{got7; jb/bambam} the soft animal of your body (i)
Title: the soft animal of your body, part i/v
Fandom: got7
Pairing: jb/bambam (ft. jackson/mark)
Word Count: ~42,000
Rating: nc-17
Warnings: slightly dub-con due to heat, though both participants are willing participants; allusions to sexual exploitation and past domestic abuse (and nightmares about said abuse)
Summary: On the night of a snowstorm, Jaebum is on his way home from work when he finds an abandoned catboy.
A/N: we might as well bite the bullet here: YES this is catboy!au and YES this is got7 fic. YES I KNOW THEY DEBUTED LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO WHAT CAN I SAY THERE ARE JUST SO MANY WORDS.
the rating is inaccurate in that its actually mostly pg-13 but it goes up to nc-17 (again due to heat), but i amped it up just in case. sex is not underage bc ages have been adjusted upwards!! and the title is from mary oliver's lovely poem, "wild geese."
ps. ty always to writing tlist for putting up with me bc i cant watch word counts go up without whining about them. also shoutout to shi my ship soulmate, lets work hard so that everyone knows jbam is the otp to love!! ♥♥♥
the soft animal of your body
Jaebum is settling in on the couch with his laptop and his Political Theory textbook, squarely under the living room heating vent, when his cell phone rings. "Come on," he groans out loud, because it's the ringtone specifically set for his boss at work. Resigned, he puts his things aside so he can get right back up and search through the pockets of his bulky winter jacket.
"Yes - hello?" he answers hurriedly, just in time to keep the phone from going to voicemail.
"Jaebum-ah? Are you free right now?"
He gives his laptop a longing glance. His games are calling out to him, but if he's being honest with himself, his school workload isn't too heavy tonight. "Yes, sir," he says.
"Thank goodness," his boss sighs, sounding more stressed than usual. "One of the boys is down with the cold, so I need you to come in and cover his dinner shift. Can you get here in five minutes?"
"Yes, sir," he repeats, and resigns himself to working the busiest shift and trekking back home in the dark after closing. It's not too bad, he tells himself as his boss hangs up with a hurried Thank you! And hurry up!. Tips run more freely during the dinner shift, especially when big parties of family friends or local college students come in, and Jaebum is always happy when he doesn't have to squeeze out the last couple of pennies to pay the bills every month. Ever since Jinyoung moved out, Jaebum keeps meaning to find someone else to live with, but it never seems to come up in conversation.
To cover the bills and try to make paying his university tuition easier for his parents, Jaebum works several shifts at a family restaurant not far from his apartment. It's not very big, but it's cozy and perfect for escaping the bite of a typical Seoul winter before snowfall. The boss and his wife treat Jaebum and the other waiters like their sons, and sometimes towards the end of late shifts, the kitchen staff will throw some last-minute things together and everyone will come out to sit together at one of the biggest round tables and have a feast. Jaebum secretly thinks the boss pays him too much, has been over the past three years of his working there, but he never even gets a chance to complain. Instead, he just tries to give back the best way he can, working extra hard during every one of his shifts and sometimes dropping everything he has to go and cover a shift, like today. Despite how many times he's complained to Jinyoung about the chilly walk to and from home to the restaurant, Jaebum loves his job.
He slips in through the back door and one of the cooks' assistants, a tall high schooler named Yugyeom with a body that defies his youth and a smile that shines with it, tosses him his apron as he's passing by. "Thanks, kid," Jaebum calls, and Yugyeom salutes him with a grin even as Jaebum is heading out into the dining area to take orders, refill drinks, and chat with regulars; he makes sure not to forget to fill the saucers at the foot of each table with warmed milk, too. It's a busy shift, as expected from a Friday evening, and Jaebum doesn't think he stops moving even once besides a brief moment when the boss's wife puts a cup of tea into his hand and forces him to go on break.
After divvying up the tips with the other boy on waiter duty, Younghyun, and filling up with his favorite dishes on (and off) the menu, Jaebum bids everyone a cheerful goodbye and heads out into the night. Winter is never good news, with the sun going down earlier and earlier, and the miserable combination of frigid wind and persistent snow oftentimes blocks the lobby doors of Jaebum's apartment building and makes him late for class all the time. He's just glad he had the foresight to pull on a sweater underneath his winter jacket when heading out.
The streetlights are the only reassuring glow in the night as Jaebum half-walks, half-jogs the few blocks back home, deciding to cut through the park in his neighborhood. Seoul, he thinks longingly to himself, is the best during the springtime, when all of the trees no longer raise barren branches up towards the sky but rather exude the vibrant green of a good weather day. The snow from last night has been shoveled off of the sidewalks and paths meandering through the park, but with the weather forecasts going on and on about the biggest snowstorm of the season to hit that night, Jaebum's pretty sure he isn't going to come back out until the weekend is over. He remembers times like this in the past, when Jaebum and Jinyoung would sprint out to the supermarkets to stock up on junk food to snack on, and then hole up in their little apartment for the entire weekend with their computers. When their eyes needed a break, they'd haul out board games and play hard, along with the occasional alcohol breaks that always seemed to deteriorate into their stupid two-man beer pong matches, a leftover tradition from freshman year.
This time, however, Jinyoung is living practically on the other side of town. Jaebum had gotten so used to living with his best friend that he had assumed they'd sign their lease together again when it was due to expire, but Jinyoung sat him down on their living room couch and told him seriously - for once - that he had decided to take on the best possible internship he had received an offer for, and that meant that either he would need to move to another district or commute through dreadful traffic every morning. Laid out like that, the choice was simple, especially when Jinyoung had a friend named Youngjae offering him a place to stay in the area. "You better come visit me," Jaebum had grumbled when Jinyoung finished spilling out the news, his best friend's eyes wide and anxious as if he expected Jaebum to stop him. "And just because you're living with Choi Youngjae doesn't mean that you can walk back in here a snarky little shit."
"I'll leave that role up to him, hyung," Jinyoung had said cheerfully, and gotten up to curl Jaebum towards him in one of those bro-hug plus normal hug combinations he favored. Jaebum had laid his head on Jinyoung's shoulder, closing his eyes, and wondered just where the hell he would be able to find someone to help him cover rent. It's been a couple months, now, and he's still wondering that. The boss at the restaurant might pay him nicely, but not nicely enough to cover a two-person apartment with a single paycheck, and Jaebum doesn't really have the time to take on another job with his university classes at the moment. If he can't figure something out soon, he'll have to go back home to bum on his parents, and he hates doing that to them. Hates not being able to be the best son and employee and student he possibly can.
He'll just have to take a couple more shifts and sleep a couple hours less, Jaebum finally concedes. He makes it through the park and picks up the pace for the last block until his apartment, which he can see rising in the dim lighting behind a bus stop. People rarely ride the buses this late - they might not even be running anymore at this hour - but Jaebum can see a huddled shape in the bus stop and feels sorry for whoever it is. With the storm rolling in, a bus stop is hardly adequate protection for the night.
It isn't until he's ten or so steps away from the bus stop when he realizes with a start just who the little shape is, and lets his pace slow as he gets closer and closer. The clear plastic wall of the bus stop structure warps his sight a bit, but Jaebum squints and makes out the curve of an ear, two ears, pressed down along the skull. Holy shit. He's never seen one in person before, especially this close; he almost convinced himself that they only existed on television broadcasts about celebrities or the photographs on news articles online. The milk saucers at work, the treat options on the menu - they're routines so rarely needed that he never really thought about it, just agreed when his boss's wife told him that they were a necessary courtesy.
Jaebum pauses, hesitating, and then rounds the corner of the bus stop and peers in without invading the creature's - the catboy's - space to the best of his abilities. "Um," he says, completely lost as to how he should greet it. Er, rather, him, the catboy is definitely a boy. "Hi."
It - He - cowers against the back of the bus stop, not running away like Jaebum expected him to. He's seriously really tiny, almost lost in the fabric of a sweater too delicate to be of any use against the winter weather, and looks terrified out of his mind. Jaebum can tell he's attractive, definitely cute, and his (uselessly thin) clothes are rather stylish; there's a streak of dyed pink in his bangs, which are otherwise pitch black and match the color of - of his ears. Cat ears, covered with glossy black fur and swiveling forward at Jaebum whenever Jaebum shifts towards or away from him even the slightest bit, no doubt picking up on the littlest things like his jacket rustling or Jaebum's slightly accelerated heartbeat. The catboy is shivering madly, scrunched impossibly tightly against the corner as if he can lose himself in the plastic and escape the brunt of the storm coming at him tonight. A slip of a black tail is visible behind him, the tip of it flicking every so often. He's not wearing a collar. His nose is running.
