{got7; jb/bambam} the soft animal of your body (iii)

[seulpeo]

Title: the soft animal of your body, part iii/iv



part two

When Jaebum wakes up the next morning, he rolls over, kicking the covers off of his feet to escape how warm they are. "What," he grumbles when he bumps into a warm, soft body.

"Huh?" a quiet voice says sleepily from underneath him.

"Oh, fuck," Jaebum says without thinking as the events of yesterday evening come barreling back to him. Walking into an unusually silent apartment, opening the door to his own bedroom, watching Bambam writhe with orgasm after orgasm. The evidence is dried and crusting uncomfortably on Bambam's pale, smooth stomach; instead of looking at it, Jaebum hurriedly moves back to the other side of the bed and gets to his feet, shivering at the sudden cold creeping stubbornly into his room.

Bambam shifts so his head peeks out of the blankets, eyes wide and anxious. "Wh-where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," Jaebum tries to reassure him, but he can't quite make himself meet Bambam's eyes properly. Yes, the haze is gone, the desperation dissipated, but the vivid memories are all too persistent.

He slips into the bathroom and takes a long moment with his forehead pressed against the cold surface of the mirror. What have I done? Jaebum asks himself as he runs the tap, using the frigid water to rinse last night away, yet only physically. Suddenly, every increasingly familiar touch, every coaxed-out smile building up to a trust Jaebum was never too sure he would be able to earn, have been shattered. He can't think of another way he could have dealt with the situation, but what he had done was hardly right. Jaebum holds his breath, focuses on getting his heart beat to slow down, and clenches his hands into fists so they'll stop trembling. When he's as in control as he'll ever get, with Bambam still waiting for him in his bed, he wets a hand towel and ventures back out into the bedroom.

Bambam watches silently as Jaebum peels back the blankets and slowly wipes his bare stomach clean. Neither of them speak, and Jaebum can't help but feel that this one action is more intimate, more tenuous than anything between them before. Underneath the deliberate strokes of the towel, Bambam is perfectly - unnaturally - still.

"You okay?" Jaebum says quietly.

"Yes," Bambam whispers. And that's that.

They move on with their usual daily routines, Jaebum pouring himself into his homework reading until the words blur before his eyes. Instead of working in the living room as he always does, right thigh warm from the weight of Bambam's head, he spreads his notes across the surface of the desk in his room, and tells himself it's only because the lighting in his bedroom is better. On his part, Bambam is curled up in the corner of the couch, ears down and tail hanging listlessly, when Jaebum ventures back out for food. They eat in silence, and Jaebum goes back to work on his homework again, takes a nap when the fatigue from staying up so late the night before hits.

By the time he's about to go get dinner ready, Jaebum is ready to scream under the pressure of such dead silence hanging over every room of the apartment - regardless of whether or not Bambam is in it. There, in the bathroom, where Bambam left his clothes in the shower, having had stripped them off perfunctorily and glanced at Jaebum in surprise when Jaebum averted his eyes politely. Or the living room, the catboy lingering over the possible selections of Jaebum's movie collection, ears perked in excitement. Or at the kitchen table, sitting on the edge of his seat so his tail - which Jaebum cut a hole for, taking a pair of scissors to his old sweatpants, so that Bambam wouldn't have to smother it under fabric when they were at home - could wave free. And now he has this, a tiny body huddled on the couch as far as it can get from where Jaebum usually sits, looking so very sorry it's like Bambam could drown in it. What is there even to be sorry for? The one who's done wrong here is Jaebum, after all.

His cell phone rings before he can put his feelings to words, and Jaebum trips over his backpack in his haste to get it, grateful for the interruption. "Hello?" he says hurriedly, catching himself on the edge of the table.

"Yo! Jaebum hyung!" crows Jinyoung into his ear. He sounds even more cheerful than usual, which has Jaebum guessing what he's going to say before the words even spill from his mouth. "Impromptu party at my place tonight, like, right now. Get your ass over here!"

"I don't know," Jaebum says, resisting the urge to lower his voice. There's nothing suspicious about having his best friend call him up to party - it's hardly the first time, even after Jinyoung moved out - but he still feels bad about it with Bambam in the apartment. He's never asked, but suddenly he's sure that Bambam's cat senses can hear every word both he and Jinyoung utter. "How many drinks have you had so far?"

"Not sure," Jinyoung says happily. "Lost count after a while. We've been playing beer pong for a couple of hours, and Youngjae recently learned how to mix cocktails for fun. Dude, these drinks are so good, you have to try them."

"You're an idiot for taking drinks from Youngjae, just wait until he's posting pictures of your drunk ass on Facebook tomorrow morning," Jaebum says admonishingly, but he's smiling.

"Eh," Jinyoung says, and Jaebum can easily picture him waving his hand around nonchalantly, as clear as day, like Jinyoung's right in front of him. "It's okay. It's all in good fun! Come hang, Jaebumie, I haven't seen you in forever."

"Who's fault is that?" Jaebum says, evading the invitation.

"Not mine," Jinyoung whines. "Jaebum hyung, please? For me?"

