Fic: Give Me A Reason
I'm posting this for ashzidi
Title: Give Me A Reason
Author: ashzidi
Rating: on ff.net it would be K+
Word count: 2,376?
Beta: ncis_love
For: nomadicdragon
Requested romance, angst and Abby leaving or threatening to quit.
Did not want heavy violence, rape or character death.
Summary: Abby tells Gibbs she is leaving. Can he find a reason to make her stay?
He couldn’t believe he had heard her correctly. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She had said before that she would never leave, but here she was, in his living room, tearfully telling him otherwise. He could hear her talking, see her lips moving, but he wasn’t putting in the effort to actually listen or read them. He felt as if a wave of darkness had washed over him and he wasn’t sure if it would ebb away.
A sudden noise startled him out of his blanked state. Looking around, he realized he was alone. There was no trace of her. Maybe she had never been there at all. Maybe it was a mix of the pain meds washed down with bourbon. Skillfully maneuvering himself off the couch as he had for the last couple of weeks with an injured shoulder, he headed for the door and swung it open just in time to see her pull away from the house.
What the hell just happened? he asked himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby cried as she watched Director Vance sign the transfer papers she had requested earlier that week. He hesitated half way through his signature and asked if she was alright when he heard her sobbing. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Did she really want this? She wasn’t totally confident about that. Did she need to do this? She had convinced herself she did. She couldn’t stand it anymore. He had been so distant from her the last few months, claiming he needed time. He rarely kissed her cheek, brought her drinks, and when he did, it lacked the usual enthusiasm it carried. Well, as enthusiastic as Gibbs gets, that is. Bound and determined to confront him about it one night, she drove to his house. Her heart sank as she saw him with that Hart lawyer lady through his window.
How could he do this to her? She professed her feelings, bare and truthful, and he ran a dagger through her heart. She thought it was just her. Not a red head. But how would that matter? They weren’t all red heads anyway. This one…this one was dark haired just like herself. Only Abby didn’t think of herself as a cold hearted bitch. Maybe that’s what she needed to be; cold, shrewd, unforgiving and callous.
Who was she kidding? She just didn’t have it in her. She loved Gibbs. She had told him so. And he turned away from her. Even still, she pined for him. Seeing him at work temporarily lifted her mood, until he left the room and she thought about where he would be going next; right into that other woman’s arms. She couldn’t stand being around him anymore, thinking of her anymore. That’s when she decided to ask Director Vance for a transfer to Los Angeles. After verifying with her multiple times, he finally granted her request. She was due to leave at the end of next week. Good, she thought. The sooner, the better.
She went to Gibbs the next day. She couldn’t be cold hearted enough not to tell him face to face what was going to happen. Though she doubted he cared. That’s not true. She figured he would care, but hoped, in a way, he wouldn’t. That would make it easier for her to go. He answered the door and invited her in. As he sat on the couch and offered her a seat, she blurted out that she was leaving. She informed him of her request and where she would be going to. Gibbs said nothing. He sat silently, barely even moving. She rambled on about her feelings for him and what he felt, or didn’t feel, for her. When she asked for a reason, any reason, he would want her to stay, he said nothing. He just looked at her with blank eyes. As a sob escaped her throat, she said goodbye and left the house. Just as she was pulling away, she saw him standing in the doorway. Tempted to turn around, she turned up the radio and drove on, crying the whole way home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gibbs picked up his cell phone and pushed the button to call McGee, before quickly hanging up. McGee wasn’t the right person to ask for help this time. He glanced through his contacts list (he at least knew how to do that) and crossed each person off the list. Tony would want to be a part of the conversation, possibly support her decision. Ducky would overanalyze the whole situation and “shrink” him on the way there. Ziva would get them both killed on the way to Abby’s house. Abby wouldn’t step foot back in his house. Fornell…ah, screw him. He didn’t want the man driving his car again and Gibbs knew if he had to ask Fornell for a ride, he would insist on using his car.
Cab company it is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gibbs handed the cab driver payment and tip for the ride. Exiting the car, he headed up the steps to Abby’s place. He stopped outside her door, and waited. For what, he wasn’t sure. He hadn’t thought about what he was going to do once he got there. He just knew he had to be here. If only he had heard the rest of what she had said. If only he hadn’t blocked her out. If only he spent more time with her this last few months. If only, if only, if only… They kept coming and he couldn’t help but rethink his decision.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Abbs…what are you trying to say?”
