[LOG] the talk (Kabaji and Atobe)
Who: Kabaji Munehiro and Atobe Keigo
What: Atobe has the talk with Kabaji
When: 7 August
Where: Kabaji's room
Rating: G
Kabaji approached the door to the dorm room. Atobe had suddenly summoned him. He wasn’t sure why. He hoped it wasn’t because he was disappointed in him over his match against Oshitari-san. Or maybe, he was angry because he sort of cheered for Ryoma, something that in all his time at Hyotei, he would never have done. But he had made a promise and he kept his word, always.
Taking a small deep breath, he knocked softly before peeking in. “Atobe-sama...you wanted to see me?”
"Come in Kabaji." Atobe called from where he was sat at the desk, a cup of tea at his side. "Sit down. We have to talk." Turning to face his friend he reflected that it was one of the benefits....well the only one so far ...to be rooming with the person responsible for this whole mess as he imagined getting Echizen to vacate their room would usually be a battle much harder fought.
Kabaji did as commanded, as he always did. Obediently, he sat on the bed, feeling it sink under his weight. Putting his hands in his lap, he waited for Atobe to speak. Usually when Atobe said they had to talk, Atobe would do most of it. He would just sit there and listen and make sounds now and again to prove he was paying attention. “Usu.” He answered and then nodded for Atobe to start.
Despite the obstacles so far Atobe suddenly felt that the hardest part was just beginning and for a moment he wondered if this was how a parent might feel when giving 'the talk' he had heard his class and team mates moan about. "Kabaji...." He began, picking up the tea cup to wet his suddenly dry mouth. "I've become aware that you have acquired an admirer." Here he stopped to raise an eyebrow at the taller teen. "And a rather insistent one at that."
He went a little red at that and automatically, he started to fidget. He couldn’t look Atobe in the eyes. Instead, he stared straight down at his own fiddling fingers. He had talked to Oshitari about this...but Keigo was different. Keigo was his best friend. He was almost like a big brother, they’d been together that long. Keigo had been his first real crush. His first real everything. “I....” he couldn’t even put it into words now. “I do....it...I don’t know what to do. No one has ever liked me before!....and....and....” His shoulders sunk. He didn’t even know where ot begin or what to feel other than complete and utter shock.
Taking in the mess of confusion and emotions in front of him Atobe exhaled deeply and did something that happened more and more rarely as they grew older. Discarding his aura of superiority and indifference he abandoned his seat on the chair and climbed on the bed next to his friend. "Here....look at me." He coaxed gently, placing a hand over Kabaji's to stop those fidgeting fingers. "I only want to help you." He ducked his head to catch Kabaji's eyes and gave his hands a little squeeze. "Or would you rather I stayed out of it?" It was a bitter pill to swallow that nobody from their team had had thought his interference could actually be helpful to one of the few people he honestly cared about.
The bed sunk with the extra weight and he blinked. Atobe had his hands. He looked because he had been told to. His worry and confusion was even more clear in those brown eyes. He honestly didn’t know what to even think about any of this. He had just figured he would go through life without anyone ever liking him like that. It was just so shocking.
He squeezed back weakly and attempted a shy smile. “I....I think...I really need help. I...I just don’t know what to do. Oshitari-san gave me some advice, but...” But to Kabaji, Atobe was the one he would always listen to.
Breathing a soft sigh of relief Atobe nodded. "It's all right Kabaji. I know Yuushi wants to help you as much as I do but he can get rather...fanciful at times." Catching his friend's smile Atobe returned it with a reassuring one of his own. "It can be very overwhelming when somebody confesses to you like this." He firmly swallowed any traces of disapproval he felt. "I imagine you are trying to figure out how to reply, ahn?"
That was an understatement but he could never say that about a friend. Especially a friend that had already gone out of his way to give him advice. He just nodded more. It was very very overwhelming to him. He wasn’t a talker and he was a bit slow on the pick up on certain things and he wasn’t the best choice of bachelors, no matter what Yuushi had said about him being “too good for everyone here”.