Jaebum laughs again, the most carefree he's felt all day. His best friend always does the trick when Jaebum feels down, just like this. "I don't know, Jinyoung, I've got work tomorrow."

"Not that it's ever stopped you before!" Jinyoung yells. Behind him, someone calls his name; they're starting another round of their beer pong game, with or without him. Jaebum thinks he recognizes the voice, Wooyoung, when it comes closer and drawls, "Tell Jaebum we've got all this alcohol and if he doesn't show up, it'll all be gone, fast."

"The guys are back already?" Jaebum asks, tempted now.

"Uh huh," Jinyoung says, dragging out the last vowel and laughing at the sound. "It was their idea to party and celebrate their return in the area this week. You should come over, seriously, they're dying to see you!"

Jaebum knows that would be so very easy to get caught up in the exuberant, carefree atmosphere that Wooyoung and Taecyeon and the others bring to every party, and it's been a while since Jaebum spent time with them. He could do it - he could leave his school work for another night, make it through the (hopefully minimal) hangover at work the next day, if Yugyeom can grab him some tea in the kitchens. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened, and he has yet to regret it even if it's a bad decision.

Jaebum is about to say yes when he remembers the catboy he's now, as far as he knows, the caretaker of. He may not be his rightful owner, who Bambam still has yet to tell him anything about, but it's his house that Bambam is staying in right now, isn't it? And that makes Bambam his responsibility. He's supposed to take care of him, especially with what he did to Bambam yesterday. "So sorry, man," Jaebum tells Jinyoung, the words spilling from his mouth quickly, maybe even before he comes to a decision. But they feel right - even with how wrong things have been lately - so he keeps going. "I'll have to take a rain check on this one. The guys aren't leaving until next week, right?"

"Yeah," Jinyoung says, his voice pitching as he protests, "but I want to hang with you! It's been forever!"

"I know, I'm sorry," Jaebum repeats, letting Jinyoung guilt trip him and promising to treat Jinyoung some time to lunch after class soon. It's like he doesn't even know himself anymore, picking someone over the best friend of his entire life, but something about leaving Bambam on his own in a dead silent apartment - to drink and party, not even for class or work - doesn't sit quite right with Jaebum. Class and work are obligations he can't avoid, but he can avoid abandoning Bambam to such emptiness, especially with how tentative and unwhole they are right now. Can they even be what they were before, anyways?

Jinyoung finally hangs up after the calls of beer pong are too much for him to resist, Chansung getting rowdy with his impatience and Junho, from the sounds of it, physically dragging Jinyoung across the room. It sounds like the boys are in for a typical alcohol-fueled night, and Jaebum is almost regretful that he won't be there to watch it all go down.

"H-hyung?" Bambam calls, his voice hardly a whisper. It sounds unusually hoarse. "You're not leaving?"

"No," Jaebum says. Saying it out loud makes it real, makes him realize that he really did just blow Jinyoung off. All the guys haven't been in one place for months ever since they all graduated, too - but if Jaebum stops by sometime by the end of next week, maybe sometime between classes, he'll still be able to see them. It's not a problem, really.

Bambam whimpers high in his throat and Jaebum is turning to him reflexively, his chest tightening when he recognizes the haze beginning to settle over Bambam's eyes. He knows what this is now, having seen and replied to Jackson's texts. He knows what is it, been watching for it all day, but it doesn't make it any easier.

its called heat, Jackson told him, after profuse apologies for not letting him know sooner beyond such a vague remark on Jaebum's way out; Jaebum accepted his remorse but couldn't help feel resentful. every catboy gets it no matter their gender, and it happens monthly after they reach physical maturity and lasts several days long. i hadnt thought bambam was old enough for it but dont worry itll go by much faster if you help him through it

i did but it felt wrong to, Jaebum admitted, feeling sick inside at the very thought of putting his hands on Bambam's body without proper permission. He did that. He knew he shouldn't have but he did.

no srsly its ok dude, Jackson said instantly, you did what you had to and it put him out of his pain. awkward but you either have to fuck it out of him or leave him there to suffer.

Fuck it out of him, Jaebum thinks now. A quick search on the Internet claimed that if penetrative sex occurred, a heat could be cut down from nearly a week to a mere three or four days; since Bambam is still rather young, it'll be a bit shorter than the average. But not short enough. "You okay?" Jaebum asks softly, moving forwards Bambam on the couch.

"Jaebum hyung," Bambam gasps, and reaches out instinctively once Jaebum nears. "Hyung - "

"Yeah," Jaebum says softly, letting Bambam dig his fingers into his biceps and cling as he himself runs his hands along Bambam's face and neck, trying to soothe before it gets too bad. "I'm right here." He's mostly moving on autopilot, now, trying to remember where he left the bottled water so he doesn't have to focus on drowning out the part of him screaming in protest at doing this all over again. Jackson said it was this or letting Bambam suffer the heat all by himself, and Jaebum won't let the latter happen.