The catboy never answered, but Jaebum finds his chest tightening at the idea of leaving this fragile boy - catboy or not, he's definitely mostly boy; Jaebum didn't really expect them to look so human - out in the cold all night. With how miserable and vulnerable this catboy looks, it'd be a wonder if anyone could bear leaving him here in the first place. "Hey," he says gently, and the catboy's eyes snap back up to his face, filled with terror. "I'm not going to hurt you, I swear. Can you understand me?"
Silence follows Jaebum's question, stretching so long Jaebum doesn't expect an answer and is in the middle of switching tactics, trying to find some other way to letting this helpless creature know he wants to help, until the catboy nods once, jerkily, like it's unfamiliar to him.
"That's great!" Jaebum says in relief, careful to keep his voice quiet and low. He's never been much of an animal person, especially with cats, so he's just going in blind now. "Hi again. I'm Jaebum, it's nice to meet you, uh. Is it okay if I come closer?"
The second nod comes a little more quickly, and Jaebum thinks that the catboy's lips move, mouthing his name as if tasting it silently, maybe even marveling over it.
Jaebum scoots forward slowly. "Yeah, Jaebum, that's me. I don't want to hurt you, I promise, but I want - would you like to come to my place for the night? I'm not sure whether you know or not, but there's going to be a massive snowstorm tonight, and I was thinking you'd rather be inside rather than out here in a bus stop. It's really cold in here right now, and it's only gonna get colder. Is that okay?"
The catboy stares at him, this time in amazement, comprehension and wonder filling his large brown eyes. He doesn't hiss or slap Jaebum's hand away when Jaebum carefully reaches out, seeking to give comfort through the only way he knows how, but when Jaebum's warmer fingers meet the icy cold of his jaw, the catboy flinches, ducking his head. (When Jaebum realizes he wants to touch the silky fur of the catboy's ears, he hurriedly snatches his hand back, trying to be respectful. And respect does not include touching the cat aspects of a stranger catboy, that he knows for sure.)
Finally, finally, the catboy nods one last time, and Jaebum knows that he's chosen between a helpful - or seemingly helpful, anyways - stranger or guaranteed frostbite of all his extremities. Still, it feels good to be trusted, even just a bit.
Jaebum holds his hand back out, in invitation this time. When the catboy carefully puts his own thin-fingered hand in Jaebum's, Jaebum gently pulls him up from the bench and impulsively takes off his jacket to wrap around the catboy's skinny body, zipping it up for him and showing him where the pockets are; he refuses to have the hood pulled up, probably because it'll smother his ears. Jaebum's winter jacket endeavors to swallow the catboy up, and now Jaebum is freezing cold, but at least the lingering warmth of Jaebum's body and the thick layers will help much more than the thin, pretty sweater.
He leads the way home, and the catboy follows at a scurry, sticking close to Jaebum but never making contact. It's later than ever now, the threatening storm is so close Jaebum can feel it in the air, and he picks up the pace so they can enter his apartment building sooner. The lobby is delightfully heated and darkened except for one single light, and Jaebum scrutinizes his new companion as they wait for the elevator to come down. "You okay?" he asks.
Another head bob. The catboy seems more relaxed, now that he's warm and safe, and he's seems to be pulling Jaebum's jacket closer around his body without even realizing it. Jaebum thinks ahead, hoping Jinyoung's old room is presentable enough to use as a guest room and his best friend hasn't left some weird shit under his bed. There should be extra blankets on some storage closet and his heating bill won't shoot up too high if he turns up the heat for a while. There's going to be a snowstorm of epic proportions, surely he can warrant this.
When the elevator pings to announce its arrival, the catboy startles and Jaebum instinctively reaches out to steady him before yanking his hand back, shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. They enter and Jaebum stretches a little awkwardly past the catboy, who skitters back to press against the far wall and looks immensely apologetic, to press the number 3 for his floor. The building isn't the newest, so the elevator rattles slightly as they move upwards and Jaebum feels kind of self-conscious. It's obvious from the catboy's appearance that he's used to a lavish style of living - Jaebum thinks that the sneakers he's wearing alone are probably worth three or four months of his paycheck at the family restaurant, if he lived in a perfect world with no bills to pay - and Jaebum is only a university student trying to make it through each month the best he can. But he's also human, and people don't treat him like an object for their entertainment, and other people automatically believe in his intelligence and assume he understands and reads, so Jaebum berates himself for being bitter about his own financial situation and gestures at the catboy to follow him once the elevator reaches his floor.
Only the elite own catboys, anyways. They're commonplace at movie premieres, equally dolled up as the celebrities and poised beside their owners in red carpet pictures, but not so much in Jaebum's world. The family restaurant rarely serves customers of that side of city, the alterations to accommodate catboys out of automatic obligation more than anything; people wealthy enough to afford a catboy would never need to live in Jaebum's apartment building. He goes to a decent university, but not one where students can splurge on such luxury among the costs of tuition and rent and utilities. There's a lot of disconnect between what you see in the media and what you see when a catboy is standing before you, Jaebum thinks - he didn't really expect them to look so human. So normal. If he ignores the ears and tail, the catboy would just be any other teenage boy he passes on the streets.
Moving on autopilot, Jaebum unlocks his apartment door and steps back to let the catboy enter first. The catboy stares at him, uncomprehending, until Jaebum gestures for him to go and he startles into movement. Jaebum closes the door behind him once the catboy is inside and toes his shoes off, leaving them haphazardly by the front door as he goes down the hall to check Jinyoung's room. Returning home after a long shift is always a relief; Jaebum can feel himself relaxing and unwinding in the warmth already. "Make yourself at home," he calls over his shoulder. "Feel free to sit anywhere there's room."
Jinyoung's room is empty enough, if not a little dusty, and Jaebum picks up the old Administrative Law binders from the desk on the way out; Jinyoung must have left them there and forgotten to throw them away when he was moving. Everything else is gone, though, and Jaebum pauses for a moment, staring at the walls that now look overly white and impersonal without the loud posters of Jinyoung's favorite bands and the corkboard where Jinyoung pinned up pictures of the two of them and old fliers from events they went to together - three years worth of memories amassed one by one. Jaebum hasn't seen the corkboard collage in a while, still hasn't gone to visit Jinyoung at Youngjae's place yet.
When Jaebum walks back out into the living room, he finds the catboy standing by the doorway where Jaebum left him. "Oh, hey, you can sit down, you know," Jaebum says, softening his voice, and notices that the catboy has taken off his shoes and lined them up neatly besides Jaebum's.
The catboy glances at him, and then at the couch worriedly, his face spelling out Are you sure? as clear as daylight.
"Yeah, sure, it's not going to eat you." Jaebum crosses the room himself and moves his laptop and books out of the way, sitting down and patting the couch seat beside him in invitation. The catboy is so skittish, like a pet afraid to make a mistake and get scolded. It takes a little more coaxing, but there's gratification at the end when the catboy tentatively inches across the room and takes a careful seat on the other end of the couch, curled up in the corner formed by the arm and back of the couch, just like he was at the bus stop. Jaebum just wishes he could get rid of the fear in the catboy's eyes, like he's expecting Jaebum to snap at him.
They sit in a silence for a while, Jaebum closing his eyes and taking a moment to recharge after such a turn of events. He's really not too sure what to do, but he decides to approach things like he would with any other guest, human or not, and try to make sure the catboy is comfortable so they can settle in for the night. "Are you hungry?" he asks, and the catboy shakes his head, ears drooping. "Thirsty?" Another head shake. But when Jaebum tries, "What about sleepy?" the catboy hesitates, looks at him with those anxious eyes, and dips his chin in a nod.
He gives the catboy an encouraging smile and stands, gesturing for the catboy to follow him; the quiet pad of the catboy's footsteps trails after Jaebum as he makes his way down the hall, flicking on the hallway light and apologizing when the catboy jumps at the sudden illumination. "This is the guest room," he says, pushing open the door. "It belonged to my old roommate so there might still be a few of his things lying around, but I don't think they'll get in your way. There are more blankets on the bed and in that closet, too, in case you get cold tonight. Tell me if you need anything else. Okay?"
The catboy nods again, more vigorously. Jaebum notices his nose is twitching as he takes in the new scents of Jinyoung's old room, and his ears are up now with his interest. He looks adorable, if Jaebum is honest with himself, and Jaebum isn't really the type to think of things as cute.
"Good," Jaebum says, and steps back out of the room. He pauses in closing the door to watch the catboy approach the bed, reaching out slowly to touch the soft fabric of his blankets, and can't help but add a soft "Sleep well" before he shuts the door with a quiet click and withdraws to his own room.
