(no subject)
Title: Ready For A Fall (23/?)
Author: Chelle Storey-Daniel
Rating: NC17 (but only vaguely)
Pairing: Addison/Mark, Callie/George, Callie/Alex, George/Izzie, Meredith/Derek
Summary: Sometimes it hurts to fall, but if you're lucky someone may catch you. And they may be falling, too.
A/N: This fic almost came to a screeching halt. I was so horribly blocked that I was ready to delete it and forget about it. The beautiful and talented _nigella_ made sure I didn't. She contributed much to this part. I hope you like it. _nigella_, I deviated from the original concept, though. Because these characters do their own thing and I've stopped trying to make them behave. ;)
*cries*
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Nine
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Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty Two
*~*~*~*~*
All our lives we search for someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance the song of heartbreak and hope all the while, wondering if somewhere, somehow there is someone searching for us.
*~*~*~*~*
Mark escorted Addison to her hotel room after the party. He lingered over kissing her in the hallway and when she unlocked the door, he cradled her arm and pulled her back into him for another kiss before he whispered, "Good night."
"Yes, it is." Gripping the lapels of his jacket, she pulled him into the room and kicked the door shut behind them. She shoved his jacket over his arms and threw it onto the table.
He raised his eyebrows. "So, you’re finished with your-"
Addison responded by unzipping her dress and letting it pool at her feet. She wore a black Teddy underneath, strapless and body hugging. "It’s done. And I have been frustrated, humiliated, and now I’m hairless. I gave you bone dry cappuccino and -"
"Hairless?"
Slowly, with her eyes never leaving his face, she untied the laces on the front of her lingerie and eased it down her body. She stood before him, bare and *hairless* and smiled when he swallowed hard and gazed up and down her body. "Well?"
"I liked the heart. It proved you had one."
Addison closed her eyes in aggravation and said, "Could you stop talking and start touching me?"
"I don’t know. It’s late and I’m kinda tired."
She narrowed her eyes, watching as he ‘yawned’. It was so fake and exaggerated and infuriating that she would have shot him if she’d had a gun handy. "I have not had sex in a very long time. I’m sick of it. I’m disgusted by my lack of a sex life so take off your clothes before I destroy what happens to be a very nice suit."
Mark looked confused. "Wait, I thought that what I did to you the other day was sex. Granted, it was oral, but you said it was still sex."
"*Actual* sex, Mark. Can we get to it?"
His amusement was quickly fading. "I don’t think I like your tone."
Addison picked up the black purse that Callie had given her. She rummaged in the side pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, which she held up. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."
He took a step back and shook his head, stunned. "What the hell, Addison?"
"You’re giving it up or I’m taking it."
"Whoa!" He raised his arms above his head and out of her reach when she tried to slip the handcuff on his wrist. "Okay, number one, bondage is only fun when both parties are into it and number two, I think I made it very clear that when we do have sex it’s going to be different. I’m going to make love to you and -"
"Can you just hold that thought for a little while and get down to business? If you want to ‘make love’," she said, rolling her eyes, "later then I’ll let you do whatever, but I have needs."
"Why are you trying so hard, Addison? Handcuffs? Not really you." He took them from her hand and threw them across the room. "And I have needs, too. The biggest one right now is to share something with you that doesn’t just involve getting off."
"Okay. Fine." She crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. "Share something, Mark."
"I’m not just here to service the girl."
"Since when?"
"Since when? Apparently when we swapped roles and I became the committed one and you became the whore."
Addison slapped him before she could stop herself and the sound of it echoed across the room, leaving a silence in its wake that was deafening. As quickly as her temper had come, it dissipated and she said, "I - I didn’t mean-"
"That’s twice now that you’ve slapped me. The first time was pretty amusing, I’ll give you that." He glared at her. "This time? The joke’s on you."
"What does that mean?"
"I’m not doing this anymore, Addison. I’ve done everything in my power to show you that I love you and want a life with you." He reached behind him and opened the door. "You call me a manwhore every chance you get, but you’re the only person who has ever made me feel like that’s all I am. Or will ever be."
"Mark-"
"We’re done. It’s over."
"No! Don’t -"
He stepped into the hallway and shut the door, drowning out her words. Addison stared at the closed door in shock. She turned away and saw that he had left his jacket. She picked it up and brought it to her nose, inhaling his cologne, then she slipped her arms into it and laid down on the bed.
She cried herself to sleep, feeling like his arms were around her.
And wondering if they ever would be again.
*~*~*~*~*~
Alex reached across the console at the red light and felt to make sure Callie had her seat belt on. He was not used to driving a car like her Mercedes and wondered, not for the first time, what the safety rating was. A horn honked behind them and he eased through the light, then took her hand in his. They had been separated after she sang by several of her uncles requesting a dance with her. Alex had danced with a string of older women who could still move with the beats despite their age. When the party finally ended, they had stood beside the doorway with Melana and Raphael thanking the guests, most of which pressed envelopes into their hands. Callie had stuffed them all into her purse before telling her parents good night.
"Hey," Alex said, tugging her hand a little. "Your family is great. I really liked everyone. Well, maybe not your Great Aunt Selene, but everyone else was amazing."
"What did Selene do?"
"She said that I should have been mad at you for calling me ‘jock strap’ in front of everyone and asked me if I understood what a jock strap was."
"What did you tell her?"
"I said no so that she would explain it to me."
Callie grinned at him. "She’s almost eighty years old so anything she said -"
"She said that you basically called me a cod sack holder and that you should be ashamed of yourself because your mouth is dirty. I think she may have called you a whore, too."
She burst out laughing and shook her head. "There’s a lot of that going around. I’m a ferret loving whore, apparently."
"Who said that?"
"It’s not important."
"Who said it, Cal?"
She sighed. "George."
He looked at her and then back at the road. "When was that?"
"I dunno. Addison literally kicked his ass for it while we were gone. And Izzie’s, too, because she had her own special names for me that didn’t involve my given one." Callie sighed. "Monday is going to be so much fun. Back at work, having to be professional. Having *Sydney* as our boss."
"We’re on the same shift, though. So, that’s good."
"Yeah."
Alex finally arrived at the cove and parked Callie’s car beside his jeep. The trail lights were off again, even though he was certain he had turned them on. "I don’t like this, Callie. It’s too dark out here."
"It’s like we’re in our own world, though."
They walked down the trail, relying on the dim solar powered lights and finally boarded the yacht. It was chilly and Callie shivered a little, adjusting the thermostat. She sat down on the sofa and unbuckled one of her shoes, then sighed with relief as she massaged her toes. "At least on Monday I can wear sneakers. All day. All week, actually."
He smiled and sat beside her, pulling her legs into his lap. Taking her other shoe off, he rubbed her foot and watched as she bit her lip. Their eyes met and he moved to her ankle, kneading the marks that had been left by her high heel. "I’m sorry that I made you cry."
"I’m sorry that I made you think I’d leave you." She shook her head and leaned back, propping herself on her elbows. "I didn’t even realize that I was doing it or that - that I was giving you so many reasons to doubt me."
