and warm. “I…We…No, give me the keys.” He quickly moves away from her inviting body and slides into the driver’s seat. He starts the engine and as it catches and roars to life she jumps off the hood and walks toward the passenger’s side. “You get twenty minutes, and that is it. I have things to do Mark.”
A slow smile begins to creep over his face as he negotiates out into the traffic. “Like me?” He watches her squirm in the passenger seat and decides that he probably deserves whatever she did with Karev. All he has ever done is shown her the million reasons why they can’t work. As he merges onto the highway to “open her up” his mood shifts and he decides to show her a side of him he usually reserves for himself. “Listen Addison, all cheating aside during our bet I really-
“Don’t bother Mark. It’s us. We never work, but we always sound like an awfully good idea. I’m not mad, you aren’t mad. Let’s leave it how it is now and just stay friends.” She begins to stick her hand out the window as the wind catches her hair and pulls it back behind her. He watches for a moment as she makes small wave motions and simply nods. If anything it should be easier this way, but nothing is ever easy where Addison is concerned. Hell he managed to move across the country into the land of torrential downpours, get walking pneumonia, be hated by everyone, screw half a dozen nurses, be completely miserable, and in the end he would do it all again if she asked.
“I know we never work, but we haven’t exactly tried as hard as we could have.” He remarks while changing lanes.
“I’m moving.” She manages to blurt out from her viewpoint and is too deftly afraid to turn and see the look on his face. She tries strenuously to keep her emotions in check as he heads toward an off-ramp.
“Moving? Like into a house or an apartment? Do you need help moving? I am not sure if you noticed but these muscles are pretty handy at more than just holding a scalpel.” He turns into a deserted parking lot against the shoulder of the road.
“No… I am moving… to L.A.” She quietly and uncomfortably tenses as he begins to ask the questions she has no desire to answer. “I would appreciate if you didn’t say anything to anyone. Richard knows, and I wasn’t going to tell anyone else but-”
“You weren’t going to tell me! It was just going to be like one day I show up at work and the one person I left everything for and got nothing except rained on is mysteriously missing?” Growing agitated is not something he likes to do, but this woman has always had some sort of secret power over him, and he can’t control his words or actions. “You think that leaving is going to fix everything that is so miraculously wrong in your life? Pulling a Derek doesn’t fix a damn thing Addison and you know it.”
She was expecting this sort of reaction, but it still shocks her a little how much he can still care… and still manage to bring up the affair. She turns away from his angry face. “I wasn’t going to pull a Derek. Richard knows.”
“The chief in New York knew too, but that didn’t stop him from saying he had no idea where he had disappeared to. Why are you doing this? You have something here, your job, and your friends, why can’t you just start over here?” His questions have lost their intensity and have grown quiet and curious.
“I have nothing here except the constant aching reminder of everything that I have done wrong in the last 12 years. How would you like to have that looking you in the face every waking minute? Friends you say? What friends Mark? The ones that talk behind my back or the ones that are too afraid to ever do anything with me outside of the hospital because I am their boss?” She laughs a little at her own comment for dramatic purposes and then presses on. “A great group they are. Oh… and I suppose I have the rain, but then again I have to share that with every other inhabitant of the god forsaken city.”
He lets her finish her little speech that he is sure she had been planning in case the situation ever arose. He gives her a second to breathe in the warm air of the summer before causally remarking, “You have me.”
“Which leaves me with a whole lot of nothing.” Her words echo through his head as he starts the car again and heads for the hotel. Maybe she is right, and maybe he is nothing to her now. But he knows that what they shared, when they shared. It was the farthest thing from nothing that he had ever experienced, and now in the face of losing it all he pulls a classic Mark Sloan and says little to refute her desires and everything to ensure that she leaves as fast as she can pack her bags.
~-~-~-~-~-~
Part 2: Dancing in circles, making me sick.
Pairing: Maddison
Summary: Post Season 3. Addison leaves for L.A. hoping that no one will get in her way of finding a new life.