She took a deep breath. Her rambling sometimes took a lot out of her. She built up her courage to just blurt it out. “Gibbs…I love you.”
His heart fluttered and sank all at the same time. The timing was wrong. Why now, why did she have to choose now? After all her had done to try to put distance between them seeing the looming danger Bell and his minion lawyer chick were about to cause, he didn’t want Abby caught in the crosshairs. He had a plan for Ms. Hart just as she had a plan for him. He was hoping to keep Abby out of it, but that now seemed impossible. “I…” he started trying to turn her down but it was harder than he thought. “I need some time…Abby.” He saw her eyes swell even more and he swore he felt his heart break. Resisting the urge to reach out to her, he watched as she took a step back.
“Right. Of course you do.” She cleared her throat trying to conceal the vulnerability she was currently feeling. “I’m sorry I sprung that on you like that. I know it was a lot to absorb.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad you told me.” And he was. He felt the happiest he had felt in a long while, but, at the same time, the worst. He knew she would understand his reasons behind it, but he couldn’t get her involved. She would want to help and that was too dangerous. He couldn’t lose her. “I’m not saying no, Abby.” Her head turned away, not wanting to see him while he rejected her. “I just need to think things through.” He knew he sounded cold hearted, but wasn’t sure how else to say it. She simply nodded without turning back towards him and he silently sulked out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby heard the knock on the door and thought about ignoring it. However, when the second more forceful knock came, she knew it was Gibbs and didn’t have the will power to resist. She slowly opened it and leaned against the doorway. He could tell she had been crying again recently and wondered if she had even stopped since. “What are you doing here?” she asked in a husky voice filled with too many emotions to pinpoint.
“I wanted to see how you were. You seemed upset earlier.” Real smooth, he thought, mentally kicking himself for not coming up with something better than that.
Abby chuckled. “I seemed upset?” she asked sarcastically. “Really? Picked up on that did you?”
Now I’m getting sarcasm? “What’s going on?”
“I’m packing,” she said turning back into her apartment. Gibbs followed her inside and closed the door behind him.
“Why?”
“Because I’m moving, remember?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you leaving?”
Abby sighed. She knew this was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier. “I love it at NCIS, Gibbs. I do. I love the job and everyone there.” Including you, she said to herself.
“But?”
“But its time for me to move on. I’ve been here for almost 12 years now. That’s the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I need a fresh start. I need something…new. I‘m getting restless and stir-crazy.”
Gibbs considered Abby’s story. She did like to move around a lot. When she first joined NCIS, he was worried she wouldn’t be reliable and soon skip town at a moments notice. But she hadn’t. She had stayed and been the best worker he had ever known. “Bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t believe you.”
Abby huffed and turned away from Gibbs. She paced a second, turned back around, paced some more. “I don’t care if you don’t believe me!”
“I don’t believe that either.” Abby made an unflattering, frustrated grunt. “What’s the real reason?”
“That is the real-”.
“No, its not.”
“Gibbs, please…”
“Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Its you, alright?!” she shouted. “Its all you! I told you that I had feelings for you and that…that I loved you! And what do you do? You turn around and start…macking…with that Hart chick!”
Silence descended the room and Gibbs and Abby both let the words sink in. “Its not what you think,” he said barely above a whisper.
Abby laughed. “I totally saw you and her, Gibbs! You were making out in your living room like teenagers in a prom parking lot!” Gibbs stayed silent. What else was he to do? If he told her, she would try to help and that wouldn’t be helping. She’d become a liability; someone else he could let down and lose. But by the sounds of it, he had already done both of those things. “How could you do that to me, Gibbs? How could you of all people hurt me like that?”
He stepped closer to her. “Abby, I do want to be with you. Believe me when I say that. Right now is just bad timing. I just need some time.”
“You already asked for time and you seemed to have made you decision.” She turned and left the room. He didn’t hesitate to follow her.
She stood at the sink and started working on some dishes. Gibbs leaned against the entrance frame and watched her. He could see wheels spinning in her head, not fully concentrated on the actual task at hand. “Don’t leave, Abbs.” He felt shaky in his voice but silently cleared it as to not sound that way again. “Please.”
Abby sat her plate she was holding back in the sink and stared at the wall in front of her. “I can’t stand to see you with her,” she whispered.
“I know. It’s just for a short while. It’ll be worth it, Abbs. In the end. I just…”
“Need more time?” Gibbs nodded. “What have you got planned?” She asked curiously.