"Don’t."
"I’m never gonna make you feel that way again. I am *not* a flier, Alex."
"Yes, you are." He slipped his hand behind her calf, still rubbing. "You’re a pilot and that was what you wanted to be instead of a doctor. So, I’ll take flier because I don’t want you to change who you are. For anyone. Just - just make sure that you tell me ahead of time that you’re going."
"I won’t have to. Because you’ll be with me."
"You gonna teach me how to fly the plane?"
"Not on your life." Callie jumped when he tickled the back of her knee, then hissed when he moved to the front of her thigh, kneading, massaging. It was like a current of electricity went straight to her core. "Alex?"
"Hmm?"
"Let me see the Speedo."
"I’m in the middle of something here."
"You can be in the middle of a lot more if you let me see it."
"Patience is not your strong suit."
"You wouldn’t show it to me earlier. I’d say I’m very patient." She sat up suddenly, her mouth open. "You didn’t wear it, did you?!"
"Yes, I did. Why do you think I was in such a bad mood?"
"Then prove it." She pulled her legs off his lap and reached for the waist of his pants.
He gently smacked her hand away and shook his head. "Ah ah ah. Like I said, I was in the middle of something. Stand up."
Callie shot him a look, but got to her feet. Alex stood in front of her and untied the top of her dress, letting it fall from around her neck. Her breasts were bare underneath and he touched one dusky nipple, then the other. Reaching behind her, he found the zipper and slid it down, then lifted her dress over her head instead of letting it fall to the floor. He gently laid it over the arm of the couch and said, "You will give me a lap dance in that later."
"I already did that once tonight. We were late to the party, remember."
"That dress is vulgar and sacred."
Callie grinned at him. "So are you."
"We haven’t enjoyed the mirrors on the ceiling in the starboard room yet. Why don’t you go in there and wait for me?"
"What are you doing?"
"I forgot something in the car."
Callie nodded and watched him walk up the steps. She went to her bathroom and freshened up. As she laid her panties in the hamper she realized exactly what he had gone to the car to retrieve. She walked, naked, down the hallway. Alex was coming back down the stairs and he stopped, enjoying the view. She leaned back against the door of the secondary bedroom and raised a brow. "You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think that you went outside to put the Speedo on. Because you didn’t wear it."
"That’s what you get for thinking," he told her. Smiling, he pulled a small bottle from his pocket and tossed it to her. "I do believe you mentioned massage oil and deep tissue."
"Strawberry," she said, glancing at the label. "I’m not letting you put this on me until you drop your pants, Alex."
With a resigned look of defeat, he pulled his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt. After removing it and the t-shirt he wore under it, he unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants. With his hand on the zipper, he said, "This is humiliating. I just want you to know that."
She licked her lips and nodded. "Go on."
He slid his zipper down and let her see the top of the black Speedo. "Happy?"
"All the way, Alex."
He shoved his pants to his ankles and stood, hands on his hips. Callie gazed at the Speedo with a wicked smile on her face. They fit snug and the apparent bulge in the front of them made her mouth water. She unscrewed the cap on the oil and slipped her finger along the rim, tasting it. "Mmm, it’s good. Sweet. Wanna taste?"
"Callie-"
She tipped the bottle and let oil drip onto her breasts, which she rubbed into her skin very, very slowly. Her eyes never leaving his, she poured a little more into her hand and slipped her fingers between her thighs. "And very wet."
Alex started toward her, forgetting that his feet were still tangled in his pants. He fell face first onto the floor of the salon. Callie was laughing, a deep throaty sound and he yanked off his shoes, ripped off his pants and had her flat on her back on the bed in the starboard room before she knew what had happened.
She gazed up at the mirror, watching as he licked a path between her breasts and settled between her thighs.
It was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced.
So she made sure to return the favor a little while later.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Hello?"
"Calliope, your mother and I are here to see the yacht," Raphael said. "Come and let us in."
"What time is it?"
"Ten a.m.. Are you still in bed?"
Callie grinned. "Uh, yeah. I’ll be there in a second."
Alex rolled onto his back and yawned. "Who is it?"
She told him and he shot to his feet, searching for clothing. He glanced at his watch and raced from the room. He returned a moment later with her robe, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She stood, calmly arched her back, and kissed him. "Stop freaking."
"Right."
Callie pulled her robe on and ran a hand through her hair. "Come on."
Melana and Raphael studied the yacht and if they were shocked to see the aftermath of what had clearly been a very enjoyable night for their daughter, neither commented. Alex hastily tossed his pants, the ones that were still in the middle of the salon floor, into the corner and smiled at Melana. She patted his cheek and walked past him, glancing at the starboard bedroom, then the bathroom. She decided that Goon Docks was a glorious home.
Raphael did not agree. "It’s too small."
"It’s not too small, Daddy."
"You should have bought something bigger, safer."
"Even the Titanic sank."
Raphael accepted the cup of coffee Alex handed him and said, "This area is not safe. Cambyses told us about the lighting issue. It’s very remote out here and anything could go wrong. Especially on the nights that you’re alone."
"I agree," Alex replied. He saw the look that Callie shot him and hastily added, "I just think that it needs better lighting and -"
"A security guard. Are you renting this piece of property?" Raphael asked.
"Yes."
"Give me the name of the owner. I’ll have a guard shack erected in the parking area and make sure that someone is on duty around the clock."
"That’s really not necessary, Dad."
Melana sipped her own coffee and said, "You’re father is right. We’ll also add better lighting on the path and remodel the steps. They’re awfully steep."
Someone shouted outside the boat and Callie frowned. She stood up to head for the stairs, but Alex shook his head and went ahead of her. Callie followed, even though her father tried to stop her. Addison and Mark stood toe to toe on the deck, yelling their heads off.
"I have been friends with Callie longer than you have *known* Alex so-"
"That’s not true!" Mark bellowed. "I met him on my first day in the hospital and-"
"*I* am going on that boat and *you* can go take a swim!"
"You’re the one who needs the cold water, Addison, not me!"
"I got here first!"
"Only because you passed me in the driveway!"
Addison slapped him with her purse and the handcuffs fell out. She bent and retrieved them, then turned to the yacht, where Alex, Callie, and her parents were watching them intently. Tossing the handcuffs to Callie, she said, "They didn’t work."
Callie caught them, turned bright red when Melana cleared her throat, and stuffed them in the pocket of her robe. "What’s going on?"
"Mark broke up with me."
"I broke up with her because she’s a sex addict who treats me like a piece of meat."
"If the shoe fits!" Addison cried. "How long were you in town before you slept with Callie?"
Callie felt her father’s eyes on her and said, "Different Callie. Not me."
"She picked me up!" Mark shouted, pointing at Callie. "I tried to buy her a drink and she told me to bring it to her hotel room."
"Oh, right," Addison snapped. "She threw you over her shoulder? She breaks bones, Mark, but she’s not *that* strong."
