lift up the receiver // i'll make you a believer
One of my newest fandoms is NCIS: Los Angeles, the crappy mediocre NCIS spinoff. (I mock because I care ♥) The show could do with a few more female characters (although Kensi and Hetty kick more butt than all the male characters combined), the cases could be a little more interesting and I'm not that fond of Nate, the ~psychiatrist~, but there's one thing that makes me tune in every week.
The show is really, really, ridiculously slashy. I'm not kidding.
The Boys
Meet G. Callen, the irreverent orphan who's done stints at the FBI and the Navy, and I'm willing to bet elsewhere too, before drifting to work for NCIS. He's funny and snarky, although he does have moments of ~deep angst~ every once in a while, especially when someone asks about his past. He doesn't know his name, so he goes by G or Callen.
He also knows Gibbs. Intimately.
This is Sam Hanna, a very proud ex-Navy SEAL and general hardass. He's usually a very serious, righteous person with a deep need to see justice served.
His smiles are pretty much either aimed at Callen or because of him.
NCIS 6x22-23 (Sorry about the French subs :'D)
We first meet the LA team in two crossover episodes with NCIS proper. I'm not going to go into details on the plot, but this is where we first gain a glimpse at just how dedicated these two are to each other. To quickly recap, the team is after a terrorist cell, Callen and Sam go rifle through the apartment of one of the cell members, almost get caught, Callen bullshits his way out of trouble (pretending to be an arms dealer) while Sam hides in the bathroom and finally Callen gets the chance to make contact with the cell through this one dude's girlfriend. Sam's very worried.
Callen: Rivkin gives us Haziq's name, she leads us to him.
Callen: Stay close. (Callen's handing over the keys to their car, leaning verrrry close and whispering and eee ♥)
Sam: How you going to play this?
Callen: I gotta believe Haziq still wants what Liam's got.
Sam: And if he doesn't?
Callen: You'll come rescue me.
And of course...
Sam does ♥
What I really love about this scene is the very deep trust Callen obviously has in Sam, and the way he just... I don't know, comes right out with it. Seriously just aww ;3;
Anyway, once the team has solved the case (with help from Gibbs and McGee), we get a scene full of the easy banter that'll later become Sam and Callen's routine in the spinoff itself. Here Sam's given Callen a ride home and they're talking about how Callen keeps moving every few months.
Callen's a little suspicious of his neighborhood, convinced that he's being watched. The guys banter some more and then Sam asks Callen to marry him the following question.
Sam: You ever gonna settle down, G?
Callen just gets out and waves.
Sam: One day. (To me that sounded an awful lot like Sam wants Callen to ~settle down~ with him ♥)
Of course, that's when Callen gets shot by a vanful of people for some reason. It's really adorable how quickly Sam gets out of the car and starts running towards Callen once he realizes that something's wrong.
Naturally, we get a lot of desperate hugging with equally desperate pleading from Sam ♥
And that's how the crossover episodes end.
1x01
The first episode of the first season starts with Callen back on duty after a few months of sick leave.
He does some angsting in front of his hotel room window, as you do.
The poor bb's back is, of course, all scarred, but he's still going back to work.
This was actually kind of incredibly adorable. Sam drives up to where Callen's waiting with his bags, buying coffee from a street vendor, and Callen just easily and naturally hands Sam a cup of coffee. I mean, he was obviously waiting for Sam to show up, but to actually buy him coffee? Too cute ;3; (lysachan and I are both convinced that whenever one character on a TV show pours or buys another character a cup of coffee, they are OTP and meant to be. [See e.g. Jack and Daniel of SG-1, Ryan and Esposito of Castle and a bazillion others.])
Anyway, Sam's all worried and whatnot about whether Callen's ready to come back so quickly and says as much.
Callen: *scoffs* What are you, my mother or something?
Sam: You could use one.
And then they just stand there, smiling at each other way too long. Aww ;3; They also bring up Callen's habit of moving really often, and Sam seems to be very much in the loop on Callen's apartment woes (he, like, lists Callen's reasons for moving out from five of his past apartments or so). Their banter is so much fun and truly shows how comfortable these two are with each other.
