Chapter 6

Apr 15, 2009 14:02

Title: These People I Can’t Stand
Rating: T
Warnings: Continues to be high in Sasuke. Also contains fluff, and the other f-word
Other pairings: A bit of LeeSaku
Setting: AU, present day Japan

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three
Chapter Four, Chapter Five


Chapter Six: Idiots

Sasuke liked to think he didn’t ask for much in life.

He had friends who apparently realized to stay away every once in a while because he needed to be alone. He had his big brother back, and since the only real effect Itachi's handicap seemed to have on their lives was Sasuke having to protect his clothes from the airborne hair of his seeing-eye mutt Amaterasu (she looked like a white wolf, and naming pets after video game characters they resemble is what cool kids do), he didn't have to bother with feeling like a villain for picking on a blind guy whenever they got into a squabble. His uncle had stopped trying to be a good parent and instead just was a good parent. He was clean of drugs, did well at school, and things were uncharacteristically peachy.

All he could hope for on top of that was a little peace of mind, because he was positive this calm was just temporary and in-between storms. Deciding to sneak into an empty classroom for the lunch break to eat in peace, and maybe be productive and read a book, he didn’t know he was tempting fate.

The door slid open without a sound. Sasuke’s hand dropped from the handle and he froze.

Wrong empty classroom.

“-mmfOH FUCK! How long have you stood there?”

Approximately ten seconds, which had felt like ten minutes. It might as well have been ten hours and they still wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t dropped his packed lunch with a loud clang.

“Close the door! Close the door!” Naruto scrambled up from his chair to do it for him before even finishing the first sentence, seeing as Sasuke was still obviously too traumatized for life to do anything.

Gaara stood up, from the same chair, about as gracefully as you can when your seat cushion decides to get up first and you’re very much caught with your hand in the cookie jar (yes, considering the situation, that figure of speech was much better for your sanity than ‘with your pants down’… not that comparing Naruto’s back pockets to cookie jars was all that comforting, either).

“Listen,” Naruto started, out of breath, and Sasuke couldn’t see what he could do but obey. “This… this isn’t what it looks like!”

“Really, it isn’t?” Sasuke managed to almost shout. “So I didn’t just see Gaara sitting in your lap and shoving his tongue down your throat? You've got the wrong Uchiha, I happen to still have 6/3 vision!”

“Okay, okay, so maybe it’s exactly what it looks like,” Naruto yelped out with hand gestures that told him to lower his voice a bit. You know things are upside down when Naruto Uzumaki is hushing you. “Is that so terrible?”

“You’re gay?”

“Well…" Naruto took a pale hand in his and turned to smile at its blushing owner. "I am for him.”

The blushing redhead just shrugged, and Sasuke’s inner Gaara-Human dictionary alternated between a ‘duh’ and the possibility that he had simply never thought of labeling his sexual orientation, and considered this a plausible option.

“But… you’re the one who keeps pointing out random girls and telling me to check out their breasts!”

Naruto sighed at the ceiling. “Because you never would if I didn’t tell you to. And who doesn’t like boobs? They’re cushy.”

When Sasuke didn’t talk back, Gaara saw fit to summarize for him, as if to prove Naruto hadn’t sucked out and swallowed his voice. “It’s the person that matters,” he said, leaning a bit to the person who had by now been established as his. “Not a body part.”

For a second, Sasuke felt like either punching him for assuming he needed to be told something that basic, or punching himself for letting Gaara tell him something that basic.

“We were gonna let you and Sakura know soon,” Naruto assured. “Just weren’t sure how, I guess... though she might know already, now that I think about it.”

Sasuke found himself nodding stiffly. "She probably knew before you did." Sakura was the one with the people skills; if something was going on with her friends -good or bad- she was there to mother you about it before you knew what hit you.

Naruto chuckled, a little uncomfortably, and put his free hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. Gaara scowled when he flinched away at the touch.

“It’s not contagious.”

Sasuke raised his hands in defense and glared back. “Look, I couldn’t care less what you do with each other. As long as you’re not putting any moves on me you can be whatever the hell you want.” He was quite proud of how unfazed he sounded. Yes, he was taking this very calmly and maturely and was not in shock at all.

Naruto laughed with more confidence, and put his hand back where it had been. “Cocky, aren’t we? Just because half the female student body has turned ogling you into an art form regardless of whether you ever stare back or not, doesn’t mean you’re so gorgeous all the guys want you, too. Don’t worry, Sasu-chan, your virtue is safe with us.”