"You had made it perfectly clear that you were staying with Derek! I came all the way across the country for you! I gave up my practice, I gave up my *life* to try to win you back and-"
"And I bet you slept with two stewardesses and half the passengers before you got to Seattle! And once you got here you slept with my best friend!"
"Not you?" Melana asked Callie, who was scarlet.
"We were not friends at the time!" Callie said.
"I was scared, Addison!" Mark continued, undaunted. "I was scared of the fact that I was in love with you so I made mistakes! And I’ve been trying for *months* to make amends for that and you just - you won’t even acknowledge the fact that I’ve been -"
"I’m sorry! I’m oh so sorry that you keeping your pants up for forty days is supposed to make me think you’re a reformed -"
"Manwhore? Are you really going to go there again?" Mark growled. "Are you gonna hit me again too?"
"I’d rather drown you. And oh, look, water!"
"Addison!" Callie interrupted. "Death threats! Witnesses!"
"He broke up with me!" Addison repeated and promptly burst into tears. "And he knows that I’m in love with him."
Melana frowned and said, "Addison, honey, why don’t the two of you come inside? It looks like it’s going to rain."
Raphael held out his hand and helped Addison onto the yacht. She finally saw Callie’s face and mouthed, ‘Sorry.’
Callie shot her a look of death and followed her mother and friend down the stairs. Raphael stayed topside with Alex and Mark. He looked from one to the other and both men knew what he was thinking. They had both been intimate with his daughter. Mark coughed into his hand and looked at Alex, imploring him to say something. Alex opened his mouth and quickly closed it again, oblivious to the fact that Raph was rapidly losing his glare and was enjoying their obvious discomfort.
Raph finally said, "Sit down."
Alex and Mark sat down fast, next to one another on the U shaped lounger. Raph sat on one end and sighed, "Women can be infuriating."
"Yes," Mark agreed. "They can."
"Let me impart a little wisdom to the two of you," Raph said.
Side by side, Alex and Mark listened intently.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Men are infuriating!" Melana said, pacing the length of Callie’s bedroom. She turned and looked at her daughter, who was patting Addison on the shoulder. The redhead had her face buried in toilet paper and was softly crying. She sat on her other side and put an arm around her. "There, there, dear."
"I just - I don’t get it. I was only trying to be seductive. Most guys would like that right?" Addison blew her nose again and looked at Callie. "I pulled the handcuffs out just like you said and he didn’t like it. It pissed him off."
Callie purposely avoided her mother’s eyes. "Well, what did you say when you showed them to him?"
"I told him we could do it the easy way or the hard way."
"Addison, that’s attempted rape!" Callie cried. "I told you to ask him if he wanted to play ‘good cop, bad cop’! You were supposed to do the whole ‘you have the right to remain silent, unless you’re screaming in pleasure’ thing."
"I didn’t hear that." Melana shook her head. She hugged Addison a little tighter and said, "You love him?"
"Yes! I destroyed my marriage to be with him!"
Melana looked at Callie over Addison’s head. "There seems to be a lot of that going around."
"No way! This is not about me! My marriage was destroyed before I started anything with Alex!" Callie tore off more toilet paper and handed it to Addison. "And so was yours, Addison. You said so. You said your marriage was broken when you slept with Mark."
"I know." She blew her nose, sounding like a fog horn. "I just can’t stop thinking about all the women and -"
"You have to stop punishing him, Addy," Callie put her hand on her friend’s when Addison lifted her head and glared at her. "You keep bringing up your marriage and how you screwed it up to be with him, but you didn’t. You’re just like me. You were floundering in a life that you weren’t meant to be in so you found someone who understood that. Don’t punish him for being the person you found and stop holding his past against him."
Addison blinked. "You stopped punishing George and he cheated again."
"No, George cheated again because I was torturing him by leaving town with Alex. George has sex when he’s stressed. That’s what he does. It’s his coping mechanism. He almost killed me with sex after his father died. I could barely walk for days." Callie looked at her mother. "You didn’t hear that either."
"I was just admiring the chandelier." Melana kept her eyes on the ceiling.
Callie handed Addison the roll of toilet paper and said, "I think Mark is the kinda guy who has never been loved. Not by anybody. I’m speaking from experience when I tell you that having someone love you enough to show it to you in everything that they do ... can change who you are. So if you’re going to love him then do it all the way. Because if you do it all the way then he’s not going to want to look anywhere else because he’ll be too busy looking at you."
"What did you do on your trip?" Addison rubbed at her nose. "Read a bunch of self help books?"
"No," Callie smiled at her. "I was too busy looking at Alex. And the fact that he could love *me* given all the baggage that I’m carrying ... it’s proof that you probably shouldn’t ignore fate."
"How do I know that Mark is my fate?"
Melana smiled a little. "Wherever fate commands you, you will go. It leads the willing and drags the unwilling. I believe I heard him say that he had followed you across the country. And do you really think it’s a coincidence that the two of you collided here today?"
There was a soft knock at the door and Callie called out for whoever it was to come in. Mark stepped into the bedroom and opened his mouth to speak. He closed it when he saw the state that Addison was in and walked across the room, kneeling in front of her. Melana stood, asking if Callie would show her the yacht’s engine. Callie nodded and they headed into the salon where Alex and Raphael were looking at the Disneyland photos from their trip.
Callie sat beside Alex and listened to him talk about Chinatown and Alcatraz. He reminded her that they needed to get the photos developed and she nodded. "I have to go and pack my stuff at the Archfield so I’ll drop the film off at the one hour photo place."
"Cam and Blake already took care of the packing." Raphael smiled at her. "Your belongings are in our suite. I’ll have them bring everything tonight if that’s okay."
"Not that I’m not grateful, but why did they pack for me? They didn’t have to do that."
"Because you don’t need to go back there, honey." Mel shrugged. "The best way for the past to stay in the past is to not revisit it. And judging from the state that the room was in, I can only imagine that you don’t have fond memories there."
Callie remembered the stains on the carpet and walls from George tossing the wine bottle. "Not so much."
"We paid to have it repainted and the carpet replaced."
"Sorry," Callie replied, shaking her head. "I - I was gonna take care of it."
"Don’t worry about it, honey." Raphael picked up one of the photos and showed it to Melana, who insisted that she be allowed to keep it.
"That’s fine." Callie nodded, looking back and forth between her parents. "How long are you staying here in Seattle?"
"Are you ready for us to leave?" Melana asked.
"No. I’m actually not. I’m just curious."
Raphael leaned back on the sofa and said, "I need to know what day you want the media outlets to arrive. I’ve got Fox, CNN, and MSNBC on standby to cover the Jane Doe story."
"Ava’s not awake yet. I called the hospital earlier and she’s still down so I think it would be best to have the new’s crew arrive after she wakes up. Even if no one recognizes her face they could recognize her voice."
Alex looked shocked. "Wait, you were serious about the this?"
"Yeah."
"I shouldn’t really be shocked because you’re clearly resourceful as hell, but how did you do this?"
Callie put her hand on his. "My dad is the resourceful one. All I did was ask."