☼
When Jaebum wakes up the next morning, gloriously late in celebration of the weekend, it's so bright in his room that he wonders whether or not he slept straight the morning and into the afternoon. He blinks his eyes open and realizes he forgot to close the blinds of his window last night, and the sunlight reflecting off of such a massive amount of snow lights up Jaebum's room better than any light bulbs could. As far as the eye can see (or at least as far as Jaebum's eye can see from where he is, since he has yet to bother with sitting up), it's just whiteness, so bright his eyes hurt.
He's had so many snow days begin like this that Jaebum can practically hear Jinyoung bouncing down the hallway and throwing open Jaebum's door, yelling something about "motherfuckin' snow day pancakes," another long-time tradition of their friendship. This is the first snow day he's spent without Jinyoung - he didn't even buy pancake ingredients this time.
Eventually, he persuades himself to get out of bed, not even bothering with changing out of his pajamas, and yawns as he wanders down the hallway to the kitchen. On his way past Jinyoung's room - the guest room, he reminds himself, Jinyoung is long gone now - he pauses and then opens the door as quietly as possible to peek in.
The first thing he sees is how the catboy has pulled in the blankets around him to create a circular-shaped nest of sorts, with the pillows piled in the middle, under and around his skinny body. Jaebum notices the catboy is awake when his ears perk up, the black fur almost brown in the sunlight because Jaebum forgot to close those blinds, too. The catboy's pupils have constricted to black dots, and he squints up at Jaebum, looking bemused and a little disheveled from sleep.
"Good morning," Jaebum says, leaning against the door frame. "It's probably afternoon already, actually, but do you want some breakfast?"
The catboy sits up in one sinuous movement and Jaebum vaguely wishes he could be that graceful in the mornings, instead of tripping on the edge of his rug and stubbing his toe on his bed frame when his eyes have yet to fully open. He blinks at Jaebum and nods, his tail waving behind him.
Jaebum tries not to stare, and instead says, "Cool, sounds good. I'll find you some proper clothes to wear, since your old ones are probably wet from the snow, and we can have breakfast together, okay?"
When the catboy nods again, crawling out of his blanket nest, Jaebum ducks out of the room to grab some of his sweats from high school, hoping they're small enough to fit the catboy's tiny frame. He doesn't waste time in giving them to the catboy and backing out of the room again, giving him the privacy to change as he heads into the small kitchen unit to start breakfast. To be honest, Jaebum had only bought enough food to last one person for the weekend, but they should be able to get by with what he has in his fridge. "Do you want eggs?" he calls as he cracks two into a pan for himself.
"No," says a shy voice from behind him, and Jaebum jumps, almost dropping the rest of his eggs. He puts them back into the fridge and turns, shocked to see the catboy has already finished changing and silently entered the kitchen, standing by the dining table in Jaebum's old sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt he'd gotten for free at a school event in his freshman year. He looks even goddamn cuter today, the sleeves so long they hang over his fingertips, and his hair is tousled so that the pink strands are scattered and a little tangled with the black. (Jaebum reminds himself to find a hairbrush for him when they're done eating.)
"Oh, okay," he says, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice. This is the first time he's actually heard the catboy's voice - he sounds so young and vulnerable, it kind of makes Jaebum want to protect him automatically. Too bad the catboy isn't his to protect. "How about ham?"
The catboy nods, back to timid silence now that Jaebum is looking at him and he doesn't need to speak up. He's fiddling with the edge of his shirt, and has yet to lose the bewildered look in his eyes. Jaebum's clothes must smell and feel strange to him, because he keeps shifting and scrunching up his nose as he takes in the scents around him.
"Sit down and I'll be done in a second," Jaebum says gently, and turns back to the stove to save his eggs without checking whether or not the catboy has obeyed. He usually throws in some pieces of ham when they're almost done, so this time he takes out extra and puts it in the microwave for the catboy. On the way past the cupboards, he snags an extra mug, too, so the catboy can have some milk as well.
Breakfast is ready soon enough; Jaebum isn't the best cook, only knows enough to keep himself going so he doesn't blow too much money eating out every day, the way he and Jinyoung did during their first year in college. When he sets the ham and milk before the catboy, who is sitting with his hands in his lap, he feels a little self-conscious at such a simple excuse for a meal. "Do you want cereal?" he asks. Cereal he can do. They have plenty of cereal.
The catboy shakes his head, surprising Jaebum when he adds on a quiet, "No, thank you."
"Are you sure this is enough?" Jaebum has to check. "You must be hungry."
He gets another head shake, and Jaebum watches for a moment as the catboy hesitantly picks up the fork Jaebum gave him and starts nibbling at his ham. Trying not to stare, Jaebum tucks into his attempt at an omelette until the coffee maker beeps cheerfully and he goes to retrieve a cup of coffee with liberal amounts of sugar and cream. He isn't really big on awkward silences, and can't resist making more conversation when he sits back down with his coffee. "I actually don't like coffee too much," he confesses, and the catboy glances up from his food to look at Jaebum. "My best friend is a coffee addict, though, so he forced me into buying the coffee maker with him."
It's easy to talk about Jinyoung, and after that, his other friends and his schoolwork and the family restaurant he was on the way back from when he met the catboy. "What's your name, by the way?" Jaebum asks as he's finishing up his omelette, wishing he'd bought more cheese. "It feels a little weird to keep calling you 'the catboy' in my head."
That gets a giggle out of the catboy, and Jaebum is disproportionately proud of it. "I-I'm… My name is Bambam," the catboy says eventually, still shy, still timid.
"Nice to meet you, Bambam," Jaebum tells him, and gives him another glass of milk before getting to washing the dishes.
When he's done, they migrate to the living room, where Jaebum persuades Bambam to sit as he goes to grab them some blankets to wrap themselves up in. In spirit of the snowed in weekend, he returns to the kitchen to dig through the cupboards until he finds the instant hot chocolate powder and actual marshmallows, since the ones that come with the powder melt too fast every time. Bambam has swaddled himself up in one of Jaebum's thicker quilts, his head poking out, but he manages to untangle his hands to accept the warm mug of hot chocolate Jaebum offers to him.
The afternoon passes by uneventfully, the atmosphere of being comfortable and warm when it's so awfully cold outside settling over them. Jaebum works through his homework slowly and naps if he feels like it, his reading getting too boring to bear. He put the television on for Bambam to watch, flipping through the channels of sitcoms and reality shows before settling on a nature channel playing a documentary about the ocean; Bambam watches it willingly enough, having had refused the remote when Jaebum offered it to him, but Jaebum notices him alternating between watching the ocean documentary and watching him typing away on his laptop. He doesn't say anything, though, happy that Bambam doesn't look so scared anymore.
Around dinnertime, Jaebum closes his laptop and gets to his feet, stretching the kinks out of his back from sitting around so long, and Bambam straightens up in response, ever sensitive. "How does some food sound, Bambam?" Jaebum asks, turning off the television.
Bambam seems willing enough, and Jaebum happily makes ramyun, because no one can ever go wrong with ramyun. It's nothing gourmet, and Jaebum has hardly forgotten how fancy all of Bambam's clothes - which have been added to Jaebum's laundry, ready to go for tomorrow - were. But he believes there's a special delight in eating ramyun out of the pot, and Bambam seems to like it just as much.
"How about a game?" Jaebum offers when they're done eating. "I've read enough about government policies to last me for the rest of my life."
Bambam's ears cock forward at the word 'game,' which Jaebum takes as a good sign. "What do you have?" he asks, timid but trying. Jaebum wonders mutinously whether all catboys are this small and cute and endearing, because Bambam seems to excel at being that with no conscious effort at all.
Jaebum takes out his collection of board games from the closet in his room, spreading them out across the ground before Bambam's interested eyes. It's something he and Jinyoung have been building up forever, and snowed in weekends are the perfect time for a tournament of board games and card games and video games, just like they were kids without adult responsibilities all over again. Eventually, they settle on Jenga, because Bambam has never seen it before and Jaebum can tell he's definitely interested now.
After a couple rounds, the wooden blocks spilling all over the floor of Jaebum's bedroom so that he and Bambam have to fish under his bed to find them all, Jaebum is wishing he hadn't chosen this game. It seems to be his turn every time the tower falls, even though Bambam is only a first time player, and Jaebum has to admit his ego is bruised - he used to pummel Jinyoung and his impatience every time they played this game. But with the way Bambam's eyes light up with delight when he wins, Jaebum isn't too upset about it.