There was also another cute bout of banter in this episode I wrote down but didn't cap. The guys were going through the dead guy's apartment and Sam happened across some birthday cards:
Sam: His birthday was two months ago. How long do you leave birthday cards on display?
Callen: I don't know. Never got one.
Sam: *disbelieving look* You've never gotten a single birthday card?
Callen: Nope.
Sam: *smiles*
Callen: What? It's not a big deal.
Sam: I'm definitely giving you a birthday card this year.
Callen: Great. You make sure you put some money in it.
Sam: I'm gonna put a personality in it.
These two are just way too sweet together ♥
Anyway, the team has a new addition in the form of Dom, the newbie standing next to Callen. Of course, Sam decides to wig the new kid out a little.
Kensi: So why the hood and the nylon ties?
Callen: Well, they don't want him to see where they're taking him, so they tie his hands so he's not tempted to lift the hood and peek.
Sam: Yeah. It's common practice in the Middle East. I've used the technique a few times myself.
(Note how Sam's looking at Callen to make sure that he gets the joke.)
And then Sam winks at Callen. Don't believe me? Here.
Callen's all...
"Hee, that's my boyfriend for you."
The end of the episode was terribly sweet too. Callen still doesn't have a place to sleep (Hetty basically told him to GTFO of their headquarters, but then gave him a stack of paperwork to provide him with an excuse to stay there anyway for the night), so Sam comes up to him.
Sam: Sofa's free at my place.
Callen: Noisy.
Sam: Okay. Night, G. (He does look awfully sad about Callen turning down his offer, though. Also, it's canon that Callen's at least been over at Sam's place >3)
And then they bump fists ♥
1x02 (The episode to watch if you're in it for the slash. Seriously.)
The basic plot of the episode is that a group of marines rob a well-known drug dealer's pad, leaving some bodies in their wake etc. Sam recognizes one of the robbers as his SEAL buddy, so he and Callen go talk to him. The exchange that follows is the epitome of hilarity and slashiness :'D
Callen: So when was the last time you saw this guy?
Sam: Bosnia.
Callen: You have history with him? (I just love his double take here.)
Sam: We weren't dating, if that's what you're asking. SEALs work together as a team. Holgate had a tendency to act like a lone wolf, if you know what I'm talking about.
Callen: Actually, half the time I don't know what you're talking about...
Callen: ...and the rest of the time I just disagree.
Sam: I really look forward to having Dom as a partner.
Callen: You'd miss me. I complete you.
ETA This scene was originally even slashier in the promo. Like, holy God level of slashy :'D Thanks, fuzzybluemonkey for mentioning the promo in the comments ♥ [Edited to add a working link. Thanks for letting me know the promo had been deleted, chase65!]
Hee! First of all, I love it how Sam's immediate response to Callen's slightly surprised, suspicious question is to talk about dating the man, not anything else. Of course, Sam was just joking, but it's little things like this that make me love this pairing so much. And then there's the whole ~Brokeback Mountain~ esque thing with Callen completing Sam~. (Another thing I liked about this episode was Callen immediately coming to Sam's defense when Nate questioned his commitment to the case.)
After the case is solved, Callen saunters into the den to talk with Sam who's putting his rifle away. And thus commences one of the slashiest conversations ever:
Callen: So, you still mad at Holgate and those guys for what they did?
Sam: I get why they did it, I get what they did. When you're in combat together, trust someone with your life, it's a brotherhood forged in fire.
Callen: *pause* Well, we've been shot at. Lotta times.
Sam: I didn't mean it like that.
Callen: *starts advancing towards Sam* Oh, we don't have a brotherfood forged in fire?
Sam: Okay, okay, stop.
Callen: I even brought you a beer to cheer you up.
Sam: Don't make me break this rifle outta here.
Callen hands Sam his beer...
...they toast and then...
Callen: Love you, man.
Sam: Good night.
So. Doing. It.
1x03
The third episode wasn't as epic in the slash department... no, wait, it totally was! To be quite honest, I can't really remember what the plot was about - something to do with remote-controlled drones or something - but hee at the boys.