*~*~*~*~*~
Mark said nothing for a while. He simply stayed on his knees in front of her, waiting for her to calm down. When she sobbed a little harder, he moved to sit beside her on the bed and hugged her. She smelled good. She always smelled good. He had stayed in the Brownstone in New York for three weeks after she left him and he had never taken another woman to their bed. After three weeks, her pillow had stopped smelling like her so he returned to his place, but he still went back several times because she left so much of herself behind. He still had the ivory hair clip she had worn in her hair the day she told him she was going to Seattle.
The clip was currently in his pocket, where it could almost always be found and he leaned back a little, pulling it out. "I gave this to you for your birthday. Remember?"
Addison dried her eyes and gazed at the clip. "I thought I lost it."
"No. It came out of your hair while we were fighting over your suitcase. The day you left me."
//
A horn blared, cutting across the shouts in the Brownstone.
"Let go. Mark, I’m going!"
"Addison, don’t do this. Don’t."
"The cab is waiting! Let go!" Addison renewed her struggles for the bag and he angrily released his hold, causing her to stumble back against the bed. Her hair fell around her face and she brushed it out of her eyes. "Richard said that he’s with an *intern*."
"And you’re with me! Who cares?"
"No. No, I can’t do this anymore. Derek is -"
"Gone. Derek’s gone! He got as far away from you as he could get! We’re happy! Addison, we’re happy together! We have problems, but I swear to God that I can-"
"You slept with that woman!"
"Because you aborted my child! I was pissed! Why the hell do you think I told you?"
She got to her feet and stared at him. "We were not ready for a baby and you know that."
"No, *you* were not ready for a baby. I went shopping for the kid while you got rid of it!"
The cab blew the horn again and Addison shifted the suitcase from one hand to the other. "We never would have worked."
"We’ve been working just fine! I love you! I love you even though-"
"Stop! Do not blame me for this! I needed you here after I - after I terminated the pregnancy and -"
"You called me while I was at the gym and told me what you had done! Do you know what I had been doing? I had been telling everyone that I was going to be a daddy!"
"And you got me back, didn’t you!? You called me and told me that you had fucked your-"
The cab honked again and Mark said, "Stay. Stay, Addison. We can fix this!"
"I’m going. I - I have to go."
"Why?"
"Because he’s my husband!"
"He stopped being your husband when he married his job, Addison! I’m the one who was always here!"
She grabbed her purse and hurried down the stairs. He was hot on her heels, close enough for her to feel his breath. Opening the door, she stepped over the threshold and looked back at him. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything."
"Then stay."
Addison faltered briefly, torn between chasing after an old dream or embracing a new one. He saw it, he read her like a book and kissed her. She didn’t try to pull away. She kissed him back with the same ferocity. When they broke apart, she took a deep breath and said, "I loved you. I did."
"You still do," he replied.
"Goodbye, Mark."
"Addison, please! Please don’t do this!"
She hurried down the steps and yanked the car door open. She slipped into the seat and closed her eyes, listening to him shout that he would come find her.
That he would always come and find her.
//
Addison’s hand was shaking as the memory faded and she took the clip. Running her thumb over the intricate pattern, she recalled the circumstances surrounding the gift. "You brought it back from Thailand. You told me it was real Ivory and I said that you should be ashamed of yourself for killing an elephant to take its tusk."
He smiled. "I told you the elephant was already dying."
She sniffled and looked at him. "I was so scared for you when you went to Phuket. I watched the news around the clock, worrying about what you’d encounter after the tsunami. Derek thought I was crazy. He kept telling me that you’d be fine, that you would call us as soon as you could. I was so pissed at you for volunteering to go."
"I had never even thought about being with you at that time, but for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was there." He brushed her hair over her shoulder. "You and Derek were the only family I had, but I didn’t think about him. I saw your face in every single person I treated or pronounced dead."
"After you came back you stared coming around more. I noticed."
"I noticed things, too." he replied. "Like the fact that you were usually crying when you opened the door to let me in."
"My marriage was falling apart."
"But you kept chasing it anyway."
Addison’s eyes welled with fresh tears. "I should have stayed with you."
"I recall suggesting that."
She looked at him. "I’m sorry. For everything. For the baby and for the sex thing and -"
"Do you want to try this again?"
Her eyes widened hopefully. "What?"
"Us. You and me. Do you want to give it a real try?"
Addison nodded. "I do."
"Are you cold?"
"No, why?"
"Because you’re wearing my jacket from last night."
"It smells like you."
Mark smiled at her, leaning his forehead against hers. "I love you."
"I love you," she replied, then added, "And I hate you for making me feel *anything* at all because I don’t want to and it scares me and I can’t stop because -"
He silenced her with a kiss, cradling her face between his palms. When they finally broke apart, he dried her eyes and said, "Karev said that he went hiking with Callie on the other side of the cove the other day. He said that there’s a beautiful view of the city. Would you - do you want to take a walk, Addison?"
"Okay."
"And after we take a walk why don’t we go grab lunch and -"
"Not have sex," Addison interjected. "Because I want it to mean something too. And we’ll know when we should because neither one of us will be listening to our bodies at the time. We’ll be listening to our hearts."
"I’ve been listening to my heart for a while now, Addison." He touched her cheek. "It always takes me where you are."
Taking a deep breath, she got to her feet. "Let’s take that walk."
They found Alex and Callie on the sofa, playing a gory video game that was clearly intended for mature audiences. Callie paused it and handed them both a bottle of water when they said they were going for a hike. "Be careful. It’s really steep in parts."
"Where did your parents go?" Addison asked.
"Mom is hosting a poker party with my aunts."
"You don’t like poker?" Mark asked her.
Callie smiled. "My poker face is so good that they won’t let me play. I’m uninvited."
Addison gave her a hug and said, "I’ll apologize to your parents when I see them. How long are they staying?"
"A few more days and you don’t have to apologize. Believe me, they get freakin’ out over a guy. Cam used to do it every couple of weeks."
"Cam did, but you didn’t?" Addison asked.
"No. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was nineteen and by then I was away at college."
"You’re a late bloomer yet you know how to play ‘good cop, bad cop’?" Addison raised a brow.
"I rapidly made up for lost time."
"Uh." Alex put his arm around Callie. "Good cop, bad cop?"
Callie pulled the handcuffs out of the pocket of her robe and said, "You have the right to remain silent unless you’re screaming in pleasure."
Grinning, Alex glanced at Mark and pointed at the door. "You guys have fun on the trail. Try not to need us for at least an hour."
Mark laughed when Alex chased Callie down the hallway. "Not *that* is how you get both parties involved in bondage."
"I should take notes from her." Addison heard Callie shriek right after her bedroom door slammed.
"I took notes from her father."
"What do you mean?"
"He's a very wise man."
"You're not going to tell me what he said to you?"
"No. I'm not." He stepped up one of the steps. "But it was very eye opening. I needed to hear it. Ready?"
"Let’s go *walk*."
He chuckled. "We have to walk off your sexual frustration."
She shook her head. "No. We have to walk off the past. Together."