His conflict must be apparent on his face, anyways, because Bambam sobs a little and curls in on himself, face pressed to Jaebum's shoulder. A clumsy litany of apologizes are muffled against the shoulder of Jaebum's jacket, "I'm sorry you have to do this I'm sorry that I'm like this I'm sorry I'm sorry," and Jaebum is horrified with himself. He hadn't realized Bambam would take it so hard and shift the blame onto himself; the catboy has as little control over his own body processes as Jaebum does over them.

"Don't," he pleads, pushing gently at Bambam and lifting the catboy's chin with a firm, careful hand. Bambam squeezes his eyes closed to avoid making eye contact but Jaebum still has to try, saying, "Bambam, don't, this isn't on you. It's my problem. And I want to help you through this, I really do."

Bambam trembles under his hands, and Jaebum is astonished at how quickly his body temperature is rising, the catboy already beginning to pant and flush. His arousal is apparent in his sweatpants, his nipples erect through the thin fabric of his borrowed shirt. "H-Help me," he begs, unable to hold onto his reason any longer. "I need you."

"I'm right here," Jaebum murmurs, and resigns himself to the ruthless demands of Bambam's body. He divests Bambam of his clothes as quickly as possible, knowing how messy it'll get, and a heatsick Bambam keens whenever more of his skin is exposed, already hypersensitive. He comes embarrassingly fast the first time, Jaebum barely touching him, and Jaebum can hardly believe it when his body demands they keep going. Again and again and again, until Jaebum's arms are cramping and Bambam's skin is slick with sweat and come.

"It's not enough," Bambam sobs out finally. It feels like they've been at it for hours, and a glance at the clock shows that they have. Jaebum can hardly keep up. "Hyung, I need more - "

Fuck it out of him, Jaebum thinks again. "I need - " his voice cracks mid-sentence, and he loses the rest of his words. Swallows and tries again. "I need to get supplies. Can you wait?"

"Hurry," Bambam wails.

Jaebum doesn't need to be told twice. He ducks away, trying not to think about how he won't be able to use the couch anymore now that they've done this on it, worrying about their lack of dinner because he knows that he'll be too tired to cook any. In his bedroom, he fumbles for the tube of lubricant and the bottle of water again and, after a moment of hesitation, takes a condom from its box for the first time in months. After stripping down to his underwear again, Jaebum hurries back out into the living room where he finds Bambam with his face buried against the couch where Jaebum was leaning against, hand jerking himself off punishingly hard. "Hey," he says shakily, and Bambam's eyes fly open.

"I need it," the catboy demands, his voice pitching, his eyes wild and beyond recognition. He's an animal, now, reduced to instinct.

"You need to drink," Jaebum insists, and manages to coax a couple gulps of water down Bambam's throat before Bambam is shaking his head, pushing at Jaebum's wrist and whining. The water is left abandoned on the table as Bambam scrambles into Jaebum's lap, bracing himself with Jaebum's shoulders, his whimpers directly up against Jaebum's ears. There's no way Jaebum can say no - he finds that he no longer wants to.

This time, Jaebum drips lube down the crack of Bambam's ass, feeling Bambam jerk in surprise at the cold, and slowly fingers his way up to two, then three fingers. It's like a dream and a nightmare rolled into one all over again, the way Bambam's cock weeps pre-come onto Jaebum's t-shirt as his thighs tremble from the exertion of holding himself up over Jaebum's lap. "Feels good," Bambam sobs, chest heaving. "Hyung, so good."

"Good," Jaebum echos. He can feel the fur of Bambam's tail against his arm as he works his fingers in and out of Bambam's tight hole, the sleek length curling tight around Jaebum's arm as if to keep him there. When he finally finds Bambam's prostate, though, it thrashes free in time with Bambam's shocked cry. Jaebum rubs against his prostate again and then Bambam is coming, hard, making a mess of both Jaebum and himself as he clamps around Jaebum's fingers. Jaebum can't help but imagine that heat around him and feels - feels faint. Tempted. So turned on he could die from it, too. Heat is relentless, curling under his own skin even though he's not the one with cat ears and a tail, dragging him in.

Bambam slumps against him, breathing hard, and Jaebum rubs his back in a weak attempt to soothe. "You okay?" he asks quietly.

He gets a weak murmur in response, which will have to be good enough. When he tries to withdraw his fingers, though, Bambam shakes his head and whines, tightening around him. "Not yet," he pants, "don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jaebum promises him, biting his lip at Bambam's words. He still eases his fingers free, Bambam sobbing at the loss, and lets Bambam bury his face against Jaebum's neck. He feels numb, almost. His hands are messy with lube and Bambam's come streaks his bare stomach, and he just feels numb. Unable to acknowledge his own erection through his own personal haze.