Rating: Harmless for now.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Enjoy!
A/N: Thanks to my wonderful beta
escapismrocks
for helping me fix the little quirks. This is my first ever attempt at something long over here on this board. As such I am welcome to anything anyone is willing to offer up for me in the way of criticism or praise. So in short, tell me what you think. Thanks!
~-~-~-~-~-~
There’s been too many days of trying
But did you try enough?
Because at the end of the day
All those words you meant to say
Still were used thoughts
- Jeniferever, "Closing In"
She watches him hastily make his exit out the back door of the church. Well… at least you got one thing accomplished today. Maybe he will be happier with her…. No one wants me… oh stop it.. Pull yourself together… this is nothing new. She thinks to herself as she attempts to keep her fingernails from picking at the peeling lacquer of the hard pew bench. She sees Burke stroll down the aisle as someone leans over to her and says, “Well this should be interesting.”
“Maybe”. She replies and returns to scuffing up the pew. Incredibly “unladylike” as her mother would have put it, but she doesn’t feel the need to be ladylike today. Today has been one helluva (for lack of a better word that she can’t find) day. The first task of saving twins while under extreme strain from Dr. Burke to hurry up the pace was slightly daunting, but the real pressure came later when she couldn’t save her mentor’s child. And the icing on the cake was his informal, albeit, a well meaning speech about taking a job to get a life. She sees Meredith walk painstakingly slow up the aisle with no one behind her.
“Its over, you can all go home now.” Her small voice squeaks as she fidgets with her hands.
“Told you." The voice beside her rises again. She reaches for her purse and begins to stand in the middle of Meredith’s speech, because honestly she couldn’t care less about what the anorexic child had to say about the current situation. All she knows is that now she is going to be left with alone her thoughts for the night, and that is frightening enough.
“Great, well there goes my entertainment for the night.” A familiar voice behind her booms. She turns to see the one and only, manwhore extraordinaire pacing up towards her row.
“Mine too.” She stands and begins to file out of the room with everyone except Meredith and a noticeably grief stricken Derek. She is still in the midst of pretending it doesn’t hurt to see them together so she rushes out quickly.
“We should go grab a drink, make our own reception.” He smirks and extends his hand to place on the small of her back.
“I don’t think so. I need to… go…. Do something.” She turns around surprised at his sudden pressure from his hand.
“Convincing Addie, real convincing.” They exit and make their way out of the lobby doors and towards the flock of parked cars. “At least let me share a cab with you back to the hotel?”
“I have my own wheels, thanks.” She grins as she produces the keys from her purse and jangles them in front of his face.
“Is that legal? You are the worst driver in the world. You might want to let me handle that so you don’t die in a car accident caused by your inability to-”
“I can drive. See you tomorrow.” She begins to head for her new car and notices him tagging along a few steps behind her. “What? What do you want now?”
“Oh… I have to see the masterful machine that got you back behind the wheel. You didn’t think that I was just going to walk away did you?” He picks up his pace and cuts in close by her side as a car drives awkwardly out of the mess that has developed.
“Fine. There.” She points to the tiny red convertible parked under the shade of a large tree.
“That?” he asks suddenly slack-jawed.
“Yes, that is my car. Now stop before you even start that way I don’t have to waste my breath countering on an argument that doesn’t even need to happen.” She waves her hands ambiguously in the air as they continue on their walk to her newest possession.
“I never pegged you as a sports car fanatic. Let’s see how this baby handles.” He grabs the keys from her hand before she can even begin to protest.
“Mark! I have things to do, things better than screwing around with you in my car.” She quickly begins striding towards him in her black 4-inch heels.
“Funny you should use the term screwing, because that one night in the bar… well I thought we were friends without benefits, but geez Addison if you want I guess we could-”
“Stop! This is insane, you know what I meant. Now give me my keys so I can leave you standing here like the fool you are.” She tries again to get the keys away from him but he holds them above her head just slightly out of her reach.
“How old are we? Four? Give me the keys!”