“I can’t tell you that.”
Abby smirked and lowered her head. “You used to tell me everything….”
“No,” Gibbs said, this time with his own underlying smirk, “that was always you.”
“Give me a reason to stay, Gibbs. A good reason.” Abby turned and leaned against the sink counter.
Gibbs took his chance and walked up in front of her. He slowly reached out and took a hold of her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “I need you here. With me.” His hands slid down her arms to her hands and held them. “I can’t lose you, Abby. I hope that‘s a good enough reason for you, but just in case…I love you, too.”
Abby flung herself into Gibbs arms and hugged him as tightly as she could. Gibbs didn’t think it was tight enough and squeezed her back. “God, Gibbs. What am I going to do? To see you with her all the time?”
“It won’t be all the time. I’ll keep her from you the best I can. I promise.”
“Just keep her out of my lab, okay?” Abby suddenly jumped back and looked Gibbs straight into the eye in full panic mode. “Oh my God! My lab! I signed transfer papers and everything! I have to call Vance right now!” She slipped from his grip and lunged for her phone on the dining room table. She waited for an answer while Gibbs stood by, amused by the unfolding show. “Cynthia! Please, please, please tell me the director hasn’t left yet?” She waited for an answer then started jumping up and down all excited like a school girl. “Director Vance!” She shouted into the phone. “Thank God, you answered! I know I am being a pain but is it still too late for me to stop those transfer papers?” She calmly waited and Gibbs smiled at the side glance she threw him. Her lips were tightened up as she listened to Vance tell her that he never actually filed the request in the first place. At seeing Gibbs’ smile, her pursed lips soon formed an amusing smile. “Thank you so much, Director Vance! This means so much to me! Thank you!” And with that she hung up the phone.
“Good news I take it?”
“He never filed my request, so there was nothing to take back! It’s good for now, but what if I really wanted to go? I would have had to wait for approvals and…whatever else it is they need to do.”
“Well, I’m glad it all worked out for you.”
“Not that it matters,” Abby said sidling up next to Gibbs. “I hear someone already called and asked them to be stopped half an hour ago. Know anything about that?”
“Nope. No idea. But whoever they were, I bet they are one happy son of a bitch!”
Title: Give Me A Reason
Author: ashzidi
Rating: on ff.net it would be K+
Word count: 2,376?
Beta: ncis_love
For: nomadicdragon
Requested romance, angst and Abby leaving or threatening to quit.
Did not want heavy violence, rape or character death.
Summary: Abby tells Gibbs she is leaving. Can he find a reason to make her stay?
He couldn’t believe he had heard her correctly. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She had said before that she would never leave, but here she was, in his living room, tearfully telling him otherwise. He could hear her talking, see her lips moving, but he wasn’t putting in the effort to actually listen or read them. He felt as if a wave of darkness had washed over him and he wasn’t sure if it would ebb away.
A sudden noise startled him out of his blanked state. Looking around, he realized he was alone. There was no trace of her. Maybe she had never been there at all. Maybe it was a mix of the pain meds washed down with bourbon. Skillfully maneuvering himself off the couch as he had for the last couple of weeks with an injured shoulder, he headed for the door and swung it open just in time to see her pull away from the house.
What the hell just happened? he asked himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby cried as she watched Director Vance sign the transfer papers she had requested earlier that week. He hesitated half way through his signature and asked if she was alright when he heard her sobbing. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Did she really want this? She wasn’t totally confident about that. Did she need to do this? She had convinced herself she did. She couldn’t stand it anymore. He had been so distant from her the last few months, claiming he needed time. He rarely kissed her cheek, brought her drinks, and when he did, it lacked the usual enthusiasm it carried. Well, as enthusiastic as Gibbs gets, that is. Bound and determined to confront him about it one night, she drove to his house. Her heart sank as she saw him with that Hart lawyer lady through his window.
How could he do this to her? She professed her feelings, bare and truthful, and he ran a dagger through her heart. She thought it was just her. Not a red head. But how would that matter? They weren’t all red heads anyway. This one…this one was dark haired just like herself. Only Abby didn’t think of herself as a cold hearted bitch. Maybe that’s what she needed to be; cold, shrewd, unforgiving and callous.