“Usu.” He murmured. “I...couldn’t even say anything....” Other than that he needed to think about... It was a LOT for him to contend with. “What...what do you say...when someone...so good looking...and so amazing...tells you...they like you....”
"Well..." For one Atobe sincerely hoped Kabaji hadn't actually told Echizen that or the brat's ego might leave no more space in their shared room for his own. "It is always polite to at least tell that person that you are flattered..." He hummed thoughtfully. "what happens next depends on how you feel about them - if the prospect of their affections makes you uneasy, doesn't interest you or makes you glad." Shifting a little he rested his shoulder against Kabaji's. "Of course if it is the later it is crucial to determine if it is actually that person that makes you feel that way or just the idea that somebody feels that way about you." Twisting his head he peered at Kabaji. "You said Echizen is good looking...but are you at all attracted to him?"
He hadn’t even said that. He had just been so shocked. He felt bad now. How could he have missed such a thing! Such a normal thing! He’d have to remember to do that later. Hopefully, Echizen would forgive him for being so slow. But right now, Atobe was asking a really hard question. One he wasn’t even certain of. Because he had convinced himself that he wasn’t worth liking, he had never allowed himself to be attracted to anyone. Of course, he had a natural attraction to Atobe, but he thought it was like a younger brother to an older sibling. He had followed the heir for so long that he often felt that Keigo was an older brother to him. The concept of following someone else...it was hard to wrap his mind around.
“I....don’t know...” He had to be honest. “I...” He was back to fidgeting. “He’s...really cute...”
Cute was certainly not a word Atobe would have ever used for Echizen but then he wasn't the one the first year was currently obsessed with so that worked out well. "Well...I think the most important thing is that you know ...just because Echizen feels that way about you - or anybody else for that matter - it doesn't mean you owe them anything. If you don't feel the same way then that is perfect all right." He squeezed Kabaji's hand again to make sure this point was understood.
"Ok? You never have to go along with it just because you don't want to hurt their feelings or for any other reason than that you want to be with them. It is important to be honest with yourself about this." He never wanted his friend to feel like had no choice. "And if they don't accept your answer...or give you the time you need." He frowned. "Don't let them pressure you into anything you don't feel ready for. Yuushi or I or your parents will always support you, no matter what you decide on." It was a little awkward to be this open but Atobe ploughed on, determined to do his best for the boy who had always been at his side. "I know Echizen has been the first person to approach you like this...but I want you to promise me that you won't accept him just because of that. If I let him have you I need to know that you really want it - that he makes you happy...with his attentions." The last words were like pitch on his tongue, bitter and difficult to get out.
He nodded. Honestly, a part of him had felt like he did owe Echizen. He owed him something, some sort of answer. He wasn’t aware that he didn’t have to respond until he was ready to. He wondered if he would ever be ready. It was taking a lot for him to even understand that someone out there actually wanted him as more than just a friend.
Kabaji thought hard for a moment. He considered what he could tell Keigo. If it was okay to talk about that. About feelings and things. Especially since Atobe was way saying things about letting Echizen have him. Like he was going to do something to stop things. That was what made his pause a little. He was a little scared that Keigo would get angry if he said anything about he and Ryoma’s interactions. But he needed to say something. He needed to tell someone. Maybe Keigo could help him get his head around it all.
“........he....fits well....on my lap.” They had watched a movie on his cell phone like that. “And...he...seems really affectionate. He...likes...” He started to blush really really red. “kissing me.” Mostly just his neck, since that was easiest to reach. “I....get....” How to put it. “Really flustered. I...I don’t know how to react...or what to do....”
That little...for a moment Atobe saw red but after a few carefully controlled deep breathes he managed to push the need to do something drastic to Echizen to the back of his mind. "That is...rather forward of him." He remarked, bringing his free hand to his lips to stifle a cough. "It is perfectly normal to be...flustered by somebody being this...intimate." Another wave of red was breathed through. "Does it bother you? Or do you enjoy it?" That was the important part - not how he himself felt about it, something he was quite aware of, no matter what Yuushi or the others might think.