The whole episode starts with the guys relaxing in the den with Kensi, who's talking about her date the previous night.
Kensi: Look you guys, I am the best first date girl in town. I bring my A game: funny, flirty, charming, spontaneous, tasteful.
Sam: Like me.
Callen: And the second?
Kensi: Second date: antsy, bored, distant, impatient, irritable.
Sam: Like G.
Callen's amused/annoyed look at Sam...
...gets a wide grin in response.
So cute ;3;
Of course, Callen gets Sam back for teasing him. And how: the guys are staking out someplace or another, I forget. They had to interview this young guy who was controlling a military drone before it veered off course and killed another marine, and Sam was pretty shaken up by the whole thing. Callen, of course, needles him a little~.
Callen: You went soft on him. Briggs.
Sam: Man, I know you're not gonna go here with me right now. We're in the middle of chasing our only lead on our only suspect.
Callen: You know, your ears wiggle when you try to avoid a conversation. *pause* It's kind of adorable. (Trufax: When I first watched this episode, I had to pause after Callen's first line to squee and then again after his second :'D)
Callen: *wiggles his brows*
Sam's clearly having problems keeping a straight face :'D
Sam: Okay. For years I dreamed of being a SEAL. I gave up everything else to get there. Everything. If I saw the finish line and found out that the Navy was gonna bump me somewhere else? I'd be angry too.
And Callen just goes "huh" and gets out of the car.
Sam: *sullen* And my ears don't wiggle. *checks in the mirror*
What I liked about this scene was Callen combining really wanting to know about why Sam reacted the way he did and teasing the everliving hell out of him at the same time. Callen clearly cares about Sam, and probably figured that this would be the only way to get him to open up about anything. Aww ♥
Later on in the episode, the guys talk to one suspect's boss.
Bossman: Trust me. You open that door up, you're asking for a needy, whiny slacker of a colleague.
Callen: I know exactly what you mean.
Sam's epic bitchface is epic.
After the dude drives away...
Sam: I don't whine, I'm not needy and I don't slack.
Callen: Two outta three ain't bad.
These two are ace at the whole "walking away from you while still looking you in the eye to the point of having to crane my neck back" thing ♥
And at the end of the episode, they leave together~.
So married!
1x04
This one only had one outright slashy scene and even that was sneaky.
So what do two very macho men do when bored out of their minds on a stakeout? (P.S. Mmm, please keep sucking on things, Chris O'Donnell. Thank you.)
Make out. Origami!
No, seriously.
Cue hilarious snarking about Sam's swan looking more like a toad or a duck than a swan. (I looove the way the guys played this one out from Callen's bitching to Sam's defensive "It's a swan." :'D) Of course, no matter how much Callen might snark about Sam's origami...
...his is the only birdie Callen actually kept ♥
No, seriously ;3;
Misc. Cuteness
Sam and Callen are always watching each other.
And sharing personal space.
Also, they are still masters of...
...the whole "walking away from you while still looking you in the eye to the point of having to crane my neck back" thing ♥
I loved the way Sam just kind of... grabbed Callen's arm to herd him along~.
Also, at some point when they're split up at a drug dealer's house...
...Callen turns around to shoot Sam a worried look...
...only to realize that Sam was already watching him.
And when Callen shoots a bad guy right before he would've killed Sam...
(I love how shaken Callen looked; he was so afraid his partner might get hurt.)
...Sam gives him a relieved smile.
Sam isn't the only one that tows the other around via grabby hands ♥
Callen also doesn't let go immediately.
Callen enjoys lounging around in front of his boyfriend partner.
I totally first thought they were holding hands.
Mmm, lean a little closer to whisper in Callen's ear, why don't you, Sam?
P.S. What the butt was Sam wearing?
Much better, even if Callen's jeans were way too tight ♥
And finally, one of my favorite scenes. It just sums everything I love about this pairing into one moment of silence. (Sam is shaken after they find a dead marine on the beach, and steps away from everyone to stare out at the water.)