They stop playing when Bambam yawns three times in succession and looks up at Jaebum apologetically when he realizes Jaebum noticed. It seems he succumbs just as easily to the world of snowed in weekends as everyone else, sleepy even though they hardly did anything all day besides sit around and eat and play games. "Let's sleep," Jaebum suggests, resisting the urge to pet Bambam on the head when he looks at Jaebum like that. He never did get him a hairbrush.
"Okay," Bambam says cheerfully. Jaebum lets him go to his room on his own, waving away his attempts to help clean up the blocks from their last round, which had finally ended in Jaebum's victory.
They sleep in again on the next day. After a simple breakfast, they play their way through whatever Bambam seems to like among the rest of Jaebum's board game collection, before moving on to the repertoire of card games Jaebum can manage to remember from his childhood. All of them are new and unfamiliar to Bambam, but he's clever and learns quickly, holding his own against Jaebum. He's also more open today, laughing more often, and doesn't flinch away when Jaebum touches his arm without thinking during a game.
As they're putting away Jaebum's only deck of cards (which, ironically, were a gag gift from a restaurant staff party when Younghyun gave him cards patterned with frolicking puppies), Jaebum's cell phone pings with the tone he's set for Jinyoung. "Bambam, can you get me that?" Jaebum asks, struggling to fit the pack of cards back into their box. He knows Jinyoung will whine if Jaebum ignores his texts; they'd texted on and off the day before, but Jinyoung had been busy finishing his internship work to open up Sunday as a free day.
Bambam nods and jumps to his feet, crossing the room to retrieve Jaebum's phone off his bedside dresser. He hands it to Jaebum, beaming at Jaebum's thanks, and sits back down beside him - he's been sitting a bit closer and closer to Jaebum all day, too, close enough Jaebum can feel the warmth of his body.
It's a new text: YOUNGJAE WONT EAT PANCAKES FOR DINNER WITH ME I NEED YOU TO COME GET ME AND TAKE ME TO MY PROPER HOME
Jaebum rolls his eyes, holds his phone out for Bambam to see when he notices the catboy peeking at the screen curiously. have u even looked outside this wknd, he texts back. besides ur the one w/the car, not me
IDC HYUNG COME NOW :( :( :(, Jinyoung sends back instantly.
Jaebum replies, it's impossible sry man and turns to Bambam. "Speaking of dinner, you hungry?"
Bambam smiles brightly at him and nods yes. Even though he's spoken more in the past two days, he's still reticent, but Jaebum doesn't mind. Truth be told, he hasn't felt lonely all weekend since Jinyoung moved out - and he knows that feeling well, coming home after long shifts or difficult classes and expecting Jinyoung's loud presence to greet him only to be met with a heavy silence. Bambam isn't one for noise, but he's always close by and always happy to laze around or play with Jaebum. Jaebum knows he should be feeling a little guilty, at least, but Jinyoung has Youngjae, right? He'll be fine, even if Youngjae wrestles him into eating something else for dinner.
Jaebum and Bambam eat something nicer than usual, which for Jaebum means something that didn't come out of a jar or box. It probably doesn't taste amazing, but Bambam eats eagerly, which is good to see. He's so skinny Jaebum could easily curl his fingers around his wrist and maybe have some overlap, so delicate Jaebum could snap it if he wasn't careful. But he is, constantly aware of Bambam's every movement. He can't remember ever feeling this protective over another person's well being and happiness before and he's only known Bambam for a day.
After dinner, they settle down on the couch again for a movie. Jinyoung took most of their DVDs when he moved out, but Jaebum kept some of his favorites and now he lets Bambam pick one. It's a funny one, Jaebum's seen it several times. "Good choice," he tells Bambam.
Bambam's answering smile is radiant. When they sit down on the couch, the catboy sits right beside Jaebum, so their thighs touch, and Jaebum watches as Bambam tucks his tail absently up against his leg. "Can I touch it?" he blurts.
"What?" Bambam says, startled.
"Your tail," Jaebum says, because he's already said it, he might as well go through with it. And it's true that Jaebum does want to touch it, see if Bambam's fur is as silky as it looks.
"Oh," Bambam says, ducking his head and maybe even blushing a little. "Okay."
"Okay?" Jaebum echos incredulously. He hadn't expected Bambam to say yes.
Bambam nods and his tail twitches in the space between their hands, laid over Bambam's thigh. Fascinated, Jaebum reaches out tentatively, stroking slowly down the length of it as if moving too quickly will scare Bambam off, and the catboy shivers at the touch. It's softer than Jaebum expected, curling around his hand with the tip resting lightly on his wrist.
After a long moment, ignorant of the movie's opening credits playing on the television, Jaebum pulls his hand back. "Thank you," he says, suddenly formal.
Bambam nods, his cheeks flushed - with embarrassment, maybe. He doesn't shift away from Jaebum when they turn to watch the movie properly, which Jaebum takes as a good sign. They watch the movie mostly in silence after that, Jaebum laughing at the punch lines and Bambam echoing him, though Jaebum thinks Bambam is probably laughing at him instead of the movie.
They watch as the main character struggles against obstacles and eventually finds his happy ending, and soft, sweet music plays in the background as the end credits begin to roll. Jaebum doesn't get up - there's a warmth on his shoulder, against his side, where Bambam accidentally dozed off against him. He turns to look at the catboy's peaceful face, and kind of wishes he could reach up and stroke the curve of Bambam's cheek, brush his bangs out of his eyes and touch his cat ears, maybe watch the flush bloom across his cheekbones again. One touch, and he's made this insatiable. In the end, Bambam wouldn't like it if some stranger tried to pet him, and that's what Jaebum is, really. A stranger.
For all it's worth, Jaebum's just been treating Bambam like another boy - as much as he possibly can, anyways, with the constant reminder in Bambam's ears and tail, but even those things aren't as visually shocking anymore. He knows next to nothing about catboys, and he's worried that he'll do something wrong and hurt Bambam accidentally from his ignorance. He might not have thought things through properly when he approached Bambam at the bus stop, but if he's going to do this and house Bambam, he better do it right. There's no way of telling how long Bambam will be staying with him, or whether someone's out there looking for Bambam even though he was, in all appearances, abandoned, but Jaebum knows better than to get attached to someone who has to go in the end. He just wants to make sure Bambam is okay now, first.
Jaebum racks his mind. All he has to go off of at this point is the vague memory of a conversation he had with Jinyoung months ago, about his classmate and friend Jackson. He'd only met Jackson once, at a party during his undergraduate years, but knew of him because Jackson had shared a class with Jinyoung the year before. yo, he texts Jinyoung. your friend jackson has a catboy right?
It takes a couple minutes for Jinyoung to reply. Jaebum times them by Bambam's soft breaths, the rise and fall of his slender chest. yeah why, Jinyoung replies, nine breaths later.
do u have his number i need to ask him something, Jaebum sends back.
Jinyoung sends him a phone number and adds, why do you need to ask him sth about catboys???
i uh happened to pick one up this weekend i guess, Jaebum starts to type, then hesitates and deletes it all, sending i'll tell u later instead. It's not right to keep secrets from your best friend, Jaebum knows, and it's especially nightmarish when he has to keep things from Jinyoung; once Jinyoung catches wind of something, he won't let it go until he drags it out of Jaebum. But Jaebum wants to hold onto this, keep it for himself, just a little longer. He's not quite ready to share Bambam yet.
Instead of replying to Jinyoung's ?????? TELL ME texts, Jaebum sends Jackson a message instead: hi this is jaebum, i'm jinyoung's friend. can i ask for some advice about catboys?
When Jackson doesn't reply immediately, Jaebum pockets his phone and very gently dislodges Bambam from his side. Bambam grumbles softly in his sleep, burrowing his face against Jaebum's sweater, as Jaebum picks him up and carries him down the hall, nudging the door of the guest room open with a foot. The nest is mostly intact, and Jaebum settles Bambam in the middle of it. Once the warmth of Jaebum's body moves away, Bambam whines needily, and the impulse to pet him rises in Jaebum again. "Sorry," Jaebum whispers instead. "Good night, Bambam."
He backs out of the room and checks his phone on the way back to his own bedroom. Jackson has replied yea hey jaebum what is it.