Atobe was angry. He could tell. He could always tell. His only thought was that Atobe was angry at him. Angry because he was so useless at this romance thing. Or maybe that he sat there and let things happen to him without argument. Maybe both.
He couldn’t look at Keigo again. “I...don’t know.” He had to be honest. “I....it feels...nice, I guess...” More than nice really. He liked the affection. He just didn’t know what to do with it or how to respond to it other than to get flustered and more embarrassed. He was certain Atobe knew him well enough to have insight on that little pause. “I....I just wish...I wish I knew...why it’s me...why he’s even bothered...with me...”
"Kabaji...Munehiro." Atobe coaxed when his friend wouldn't meet his eyes once again. "There is nothing wrong with enjoying this sort of contact." He rubbed his hand up Kabaji's arm. "And what do you mean...bother with you? Echizen should be glad you even notice him, let alone anything else." So maybe he was a little biased but it was his friend here so he decided he was allowed to be "But you need to figure out if you like the attention because it is from him - or if you like him because he gives you attention." That could be the crux of the matter, and he wasn't sure about how to go about helping Kabaji figure it out either. "Maybe it would be best for Echizen to ..." Keep his hands to himself was NOT the term he could use here Atobe reminded himself. "Restrain his affections a little to give you a chance to work that out."
He swallowed a little. He knew Keigo always the sort that wanted him to be more prideful. Kabaji had such a low opinion of himself. Perhaps it was because he had been around Atobe all his life. He had never been the one in the spotlight. He didn’t know how to handle it at all. He honestly couldn’t see what others seemed to see in him.
He only could nod, because he didn’t have an answer to that. “Oshitari-san...said I should take him out...on the town... Maybe...” He shifted. If they weren’t alone, maybe he could figure out his feelings without being distracted by the feelings he got when Echizen was being affectionate. “Do you think....” How could he put this. “If I do like him...like that.....” Okay. He just couldn’t say it. It was too embarrassing. Instead, he muttered quietly, “I will still be your friend...” Because no one could replace Atobe in his life, no one. And he was worried that if he did end up liking Echizen, Atobe might not want to be around him any more. He knew how Atobe felt about his younger rival.
Sitting up straighter Atobe reached up to touch Kabaji’s shoulder, urging the taller teen to look at him. “You will always...ALWAYS be my friend.” He stared hard at Kabaji, willing the other to believe him and accept this as the simple truth it was. Only once he was reasonably sure that he had gotten through did he address the other problem - of course Yuushi would suggest a date, Atobe barley resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "We'll...it doesn't have to be the town, but I would suggest spending more time with Echizen around other people." Hopefully the bratty first year had more sense of decorum than Shishido and Ootori where public displays of affection were concerned. "Why don't you come over instead of spending the time in your room? I would enjoy spending more time with you again." He smiled placidly, the twist of his lips full of hidden knives.
He knew that. He did. But he was a worrier. He didn’t want to lose someone so important to him because of something silly like emotions and crushes and romance. Atobe-sama was an important person to him. It was a weight off his shoulders to know the older boy was indeed still going to be his friend, no matter what happened.
At the suggestion, he nodded eagerly. It would be nice to spend time with Keigo...and the plus side would be getting to know Ryoma better. “Usu. I think I will. I missed you when you were gone.” He admitted. “And I am part of the cooking club, so I can always bring nice snacks for us.” For Atobe and for Echizen.
"I know you must have." Atobe leaned into his friend. "Though I wish you could have stayed home where it would have been safer for you." And though he wouldn't admit it he was also glad that Kabaji was here now, bringing a piece of his normal life back. "And I'm sure Echizen would enjoy those treats as much as I."
He just smiled more at the closeness and shyly put a friendly arm around Keigo. “Then...I will.” He just hoped Ryoma and Keigo would get along long enough to eat snacks together with him.
