Thoughts and Opinions....

[galadriella1]

 Right, gang, I have embarked upon writing my own original novel, and I'm relatively happy thus far, but I need some input on a particular moment.

Yes, I have a sex scene - it's not graphic and it's suppose to be a romantic scene. Any and all input would be greatly received.

Comments

[luinel]

ceiling seems like it should be singular

"ehaled, acknowledging"?

"glass back on the side" of what?

swotted -> swatted? Apparently this is a variation in spelling? But swot=hard work/study and I'm American so had never seen swot before. lol

The very beginning conversation and Amelia's nervousness set a bit of an odd setting for this. I like your description of the room, it sounds lovely, but there seems to be a tinge of menace because i'm not sure what's going on with the other details.

I used to get really nervous about writing sex scenes but have gotten used to it. This is very understated and sweet.

[luinel]

That should be "exhaled" not ehaled. Stupid keyboard can't keep up with me.

[galadriella1]

The nervousness bit is explained a little earlier in the manuscript... to be honest, I didn't want to put up over two chapters worth of work.

I'm impressed you find a bit of menace, it's a bit of a calm before the storm moment.

As for sex, it's pain - either too blue or too formal.

Thanks... I've made a couple of changes to where I messed up (first draft - it's riddled with mistakes lol)

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