It's too much to hope that the heat has cooled, though. By the time Jaebum musters the strength to lift Bambam and carry them both to his bedroom, it looks like he'll need to wash the sheets for a second day in a row because the fever is rising once again, Bambam clawing at him desperately. Jaebum brings Bambam off twice more, the fingers of one hand inside of him and the other hand curled around Bambam's cock, the catboy muffling moans against the muscle of Jaebum's shoulder. There will be teeth marks, Jaebum thinks as he lays back, Bambam finally passed out. Teeth marks on his shoulder, a few scratches down his arm, more come than a single human being should be able to produce - but then again, Bambam is hardly human. His face is flushed hot but beginning to cool, and Jaebum reaches out for some tissues from the box on his bedside table, tries to wipe the sweat from his flushed face. In sleep, Bambam looks so very innocent.

"Sorry," Jaebum says to him quietly, taking in how Bambam has finally, finally relaxed with relief. He doesn't really want to think about how it was, well, easier to do it the second time around. He doesn't deserve that kind of reprieve. It took longer than yesterday for Bambam to be spent, and Jaebum doesn't know what he'll do if the trend continues. Fuck it out of him, Jackson said.

Jaebum leans back against his pillows, closing his eyes. Sleep first. Decide later.

The next day is painstakingly awkward all over again, but this time Jaebum resolves to get over himself rather than shut Bambam out again. He slips free from bed when he wakes before Bambam, but only to start the hot water running in the shower.

"Hyung?" Bambam calls as Jaebum is searching under the sink for body wash.

"Yeah?" he answers. He finds the bottle in the back and grabs it, straightening, before peeking out into the bedroom.

Bambam is nestled deep in Jaebum's blankets, and Jaebum notices he has shifted to the other side of the bed to rest where Jaebum slept. "I thought you left," Bambam says, eyes wide and needy, thankfully lucid. His voice sounds so worried, Jaebum instantly feels bad.

"I'm right here, Bambam," Jaebum says, offering him a reassuring smile, as genuine as he can make it - today will be better than yesterday. He can tell Bambam wants to say something, from the way the catboy is squirming and giving him that pleading look, so he steps back out of the bathroom and goes to the bed to let Bambam take hold of his hands. "What is it?" he asks, bemused. "The water is still running."

Bambam latches onto Jaebum's hands like he's scared Jaebum will vanish if he doesn't cling tightly enough. "Hyung," he says, urgent but tongue-tied the way he always seems to get when he needs to say something important, "I just - I'm - "

"It's okay, it's okay," Jaebum tries to soothe him. He manages to get Bambam to leave the warmth of the bed and carries him into the bathroom, automatically cradling him against his chest a little; Bambam has both arms around Jaebum's neck, face hidden again. Both of them are still as naked as they were when they went to sleep - Bambam entirely, Jaebum rather close to it - but Jaebum tries not to think about that. It takes some maneuvering, but he manages to turn off the hot water tap without dropping Bambam into the water too soon. "You up for a bath?" he asks gently.

"B-Bath?" Bambam repeats, lifting his head so he can give Jaebum a quizzical look. The water seems to make him nervous, even after their successful shower a few before. That day seems so long ago now.

"Yeah, see? A bath," Jaebum says, and explains it to Bambam, who peers at the filled bathtub dubiously over Jaebum's shoulder even when Jaebum dips a hand into the warm water in the tub to show him. Jaebum hadn't been too sure how a catboy would take to so many water - cats hate water, right? - and Bambam looks afraid until Jaebum promises he'll be right there next to him for the entire time.

Bambam huddles in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest, once Jaebum lowers him in, and seems resigned that his tail will get soaked. The water temperature isn't too hot, at least, and Jaebum can tell the catboy is beginning to relax by the time Jaebum starts lathering the shampoo in his hair, careful to avoid getting the soapy foam into Bambam's cat ears. "Good?" he checks, anyways.

"Yes," Bambam says, his eyes shut. He leans back towards Jaebum, his back up against the side of the tub - he's so skinny that the bathtub that's too small for Jaebum to fit in comfortably is the right size for him. His skin is warmed, but only to a reasonable degree by the water of his bath, not unnaturally hot. Jaebum can only wonder at how long this reprieve will hold.

Eventually, Jaebum finishes shampooing Bambam's hair, rinsing the bubbles out the best he can while without soaking his ears, and leaves in some conditioner as he helps Bambam soap the rest of his body off with the body wash. The dried come takes a little longer to get off than Jaebum expects it will, Bambam blushing but unresistant when Jaebum passes the loofah over his stomach, but Jaebum tries his best not to react in fear it'll break this hesitantly sweet atmosphere around them. It feels so innocent, so pure, Jaebum knows he'll be sad to see it go.

In the end, he can't really help its loss when the tears start rolling down Bambam's cheeks, as Jaebum is thoroughly washing the last traces of conditioner out of Bambam's hair. "Bambam?" he asks in alarm when he realizes the tracks are from crying, not the water of the bath. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing," Bambam sniffs, trying to turn his face away.