What: Atobe has the talk with Kabaji
When: 7 August
Where: Kabaji's room
Rating: G
Kabaji approached the door to the dorm room. Atobe had suddenly summoned him. He wasn’t sure why. He hoped it wasn’t because he was disappointed in him over his match against Oshitari-san. Or maybe, he was angry because he sort of cheered for Ryoma, something that in all his time at Hyotei, he would never have done. But he had made a promise and he kept his word, always.
Taking a small deep breath, he knocked softly before peeking in. “Atobe-sama...you wanted to see me?”
"Come in Kabaji." Atobe called from where he was sat at the desk, a cup of tea at his side. "Sit down. We have to talk." Turning to face his friend he reflected that it was one of the benefits....well the only one so far ...to be rooming with the person responsible for this whole mess as he imagined getting Echizen to vacate their room would usually be a battle much harder fought.
Kabaji did as commanded, as he always did. Obediently, he sat on the bed, feeling it sink under his weight. Putting his hands in his lap, he waited for Atobe to speak. Usually when Atobe said they had to talk, Atobe would do most of it. He would just sit there and listen and make sounds now and again to prove he was paying attention. “Usu.” He answered and then nodded for Atobe to start.
Despite the obstacles so far Atobe suddenly felt that the hardest part was just beginning and for a moment he wondered if this was how a parent might feel when giving 'the talk' he had heard his class and team mates moan about. "Kabaji...." He began, picking up the tea cup to wet his suddenly dry mouth. "I've become aware that you have acquired an admirer." Here he stopped to raise an eyebrow at the taller teen. "And a rather insistent one at that."
He went a little red at that and automatically, he started to fidget. He couldn’t look Atobe in the eyes. Instead, he stared straight down at his own fiddling fingers. He had talked to Oshitari about this...but Keigo was different. Keigo was his best friend. He was almost like a big brother, they’d been together that long. Keigo had been his first real crush. His first real everything. “I....” he couldn’t even put it into words now. “I do....it...I don’t know what to do. No one has ever liked me before!....and....and....” His shoulders sunk. He didn’t even know where ot begin or what to feel other than complete and utter shock.
Taking in the mess of confusion and emotions in front of him Atobe exhaled deeply and did something that happened more and more rarely as they grew older. Discarding his aura of superiority and indifference he abandoned his seat on the chair and climbed on the bed next to his friend. "Here....look at me." He coaxed gently, placing a hand over Kabaji's to stop those fidgeting fingers. "I only want to help you." He ducked his head to catch Kabaji's eyes and gave his hands a little squeeze. "Or would you rather I stayed out of it?" It was a bitter pill to swallow that nobody from their team had had thought his interference could actually be helpful to one of the few people he honestly cared about.
The bed sunk with the extra weight and he blinked. Atobe had his hands. He looked because he had been told to. His worry and confusion was even more clear in those brown eyes. He honestly didn’t know what to even think about any of this. He had just figured he would go through life without anyone ever liking him like that. It was just so shocking.
He squeezed back weakly and attempted a shy smile. “I....I think...I really need help. I...I just don’t know what to do. Oshitari-san gave me some advice, but...” But to Kabaji, Atobe was the one he would always listen to.
Breathing a soft sigh of relief Atobe nodded. "It's all right Kabaji. I know Yuushi wants to help you as much as I do but he can get rather...fanciful at times." Catching his friend's smile Atobe returned it with a reassuring one of his own. "It can be very overwhelming when somebody confesses to you like this." He firmly swallowed any traces of disapproval he felt. "I imagine you are trying to figure out how to reply, ahn?"
That was an understatement but he could never say that about a friend. Especially a friend that had already gone out of his way to give him advice. He just nodded more. It was very very overwhelming to him. He wasn’t a talker and he was a bit slow on the pick up on certain things and he wasn’t the best choice of bachelors, no matter what Yuushi had said about him being “too good for everyone here”.