“You know how I feel about bossy.” He remarks while gently turning her around and pressing her against the red hood that is glimmering in the surprising sun.
She begins to grow flustered by his touch, and before she can control it her cheeks are red and warm. “I…We…No, give me the keys.” He quickly moves away from her inviting body and slides into the driver’s seat. He starts the engine and as it catches and roars to life she jumps off the hood and walks toward the passenger’s side. “You get twenty minutes, and that is it. I have things to do Mark.”
A slow smile begins to creep over his face as he negotiates out into the traffic. “Like me?” He watches her squirm in the passenger seat and decides that he probably deserves whatever she did with Karev. All he has ever done is shown her the million reasons why they can’t work. As he merges onto the highway to “open her up” his mood shifts and he decides to show her a side of him he usually reserves for himself. “Listen Addison, all cheating aside during our bet I really-
“Don’t bother Mark. It’s us. We never work, but we always sound like an awfully good idea. I’m not mad, you aren’t mad. Let’s leave it how it is now and just stay friends.” She begins to stick her hand out the window as the wind catches her hair and pulls it back behind her. He watches for a moment as she makes small wave motions and simply nods. If anything it should be easier this way, but nothing is ever easy where Addison is concerned. Hell he managed to move across the country into the land of torrential downpours, get walking pneumonia, be hated by everyone, screw half a dozen nurses, be completely miserable, and in the end he would do it all again if she asked.
“I know we never work, but we haven’t exactly tried as hard as we could have.” He remarks while changing lanes.
“I’m moving.” She manages to blurt out from her viewpoint and is too deftly afraid to turn and see the look on his face. She tries strenuously to keep her emotions in check as he heads toward an off-ramp.
“Moving? Like into a house or an apartment? Do you need help moving? I am not sure if you noticed but these muscles are pretty handy at more than just holding a scalpel.” He turns into a deserted parking lot against the shoulder of the road.
“No… I am moving… to L.A.” She quietly and uncomfortably tenses as he begins to ask the questions she has no desire to answer. “I would appreciate if you didn’t say anything to anyone. Richard knows, and I wasn’t going to tell anyone else but-”
“You weren’t going to tell me! It was just going to be like one day I show up at work and the one person I left everything for and got nothing except rained on is mysteriously missing?” Growing agitated is not something he likes to do, but this woman has always had some sort of secret power over him, and he can’t control his words or actions. “You think that leaving is going to fix everything that is so miraculously wrong in your life? Pulling a Derek doesn’t fix a damn thing Addison and you know it.”
She was expecting this sort of reaction, but it still shocks her a little how much he can still care… and still manage to bring up the affair. She turns away from his angry face. “I wasn’t going to pull a Derek. Richard knows.”
“The chief in New York knew too, but that didn’t stop him from saying he had no idea where he had disappeared to. Why are you doing this? You have something here, your job, and your friends, why can’t you just start over here?” His questions have lost their intensity and have grown quiet and curious.
“I have nothing here except the constant aching reminder of everything that I have done wrong in the last 12 years. How would you like to have that looking you in the face every waking minute? Friends you say? What friends Mark? The ones that talk behind my back or the ones that are too afraid to ever do anything with me outside of the hospital because I am their boss?” She laughs a little at her own comment for dramatic purposes and then presses on. “A great group they are. Oh… and I suppose I have the rain, but then again I have to share that with every other inhabitant of the god forsaken city.”
He lets her finish her little speech that he is sure she had been planning in case the situation ever arose. He gives her a second to breathe in the warm air of the summer before causally remarking, “You have me.”
“Which leaves me with a whole lot of nothing.” Her words echo through his head as he starts the car again and heads for the hotel. Maybe she is right, and maybe he is nothing to her now. But he knows that what they shared, when they shared. It was the farthest thing from nothing that he had ever experienced, and now in the face of losing it all he pulls a classic Mark Sloan and says little to refute her desires and everything to ensure that she leaves as fast as she can pack her bags.
~-~-~-~-~-~
Part 2: Dancing in circles, making me sick.