"What do you mean nothing?" Jaebum presses on, even though it's obvious Bambam is embarrassed by his own tears. "Did I hurt you? Maybe I got soap into your eyes, I'm sorry, Bambam - "

"No," Bambam cries. He covers his face in his hands, and his voice is muffled when he finally says, "It's not your fault, it's all mine, I just - I can't help it, they just keep coming - "

Distressed by his sobs, Jaebum tries to comfort him with the only way he knows how to, curling Bambam to his chest even though Bambam whimpers out a weak "wait, I'm still wet" and carding his fingers through Bambam's damp hair, remembering to scratch lightly at the base of his ears. It only seems to make things worse, though, Bambam crying even harder, but when Jaebum tries to back away and give him space, Bambam whines and locks his arms around Jaebum's neck to keep him from moving away any farther. All Jaebum can do is rub his back and helplessly offer any calming words that come to mind, "I'm here, don't be upset, it's okay it's okay it's okay."

"I'm scared," Bambam eventually chokes out, refusing to meet Jaebum's gaze. "I don't want you to shut me out again like yesterday. You - you're so gentle now and I've never had anyone actually treat me like I'm valuable, and I know you'll have to t-touch me again tonight and I won't know whether you'll still like me or not tomorrow morning, and that's so scary."

This is the most Jaebum has ever heard Bambam speak at once, and his relief and happiness at Bambam finally opening up to him is drowned by an overwhelming guilt at his words. "Bambam, this really is my fault and I'm so sorry," he tries, but Bambam shakes his head against him, holding on tighter.

"No, it's my fault. You're not the one who gets heats. I can't even control my own body around you when I get like that!" Bambam cries in frustration. "If I wasn't like this, you would never have been so upset."

Jaebum carefully but firmly breaks Bambam's hold on him, grasping him by the shoulders so he can look at him directly in the face. Bambam tries to resist, ducking his chin, but Jaebum tips it back up so he can meet Bambam's eyes, which are swollen red from crying. "It's not your fault," he says, his tone keeping Bambam from objecting again. "It really isn't. You can't control the needs of your body, and I should've been more prepared for this. There was nothing you could've done to keep it from happening."

Bambam averts his eyes. "You probably never even wanted me like that," he mutters unhappily.

"No!" Jaebum bursts out, and Bambam flinches in surprise at the sudden shout. "Bambam, don't even think that - it's not that I don't want you, it's that I didn't - I never wanted that kind of thing with you just because you would be suffering without it. I wanted... I guess I wanted you to want it, too."

He kind of wants to disappear once the truth is out in the open like that, but at the same time, the weight threatening to smother him these last couple days has been finally, finally unloaded. The confession hangs in the air between them, saying too much more than just the words Jaebum admitted, and Bambam colors again. "Really?" he whispers.

Jaebum might be blushing, too, but he hopes Bambam can't tell. "Well, yeah," he says awkwardly, but honestly. This is most honest he's ever been. "It wouldn't be the same unless you wanted it as much as...as I did."

"Oh," Bambam says quietly, absorbing. After a long moment, Jaebum goes back to washing out the conditioner leftover in Bambam's hair, rinsing him clean and grabbing a towel off the sink countertop as the bathwater begins to drain away. Bambam allows himself to be moved to wherever Jaebum takes him, which is seated on the toilet, wrapped up in one of Jaebum's towels as Jaebum dries his hair with another. He goes without objection when Jaebum asks him to wait elsewhere as Jaebum takes a shower, and after the quickest shower of his life, Jaebum finds Bambam sitting in the middle of the bed, waiting for him. He's mostly dressed already, his still-damp tail curling and uncurling slowly in the air behind him.

"You hungry?" Jaebum asks him once he has some proper clothes on, too. "We didn't eat dinner last night, and I'm starving."

Bambam nods fervently, and they kind of fall back into their own pattern for the rest of the day. The only difference from their usual routine is when Jaebum solemnly calls in sick for his dinner shift at the restaurant after the two of them finish eating a late brunch, apologizing to his boss endlessly and promising to pick up more shifts in the coming week, and Bambam watches him the entire time with full understanding of why; it's not a perfect understanding, but it'll do for now. By the time the heat is beginning to lick its way through Bambam's veins, Jaebum is already there, well within reach when Bambam gasps and whimpers for him. Water and the other necessities are laid out neatly on the bedside table, waiting.

"I'm right here," Jaebum murmurs, eyes serious and hands as still as he can manage to keep them. He's more nervous tonight than any other night yet - has already divested himself of everything, including his underwear, and feels a bit insecure without his usual last shield.

"Hyung," Bambam says desperately, like he's afraid Jaebum won't understand him at this most crucial moment, "hyung, I really do want it. All of it. Okay?"

Jaebum searches the catboy's expression for any haze, any doubt or hesitation, and is shocked to find none. "You're sure?" he has to check, anyways.

"I'm sure," Bambam tells him, his voice vehement. Jaebum has never seen his small, delicate self so determined about something, and now that something is him. Bambam is much stronger, much more steel than Jaebum or anyone else gives him credit for. "If it's you, then I know I'm sure."

Jaebum flushes and summons the courage to leans forward, pressing a kiss to the corner of Bambam's mouth and watching in awe as Bambam mewls at the contact. "Hang in there," he says softly as the heat-haze begins to take over.