“Usu.” He murmured. “I...couldn’t even say anything....” Other than that he needed to think about... It was a LOT for him to contend with. “What...what do you say...when someone...so good looking...and so amazing...tells you...they like you....”
"Well..." For one Atobe sincerely hoped Kabaji hadn't actually told Echizen that or the brat's ego might leave no more space in their shared room for his own. "It is always polite to at least tell that person that you are flattered..." He hummed thoughtfully. "what happens next depends on how you feel about them - if the prospect of their affections makes you uneasy, doesn't interest you or makes you glad." Shifting a little he rested his shoulder against Kabaji's. "Of course if it is the later it is crucial to determine if it is actually that person that makes you feel that way or just the idea that somebody feels that way about you." Twisting his head he peered at Kabaji. "You said Echizen is good looking...but are you at all attracted to him?"
He hadn’t even said that. He had just been so shocked. He felt bad now. How could he have missed such a thing! Such a normal thing! He’d have to remember to do that later. Hopefully, Echizen would forgive him for being so slow. But right now, Atobe was asking a really hard question. One he wasn’t even certain of. Because he had convinced himself that he wasn’t worth liking, he had never allowed himself to be attracted to anyone. Of course, he had a natural attraction to Atobe, but he thought it was like a younger brother to an older sibling. He had followed the heir for so long that he often felt that Keigo was an older brother to him. The concept of following someone else...it was hard to wrap his mind around.
“I....don’t know...” He had to be honest. “I...” He was back to fidgeting. “He’s...really cute...”
Cute was certainly not a word Atobe would have ever used for Echizen but then he wasn't the one the first year was currently obsessed with so that worked out well. "Well...I think the most important thing is that you know ...just because Echizen feels that way about you - or anybody else for that matter - it doesn't mean you owe them anything. If you don't feel the same way then that is perfect all right." He squeezed Kabaji's hand again to make sure this point was understood.
"Ok? You never have to go along with it just because you don't want to hurt their feelings or for any other reason than that you want to be with them. It is important to be honest with yourself about this." He never wanted his friend to feel like had no choice. "And if they don't accept your answer...or give you the time you need." He frowned. "Don't let them pressure you into anything you don't feel ready for. Yuushi or I or your parents will always support you, no matter what you decide on." It was a little awkward to be this open but Atobe ploughed on, determined to do his best for the boy who had always been at his side. "I know Echizen has been the first person to approach you like this...but I want you to promise me that you won't accept him just because of that. If I let him have you I need to know that you really want it - that he makes you happy...with his attentions." The last words were like pitch on his tongue, bitter and difficult to get out.
He nodded. Honestly, a part of him had felt like he did owe Echizen. He owed him something, some sort of answer. He wasn’t aware that he didn’t have to respond until he was ready to. He wondered if he would ever be ready. It was taking a lot for him to even understand that someone out there actually wanted him as more than just a friend.
Kabaji thought hard for a moment. He considered what he could tell Keigo. If it was okay to talk about that. About feelings and things. Especially since Atobe was way saying things about letting Echizen have him. Like he was going to do something to stop things. That was what made his pause a little. He was a little scared that Keigo would get angry if he said anything about he and Ryoma’s interactions. But he needed to say something. He needed to tell someone. Maybe Keigo could help him get his head around it all.
“........he....fits well....on my lap.” They had watched a movie on his cell phone like that. “And...he...seems really affectionate. He...likes...” He started to blush really really red. “kissing me.” Mostly just his neck, since that was easiest to reach. “I....get....” How to put it. “Really flustered. I...I don’t know how to react...or what to do....”
That little...for a moment Atobe saw red but after a few carefully controlled deep breathes he managed to push the need to do something drastic to Echizen to the back of his mind. "That is...rather forward of him." He remarked, bringing his free hand to his lips to stifle a cough. "It is perfectly normal to be...flustered by somebody being this...intimate." Another wave of red was breathed through. "Does it bother you? Or do you enjoy it?" That was the important part - not how he himself felt about it, something he was quite aware of, no matter what Yuushi or the others might think.
