same ol' shit so they say

[gadhar13]

I haven't really been online in awhile, which is sad, honestly. I really wish I was, if only to write some fic and chat but I just can't seen to find the time or motivation. I'm so fucking exhausted all the time it's ridiculous

Comments

[wanderingsmith]

Like one day it's okay, and then a switch gets flipped and suddenly everything is too much.
the joy of having been created a walking chemistry set.

but yes, always remember that other day when things were NOT so bad.. and keep firm grasp of the doubt that memory plants of just how this moment should be interpreted.

not gonna tell ya you have plenty to live for. that you are tougher and better than the shit. you already know it. and hte words ain't gonna change the current chemistry compound having ascendancy.

will point out that eating, drinking and **sleeping** all do a hell of a lot to keep that chemistry a little less hellish.

the shit that, well, they say it's everywhere so like, there's no reason to leave a place because of it right?..yes. and no. all jobs have shit people and all jobs have stress. but if the stress and shit are because of specific fucked-up people and specific history.. those are not present in other jobs

[gadhar13]

will point out that eating, drinking and **sleeping** all do a hell of a lot to keep that chemistry a little less hellish.I'm trying, really, even on the one day where I didn't take a break because it was that busy, I didn't plan on eating. Didn't think I could keep anything down but there was also so much shit to do that I just wasn't concerned with it. Starbucks kept bugging me to eat, then my best friend was like "you want a salad to take home?", he hadn't eaten yet either, told him no but he made one anyway. Knows me well enough to know I won't turn down something he's made. It's been easier today, kept the salad and the sandwich and fries I ate down

[wanderingsmith]

I feel as though I need this promotion first, and then I need a little experience in the position but after that,
just a thought for you? when they ask at an interview 'why d'you want to leave this job you have' easier to say, 'cause I want to move up and there was no room there' instead of 'oh, I just got promoted, yeah.. but I've learned all I can. and they're shit bosses.. and I think you're better'...

.feel as though there's still more I'm supposed to learn/get from this place.
what you're getting is ill-health and a lower opinion of humanity. ill-health makes it harder to look for another job and hten deal wit hte stress of learning a new job in a graceful way that gets you to keep said nice new job...

my ex-friend was trying to excuse what she's been doing by pinning the blame on me
THAT

I do know ex-friend complained to DM about another friend and he got in trouble over nothing because of it. So I don't knowyes. you do know. you don't like it. but you do know. I'm sure stonebanks had the wool over barney's eyes for

[gadhar13]

just a thought for you? when they ask at an interview 'why d'you want to leave this job you have' easier to say, 'cause I want to move up and there was no room there' instead of 'oh, I just got promoted, yeah.. but I've learned all I can. and they're shit bosses.. and I think you're better'...

sad thing is, it's not even MY bosses. It's my bosses bosses that are the asshats.

Either way...just got put into training for the position yesterday so, 3 weeks time the promotion should be offical. I'm just going to go from there.

i'm doing a lot better though, at least, it feels like I am. Appetite's finally back, slept until fucking 6 p.m. today but...it felt necessary. i'm gonna start working on backup plans though. Second jobs that may become my only job and such. Start getting everything sorta settled.

[wanderingsmith]