When Sasuke’s disturbed glare told him he was not amused, Naruto just grinned wider and leaned closer.

“Hey, it’s still me. I’m in love with him, not developing a lisp and a passion for interior decoration.”

A small gasp made itself heard, and Sasuke suddenly felt unreasonably intruding. It wasn't like it was his fault Gaara wasn't as desensitized to confessions as he was by now.

“Allright, I get it already,” he carefully worded with his best attempt at a no particular tone. “Like I said, it’s none of my business. Congratulations. Now get out of my face before I change my mind and think you are going to kiss me, too.”

Naruto did back off, if only to take hold of Gaara's other hand as well and lock eyes with him. “I meant that you know. I am... and I do... so, so much.”

“I know. Me too.” And all of a sudden Gaara was all soft voice and warm smile, like he had been with increasing frequency recently.

"You love you so, so much, too?"

Gaara nodded, showing no sign that he was joking, or even knew he might be suspected of doing so. Sasuke stared in morbid fascination as he raised their linked hands to his lips and gently kissed Naruto’s fingers. "But I love you more."

Four years ago, those same hands had been used to grab a fistful of hair to pull the other into a headbutt. It felt difficult to imagine now.

“Nobody else knows, and we would like to keep it that way for a while,” Gaara finally reverted to the serious mode Sasuke was more familiar with. “Don’t spread this around on your own.”

He couldn’t help the amused snort and raised eyebrow. “Because that’s what I do, right?”

Gaara picked the still-slightly-axe-wielding variation from his arsenal of smiles. “Not a good time to start.”

They stared at each other in silence for a second or two, and then, convinced of that whatever stoic, manly understanding they might have was still there, Sasuke turned to leave.

“Right, well, I’ll let you two newlyweds get back to your foreplay. If I may suggest, though, there's something you might want to try.”

“...Go ahead, I guess.”

“It's called locking the door. Feels amazing.”

Satisfied with having at least been able to make the pair look embarrassed (before brushing it aside to put his first suggestion into practice and making him quickly flee the classroom), Sasuke leaned against the outside of the door and sighed, allowing his totally-chill-with-this facade fade.

He shook his head in attempt to clear it.

Not with a bang, not with a whimper... not even with his friends every once in a while understanding him, this is how the world ended. He shook his head some more at the stray thought that if that was the case, then the end of the world would probably involve some banging and whimpering as well.

Naruto and Gaara? His two weirdest friends -in tooth-rotting, head over heels, high school love?

What did they see in each other?

He thought back to everything he knew about the both of them and shuddered at the amount of details that started to add up. He tried to chalk it up to a passing puppy crush that would soon fade and restore the status quo of their group’s dynamics, but he knew better than to not expect the worst by now.

Maybe this had been the status quo all along.

Sasuke spotted Itachi’s clique in the crowd down the hall and dashed to seize the opportunity. Nothing like listening to the debates of stoners turned teenage philosophers to bleach your brain.

On the next recess they met Sakura again, and the assumption that she had already figured things out proved correct. She was happy for them to say the least, but from her yaoi manga collection, Sasuke should have guessed that, too.

What was it with girls and gay guys? Then again, he didn’t quite understand the attraction straight guys had to lesbians, either -there was more of their preferred gender involved, yes, but of the kind that would have no interest in them whatsoever. At least Sakura was very discreet and supportive about it instead of freaking out their poor freshly uncloseted friends by asking if she could watch them make out or something.

Yamanaka knew about as much as Sakura did, so they decided the best course of action would be to just confirm her suspicions and have Sakura swear her to keeping it a secret until they wanted it out. She would of course get to be the first to spread the news, so she agreed.

She would make a fine reporter one day. And no, Sasuke was not telling her that.

Naruto kept his promise, like he always did (Even the one he had given at the hospital -to beat Sasuke up so that he would end up back there. It might have been a comradely wrestling match, and the gash at the back of Sasuke’s head that had needed stitches and messed up his hairstyle for a while might have come from falling on a rock they had failed to clear away beforehand, but it qualified nonetheless). The fact that he and Gaara were together didn’t really change either of them any more than they might have already changed each other throughout the years, so Sasuke saw no reason to change things either.

He still kept them at an arm’s length, but he still kept them.

Life went on, school was hell, and Naruto and Gaara were more joined at the hip than the conjoined twins from Itachi’s class -business as usual. Sasuke continued to get dragged along to silly social situations, such as a revival of their elementary school habit of frequent movie and game nights, parties any of their other friends might be having, and, on one unfortunately memorable occasion from their last year of high school, a triple date.