Who was she kidding? She just didn’t have it in her. She loved Gibbs. She had told him so. And he turned away from her. Even still, she pined for him. Seeing him at work temporarily lifted her mood, until he left the room and she thought about where he would be going next; right into that other woman’s arms. She couldn’t stand being around him anymore, thinking of her anymore. That’s when she decided to ask Director Vance for a transfer to Los Angeles. After verifying with her multiple times, he finally granted her request. She was due to leave at the end of next week. Good, she thought. The sooner, the better.
She went to Gibbs the next day. She couldn’t be cold hearted enough not to tell him face to face what was going to happen. Though she doubted he cared. That’s not true. She figured he would care, but hoped, in a way, he wouldn’t. That would make it easier for her to go. He answered the door and invited her in. As he sat on the couch and offered her a seat, she blurted out that she was leaving. She informed him of her request and where she would be going to. Gibbs said nothing. He sat silently, barely even moving. She rambled on about her feelings for him and what he felt, or didn’t feel, for her. When she asked for a reason, any reason, he would want her to stay, he said nothing. He just looked at her with blank eyes. As a sob escaped her throat, she said goodbye and left the house. Just as she was pulling away, she saw him standing in the doorway. Tempted to turn around, she turned up the radio and drove on, crying the whole way home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gibbs picked up his cell phone and pushed the button to call McGee, before quickly hanging up. McGee wasn’t the right person to ask for help this time. He glanced through his contacts list (he at least knew how to do that) and crossed each person off the list. Tony would want to be a part of the conversation, possibly support her decision. Ducky would overanalyze the whole situation and “shrink” him on the way there. Ziva would get them both killed on the way to Abby’s house. Abby wouldn’t step foot back in his house. Fornell…ah, screw him. He didn’t want the man driving his car again and Gibbs knew if he had to ask Fornell for a ride, he would insist on using his car.
Cab company it is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gibbs handed the cab driver payment and tip for the ride. Exiting the car, he headed up the steps to Abby’s place. He stopped outside her door, and waited. For what, he wasn’t sure. He hadn’t thought about what he was going to do once he got there. He just knew he had to be here. If only he had heard the rest of what she had said. If only he hadn’t blocked her out. If only he spent more time with her this last few months. If only, if only, if only… They kept coming and he couldn’t help but rethink his decision.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Abbs…what are you trying to say?”
She took a deep breath. Her rambling sometimes took a lot out of her. She built up her courage to just blurt it out. “Gibbs…I love you.”
His heart fluttered and sank all at the same time. The timing was wrong. Why now, why did she have to choose now? After all her had done to try to put distance between them seeing the looming danger Bell and his minion lawyer chick were about to cause, he didn’t want Abby caught in the crosshairs. He had a plan for Ms. Hart just as she had a plan for him. He was hoping to keep Abby out of it, but that now seemed impossible. “I…” he started trying to turn her down but it was harder than he thought. “I need some time…Abby.” He saw her eyes swell even more and he swore he felt his heart break. Resisting the urge to reach out to her, he watched as she took a step back.
“Right. Of course you do.” She cleared her throat trying to conceal the vulnerability she was currently feeling. “I’m sorry I sprung that on you like that. I know it was a lot to absorb.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad you told me.” And he was. He felt the happiest he had felt in a long while, but, at the same time, the worst. He knew she would understand his reasons behind it, but he couldn’t get her involved. She would want to help and that was too dangerous. He couldn’t lose her. “I’m not saying no, Abby.” Her head turned away, not wanting to see him while he rejected her. “I just need to think things through.” He knew he sounded cold hearted, but wasn’t sure how else to say it. She simply nodded without turning back towards him and he silently sulked out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby heard the knock on the door and thought about ignoring it. However, when the second more forceful knock came, she knew it was Gibbs and didn’t have the will power to resist. She slowly opened it and leaned against the doorway. He could tell she had been crying again recently and wondered if she had even stopped since. “What are you doing here?” she asked in a husky voice filled with too many emotions to pinpoint.
“I wanted to see how you were. You seemed upset earlier.” Real smooth, he thought, mentally kicking himself for not coming up with something better than that.
Abby chuckled. “I seemed upset?” she asked sarcastically. “Really? Picked up on that did you?”
Now I’m getting sarcasm? “What’s going on?”
“I’m packing,” she said turning back into her apartment. Gibbs followed her inside and closed the door behind him.
“Why?”
“Because I’m moving, remember?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you leaving?”
Abby sighed. She knew this was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier. “I love it at NCIS, Gibbs. I do. I love the job and everyone there.” Including you, she said to herself.