*~*~*~*~*~
Author: Chelle Storey-Daniel
Rating: NC17 (but only vaguely)
Pairing: Addison/Mark, Callie/George, Callie/Alex, George/Izzie, Meredith/Derek
Summary: Sometimes it hurts to fall, but if you're lucky someone may catch you. And they may be falling, too.
A/N: This fic almost came to a screeching halt. I was so horribly blocked that I was ready to delete it and forget about it. The beautiful and talented _nigella_ made sure I didn't. She contributed much to this part. I hope you like it. _nigella_, I deviated from the original concept, though. Because these characters do their own thing and I've stopped trying to make them behave. ;)
*cries*
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Nine
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Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty Two
*~*~*~*~*
All our lives we search for someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance the song of heartbreak and hope all the while, wondering if somewhere, somehow there is someone searching for us.
*~*~*~*~*
Mark escorted Addison to her hotel room after the party. He lingered over kissing her in the hallway and when she unlocked the door, he cradled her arm and pulled her back into him for another kiss before he whispered, "Good night."
"Yes, it is." Gripping the lapels of his jacket, she pulled him into the room and kicked the door shut behind them. She shoved his jacket over his arms and threw it onto the table.
He raised his eyebrows. "So, you’re finished with your-"
Addison responded by unzipping her dress and letting it pool at her feet. She wore a black Teddy underneath, strapless and body hugging. "It’s done. And I have been frustrated, humiliated, and now I’m hairless. I gave you bone dry cappuccino and -"
"Hairless?"
Slowly, with her eyes never leaving his face, she untied the laces on the front of her lingerie and eased it down her body. She stood before him, bare and *hairless* and smiled when he swallowed hard and gazed up and down her body. "Well?"
"I liked the heart. It proved you had one."
Addison closed her eyes in aggravation and said, "Could you stop talking and start touching me?"
"I don’t know. It’s late and I’m kinda tired."
She narrowed her eyes, watching as he ‘yawned’. It was so fake and exaggerated and infuriating that she would have shot him if she’d had a gun handy. "I have not had sex in a very long time. I’m sick of it. I’m disgusted by my lack of a sex life so take off your clothes before I destroy what happens to be a very nice suit."
Mark looked confused. "Wait, I thought that what I did to you the other day was sex. Granted, it was oral, but you said it was still sex."
"*Actual* sex, Mark. Can we get to it?"
His amusement was quickly fading. "I don’t think I like your tone."
Addison picked up the black purse that Callie had given her. She rummaged in the side pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, which she held up. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."
He took a step back and shook his head, stunned. "What the hell, Addison?"
"You’re giving it up or I’m taking it."
"Whoa!" He raised his arms above his head and out of her reach when she tried to slip the handcuff on his wrist. "Okay, number one, bondage is only fun when both parties are into it and number two, I think I made it very clear that when we do have sex it’s going to be different. I’m going to make love to you and -"
"Can you just hold that thought for a little while and get down to business? If you want to ‘make love’," she said, rolling her eyes, "later then I’ll let you do whatever, but I have needs."
"Why are you trying so hard, Addison? Handcuffs? Not really you." He took them from her hand and threw them across the room. "And I have needs, too. The biggest one right now is to share something with you that doesn’t just involve getting off."
"Okay. Fine." She crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. "Share something, Mark."
"I’m not just here to service the girl."
"Since when?"
"Since when? Apparently when we swapped roles and I became the committed one and you became the whore."
Addison slapped him before she could stop herself and the sound of it echoed across the room, leaving a silence in its wake that was deafening. As quickly as her temper had come, it dissipated and she said, "I - I didn’t mean-"
"That’s twice now that you’ve slapped me. The first time was pretty amusing, I’ll give you that." He glared at her. "This time? The joke’s on you."
"What does that mean?"
"I’m not doing this anymore, Addison. I’ve done everything in my power to show you that I love you and want a life with you." He reached behind him and opened the door. "You call me a manwhore every chance you get, but you’re the only person who has ever made me feel like that’s all I am. Or will ever be."
"Mark-"
"We’re done. It’s over."
"No! Don’t -"
He stepped into the hallway and shut the door, drowning out her words. Addison stared at the closed door in shock. She turned away and saw that he had left his jacket. She picked it up and brought it to her nose, inhaling his cologne, then she slipped her arms into it and laid down on the bed.
She cried herself to sleep, feeling like his arms were around her.
And wondering if they ever would be again.
*~*~*~*~*~
Alex reached across the console at the red light and felt to make sure Callie had her seat belt on. He was not used to driving a car like her Mercedes and wondered, not for the first time, what the safety rating was. A horn honked behind them and he eased through the light, then took her hand in his. They had been separated after she sang by several of her uncles requesting a dance with her. Alex had danced with a string of older women who could still move with the beats despite their age. When the party finally ended, they had stood beside the doorway with Melana and Raphael thanking the guests, most of which pressed envelopes into their hands. Callie had stuffed them all into her purse before telling her parents good night.
"Hey," Alex said, tugging her hand a little. "Your family is great. I really liked everyone. Well, maybe not your Great Aunt Selene, but everyone else was amazing."
"What did Selene do?"
"She said that I should have been mad at you for calling me ‘jock strap’ in front of everyone and asked me if I understood what a jock strap was."
"What did you tell her?"
"I said no so that she would explain it to me."
Callie grinned at him. "She’s almost eighty years old so anything she said -"
"She said that you basically called me a cod sack holder and that you should be ashamed of yourself because your mouth is dirty. I think she may have called you a whore, too."
She burst out laughing and shook her head. "There’s a lot of that going around. I’m a ferret loving whore, apparently."
"Who said that?"
"It’s not important."
"Who said it, Cal?"
She sighed. "George."
He looked at her and then back at the road. "When was that?"
"I dunno. Addison literally kicked his ass for it while we were gone. And Izzie’s, too, because she had her own special names for me that didn’t involve my given one." Callie sighed. "Monday is going to be so much fun. Back at work, having to be professional. Having *Sydney* as our boss."
"We’re on the same shift, though. So, that’s good."
"Yeah."
Alex finally arrived at the cove and parked Callie’s car beside his jeep. The trail lights were off again, even though he was certain he had turned them on. "I don’t like this, Callie. It’s too dark out here."
"It’s like we’re in our own world, though."
They walked down the trail, relying on the dim solar powered lights and finally boarded the yacht. It was chilly and Callie shivered a little, adjusting the thermostat. She sat down on the sofa and unbuckled one of her shoes, then sighed with relief as she massaged her toes. "At least on Monday I can wear sneakers. All day. All week, actually."
He smiled and sat beside her, pulling her legs into his lap. Taking her other shoe off, he rubbed her foot and watched as she bit her lip. Their eyes met and he moved to her ankle, kneading the marks that had been left by her high heel. "I’m sorry that I made you cry."
"I’m sorry that I made you think I’d leave you." She shook her head and leaned back, propping herself on her elbows. "I didn’t even realize that I was doing it or that - that I was giving you so many reasons to doubt me."