When he sends Jackson a quick summary of what happened on Friday night, asking for help in caring for Bambam, Jackson replies instantly now. itd take a long time to explain via text, he says. if youre free you can come to my place and i can show you what i do with mark
mark?, Jaebum texts back.
mark is my catboy, youll get to meet him 2moro
Jaebum replies, thanking Jackson a million times over and getting his address. He doesn't live too far from the university, which is convenient. Jaebum should be able to head over before his evening shift at the restaurant.
part two
Fandom: got7
Pairing: jb/bambam (ft. jackson/mark)
Word Count: ~42,000
Rating: nc-17
Warnings: slightly dub-con due to heat, though both participants are willing participants; allusions to sexual exploitation and past domestic abuse (and nightmares about said abuse)
Summary: On the night of a snowstorm, Jaebum is on his way home from work when he finds an abandoned catboy.
A/N: we might as well bite the bullet here: YES this is catboy!au and YES this is got7 fic. YES I KNOW THEY DEBUTED LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO WHAT CAN I SAY THERE ARE JUST SO MANY WORDS.
the rating is inaccurate in that its actually mostly pg-13 but it goes up to nc-17 (again due to heat), but i amped it up just in case. sex is not underage bc ages have been adjusted upwards!! and the title is from mary oliver's lovely poem, "wild geese."
ps. ty always to writing tlist for putting up with me bc i cant watch word counts go up without whining about them. also shoutout to shi my ship soulmate, lets work hard so that everyone knows jbam is the otp to love!! ♥♥♥
the soft animal of your body
Jaebum is settling in on the couch with his laptop and his Political Theory textbook, squarely under the living room heating vent, when his cell phone rings. "Come on," he groans out loud, because it's the ringtone specifically set for his boss at work. Resigned, he puts his things aside so he can get right back up and search through the pockets of his bulky winter jacket.
"Yes - hello?" he answers hurriedly, just in time to keep the phone from going to voicemail.
"Jaebum-ah? Are you free right now?"
He gives his laptop a longing glance. His games are calling out to him, but if he's being honest with himself, his school workload isn't too heavy tonight. "Yes, sir," he says.
"Thank goodness," his boss sighs, sounding more stressed than usual. "One of the boys is down with the cold, so I need you to come in and cover his dinner shift. Can you get here in five minutes?"
"Yes, sir," he repeats, and resigns himself to working the busiest shift and trekking back home in the dark after closing. It's not too bad, he tells himself as his boss hangs up with a hurried Thank you! And hurry up!. Tips run more freely during the dinner shift, especially when big parties of family friends or local college students come in, and Jaebum is always happy when he doesn't have to squeeze out the last couple of pennies to pay the bills every month. Ever since Jinyoung moved out, Jaebum keeps meaning to find someone else to live with, but it never seems to come up in conversation.
To cover the bills and try to make paying his university tuition easier for his parents, Jaebum works several shifts at a family restaurant not far from his apartment. It's not very big, but it's cozy and perfect for escaping the bite of a typical Seoul winter before snowfall. The boss and his wife treat Jaebum and the other waiters like their sons, and sometimes towards the end of late shifts, the kitchen staff will throw some last-minute things together and everyone will come out to sit together at one of the biggest round tables and have a feast. Jaebum secretly thinks the boss pays him too much, has been over the past three years of his working there, but he never even gets a chance to complain. Instead, he just tries to give back the best way he can, working extra hard during every one of his shifts and sometimes dropping everything he has to go and cover a shift, like today. Despite how many times he's complained to Jinyoung about the chilly walk to and from home to the restaurant, Jaebum loves his job.
He slips in through the back door and one of the cooks' assistants, a tall high schooler named Yugyeom with a body that defies his youth and a smile that shines with it, tosses him his apron as he's passing by. "Thanks, kid," Jaebum calls, and Yugyeom salutes him with a grin even as Jaebum is heading out into the dining area to take orders, refill drinks, and chat with regulars; he makes sure not to forget to fill the saucers at the foot of each table with warmed milk, too. It's a busy shift, as expected from a Friday evening, and Jaebum doesn't think he stops moving even once besides a brief moment when the boss's wife puts a cup of tea into his hand and forces him to go on break.
After divvying up the tips with the other boy on waiter duty, Younghyun, and filling up with his favorite dishes on (and off) the menu, Jaebum bids everyone a cheerful goodbye and heads out into the night. Winter is never good news, with the sun going down earlier and earlier, and the miserable combination of frigid wind and persistent snow oftentimes blocks the lobby doors of Jaebum's apartment building and makes him late for class all the time. He's just glad he had the foresight to pull on a sweater underneath his winter jacket when heading out.
The streetlights are the only reassuring glow in the night as Jaebum half-walks, half-jogs the few blocks back home, deciding to cut through the park in his neighborhood. Seoul, he thinks longingly to himself, is the best during the springtime, when all of the trees no longer raise barren branches up towards the sky but rather exude the vibrant green of a good weather day. The snow from last night has been shoveled off of the sidewalks and paths meandering through the park, but with the weather forecasts going on and on about the biggest snowstorm of the season to hit that night, Jaebum's pretty sure he isn't going to come back out until the weekend is over. He remembers times like this in the past, when Jaebum and Jinyoung would sprint out to the supermarkets to stock up on junk food to snack on, and then hole up in their little apartment for the entire weekend with their computers. When their eyes needed a break, they'd haul out board games and play hard, along with the occasional alcohol breaks that always seemed to deteriorate into their stupid two-man beer pong matches, a leftover tradition from freshman year.
This time, however, Jinyoung is living practically on the other side of town. Jaebum had gotten so used to living with his best friend that he had assumed they'd sign their lease together again when it was due to expire, but Jinyoung sat him down on their living room couch and told him seriously - for once - that he had decided to take on the best possible internship he had received an offer for, and that meant that either he would need to move to another district or commute through dreadful traffic every morning. Laid out like that, the choice was simple, especially when Jinyoung had a friend named Youngjae offering him a place to stay in the area. "You better come visit me," Jaebum had grumbled when Jinyoung finished spilling out the news, his best friend's eyes wide and anxious as if he expected Jaebum to stop him. "And just because you're living with Choi Youngjae doesn't mean that you can walk back in here a snarky little shit."
"I'll leave that role up to him, hyung," Jinyoung had said cheerfully, and gotten up to curl Jaebum towards him in one of those bro-hug plus normal hug combinations he favored. Jaebum had laid his head on Jinyoung's shoulder, closing his eyes, and wondered just where the hell he would be able to find someone to help him cover rent. It's been a couple months, now, and he's still wondering that. The boss at the restaurant might pay him nicely, but not nicely enough to cover a two-person apartment with a single paycheck, and Jaebum doesn't really have the time to take on another job with his university classes at the moment. If he can't figure something out soon, he'll have to go back home to bum on his parents, and he hates doing that to them. Hates not being able to be the best son and employee and student he possibly can.
He'll just have to take a couple more shifts and sleep a couple hours less, Jaebum finally concedes. He makes it through the park and picks up the pace for the last block until his apartment, which he can see rising in the dim lighting behind a bus stop. People rarely ride the buses this late - they might not even be running anymore at this hour - but Jaebum can see a huddled shape in the bus stop and feels sorry for whoever it is. With the storm rolling in, a bus stop is hardly adequate protection for the night.
It isn't until he's ten or so steps away from the bus stop when he realizes with a start just who the little shape is, and lets his pace slow as he gets closer and closer. The clear plastic wall of the bus stop structure warps his sight a bit, but Jaebum squints and makes out the curve of an ear, two ears, pressed down along the skull. Holy shit. He's never seen one in person before, especially this close; he almost convinced himself that they only existed on television broadcasts about celebrities or the photographs on news articles online. The milk saucers at work, the treat options on the menu - they're routines so rarely needed that he never really thought about it, just agreed when his boss's wife told him that they were a necessary courtesy.
Jaebum pauses, hesitating, and then rounds the corner of the bus stop and peers in without invading the creature's - the catboy's - space to the best of his abilities. "Um," he says, completely lost as to how he should greet it. Er, rather, him, the catboy is definitely a boy. "Hi."
It - He - cowers against the back of the bus stop, not running away like Jaebum expected him to. He's seriously really tiny, almost lost in the fabric of a sweater too delicate to be of any use against the winter weather, and looks terrified out of his mind. Jaebum can tell he's attractive, definitely cute, and his (uselessly thin) clothes are rather stylish; there's a streak of dyed pink in his bangs, which are otherwise pitch black and match the color of - of his ears. Cat ears, covered with glossy black fur and swiveling forward at Jaebum whenever Jaebum shifts towards or away from him even the slightest bit, no doubt picking up on the littlest things like his jacket rustling or Jaebum's slightly accelerated heartbeat. The catboy is shivering madly, scrunched impossibly tightly against the corner as if he can lose himself in the plastic and escape the brunt of the storm coming at him tonight. A slip of a black tail is visible behind him, the tip of it flicking every so often. He's not wearing a collar. His nose is running.