Losing Bambam to heat this time is, if it were even possible, worse than before. Jaebum keeps looking for a coherency that cannot exist in Bambam's keening cries and needy gazes, which are even more desperate than ever on day three of Bambam's heat. Tonight, the catboy is insatiable, fucking himself back onto Jaebum's slicked up fingers as he moans for more, moans for Jaebum's cock, even though he's already come so many times that Jaebum has long lost count. The usual jerking off and fingering aren't enough. "Please," Bambam whimpers, trembling and clenching down around Jaebum's fingers. "Please, oh, please, I need it."

For a second, Jaebum doesn't think he can do it. But heat-sick Bambam is still Bambam, and he needs Jaebum to care for him even more than ever now, not Jaebum backing out because he can't get over his own misgivings when Bambam has already given him everything. When Jaebum directs him to get on his hands and knees, please, Bambam is so very obedient and earnest that he nearly falls over from how hastily he moves into place. On his part, Jaebum is so turned on he feels dizzy, his own body unable to resist answering the primal call of one as receptive as Bambam's before him. "Fuck," he rasps out, and Bambam whines in response, his erect cock bobbing between his legs.

He gently lifts Bambam's tail out of the way, the black fur matted already; in the past few nights, Jaebum noticed that Bambam's tail kept getting pinned underneath him, and he wants Bambam to be as comfortable as possible for this. Bambam shivers beneath him and his tail curls around Jaebum's forearm for a brief moment, tip brushing against Jaebum's wrist, before lashing away, and Jaebum finds that such a tiny, nonconsequential gesture calms him more than any promise that could come out of Bambam's mouth right now. "You okay?" he asks one last time.

"Yesyesyes," Bambam babbles, his thighs trembling and his chest heaving. He has his hands fisted sloppily in Jaebum's sheets, and when Jaebum slides two fingers back inside of him, he scrambles for proper purchase even as he whines for more.

Jaebum stretches him until there's no way he can prepare him any more, simultaneously reducing Bambam to a whimpering and begging mess, and then he's rolling the condom on as quickly as possible and pushing slowly into Bambam, who feels tighter and hotter than Jaebum ever expected. They both groan when Jaebum is finally fully sheathed, Bambam breathing hard underneath him. "Does that feel good?" Jaebum whispers, voice dropped low and deep with his arousal.

"Move," Bambam cries, trying to roll his hips back against Jaebum and keening his frustration when Jaebum's grip keeps him from getting the leverage he needs. "Come on, come on, you're so good, Jaebum hyung, I need it!"

Jaebum swears again and gives him what he wants, thrusting slow and deep until Bambam is actually sobbing into the sheets before he drives them to a hard pace without wasting time, almost painfully so. It's been so long since Jaebum had sex but his body knows, not even from remembering but guided by raw instinct - knows to press against Bambam's back so the catboy drops his chest to the bed and holds his tail out to the side, Jaebum's cock sliding in even deeper with the next thrust. Like this, it doesn't take long before Bambam is coming so hard it's like he's shaking apart under Jaebum, Jaebum's name almost entirely lost in his moan but it's there, it's definitely there.

Jaebum moves to pull out but Bambam reaches back blindly for Jaebum's thigh, silently demanding for him to keep going. So Jaebum does, going and going to the sounds of Bambam's whimpers until he's spilling into the condom, his orgasm hitting so hard he almost blacks out. The comedown has his head spinning, and he barely manages to flop back against the bed vaguely vertically, fumbling to get the condom off with clumsy fingers. "Bambam?" he has to check, lifting his elbow for the catboy to settle against his side.

"Hyung," Bambam answers, pushing his face against Jaebum's neck. He sounds content, well-fucked, and snuggles close even though they're both messy.

Reassured, Jaebum lets himself fall asleep.

☼

When Jaebum squints against the glare of the sun the next morning, it's much too bright for it to be anywhere in time for him to get to his 8 AM class. A glance at his cell phone shows he's snoozed all three of his morning alarms and gone back to sleep, and it's already past noon, his next class in less than an hour. Still, he doesn't get up.

Bambam is asleep against him, one arm flung out across Jaebum's stomach and one knee hitched over Jaebum's thigh as if he attempted to get as much of his bare skin pressed up against Jaebum's in sleep. Jaebum raises a hand and starts carding it through Bambam's hair gently, noting that Bambam's body feels cooler than it has for days, and Bambam wakes a little at the touch. "Feels nice," he mumbles.

"Yeah?" Jaebum asks softly, letting his nails graze lightly against the base of Bambam's left ear. When Bambam purrs faintly, he does it again, this time more of a scratch and less of an accident, and is rewarded with a louder, more vigorous purr.

"Yeah," Bambam sighs happily.

They lie there together, the warmth of their bodies much more comfortable than any of these past few nights with each person in their respective bed, and Jaebum lets himself doze; if he wakes up, gets out of bed, and puts on his clothes, he might never get to come back to this. It feels like a dream, almost, enveloping the two of them and protecting them from the winter outside, from all of the things that tell Jaebum that maybe he didn't do the right thing. He bailed out on a dinner shift at the restaurant and might not get nearly as much in tips on a different shift, completely slept through his morning class, and seems pretty set to laze right through the next one. But he can't quite bring himself to dispel the dream, and do the right thing. This is the first time in days that he's gotten to touch and hold Bambam like this without feeling terrible about it. Jaebum deserves a moment to be selfish, right?