"Don’t."
"I’m never gonna make you feel that way again. I am *not* a flier, Alex."
"Yes, you are." He slipped his hand behind her calf, still rubbing. "You’re a pilot and that was what you wanted to be instead of a doctor. So, I’ll take flier because I don’t want you to change who you are. For anyone. Just - just make sure that you tell me ahead of time that you’re going."
"I won’t have to. Because you’ll be with me."
"You gonna teach me how to fly the plane?"
"Not on your life." Callie jumped when he tickled the back of her knee, then hissed when he moved to the front of her thigh, kneading, massaging. It was like a current of electricity went straight to her core. "Alex?"
"Hmm?"
"Let me see the Speedo."
"I’m in the middle of something here."
"You can be in the middle of a lot more if you let me see it."
"Patience is not your strong suit."
"You wouldn’t show it to me earlier. I’d say I’m very patient." She sat up suddenly, her mouth open. "You didn’t wear it, did you?!"
"Yes, I did. Why do you think I was in such a bad mood?"
"Then prove it." She pulled her legs off his lap and reached for the waist of his pants.
He gently smacked her hand away and shook his head. "Ah ah ah. Like I said, I was in the middle of something. Stand up."
Callie shot him a look, but got to her feet. Alex stood in front of her and untied the top of her dress, letting it fall from around her neck. Her breasts were bare underneath and he touched one dusky nipple, then the other. Reaching behind her, he found the zipper and slid it down, then lifted her dress over her head instead of letting it fall to the floor. He gently laid it over the arm of the couch and said, "You will give me a lap dance in that later."
"I already did that once tonight. We were late to the party, remember."
"That dress is vulgar and sacred."
Callie grinned at him. "So are you."
"We haven’t enjoyed the mirrors on the ceiling in the starboard room yet. Why don’t you go in there and wait for me?"
"What are you doing?"
"I forgot something in the car."
Callie nodded and watched him walk up the steps. She went to her bathroom and freshened up. As she laid her panties in the hamper she realized exactly what he had gone to the car to retrieve. She walked, naked, down the hallway. Alex was coming back down the stairs and he stopped, enjoying the view. She leaned back against the door of the secondary bedroom and raised a brow. "You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think that you went outside to put the Speedo on. Because you didn’t wear it."
"That’s what you get for thinking," he told her. Smiling, he pulled a small bottle from his pocket and tossed it to her. "I do believe you mentioned massage oil and deep tissue."
"Strawberry," she said, glancing at the label. "I’m not letting you put this on me until you drop your pants, Alex."
With a resigned look of defeat, he pulled his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt. After removing it and the t-shirt he wore under it, he unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants. With his hand on the zipper, he said, "This is humiliating. I just want you to know that."
She licked her lips and nodded. "Go on."
He slid his zipper down and let her see the top of the black Speedo. "Happy?"
"All the way, Alex."
He shoved his pants to his ankles and stood, hands on his hips. Callie gazed at the Speedo with a wicked smile on her face. They fit snug and the apparent bulge in the front of them made her mouth water. She unscrewed the cap on the oil and slipped her finger along the rim, tasting it. "Mmm, it’s good. Sweet. Wanna taste?"
"Callie-"
She tipped the bottle and let oil drip onto her breasts, which she rubbed into her skin very, very slowly. Her eyes never leaving his, she poured a little more into her hand and slipped her fingers between her thighs. "And very wet."
Alex started toward her, forgetting that his feet were still tangled in his pants. He fell face first onto the floor of the salon. Callie was laughing, a deep throaty sound and he yanked off his shoes, ripped off his pants and had her flat on her back on the bed in the starboard room before she knew what had happened.
She gazed up at the mirror, watching as he licked a path between her breasts and settled between her thighs.
It was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced.
So she made sure to return the favor a little while later.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Hello?"
"Calliope, your mother and I are here to see the yacht," Raphael said. "Come and let us in."
"What time is it?"
"Ten a.m.. Are you still in bed?"
Callie grinned. "Uh, yeah. I’ll be there in a second."
Alex rolled onto his back and yawned. "Who is it?"
She told him and he shot to his feet, searching for clothing. He glanced at his watch and raced from the room. He returned a moment later with her robe, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She stood, calmly arched her back, and kissed him. "Stop freaking."
"Right."
Callie pulled her robe on and ran a hand through her hair. "Come on."
Melana and Raphael studied the yacht and if they were shocked to see the aftermath of what had clearly been a very enjoyable night for their daughter, neither commented. Alex hastily tossed his pants, the ones that were still in the middle of the salon floor, into the corner and smiled at Melana. She patted his cheek and walked past him, glancing at the starboard bedroom, then the bathroom. She decided that Goon Docks was a glorious home.
Raphael did not agree. "It’s too small."
"It’s not too small, Daddy."
"You should have bought something bigger, safer."
"Even the Titanic sank."
Raphael accepted the cup of coffee Alex handed him and said, "This area is not safe. Cambyses told us about the lighting issue. It’s very remote out here and anything could go wrong. Especially on the nights that you’re alone."
"I agree," Alex replied. He saw the look that Callie shot him and hastily added, "I just think that it needs better lighting and -"
"A security guard. Are you renting this piece of property?" Raphael asked.
"Yes."
"Give me the name of the owner. I’ll have a guard shack erected in the parking area and make sure that someone is on duty around the clock."
"That’s really not necessary, Dad."
Melana sipped her own coffee and said, "You’re father is right. We’ll also add better lighting on the path and remodel the steps. They’re awfully steep."
Someone shouted outside the boat and Callie frowned. She stood up to head for the stairs, but Alex shook his head and went ahead of her. Callie followed, even though her father tried to stop her. Addison and Mark stood toe to toe on the deck, yelling their heads off.
"I have been friends with Callie longer than you have *known* Alex so-"
"That’s not true!" Mark bellowed. "I met him on my first day in the hospital and-"
"*I* am going on that boat and *you* can go take a swim!"
"You’re the one who needs the cold water, Addison, not me!"
"I got here first!"
"Only because you passed me in the driveway!"
Addison slapped him with her purse and the handcuffs fell out. She bent and retrieved them, then turned to the yacht, where Alex, Callie, and her parents were watching them intently. Tossing the handcuffs to Callie, she said, "They didn’t work."
Callie caught them, turned bright red when Melana cleared her throat, and stuffed them in the pocket of her robe. "What’s going on?"
"Mark broke up with me."
"I broke up with her because she’s a sex addict who treats me like a piece of meat."
"If the shoe fits!" Addison cried. "How long were you in town before you slept with Callie?"
Callie felt her father’s eyes on her and said, "Different Callie. Not me."
"She picked me up!" Mark shouted, pointing at Callie. "I tried to buy her a drink and she told me to bring it to her hotel room."
"Oh, right," Addison snapped. "She threw you over her shoulder? She breaks bones, Mark, but she’s not *that* strong."