The catboy never answered, but Jaebum finds his chest tightening at the idea of leaving this fragile boy - catboy or not, he's definitely mostly boy; Jaebum didn't really expect them to look so human - out in the cold all night. With how miserable and vulnerable this catboy looks, it'd be a wonder if anyone could bear leaving him here in the first place. "Hey," he says gently, and the catboy's eyes snap back up to his face, filled with terror. "I'm not going to hurt you, I swear. Can you understand me?"
Silence follows Jaebum's question, stretching so long Jaebum doesn't expect an answer and is in the middle of switching tactics, trying to find some other way to letting this helpless creature know he wants to help, until the catboy nods once, jerkily, like it's unfamiliar to him.
"That's great!" Jaebum says in relief, careful to keep his voice quiet and low. He's never been much of an animal person, especially with cats, so he's just going in blind now. "Hi again. I'm Jaebum, it's nice to meet you, uh. Is it okay if I come closer?"
The second nod comes a little more quickly, and Jaebum thinks that the catboy's lips move, mouthing his name as if tasting it silently, maybe even marveling over it.
Jaebum scoots forward slowly. "Yeah, Jaebum, that's me. I don't want to hurt you, I promise, but I want - would you like to come to my place for the night? I'm not sure whether you know or not, but there's going to be a massive snowstorm tonight, and I was thinking you'd rather be inside rather than out here in a bus stop. It's really cold in here right now, and it's only gonna get colder. Is that okay?"
The catboy stares at him, this time in amazement, comprehension and wonder filling his large brown eyes. He doesn't hiss or slap Jaebum's hand away when Jaebum carefully reaches out, seeking to give comfort through the only way he knows how, but when Jaebum's warmer fingers meet the icy cold of his jaw, the catboy flinches, ducking his head. (When Jaebum realizes he wants to touch the silky fur of the catboy's ears, he hurriedly snatches his hand back, trying to be respectful. And respect does not include touching the cat aspects of a stranger catboy, that he knows for sure.)
Finally, finally, the catboy nods one last time, and Jaebum knows that he's chosen between a helpful - or seemingly helpful, anyways - stranger or guaranteed frostbite of all his extremities. Still, it feels good to be trusted, even just a bit.
Jaebum holds his hand back out, in invitation this time. When the catboy carefully puts his own thin-fingered hand in Jaebum's, Jaebum gently pulls him up from the bench and impulsively takes off his jacket to wrap around the catboy's skinny body, zipping it up for him and showing him where the pockets are; he refuses to have the hood pulled up, probably because it'll smother his ears. Jaebum's winter jacket endeavors to swallow the catboy up, and now Jaebum is freezing cold, but at least the lingering warmth of Jaebum's body and the thick layers will help much more than the thin, pretty sweater.
He leads the way home, and the catboy follows at a scurry, sticking close to Jaebum but never making contact. It's later than ever now, the threatening storm is so close Jaebum can feel it in the air, and he picks up the pace so they can enter his apartment building sooner. The lobby is delightfully heated and darkened except for one single light, and Jaebum scrutinizes his new companion as they wait for the elevator to come down. "You okay?" he asks.
Another head bob. The catboy seems more relaxed, now that he's warm and safe, and he's seems to be pulling Jaebum's jacket closer around his body without even realizing it. Jaebum thinks ahead, hoping Jinyoung's old room is presentable enough to use as a guest room and his best friend hasn't left some weird shit under his bed. There should be extra blankets on some storage closet and his heating bill won't shoot up too high if he turns up the heat for a while. There's going to be a snowstorm of epic proportions, surely he can warrant this.
When the elevator pings to announce its arrival, the catboy startles and Jaebum instinctively reaches out to steady him before yanking his hand back, shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. They enter and Jaebum stretches a little awkwardly past the catboy, who skitters back to press against the far wall and looks immensely apologetic, to press the number 3 for his floor. The building isn't the newest, so the elevator rattles slightly as they move upwards and Jaebum feels kind of self-conscious. It's obvious from the catboy's appearance that he's used to a lavish style of living - Jaebum thinks that the sneakers he's wearing alone are probably worth three or four months of his paycheck at the family restaurant, if he lived in a perfect world with no bills to pay - and Jaebum is only a university student trying to make it through each month the best he can. But he's also human, and people don't treat him like an object for their entertainment, and other people automatically believe in his intelligence and assume he understands and reads, so Jaebum berates himself for being bitter about his own financial situation and gestures at the catboy to follow him once the elevator reaches his floor.
Only the elite own catboys, anyways. They're commonplace at movie premieres, equally dolled up as the celebrities and poised beside their owners in red carpet pictures, but not so much in Jaebum's world. The family restaurant rarely serves customers of that side of city, the alterations to accommodate catboys out of automatic obligation more than anything; people wealthy enough to afford a catboy would never need to live in Jaebum's apartment building. He goes to a decent university, but not one where students can splurge on such luxury among the costs of tuition and rent and utilities. There's a lot of disconnect between what you see in the media and what you see when a catboy is standing before you, Jaebum thinks - he didn't really expect them to look so human. So normal. If he ignores the ears and tail, the catboy would just be any other teenage boy he passes on the streets.
Moving on autopilot, Jaebum unlocks his apartment door and steps back to let the catboy enter first. The catboy stares at him, uncomprehending, until Jaebum gestures for him to go and he startles into movement. Jaebum closes the door behind him once the catboy is inside and toes his shoes off, leaving them haphazardly by the front door as he goes down the hall to check Jinyoung's room. Returning home after a long shift is always a relief; Jaebum can feel himself relaxing and unwinding in the warmth already. "Make yourself at home," he calls over his shoulder. "Feel free to sit anywhere there's room."
Jinyoung's room is empty enough, if not a little dusty, and Jaebum picks up the old Administrative Law binders from the desk on the way out; Jinyoung must have left them there and forgotten to throw them away when he was moving. Everything else is gone, though, and Jaebum pauses for a moment, staring at the walls that now look overly white and impersonal without the loud posters of Jinyoung's favorite bands and the corkboard where Jinyoung pinned up pictures of the two of them and old fliers from events they went to together - three years worth of memories amassed one by one. Jaebum hasn't seen the corkboard collage in a while, still hasn't gone to visit Jinyoung at Youngjae's place yet.
When Jaebum walks back out into the living room, he finds the catboy standing by the doorway where Jaebum left him. "Oh, hey, you can sit down, you know," Jaebum says, softening his voice, and notices that the catboy has taken off his shoes and lined them up neatly besides Jaebum's.
The catboy glances at him, and then at the couch worriedly, his face spelling out Are you sure? as clear as daylight.
"Yeah, sure, it's not going to eat you." Jaebum crosses the room himself and moves his laptop and books out of the way, sitting down and patting the couch seat beside him in invitation. The catboy is so skittish, like a pet afraid to make a mistake and get scolded. It takes a little more coaxing, but there's gratification at the end when the catboy tentatively inches across the room and takes a careful seat on the other end of the couch, curled up in the corner formed by the arm and back of the couch, just like he was at the bus stop. Jaebum just wishes he could get rid of the fear in the catboy's eyes, like he's expecting Jaebum to snap at him.
They sit in a silence for a while, Jaebum closing his eyes and taking a moment to recharge after such a turn of events. He's really not too sure what to do, but he decides to approach things like he would with any other guest, human or not, and try to make sure the catboy is comfortable so they can settle in for the night. "Are you hungry?" he asks, and the catboy shakes his head, ears drooping. "Thirsty?" Another head shake. But when Jaebum tries, "What about sleepy?" the catboy hesitates, looks at him with those anxious eyes, and dips his chin in a nod.
He gives the catboy an encouraging smile and stands, gesturing for the catboy to follow him; the quiet pad of the catboy's footsteps trails after Jaebum as he makes his way down the hall, flicking on the hallway light and apologizing when the catboy jumps at the sudden illumination. "This is the guest room," he says, pushing open the door. "It belonged to my old roommate so there might still be a few of his things lying around, but I don't think they'll get in your way. There are more blankets on the bed and in that closet, too, in case you get cold tonight. Tell me if you need anything else. Okay?"
The catboy nods again, more vigorously. Jaebum notices his nose is twitching as he takes in the new scents of Jinyoung's old room, and his ears are up now with his interest. He looks adorable, if Jaebum is honest with himself, and Jaebum isn't really the type to think of things as cute.
"Good," Jaebum says, and steps back out of the room. He pauses in closing the door to watch the catboy approach the bed, reaching out slowly to touch the soft fabric of his blankets, and can't help but add a soft "Sleep well" before he shuts the door with a quiet click and withdraws to his own room.