“But?”
“But its time for me to move on. I’ve been here for almost 12 years now. That’s the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I need a fresh start. I need something…new. I‘m getting restless and stir-crazy.”
Gibbs considered Abby’s story. She did like to move around a lot. When she first joined NCIS, he was worried she wouldn’t be reliable and soon skip town at a moments notice. But she hadn’t. She had stayed and been the best worker he had ever known. “Bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t believe you.”
Abby huffed and turned away from Gibbs. She paced a second, turned back around, paced some more. “I don’t care if you don’t believe me!”
“I don’t believe that either.” Abby made an unflattering, frustrated grunt. “What’s the real reason?”
“That is the real-”.
“No, its not.”
“Gibbs, please…”
“Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Its you, alright?!” she shouted. “Its all you! I told you that I had feelings for you and that…that I loved you! And what do you do? You turn around and start…macking…with that Hart chick!”
Silence descended the room and Gibbs and Abby both let the words sink in. “Its not what you think,” he said barely above a whisper.
Abby laughed. “I totally saw you and her, Gibbs! You were making out in your living room like teenagers in a prom parking lot!” Gibbs stayed silent. What else was he to do? If he told her, she would try to help and that wouldn’t be helping. She’d become a liability; someone else he could let down and lose. But by the sounds of it, he had already done both of those things. “How could you do that to me, Gibbs? How could you of all people hurt me like that?”
He stepped closer to her. “Abby, I do want to be with you. Believe me when I say that. Right now is just bad timing. I just need some time.”
“You already asked for time and you seemed to have made you decision.” She turned and left the room. He didn’t hesitate to follow her.
She stood at the sink and started working on some dishes. Gibbs leaned against the entrance frame and watched her. He could see wheels spinning in her head, not fully concentrated on the actual task at hand. “Don’t leave, Abbs.” He felt shaky in his voice but silently cleared it as to not sound that way again. “Please.”
Abby sat her plate she was holding back in the sink and stared at the wall in front of her. “I can’t stand to see you with her,” she whispered.
“I know. It’s just for a short while. It’ll be worth it, Abbs. In the end. I just…”
“Need more time?” Gibbs nodded. “What have you got planned?” She asked curiously.
“I can’t tell you that.”
Abby smirked and lowered her head. “You used to tell me everything….”
“No,” Gibbs said, this time with his own underlying smirk, “that was always you.”
“Give me a reason to stay, Gibbs. A good reason.” Abby turned and leaned against the sink counter.
Gibbs took his chance and walked up in front of her. He slowly reached out and took a hold of her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “I need you here. With me.” His hands slid down her arms to her hands and held them. “I can’t lose you, Abby. I hope that‘s a good enough reason for you, but just in case…I love you, too.”
Abby flung herself into Gibbs arms and hugged him as tightly as she could. Gibbs didn’t think it was tight enough and squeezed her back. “God, Gibbs. What am I going to do? To see you with her all the time?”
“It won’t be all the time. I’ll keep her from you the best I can. I promise.”
“Just keep her out of my lab, okay?” Abby suddenly jumped back and looked Gibbs straight into the eye in full panic mode. “Oh my God! My lab! I signed transfer papers and everything! I have to call Vance right now!” She slipped from his grip and lunged for her phone on the dining room table. She waited for an answer while Gibbs stood by, amused by the unfolding show. “Cynthia! Please, please, please tell me the director hasn’t left yet?” She waited for an answer then started jumping up and down all excited like a school girl. “Director Vance!” She shouted into the phone. “Thank God, you answered! I know I am being a pain but is it still too late for me to stop those transfer papers?” She calmly waited and Gibbs smiled at the side glance she threw him. Her lips were tightened up as she listened to Vance tell her that he never actually filed the request in the first place. At seeing Gibbs’ smile, her pursed lips soon formed an amusing smile. “Thank you so much, Director Vance! This means so much to me! Thank you!” And with that she hung up the phone.
“Good news I take it?”
“He never filed my request, so there was nothing to take back! It’s good for now, but what if I really wanted to go? I would have had to wait for approvals and…whatever else it is they need to do.”
“Well, I’m glad it all worked out for you.”
“Not that it matters,” Abby said sidling up next to Gibbs. “I hear someone already called and asked them to be stopped half an hour ago. Know anything about that?”
“Nope. No idea. But whoever they were, I bet they are one happy son of a bitch!”