More potential Republican annoyance ;~)
I swear my neighbor is sending me these *EVILLE*
Presidential Position Outsourced
Congress today announced that the Office of President of the
United States will be outsourced to overseas as of June
30th, the end of this fiscal year.
The move is being made to save $400K a year in salary, a
record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead. "The cost savings will be quite significant" says
Congressman Adam Smith ((D) - Wash) who, with the aid
Congress' research arm, the General Accounting Office, has
studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply
can no longer afford this level of outlay and remain
competitive in the world stage," Congressman Smith said.
Exporting American jobs has been a popular trend lately,
ironically at the urging of President Bush. Mr. Bush was
informed by e-mail this morning of the termination of his
position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and
salary until his final day of employment. After that, with a
two week waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240
dollars a week from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state Medicaid
health insurance coverage as his unemployment benefits are
over the required limit.
"I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought fer sure I'd
have some job security around this here place. I ,have no
idea what I'll do now," he further lamented.
Preparations have been underway for some time for the job
move. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai,
India, will be assuming the Office of President of the
United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh was born in the United
States while his parents were here on student visas, thus
making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of $320 US a month but with no health coverage or
other benefits. Due to the time difference between the US
and India, Mr. Singh will be working primarily at night,
when offices of the US Government will be open. "I am
excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an
exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day
job at the American Express call center. I always knew I
could be President someday."
Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may
not be fully aware of all the issues involved with his new
position. A Congressional Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh
has been given a script tree to follow which will allow him
to respond to most topics of concern. The Spokesperson
further noted that "additional savings will be realized as
these scripting tools have already been used previously by
Mr. Bush here in the US. Such scripts will enable Mr. Singh
to provide an answer without having to fully understand the
issue itself."
Congress continues to explore other outsourcing
possibilities including that of Vice President and most
other Administration appointees.
Presidential Position Outsourced
Congress today announced that the Office of President of the
United States will be outsourced to overseas as of June
30th, the end of this fiscal year.
The move is being made to save $400K a year in salary, a
record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead. "The cost savings will be quite significant" says
Congressman Adam Smith ((D) - Wash) who, with the aid
Congress' research arm, the General Accounting Office, has
studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply
can no longer afford this level of outlay and remain
competitive in the world stage," Congressman Smith said.
Exporting American jobs has been a popular trend lately,
ironically at the urging of President Bush. Mr. Bush was
informed by e-mail this morning of the termination of his
position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and
salary until his final day of employment. After that, with a
two week waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240
dollars a week from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state Medicaid
health insurance coverage as his unemployment benefits are
over the required limit.
"I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought fer sure I'd
have some job security around this here place. I ,have no
idea what I'll do now," he further lamented.
Preparations have been underway for some time for the job
move. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai,
India, will be assuming the Office of President of the
United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh was born in the United
States while his parents were here on student visas, thus
making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of $320 US a month but with no health coverage or
other benefits. Due to the time difference between the US
and India, Mr. Singh will be working primarily at night,
when offices of the US Government will be open. "I am
excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an
exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day
job at the American Express call center. I always knew I
could be President someday."
Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may
not be fully aware of all the issues involved with his new
position. A Congressional Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh
has been given a script tree to follow which will allow him
to respond to most topics of concern. The Spokesperson
further noted that "additional savings will be realized as
these scripting tools have already been used previously by
Mr. Bush here in the US. Such scripts will enable Mr. Singh
to provide an answer without having to fully understand the
issue itself."
Congress continues to explore other outsourcing
possibilities including that of Vice President and most
other Administration appointees.