Callen will always be there for him. Oh, my heart ♥
So yay, hot guys bickering like a married couple, innuendo up the wazoo, and fairly okay cases every week! What's there not to like? \o/
And now it's back to the grind with meeee~. The last ten/twenty pages of my theory section, here I come!
[lyrics in subject from Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode (or Johnny Cash).]
The show is really, really, ridiculously slashy. I'm not kidding.
The Boys
Meet G. Callen, the irreverent orphan who's done stints at the FBI and the Navy, and I'm willing to bet elsewhere too, before drifting to work for NCIS. He's funny and snarky, although he does have moments of ~deep angst~ every once in a while, especially when someone asks about his past. He doesn't know his name, so he goes by G or Callen.
He also knows Gibbs. Intimately.
This is Sam Hanna, a very proud ex-Navy SEAL and general hardass. He's usually a very serious, righteous person with a deep need to see justice served.
His smiles are pretty much either aimed at Callen or because of him.
NCIS 6x22-23 (Sorry about the French subs :'D)
We first meet the LA team in two crossover episodes with NCIS proper. I'm not going to go into details on the plot, but this is where we first gain a glimpse at just how dedicated these two are to each other. To quickly recap, the team is after a terrorist cell, Callen and Sam go rifle through the apartment of one of the cell members, almost get caught, Callen bullshits his way out of trouble (pretending to be an arms dealer) while Sam hides in the bathroom and finally Callen gets the chance to make contact with the cell through this one dude's girlfriend. Sam's very worried.
Callen: Rivkin gives us Haziq's name, she leads us to him.
Callen: Stay close. (Callen's handing over the keys to their car, leaning verrrry close and whispering and eee ♥)
Sam: How you going to play this?
Callen: I gotta believe Haziq still wants what Liam's got.
Sam: And if he doesn't?
Callen: You'll come rescue me.
And of course...
Sam does ♥
What I really love about this scene is the very deep trust Callen obviously has in Sam, and the way he just... I don't know, comes right out with it. Seriously just aww ;3;
Anyway, once the team has solved the case (with help from Gibbs and McGee), we get a scene full of the easy banter that'll later become Sam and Callen's routine in the spinoff itself. Here Sam's given Callen a ride home and they're talking about how Callen keeps moving every few months.
Callen's a little suspicious of his neighborhood, convinced that he's being watched. The guys banter some more and then Sam asks Callen to marry him the following question.
Sam: You ever gonna settle down, G?
Callen just gets out and waves.
Sam: One day. (To me that sounded an awful lot like Sam wants Callen to ~settle down~ with him ♥)
Of course, that's when Callen gets shot by a vanful of people for some reason. It's really adorable how quickly Sam gets out of the car and starts running towards Callen once he realizes that something's wrong.
Naturally, we get a lot of desperate hugging with equally desperate pleading from Sam ♥
And that's how the crossover episodes end.
1x01
The first episode of the first season starts with Callen back on duty after a few months of sick leave.
He does some angsting in front of his hotel room window, as you do.
The poor bb's back is, of course, all scarred, but he's still going back to work.
This was actually kind of incredibly adorable. Sam drives up to where Callen's waiting with his bags, buying coffee from a street vendor, and Callen just easily and naturally hands Sam a cup of coffee. I mean, he was obviously waiting for Sam to show up, but to actually buy him coffee? Too cute ;3; (lysachan and I are both convinced that whenever one character on a TV show pours or buys another character a cup of coffee, they are OTP and meant to be. [See e.g. Jack and Daniel of SG-1, Ryan and Esposito of Castle and a bazillion others.])
Anyway, Sam's all worried and whatnot about whether Callen's ready to come back so quickly and says as much.
Callen: *scoffs* What are you, my mother or something?
Sam: You could use one.
And then they just stand there, smiling at each other way too long. Aww ;3; They also bring up Callen's habit of moving really often, and Sam seems to be very much in the loop on Callen's apartment woes (he, like, lists Callen's reasons for moving out from five of his past apartments or so). Their banter is so much fun and truly shows how comfortable these two are with each other.
There was also another cute bout of banter in this episode I wrote down but didn't cap. The guys were going through the dead guy's apartment and Sam happened across some birthday cards:
Sam: His birthday was two months ago. How long do you leave birthday cards on display?