It doesn't matter in the end, though, because a few minutes later, Bambam's eyes fly open and he sits up abruptly, the sheets falling from his body. "Hyung!" he gasps. "It's Monday!"

"What about it?" Jaebum asks, giving into the inevitability of sitting up. He still tries to pull the blankets towards them, though, worried that Bambam will get chilly. Clothes are probably a good idea now, he decides sadly.

"Monday afternoon!" Bambam says, turning to him with wide, worried eyes and latching onto Jaebum's forearm. "Don't you have class? What do you do if you miss class?"

Jaebum laughs and pets his cheek, then laughs again at how Bambam is instantly distracted by the contact, his other hand coming up to hold Jaebum's in place. "It's okay, Bambam, it's not like it hasn't happened before. People skip class all the time. I'll just email my professor and see what I missed, so I can make it up."

"I feel bad though," Bambam says, the picture of remorse with his ears dropping and shoulders slumped. He lets Jaebum drop his hand but keeps hold of it, curling Jaebum's fingers around his own; for all of his regret, he is unenthusiastic at the prospect of Jaebum withdrawing from his hold, and it takes a reminder about Jaebum's afternoon class before Bambam slinks out of bed and lets Jaebum give him clothes to put on.

He's extra clingy, extra affectionate, following closely as Jaebum stops in the bathroom to try and wipe them down, and then into the kitchen where Jaebum throws together a quick lunch and quickly types out an apologetic email on his phone to his morning class professor as they eat. Even when Jaebum's doing the dishes, Bambam insists on staying close, even as he glances at Jaebum with trepidation as if Jaebum's going to tell him to stop.

Jaebum never does. Instead, he lets his touches linger on Bambam's hand and shoulder and back, trying to communicate through action that he's not going to cut him off again. By the time Jaebum gets his laptop and notebooks together for class, Bambam looks like he won't be able to let him go even though he's been insisting that Jaebum can't miss another class. "You'll be back soon?" he asks, not for the first time.

"Right away," Jaebum promises. "And I don't have work tonight."

Bambam looks even more distressed at the word 'work,' but he nods, putting on the best brave face he can muster; Jaebum can't help but find it adorable, as always. "Okay," Bambam says, pulling his hands away from Jaebum's sleeve and curling them into fists, as if he'll reach out again if he doesn't.

"See you in a few hours," Jaebum says, and impulsively leans forward to press a quick kiss to Bambam's forehead. This time, rather than at Bambam looking at him like the world is ending with every step Jaebum takes out the door, Jaebum gets to glance back at Bambam's surprised, pleased expression, little mouth rounding out into an 'o' as he registers what Jaebum did. It feels even better than Jaebum expected.

After that, they fall back into their normal routines, just as Jaebum - and, he can tell, Bambam - longed for. It's not perfect, not exactly the sweet and simple atmosphere they had before Bambam's heat, especially when there are moments when Bambam absently yawns and stretches his arms over his head and Jaebum vividly recalls that same strip of exposed skin marked up with the red imprints of his own fingers, gripping as he - nevermind. But it's still nice, still sweet, and Jaebum learns to be thankful.

He takes Jackson's advice, and buries himself in the thick legal jargon of hybrid laws. It's slow going, and most of what he reads isn't very useful, but Bambam back in his spot on his right side for his cat naps remind him why he's doing it in the first place. Asking Jinyoung for his help is inevitable, though.

"You want me to what?" Jinyoung asks in confusion when Jaebum eventually calls him, begging for a favor.

"Read through the hybrid laws with me," Jaebum repeats. "I'm not that good at this. It's really important though, I swear, or else I wouldn't ask. I know you have enough legal documents to read through."

"No, no, not that," Jinyoung says, and Jaebum can hear him pacing until Youngjae in the background tells him to stop it; Jinyoung tends to be a restless pacer, walking in random patterns throughout the rooms and pausing to touch things and putting them back in the wrong places. "I don't mind reading through laws for you or whatever, hyung. It's just, why those laws? Why hybrids?"

"Well, about that..." Jaebum says hesitantly, and Bambam shifts nervously beside him on the couch. He didn't call without asking for Bambam's permission to tell Jinyoung about him, with copious reassurances that Jinyoung is Jaebum's best friend and has been for years, and would never be cruel to him. Jaebum still doesn't know what has Bambam so wary about humans, but he never presses.

"Wait," Jinyoung cuts him off, "does this have to do with asking for Jackson's number? Like two weeks ago?"

Jaebum laughs, nervously. "You've always had good memory."

"Oh my god," Jinyoung says. "Jaebum hyung, what the hell. A catboy, really?"