Atobe was angry. He could tell. He could always tell. His only thought was that Atobe was angry at him. Angry because he was so useless at this romance thing. Or maybe that he sat there and let things happen to him without argument. Maybe both.
He couldn’t look at Keigo again. “I...don’t know.” He had to be honest. “I....it feels...nice, I guess...” More than nice really. He liked the affection. He just didn’t know what to do with it or how to respond to it other than to get flustered and more embarrassed. He was certain Atobe knew him well enough to have insight on that little pause. “I....I just wish...I wish I knew...why it’s me...why he’s even bothered...with me...”
"Kabaji...Munehiro." Atobe coaxed when his friend wouldn't meet his eyes once again. "There is nothing wrong with enjoying this sort of contact." He rubbed his hand up Kabaji's arm. "And what do you mean...bother with you? Echizen should be glad you even notice him, let alone anything else." So maybe he was a little biased but it was his friend here so he decided he was allowed to be "But you need to figure out if you like the attention because it is from him - or if you like him because he gives you attention." That could be the crux of the matter, and he wasn't sure about how to go about helping Kabaji figure it out either. "Maybe it would be best for Echizen to ..." Keep his hands to himself was NOT the term he could use here Atobe reminded himself. "Restrain his affections a little to give you a chance to work that out."
He swallowed a little. He knew Keigo always the sort that wanted him to be more prideful. Kabaji had such a low opinion of himself. Perhaps it was because he had been around Atobe all his life. He had never been the one in the spotlight. He didn’t know how to handle it at all. He honestly couldn’t see what others seemed to see in him.
He only could nod, because he didn’t have an answer to that. “Oshitari-san...said I should take him out...on the town... Maybe...” He shifted. If they weren’t alone, maybe he could figure out his feelings without being distracted by the feelings he got when Echizen was being affectionate. “Do you think....” How could he put this. “If I do like him...like that.....” Okay. He just couldn’t say it. It was too embarrassing. Instead, he muttered quietly, “I will still be your friend...” Because no one could replace Atobe in his life, no one. And he was worried that if he did end up liking Echizen, Atobe might not want to be around him any more. He knew how Atobe felt about his younger rival.
Sitting up straighter Atobe reached up to touch Kabaji’s shoulder, urging the taller teen to look at him. “You will always...ALWAYS be my friend.” He stared hard at Kabaji, willing the other to believe him and accept this as the simple truth it was. Only once he was reasonably sure that he had gotten through did he address the other problem - of course Yuushi would suggest a date, Atobe barley resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "We'll...it doesn't have to be the town, but I would suggest spending more time with Echizen around other people." Hopefully the bratty first year had more sense of decorum than Shishido and Ootori where public displays of affection were concerned. "Why don't you come over instead of spending the time in your room? I would enjoy spending more time with you again." He smiled placidly, the twist of his lips full of hidden knives.
He knew that. He did. But he was a worrier. He didn’t want to lose someone so important to him because of something silly like emotions and crushes and romance. Atobe-sama was an important person to him. It was a weight off his shoulders to know the older boy was indeed still going to be his friend, no matter what happened.
At the suggestion, he nodded eagerly. It would be nice to spend time with Keigo...and the plus side would be getting to know Ryoma better. “Usu. I think I will. I missed you when you were gone.” He admitted. “And I am part of the cooking club, so I can always bring nice snacks for us.” For Atobe and for Echizen.
"I know you must have." Atobe leaned into his friend. "Though I wish you could have stayed home where it would have been safer for you." And though he wouldn't admit it he was also glad that Kabaji was here now, bringing a piece of his normal life back. "And I'm sure Echizen would enjoy those treats as much as I."
He just smiled more at the closeness and shyly put a friendly arm around Keigo. “Then...I will.” He just hoped Ryoma and Keigo would get along long enough to eat snacks together with him.