Callen: I don't know. Never got one.
Sam: *disbelieving look* You've never gotten a single birthday card?
Callen: Nope.
Sam: *smiles*
Callen: What? It's not a big deal.
Sam: I'm definitely giving you a birthday card this year.
Callen: Great. You make sure you put some money in it.
Sam: I'm gonna put a personality in it.
These two are just way too sweet together ♥
Anyway, the team has a new addition in the form of Dom, the newbie standing next to Callen. Of course, Sam decides to wig the new kid out a little.
Kensi: So why the hood and the nylon ties?
Callen: Well, they don't want him to see where they're taking him, so they tie his hands so he's not tempted to lift the hood and peek.
Sam: Yeah. It's common practice in the Middle East. I've used the technique a few times myself.
(Note how Sam's looking at Callen to make sure that he gets the joke.)
And then Sam winks at Callen. Don't believe me? Here.
Callen's all...
"Hee, that's my boyfriend for you."
The end of the episode was terribly sweet too. Callen still doesn't have a place to sleep (Hetty basically told him to GTFO of their headquarters, but then gave him a stack of paperwork to provide him with an excuse to stay there anyway for the night), so Sam comes up to him.
Sam: Sofa's free at my place.
Callen: Noisy.
Sam: Okay. Night, G. (He does look awfully sad about Callen turning down his offer, though. Also, it's canon that Callen's at least been over at Sam's place >3)
And then they bump fists ♥
1x02 (The episode to watch if you're in it for the slash. Seriously.)
The basic plot of the episode is that a group of marines rob a well-known drug dealer's pad, leaving some bodies in their wake etc. Sam recognizes one of the robbers as his SEAL buddy, so he and Callen go talk to him. The exchange that follows is the epitome of hilarity and slashiness :'D
Callen: So when was the last time you saw this guy?
Sam: Bosnia.
Callen: You have history with him? (I just love his double take here.)
Sam: We weren't dating, if that's what you're asking. SEALs work together as a team. Holgate had a tendency to act like a lone wolf, if you know what I'm talking about.
Callen: Actually, half the time I don't know what you're talking about...
Callen: ...and the rest of the time I just disagree.
Sam: I really look forward to having Dom as a partner.
Callen: You'd miss me. I complete you.
ETA This scene was originally even slashier in the promo. Like, holy God level of slashy :'D Thanks, fuzzybluemonkey for mentioning the promo in the comments ♥ [Edited to add a working link. Thanks for letting me know the promo had been deleted, chase65!]
Hee! First of all, I love it how Sam's immediate response to Callen's slightly surprised, suspicious question is to talk about dating the man, not anything else. Of course, Sam was just joking, but it's little things like this that make me love this pairing so much. And then there's the whole ~Brokeback Mountain~ esque thing with Callen completing Sam~. (Another thing I liked about this episode was Callen immediately coming to Sam's defense when Nate questioned his commitment to the case.)
After the case is solved, Callen saunters into the den to talk with Sam who's putting his rifle away. And thus commences one of the slashiest conversations ever:
Callen: So, you still mad at Holgate and those guys for what they did?
Sam: I get why they did it, I get what they did. When you're in combat together, trust someone with your life, it's a brotherhood forged in fire.
Callen: *pause* Well, we've been shot at. Lotta times.
Sam: I didn't mean it like that.
Callen: *starts advancing towards Sam* Oh, we don't have a brotherfood forged in fire?
Sam: Okay, okay, stop.
Callen: I even brought you a beer to cheer you up.
Sam: Don't make me break this rifle outta here.
Callen hands Sam his beer...
...they toast and then...
Callen: Love you, man.
Sam: Good night.
So. Doing. It.
1x03
The third episode wasn't as epic in the slash department... no, wait, it totally was! To be quite honest, I can't really remember what the plot was about - something to do with remote-controlled drones or something - but hee at the boys.
The whole episode starts with the guys relaxing in the den with Kensi, who's talking about her date the previous night.
Kensi: Look you guys, I am the best first date girl in town. I bring my A game: funny, flirty, charming, spontaneous, tasteful.