"You had made it perfectly clear that you were staying with Derek! I came all the way across the country for you! I gave up my practice, I gave up my *life* to try to win you back and-"
"And I bet you slept with two stewardesses and half the passengers before you got to Seattle! And once you got here you slept with my best friend!"
"Not you?" Melana asked Callie, who was scarlet.
"We were not friends at the time!" Callie said.
"I was scared, Addison!" Mark continued, undaunted. "I was scared of the fact that I was in love with you so I made mistakes! And I’ve been trying for *months* to make amends for that and you just - you won’t even acknowledge the fact that I’ve been -"
"I’m sorry! I’m oh so sorry that you keeping your pants up for forty days is supposed to make me think you’re a reformed -"
"Manwhore? Are you really going to go there again?" Mark growled. "Are you gonna hit me again too?"
"I’d rather drown you. And oh, look, water!"
"Addison!" Callie interrupted. "Death threats! Witnesses!"
"He broke up with me!" Addison repeated and promptly burst into tears. "And he knows that I’m in love with him."
Melana frowned and said, "Addison, honey, why don’t the two of you come inside? It looks like it’s going to rain."
Raphael held out his hand and helped Addison onto the yacht. She finally saw Callie’s face and mouthed, ‘Sorry.’
Callie shot her a look of death and followed her mother and friend down the stairs. Raphael stayed topside with Alex and Mark. He looked from one to the other and both men knew what he was thinking. They had both been intimate with his daughter. Mark coughed into his hand and looked at Alex, imploring him to say something. Alex opened his mouth and quickly closed it again, oblivious to the fact that Raph was rapidly losing his glare and was enjoying their obvious discomfort.
Raph finally said, "Sit down."
Alex and Mark sat down fast, next to one another on the U shaped lounger. Raph sat on one end and sighed, "Women can be infuriating."
"Yes," Mark agreed. "They can."
"Let me impart a little wisdom to the two of you," Raph said.
Side by side, Alex and Mark listened intently.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Men are infuriating!" Melana said, pacing the length of Callie’s bedroom. She turned and looked at her daughter, who was patting Addison on the shoulder. The redhead had her face buried in toilet paper and was softly crying. She sat on her other side and put an arm around her. "There, there, dear."
"I just - I don’t get it. I was only trying to be seductive. Most guys would like that right?" Addison blew her nose again and looked at Callie. "I pulled the handcuffs out just like you said and he didn’t like it. It pissed him off."
Callie purposely avoided her mother’s eyes. "Well, what did you say when you showed them to him?"
"I told him we could do it the easy way or the hard way."
"Addison, that’s attempted rape!" Callie cried. "I told you to ask him if he wanted to play ‘good cop, bad cop’! You were supposed to do the whole ‘you have the right to remain silent, unless you’re screaming in pleasure’ thing."
"I didn’t hear that." Melana shook her head. She hugged Addison a little tighter and said, "You love him?"
"Yes! I destroyed my marriage to be with him!"
Melana looked at Callie over Addison’s head. "There seems to be a lot of that going around."
"No way! This is not about me! My marriage was destroyed before I started anything with Alex!" Callie tore off more toilet paper and handed it to Addison. "And so was yours, Addison. You said so. You said your marriage was broken when you slept with Mark."
"I know." She blew her nose, sounding like a fog horn. "I just can’t stop thinking about all the women and -"
"You have to stop punishing him, Addy," Callie put her hand on her friend’s when Addison lifted her head and glared at her. "You keep bringing up your marriage and how you screwed it up to be with him, but you didn’t. You’re just like me. You were floundering in a life that you weren’t meant to be in so you found someone who understood that. Don’t punish him for being the person you found and stop holding his past against him."
Addison blinked. "You stopped punishing George and he cheated again."
"No, George cheated again because I was torturing him by leaving town with Alex. George has sex when he’s stressed. That’s what he does. It’s his coping mechanism. He almost killed me with sex after his father died. I could barely walk for days." Callie looked at her mother. "You didn’t hear that either."
"I was just admiring the chandelier." Melana kept her eyes on the ceiling.
Callie handed Addison the roll of toilet paper and said, "I think Mark is the kinda guy who has never been loved. Not by anybody. I’m speaking from experience when I tell you that having someone love you enough to show it to you in everything that they do ... can change who you are. So if you’re going to love him then do it all the way. Because if you do it all the way then he’s not going to want to look anywhere else because he’ll be too busy looking at you."
"What did you do on your trip?" Addison rubbed at her nose. "Read a bunch of self help books?"
"No," Callie smiled at her. "I was too busy looking at Alex. And the fact that he could love *me* given all the baggage that I’m carrying ... it’s proof that you probably shouldn’t ignore fate."
"How do I know that Mark is my fate?"
Melana smiled a little. "Wherever fate commands you, you will go. It leads the willing and drags the unwilling. I believe I heard him say that he had followed you across the country. And do you really think it’s a coincidence that the two of you collided here today?"
There was a soft knock at the door and Callie called out for whoever it was to come in. Mark stepped into the bedroom and opened his mouth to speak. He closed it when he saw the state that Addison was in and walked across the room, kneeling in front of her. Melana stood, asking if Callie would show her the yacht’s engine. Callie nodded and they headed into the salon where Alex and Raphael were looking at the Disneyland photos from their trip.
Callie sat beside Alex and listened to him talk about Chinatown and Alcatraz. He reminded her that they needed to get the photos developed and she nodded. "I have to go and pack my stuff at the Archfield so I’ll drop the film off at the one hour photo place."
"Cam and Blake already took care of the packing." Raphael smiled at her. "Your belongings are in our suite. I’ll have them bring everything tonight if that’s okay."
"Not that I’m not grateful, but why did they pack for me? They didn’t have to do that."
"Because you don’t need to go back there, honey." Mel shrugged. "The best way for the past to stay in the past is to not revisit it. And judging from the state that the room was in, I can only imagine that you don’t have fond memories there."
Callie remembered the stains on the carpet and walls from George tossing the wine bottle. "Not so much."
"We paid to have it repainted and the carpet replaced."
"Sorry," Callie replied, shaking her head. "I - I was gonna take care of it."
"Don’t worry about it, honey." Raphael picked up one of the photos and showed it to Melana, who insisted that she be allowed to keep it.
"That’s fine." Callie nodded, looking back and forth between her parents. "How long are you staying here in Seattle?"
"Are you ready for us to leave?" Melana asked.
"No. I’m actually not. I’m just curious."
Raphael leaned back on the sofa and said, "I need to know what day you want the media outlets to arrive. I’ve got Fox, CNN, and MSNBC on standby to cover the Jane Doe story."
"Ava’s not awake yet. I called the hospital earlier and she’s still down so I think it would be best to have the new’s crew arrive after she wakes up. Even if no one recognizes her face they could recognize her voice."
Alex looked shocked. "Wait, you were serious about the this?"
"Yeah."
"I shouldn’t really be shocked because you’re clearly resourceful as hell, but how did you do this?"
Callie put her hand on his. "My dad is the resourceful one. All I did was ask."
