This an incredibly disturbing story; it almost feels like you should have warned for horror. Brilliant dystopia, though. I was half-afraid, half-hoping that once all the familiar characters came into play, the character dynamics would revert to the SGA standard and the disturbing setting would recede into the background, but you did a very good job of maintaining the creepy atmosphere from the time Mitchell is introduced to the end.
Anyway, I've stayed up way past the time I was supposed to go to bed (reading this was a better stimulant than caffeine), and it'll take me a while to digest it properly. I promise I'll give you more detailed feedback tomorrow :)
But, but, but, noooooo! you can't leave it There! ARGH!!! You shoot John and him and Rodney just find each other and never have any time...... *pout* Okay, what can I say, I love the long involved story, totally interesting AU, but I wanted a much happier ending. *sniff*
FABULOUS STORY
anonymous
August 24 2007, 11:19:06 UTC
Brilliant writing, as always. This will become a classic in SGA fiction. I'll be re-reading it again and again.
One criticism, though. You refer to one character as a young'Negro'. Um, nowadays, many of us tend not to accept that description of us. It comes out of slavery and colonialism, you see. Any chance you might consider changing it?
Re: FABULOUS STORYgaiaanarchyAugust 24 2007, 17:35:47 UTC
I don't know if you'll see this reply, as you commented anonymously, but I just wanted to make sure that it was clear that calling Aiden a 'Negro' wasn't done in a racist way, but as a signal about the world and its backstory
( ... )
This was a brilliant story. I really enjoyed your AU world; the fact that I had to actively think to orient myself in the setting, without it being dumbed down, lent weight to the world building. The way you recasted the different SG characters was original as well. And I'm always for smutty interludes, and this had some particularly delicious ones.
As was commented above, I felt a little cheated that there was no post-climax (heh) Rodney/John scene. Also, I think you could easily go in and stretch out some of the scenes; for example, the confrontation with Adria seemed just a little bit rushed.
Overall, though, lovely job. I would definitely like to see more set in this world.
Comments 12
Anyway, I've stayed up way past the time I was supposed to go to bed (reading this was a better stimulant than caffeine), and it'll take me a while to digest it properly. I promise I'll give you more detailed feedback tomorrow :)
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This will become a classic in SGA fiction.
I'll be re-reading it again and again.
One criticism, though.
You refer to one character as a young'Negro'. Um, nowadays, many of us tend not to accept that description of us. It comes out of slavery and colonialism, you see. Any chance you might consider changing it?
Anne Marie Joseph
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As was commented above, I felt a little cheated that there was no post-climax (heh) Rodney/John scene. Also, I think you could easily go in and stretch out some of the scenes; for example, the confrontation with Adria seemed just a little bit rushed.
Overall, though, lovely job. I would definitely like to see more set in this world.
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