☼
When Jaebum wakes up the next morning, gloriously late in celebration of the weekend, it's so bright in his room that he wonders whether or not he slept straight the morning and into the afternoon. He blinks his eyes open and realizes he forgot to close the blinds of his window last night, and the sunlight reflecting off of such a massive amount of snow lights up Jaebum's room better than any light bulbs could. As far as the eye can see (or at least as far as Jaebum's eye can see from where he is, since he has yet to bother with sitting up), it's just whiteness, so bright his eyes hurt.
He's had so many snow days begin like this that Jaebum can practically hear Jinyoung bouncing down the hallway and throwing open Jaebum's door, yelling something about "motherfuckin' snow day pancakes," another long-time tradition of their friendship. This is the first snow day he's spent without Jinyoung - he didn't even buy pancake ingredients this time.
Eventually, he persuades himself to get out of bed, not even bothering with changing out of his pajamas, and yawns as he wanders down the hallway to the kitchen. On his way past Jinyoung's room - the guest room, he reminds himself, Jinyoung is long gone now - he pauses and then opens the door as quietly as possible to peek in.
The first thing he sees is how the catboy has pulled in the blankets around him to create a circular-shaped nest of sorts, with the pillows piled in the middle, under and around his skinny body. Jaebum notices the catboy is awake when his ears perk up, the black fur almost brown in the sunlight because Jaebum forgot to close those blinds, too. The catboy's pupils have constricted to black dots, and he squints up at Jaebum, looking bemused and a little disheveled from sleep.
"Good morning," Jaebum says, leaning against the door frame. "It's probably afternoon already, actually, but do you want some breakfast?"
The catboy sits up in one sinuous movement and Jaebum vaguely wishes he could be that graceful in the mornings, instead of tripping on the edge of his rug and stubbing his toe on his bed frame when his eyes have yet to fully open. He blinks at Jaebum and nods, his tail waving behind him.
Jaebum tries not to stare, and instead says, "Cool, sounds good. I'll find you some proper clothes to wear, since your old ones are probably wet from the snow, and we can have breakfast together, okay?"
When the catboy nods again, crawling out of his blanket nest, Jaebum ducks out of the room to grab some of his sweats from high school, hoping they're small enough to fit the catboy's tiny frame. He doesn't waste time in giving them to the catboy and backing out of the room again, giving him the privacy to change as he heads into the small kitchen unit to start breakfast. To be honest, Jaebum had only bought enough food to last one person for the weekend, but they should be able to get by with what he has in his fridge. "Do you want eggs?" he calls as he cracks two into a pan for himself.
"No," says a shy voice from behind him, and Jaebum jumps, almost dropping the rest of his eggs. He puts them back into the fridge and turns, shocked to see the catboy has already finished changing and silently entered the kitchen, standing by the dining table in Jaebum's old sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt he'd gotten for free at a school event in his freshman year. He looks even goddamn cuter today, the sleeves so long they hang over his fingertips, and his hair is tousled so that the pink strands are scattered and a little tangled with the black. (Jaebum reminds himself to find a hairbrush for him when they're done eating.)
"Oh, okay," he says, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice. This is the first time he's actually heard the catboy's voice - he sounds so young and vulnerable, it kind of makes Jaebum want to protect him automatically. Too bad the catboy isn't his to protect. "How about ham?"
The catboy nods, back to timid silence now that Jaebum is looking at him and he doesn't need to speak up. He's fiddling with the edge of his shirt, and has yet to lose the bewildered look in his eyes. Jaebum's clothes must smell and feel strange to him, because he keeps shifting and scrunching up his nose as he takes in the scents around him.
"Sit down and I'll be done in a second," Jaebum says gently, and turns back to the stove to save his eggs without checking whether or not the catboy has obeyed. He usually throws in some pieces of ham when they're almost done, so this time he takes out extra and puts it in the microwave for the catboy. On the way past the cupboards, he snags an extra mug, too, so the catboy can have some milk as well.
Breakfast is ready soon enough; Jaebum isn't the best cook, only knows enough to keep himself going so he doesn't blow too much money eating out every day, the way he and Jinyoung did during their first year in college. When he sets the ham and milk before the catboy, who is sitting with his hands in his lap, he feels a little self-conscious at such a simple excuse for a meal. "Do you want cereal?" he asks. Cereal he can do. They have plenty of cereal.
The catboy shakes his head, surprising Jaebum when he adds on a quiet, "No, thank you."
"Are you sure this is enough?" Jaebum has to check. "You must be hungry."
He gets another head shake, and Jaebum watches for a moment as the catboy hesitantly picks up the fork Jaebum gave him and starts nibbling at his ham. Trying not to stare, Jaebum tucks into his attempt at an omelette until the coffee maker beeps cheerfully and he goes to retrieve a cup of coffee with liberal amounts of sugar and cream. He isn't really big on awkward silences, and can't resist making more conversation when he sits back down with his coffee. "I actually don't like coffee too much," he confesses, and the catboy glances up from his food to look at Jaebum. "My best friend is a coffee addict, though, so he forced me into buying the coffee maker with him."
It's easy to talk about Jinyoung, and after that, his other friends and his schoolwork and the family restaurant he was on the way back from when he met the catboy. "What's your name, by the way?" Jaebum asks as he's finishing up his omelette, wishing he'd bought more cheese. "It feels a little weird to keep calling you 'the catboy' in my head."
That gets a giggle out of the catboy, and Jaebum is disproportionately proud of it. "I-I'm… My name is Bambam," the catboy says eventually, still shy, still timid.
"Nice to meet you, Bambam," Jaebum tells him, and gives him another glass of milk before getting to washing the dishes.
When he's done, they migrate to the living room, where Jaebum persuades Bambam to sit as he goes to grab them some blankets to wrap themselves up in. In spirit of the snowed in weekend, he returns to the kitchen to dig through the cupboards until he finds the instant hot chocolate powder and actual marshmallows, since the ones that come with the powder melt too fast every time. Bambam has swaddled himself up in one of Jaebum's thicker quilts, his head poking out, but he manages to untangle his hands to accept the warm mug of hot chocolate Jaebum offers to him.
The afternoon passes by uneventfully, the atmosphere of being comfortable and warm when it's so awfully cold outside settling over them. Jaebum works through his homework slowly and naps if he feels like it, his reading getting too boring to bear. He put the television on for Bambam to watch, flipping through the channels of sitcoms and reality shows before settling on a nature channel playing a documentary about the ocean; Bambam watches it willingly enough, having had refused the remote when Jaebum offered it to him, but Jaebum notices him alternating between watching the ocean documentary and watching him typing away on his laptop. He doesn't say anything, though, happy that Bambam doesn't look so scared anymore.
Around dinnertime, Jaebum closes his laptop and gets to his feet, stretching the kinks out of his back from sitting around so long, and Bambam straightens up in response, ever sensitive. "How does some food sound, Bambam?" Jaebum asks, turning off the television.
Bambam seems willing enough, and Jaebum happily makes ramyun, because no one can ever go wrong with ramyun. It's nothing gourmet, and Jaebum has hardly forgotten how fancy all of Bambam's clothes - which have been added to Jaebum's laundry, ready to go for tomorrow - were. But he believes there's a special delight in eating ramyun out of the pot, and Bambam seems to like it just as much.
"How about a game?" Jaebum offers when they're done eating. "I've read enough about government policies to last me for the rest of my life."
Bambam's ears cock forward at the word 'game,' which Jaebum takes as a good sign. "What do you have?" he asks, timid but trying. Jaebum wonders mutinously whether all catboys are this small and cute and endearing, because Bambam seems to excel at being that with no conscious effort at all.
Jaebum takes out his collection of board games from the closet in his room, spreading them out across the ground before Bambam's interested eyes. It's something he and Jinyoung have been building up forever, and snowed in weekends are the perfect time for a tournament of board games and card games and video games, just like they were kids without adult responsibilities all over again. Eventually, they settle on Jenga, because Bambam has never seen it before and Jaebum can tell he's definitely interested now.
After a couple rounds, the wooden blocks spilling all over the floor of Jaebum's bedroom so that he and Bambam have to fish under his bed to find them all, Jaebum is wishing he hadn't chosen this game. It seems to be his turn every time the tower falls, even though Bambam is only a first time player, and Jaebum has to admit his ego is bruised - he used to pummel Jinyoung and his impatience every time they played this game. But with the way Bambam's eyes light up with delight when he wins, Jaebum isn't too upset about it.