*~*~*~*~*~
Mark said nothing for a while. He simply stayed on his knees in front of her, waiting for her to calm down. When she sobbed a little harder, he moved to sit beside her on the bed and hugged her. She smelled good. She always smelled good. He had stayed in the Brownstone in New York for three weeks after she left him and he had never taken another woman to their bed. After three weeks, her pillow had stopped smelling like her so he returned to his place, but he still went back several times because she left so much of herself behind. He still had the ivory hair clip she had worn in her hair the day she told him she was going to Seattle.
The clip was currently in his pocket, where it could almost always be found and he leaned back a little, pulling it out. "I gave this to you for your birthday. Remember?"
Addison dried her eyes and gazed at the clip. "I thought I lost it."
"No. It came out of your hair while we were fighting over your suitcase. The day you left me."
//
A horn blared, cutting across the shouts in the Brownstone.
"Let go. Mark, I’m going!"
"Addison, don’t do this. Don’t."
"The cab is waiting! Let go!" Addison renewed her struggles for the bag and he angrily released his hold, causing her to stumble back against the bed. Her hair fell around her face and she brushed it out of her eyes. "Richard said that he’s with an *intern*."
"And you’re with me! Who cares?"
"No. No, I can’t do this anymore. Derek is -"
"Gone. Derek’s gone! He got as far away from you as he could get! We’re happy! Addison, we’re happy together! We have problems, but I swear to God that I can-"
"You slept with that woman!"
"Because you aborted my child! I was pissed! Why the hell do you think I told you?"
She got to her feet and stared at him. "We were not ready for a baby and you know that."
"No, *you* were not ready for a baby. I went shopping for the kid while you got rid of it!"
The cab blew the horn again and Addison shifted the suitcase from one hand to the other. "We never would have worked."
"We’ve been working just fine! I love you! I love you even though-"
"Stop! Do not blame me for this! I needed you here after I - after I terminated the pregnancy and -"
"You called me while I was at the gym and told me what you had done! Do you know what I had been doing? I had been telling everyone that I was going to be a daddy!"
"And you got me back, didn’t you!? You called me and told me that you had fucked your-"
The cab honked again and Mark said, "Stay. Stay, Addison. We can fix this!"
"I’m going. I - I have to go."
"Why?"
"Because he’s my husband!"
"He stopped being your husband when he married his job, Addison! I’m the one who was always here!"
She grabbed her purse and hurried down the stairs. He was hot on her heels, close enough for her to feel his breath. Opening the door, she stepped over the threshold and looked back at him. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything."
"Then stay."
Addison faltered briefly, torn between chasing after an old dream or embracing a new one. He saw it, he read her like a book and kissed her. She didn’t try to pull away. She kissed him back with the same ferocity. When they broke apart, she took a deep breath and said, "I loved you. I did."
"You still do," he replied.
"Goodbye, Mark."
"Addison, please! Please don’t do this!"
She hurried down the steps and yanked the car door open. She slipped into the seat and closed her eyes, listening to him shout that he would come find her.
That he would always come and find her.
//
Addison’s hand was shaking as the memory faded and she took the clip. Running her thumb over the intricate pattern, she recalled the circumstances surrounding the gift. "You brought it back from Thailand. You told me it was real Ivory and I said that you should be ashamed of yourself for killing an elephant to take its tusk."
He smiled. "I told you the elephant was already dying."
She sniffled and looked at him. "I was so scared for you when you went to Phuket. I watched the news around the clock, worrying about what you’d encounter after the tsunami. Derek thought I was crazy. He kept telling me that you’d be fine, that you would call us as soon as you could. I was so pissed at you for volunteering to go."
"I had never even thought about being with you at that time, but for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was there." He brushed her hair over her shoulder. "You and Derek were the only family I had, but I didn’t think about him. I saw your face in every single person I treated or pronounced dead."
"After you came back you stared coming around more. I noticed."
"I noticed things, too." he replied. "Like the fact that you were usually crying when you opened the door to let me in."
"My marriage was falling apart."
"But you kept chasing it anyway."
Addison’s eyes welled with fresh tears. "I should have stayed with you."
"I recall suggesting that."
She looked at him. "I’m sorry. For everything. For the baby and for the sex thing and -"
"Do you want to try this again?"
Her eyes widened hopefully. "What?"
"Us. You and me. Do you want to give it a real try?"
Addison nodded. "I do."
"Are you cold?"
"No, why?"
"Because you’re wearing my jacket from last night."
"It smells like you."
Mark smiled at her, leaning his forehead against hers. "I love you."
"I love you," she replied, then added, "And I hate you for making me feel *anything* at all because I don’t want to and it scares me and I can’t stop because -"
He silenced her with a kiss, cradling her face between his palms. When they finally broke apart, he dried her eyes and said, "Karev said that he went hiking with Callie on the other side of the cove the other day. He said that there’s a beautiful view of the city. Would you - do you want to take a walk, Addison?"
"Okay."
"And after we take a walk why don’t we go grab lunch and -"
"Not have sex," Addison interjected. "Because I want it to mean something too. And we’ll know when we should because neither one of us will be listening to our bodies at the time. We’ll be listening to our hearts."
"I’ve been listening to my heart for a while now, Addison." He touched her cheek. "It always takes me where you are."
Taking a deep breath, she got to her feet. "Let’s take that walk."
They found Alex and Callie on the sofa, playing a gory video game that was clearly intended for mature audiences. Callie paused it and handed them both a bottle of water when they said they were going for a hike. "Be careful. It’s really steep in parts."
"Where did your parents go?" Addison asked.
"Mom is hosting a poker party with my aunts."
"You don’t like poker?" Mark asked her.
Callie smiled. "My poker face is so good that they won’t let me play. I’m uninvited."
Addison gave her a hug and said, "I’ll apologize to your parents when I see them. How long are they staying?"
"A few more days and you don’t have to apologize. Believe me, they get freakin’ out over a guy. Cam used to do it every couple of weeks."
"Cam did, but you didn’t?" Addison asked.
"No. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was nineteen and by then I was away at college."
"You’re a late bloomer yet you know how to play ‘good cop, bad cop’?" Addison raised a brow.
"I rapidly made up for lost time."
"Uh." Alex put his arm around Callie. "Good cop, bad cop?"
Callie pulled the handcuffs out of the pocket of her robe and said, "You have the right to remain silent unless you’re screaming in pleasure."
Grinning, Alex glanced at Mark and pointed at the door. "You guys have fun on the trail. Try not to need us for at least an hour."
Mark laughed when Alex chased Callie down the hallway. "Not *that* is how you get both parties involved in bondage."
"I should take notes from her." Addison heard Callie shriek right after her bedroom door slammed.
"I took notes from her father."
"What do you mean?"
"He's a very wise man."
"You're not going to tell me what he said to you?"
"No. I'm not." He stepped up one of the steps. "But it was very eye opening. I needed to hear it. Ready?"
"Let’s go *walk*."
He chuckled. "We have to walk off your sexual frustration."
She shook her head. "No. We have to walk off the past. Together."
*~*~*~*~*~