An assiduously rehearsed frown as his favorite accessory, the younger of Uchiha’s prodigal prodigies sipped his tomato juice and wished his liver could still handle alcohol.

Next to him, Yamanaka, whom Sakura had persuaded him to accompany, was telling him about his latest bad breakup, how she had gotten over her unrequited crush on Sasuke ages ago, and how she was glad to be able to have him as a friend instead because he always managed to motivate her out of thinking she should just give up dating and resign herself to spinsterhood. Across the table, Sakura and Gaara watched the current performance, occasionally peeking at each other’s reactions to see when it was proper to burst out laughing.

“Well? What did you think?” Naruto demanded of the two redheads of the troupe as he skipped over from the stage of the karaoke bar.

“Yes, let us now face the unbribable judgment of the ones our hearts have chosen! I promised myself, if I let Naruto-kun outsing me I-“

“A draw,” Sakura interrupted. Gaara nodded.

Lee sat down next to Sakura, little gears in his head turning loud enough for Sasuke to hear, over the issue of whether this counted as being ‘outsang’ in the impromptu howling contest no one had even bothered to make up rules for. Naruto decided to plop himself down in Gaara’s lap, his expression saying it did count.

“No fair, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“No, I believe I was supposed to be ‘unbribable’,” he was told. “The jury was unanimous.”

Naruto dragged on his bad impression of hurt feelings a little longer, and then leaned across the table, his cheerful air regained.

Behold -the Garuto version of a lovers’ spat. Blink and you’ll miss it.

“Allright, the stage is yours, Sasuke! Thick-brows and I warmed up the audience for you, now go do your thing and knock ‘em dead!”

“Oh yeah, you should totally do that! I bet you have a good singing voice!” Yamanaka echoed her fellow bimbo blonde.

“How about you and Sakura have another duet instead,” Sasuke tried, rummaging his brain for a compliment to attach, and finding he didn’t have any in stock. Where was distracting flattery the one time in your life when you needed it?

“Aww, but it’s your turn…”

“You can have it. I really don’t mind.” The girls’ exaggerated shrilling had been entertaining enough the first time around, and if his friends’ idea of fun was to voluntarily lose face, who was he to judge. Damned if he would go so far as to take part in it, though.

Naruto sighed and got to his feet, offering a hand to his arguably better half. “Wanna show them how it’s done?”

Gaara went along, with astounding precision, in re-enacting their Handshake from two years prior, and just stared at the hand in surprise. “I-I… I’ve never sung before, I don’t know if…”

Naruto leaned close enough to whisper (but apparently forgot the actual whispering). “You hum beautifully enough when you think I’m asleep. Did you hear me just now? That was my best shot instead of just goofing around, to be honest.”

Gaara blinked. Then he took the hand and smiled. “Let’s embarrass ourselves.”

“Thoroughly!” Naruto grinned back and led him to the stage. Sakura and Lee cheered. Yamanaka made a long sigh, which Sasuke joined her in.

“It should be illegal to be that happy…”

Sakura and Lee were engaged in a conversation of their own, so Sasuke assumed Yamanaka must have said it to him. He made an acknowledging grunt, still looking at the stage where Naruto was a beat ahead of the music and Gaara two beats behind, neither of them seeming to mind. “Idiots are easily amused.”

He didn’t bother to make the double meaning less obvious, and expected her to prove him right by giggling as if it was a joke and not a fact. Instead her head fell on his shoulder and she patted his hand.

“Don’t worry, Sasuke-kun. We’ll both find someone to be happy idiots with, just wait and see.”

He heard laughter, and darted his gaze back to the resident happy idiots, ready to snap at them if they dared to make fun of his situation. He found them wobblling on their feet and clinging together to stay upright, not even remembering their audience existed, trying to sing more than laugh -at each other- and failing miserably. Sasuke strained to remind himself they were just as sober as he was, as some stupid form of solidarity had made the entire group refuse to get drunk if he couldn't. Well, Naruto and Gaara could have had him fooled.

God. They deserved each other.

Sasuke put an arm around Yamanaka's shoulders in something remotely resembling a hug, like Sakura had ordered him to do if she needed comforting. He honestly couldn't decide whether it was comforting or frightening him that she had just attempted herself.

-------------
Amaterasu: the Uchiha bros’ emo eye-bleeder jutsu, sun goddess of the Japanese Shinto religion, and that same goddess in wolf form as the main character of the video game Ōkami. You probably knew that already.

Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight

fanwork: fanfiction

Previous post Next post
Up