They stop playing when Bambam yawns three times in succession and looks up at Jaebum apologetically when he realizes Jaebum noticed. It seems he succumbs just as easily to the world of snowed in weekends as everyone else, sleepy even though they hardly did anything all day besides sit around and eat and play games. "Let's sleep," Jaebum suggests, resisting the urge to pet Bambam on the head when he looks at Jaebum like that. He never did get him a hairbrush.
"Okay," Bambam says cheerfully. Jaebum lets him go to his room on his own, waving away his attempts to help clean up the blocks from their last round, which had finally ended in Jaebum's victory.
They sleep in again on the next day. After a simple breakfast, they play their way through whatever Bambam seems to like among the rest of Jaebum's board game collection, before moving on to the repertoire of card games Jaebum can manage to remember from his childhood. All of them are new and unfamiliar to Bambam, but he's clever and learns quickly, holding his own against Jaebum. He's also more open today, laughing more often, and doesn't flinch away when Jaebum touches his arm without thinking during a game.
As they're putting away Jaebum's only deck of cards (which, ironically, were a gag gift from a restaurant staff party when Younghyun gave him cards patterned with frolicking puppies), Jaebum's cell phone pings with the tone he's set for Jinyoung. "Bambam, can you get me that?" Jaebum asks, struggling to fit the pack of cards back into their box. He knows Jinyoung will whine if Jaebum ignores his texts; they'd texted on and off the day before, but Jinyoung had been busy finishing his internship work to open up Sunday as a free day.
Bambam nods and jumps to his feet, crossing the room to retrieve Jaebum's phone off his bedside dresser. He hands it to Jaebum, beaming at Jaebum's thanks, and sits back down beside him - he's been sitting a bit closer and closer to Jaebum all day, too, close enough Jaebum can feel the warmth of his body.
It's a new text: YOUNGJAE WONT EAT PANCAKES FOR DINNER WITH ME I NEED YOU TO COME GET ME AND TAKE ME TO MY PROPER HOME
Jaebum rolls his eyes, holds his phone out for Bambam to see when he notices the catboy peeking at the screen curiously. have u even looked outside this wknd, he texts back. besides ur the one w/the car, not me
IDC HYUNG COME NOW :( :( :(, Jinyoung sends back instantly.
Jaebum replies, it's impossible sry man and turns to Bambam. "Speaking of dinner, you hungry?"
Bambam smiles brightly at him and nods yes. Even though he's spoken more in the past two days, he's still reticent, but Jaebum doesn't mind. Truth be told, he hasn't felt lonely all weekend since Jinyoung moved out - and he knows that feeling well, coming home after long shifts or difficult classes and expecting Jinyoung's loud presence to greet him only to be met with a heavy silence. Bambam isn't one for noise, but he's always close by and always happy to laze around or play with Jaebum. Jaebum knows he should be feeling a little guilty, at least, but Jinyoung has Youngjae, right? He'll be fine, even if Youngjae wrestles him into eating something else for dinner.
Jaebum and Bambam eat something nicer than usual, which for Jaebum means something that didn't come out of a jar or box. It probably doesn't taste amazing, but Bambam eats eagerly, which is good to see. He's so skinny Jaebum could easily curl his fingers around his wrist and maybe have some overlap, so delicate Jaebum could snap it if he wasn't careful. But he is, constantly aware of Bambam's every movement. He can't remember ever feeling this protective over another person's well being and happiness before and he's only known Bambam for a day.
After dinner, they settle down on the couch again for a movie. Jinyoung took most of their DVDs when he moved out, but Jaebum kept some of his favorites and now he lets Bambam pick one. It's a funny one, Jaebum's seen it several times. "Good choice," he tells Bambam.
Bambam's answering smile is radiant. When they sit down on the couch, the catboy sits right beside Jaebum, so their thighs touch, and Jaebum watches as Bambam tucks his tail absently up against his leg. "Can I touch it?" he blurts.
"What?" Bambam says, startled.
"Your tail," Jaebum says, because he's already said it, he might as well go through with it. And it's true that Jaebum does want to touch it, see if Bambam's fur is as silky as it looks.
"Oh," Bambam says, ducking his head and maybe even blushing a little. "Okay."
"Okay?" Jaebum echos incredulously. He hadn't expected Bambam to say yes.
Bambam nods and his tail twitches in the space between their hands, laid over Bambam's thigh. Fascinated, Jaebum reaches out tentatively, stroking slowly down the length of it as if moving too quickly will scare Bambam off, and the catboy shivers at the touch. It's softer than Jaebum expected, curling around his hand with the tip resting lightly on his wrist.
After a long moment, ignorant of the movie's opening credits playing on the television, Jaebum pulls his hand back. "Thank you," he says, suddenly formal.
Bambam nods, his cheeks flushed - with embarrassment, maybe. He doesn't shift away from Jaebum when they turn to watch the movie properly, which Jaebum takes as a good sign. They watch the movie mostly in silence after that, Jaebum laughing at the punch lines and Bambam echoing him, though Jaebum thinks Bambam is probably laughing at him instead of the movie.
They watch as the main character struggles against obstacles and eventually finds his happy ending, and soft, sweet music plays in the background as the end credits begin to roll. Jaebum doesn't get up - there's a warmth on his shoulder, against his side, where Bambam accidentally dozed off against him. He turns to look at the catboy's peaceful face, and kind of wishes he could reach up and stroke the curve of Bambam's cheek, brush his bangs out of his eyes and touch his cat ears, maybe watch the flush bloom across his cheekbones again. One touch, and he's made this insatiable. In the end, Bambam wouldn't like it if some stranger tried to pet him, and that's what Jaebum is, really. A stranger.
For all it's worth, Jaebum's just been treating Bambam like another boy - as much as he possibly can, anyways, with the constant reminder in Bambam's ears and tail, but even those things aren't as visually shocking anymore. He knows next to nothing about catboys, and he's worried that he'll do something wrong and hurt Bambam accidentally from his ignorance. He might not have thought things through properly when he approached Bambam at the bus stop, but if he's going to do this and house Bambam, he better do it right. There's no way of telling how long Bambam will be staying with him, or whether someone's out there looking for Bambam even though he was, in all appearances, abandoned, but Jaebum knows better than to get attached to someone who has to go in the end. He just wants to make sure Bambam is okay now, first.
Jaebum racks his mind. All he has to go off of at this point is the vague memory of a conversation he had with Jinyoung months ago, about his classmate and friend Jackson. He'd only met Jackson once, at a party during his undergraduate years, but knew of him because Jackson had shared a class with Jinyoung the year before. yo, he texts Jinyoung. your friend jackson has a catboy right?
It takes a couple minutes for Jinyoung to reply. Jaebum times them by Bambam's soft breaths, the rise and fall of his slender chest. yeah why, Jinyoung replies, nine breaths later.
do u have his number i need to ask him something, Jaebum sends back.
Jinyoung sends him a phone number and adds, why do you need to ask him sth about catboys???
i uh happened to pick one up this weekend i guess, Jaebum starts to type, then hesitates and deletes it all, sending i'll tell u later instead. It's not right to keep secrets from your best friend, Jaebum knows, and it's especially nightmarish when he has to keep things from Jinyoung; once Jinyoung catches wind of something, he won't let it go until he drags it out of Jaebum. But Jaebum wants to hold onto this, keep it for himself, just a little longer. He's not quite ready to share Bambam yet.
Instead of replying to Jinyoung's ?????? TELL ME texts, Jaebum sends Jackson a message instead: hi this is jaebum, i'm jinyoung's friend. can i ask for some advice about catboys?
When Jackson doesn't reply immediately, Jaebum pockets his phone and very gently dislodges Bambam from his side. Bambam grumbles softly in his sleep, burrowing his face against Jaebum's sweater, as Jaebum picks him up and carries him down the hall, nudging the door of the guest room open with a foot. The nest is mostly intact, and Jaebum settles Bambam in the middle of it. Once the warmth of Jaebum's body moves away, Bambam whines needily, and the impulse to pet him rises in Jaebum again. "Sorry," Jaebum whispers instead. "Good night, Bambam."
He backs out of the room and checks his phone on the way back to his own bedroom. Jackson has replied yea hey jaebum what is it.
When he sends Jackson a quick summary of what happened on Friday night, asking for help in caring for Bambam, Jackson replies instantly now. itd take a long time to explain via text, he says. if youre free you can come to my place and i can show you what i do with mark
mark?, Jaebum texts back.
mark is my catboy, youll get to meet him 2moro
Jaebum replies, thanking Jackson a million times over and getting his address. He doesn't live too far from the university, which is convenient. Jaebum should be able to head over before his evening shift at the restaurant.
part two