Sam: Like me.
Callen: And the second?
Kensi: Second date: antsy, bored, distant, impatient, irritable.
Sam: Like G.
Callen's amused/annoyed look at Sam...
...gets a wide grin in response.
So cute ;3;
Of course, Callen gets Sam back for teasing him. And how: the guys are staking out someplace or another, I forget. They had to interview this young guy who was controlling a military drone before it veered off course and killed another marine, and Sam was pretty shaken up by the whole thing. Callen, of course, needles him a little~.
Callen: You went soft on him. Briggs.
Sam: Man, I know you're not gonna go here with me right now. We're in the middle of chasing our only lead on our only suspect.
Callen: You know, your ears wiggle when you try to avoid a conversation. *pause* It's kind of adorable. (Trufax: When I first watched this episode, I had to pause after Callen's first line to squee and then again after his second :'D)
Callen: *wiggles his brows*
Sam's clearly having problems keeping a straight face :'D
Sam: Okay. For years I dreamed of being a SEAL. I gave up everything else to get there. Everything. If I saw the finish line and found out that the Navy was gonna bump me somewhere else? I'd be angry too.
And Callen just goes "huh" and gets out of the car.
Sam: *sullen* And my ears don't wiggle. *checks in the mirror*
What I liked about this scene was Callen combining really wanting to know about why Sam reacted the way he did and teasing the everliving hell out of him at the same time. Callen clearly cares about Sam, and probably figured that this would be the only way to get him to open up about anything. Aww ♥
Later on in the episode, the guys talk to one suspect's boss.
Bossman: Trust me. You open that door up, you're asking for a needy, whiny slacker of a colleague.
Callen: I know exactly what you mean.
Sam's epic bitchface is epic.
After the dude drives away...
Sam: I don't whine, I'm not needy and I don't slack.
Callen: Two outta three ain't bad.
These two are ace at the whole "walking away from you while still looking you in the eye to the point of having to crane my neck back" thing ♥
And at the end of the episode, they leave together~.
So married!
1x04
This one only had one outright slashy scene and even that was sneaky.
So what do two very macho men do when bored out of their minds on a stakeout? (P.S. Mmm, please keep sucking on things, Chris O'Donnell. Thank you.)
Make out. Origami!
No, seriously.
Cue hilarious snarking about Sam's swan looking more like a toad or a duck than a swan. (I looove the way the guys played this one out from Callen's bitching to Sam's defensive "It's a swan." :'D) Of course, no matter how much Callen might snark about Sam's origami...
...his is the only birdie Callen actually kept ♥
No, seriously ;3;
Misc. Cuteness
Sam and Callen are always watching each other.
And sharing personal space.
Also, they are still masters of...
...the whole "walking away from you while still looking you in the eye to the point of having to crane my neck back" thing ♥
I loved the way Sam just kind of... grabbed Callen's arm to herd him along~.
Also, at some point when they're split up at a drug dealer's house...
...Callen turns around to shoot Sam a worried look...
...only to realize that Sam was already watching him.
And when Callen shoots a bad guy right before he would've killed Sam...
(I love how shaken Callen looked; he was so afraid his partner might get hurt.)
...Sam gives him a relieved smile.
Sam isn't the only one that tows the other around via grabby hands ♥
Callen also doesn't let go immediately.
Callen enjoys lounging around in front of his boyfriend partner.
I totally first thought they were holding hands.
Mmm, lean a little closer to whisper in Callen's ear, why don't you, Sam?
P.S. What the butt was Sam wearing?
Much better, even if Callen's jeans were way too tight ♥
And finally, one of my favorite scenes. It just sums everything I love about this pairing into one moment of silence. (Sam is shaken after they find a dead marine on the beach, and steps away from everyone to stare out at the water.)
Callen will always be there for him. Oh, my heart ♥
So yay, hot guys bickering like a married couple, innuendo up the wazoo, and fairly okay cases every week! What's there not to like? \o/
And now it's back to the grind with meeee~. The last ten/twenty pages of my theory section, here I come!
[lyrics in subject from Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode (or Johnny Cash).]