Beside him, Bambam shivers anxiously, and Jaebum is reaching up to pet him without even thinking about it. "It just kind of happened," Jaebum says. "He's really great, though. Nothing like the fashion accessory people like to market catboys as, and he's not wild, or unmanageable, or anything like that."

"You like him, don't you?" Jinyoung yells, and Bambam squeaks in surprise, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "I can tell from the way you talk about him, Im Jaebum!"

"Jinyoung!" Jaebum groans. It's been obvious enough, he thinks, but leave it to Jinyoung to throw it all into the open with reckless abandon and run away so he doesn't have to deal with the awkward aftermath. He never changes.

"Oh, he can hear me, can't he," Jinyoung whispers. He laughs at Jaebum's sigh and barrels on, back at normal volume. "So when do I get to meet him? You can't just get yourself a nice, cute catboy and keep him from your best friend."

Jaebum meets Bambam's gaze, checking with him, and when Bambam nods, he says, "Whenever is fine. You're the one with the car, though."

"You mean I can come over to see you and your catboy when I want?" Jinyoung asks, delighted.

This time, both of them flush at Jinyoung's wording, and Jaebum hurries to add, "His name is Bambam, Jinyoung. And yeah, sure, just give me a head's up before you get here."

"Okay, can do!" Jinyoung says cheerfully. "And by the way, feel free to email me those laws. I'm sure I can look through them for you if you let me know what you're looking for."

"You're the best," Jaebum says in relief, and rolls his eyes when Jinyoung replies with a cheeky "I know I am!" before hanging up.

He cashes in his surprise visit a couple days later, on Saturday, when Jaebum and Bambam are on the couch as Jaebum finishes an assignment, the television playing on some tourism and culture channel Bambam has taken a liking to. Jinyoung never returned his copy of their apartment key, so he goes ahead and lets himself in, stumbling upon the two of them in their usual evening positions: Jaebum with his laptop on his lap but scooted to one side so there's room for Bambam to rest his head on his thigh. The sound of a key in the front door's lock has Bambam snapping his head up to stare at the door, tail fluffing up in fear, and Jaebum soothes him with a hand on his side. "Though you were going to give me a head's up," he calls.

"I did," Jinyoung protests, kicking his shoes off and dropping his jacket on one of the kitchen chairs, like he's never left. He notices Bambam tucked up against Jaebum's side with interest, raising his eyebrows. "Wow, aren't you two comfortable."

"Texting me while you're in the elevator, on the way up, isn't really much of a head's up," Jaebum says drily. He chooses to ignore Jinyoung's second remark, but can tell Bambam heard it when he fidgets and blushes.

"Yeah, it is," Jinyoung says, pouting at him, and Jaebum rolls his eyes at Jinyoung's aegyo. He perches on the arm of the couch next to Jaebum, and Jaebum feels a rush of relief and gratitude for his best friend when he directly addresses Bambam with the usual "Hi! I'm Jinyoung, it's really nice to meet you!" and quick bow he greets everyone else with. It looks like Jaebum's irrational misgivings were useless after all.

"N-Nice to meet you, too," Bambam manages to reply, trying to make himself small under Jinyoung's interested gaze, huddling closer to Jaebum. He looks up at Jinyoung in shock when Jinyoung holds a hand out for him to shake, but stretches out a hand in return before Jaebum can step in to save him from the situation. The handshake is short, but warmer than anyone seems to expect - it's nice.

After introductions, things go by a lot more easily, and Jinyoung settles in on Jaebum's other side, peering at the pages of hybrid laws Jaebum has been skimming through for the past few days. "This is nothing," he says when Jaebum tells him which pages he has yet to read through, propping his chin on Jaebum's shoulder. "You should see the stuff I have to research for class."

Jaebum laughs and shrugs his shoulder to knock Jinyoung off. "No need to boast, Jinyoung, we aren't all law students here."

"You'd be stranded without me," Jinyoung sniffs, settling back onto Jaebum's shoulder. When Jaebum scoots over to accommodate Jinyoung in his space, the movement jostles Bambam a little, and the catboy flicks his ear restlessly. Jaebum apologizes with a soft touch to the back of Bambam's neck, feeling the tension in the muscle, and Jinyoung watches the entire exchange with knowing eyes. He doesn't say anything, at least, so Jaebum decides he can tolerate keeping Jinyoung around for dinner.

"I've missed your cooking very much," Jinyoung pronounces solemnly towards the end of the meal, which was filled mostly with Jinyoung's chatter as they caught up on their lives. "No one makes jjigae quite like you, Jaebumie hyung."

"You can cook fine on your own," Jaebum reminds him, taking his and Bambam's bowls to the sink when he sees Bambam is done and doesn't want more.

"Yeah, but sometimes I get lazy and Youngjae is hopeless in the kitchen. He can't even peel apples. I don't know how he managed to survive on his own before we were roommates," Jinyoung whines. "We keep getting take-out at the restaurant you work at, you got me hooked. The take-out line is always so long!"

Jaebum cuffs the side of his head lightly on the way back to the table. "As if I'm going to tell you to stop buying from us, then!" he says, glad to hear the restaurant is doing well.

When it starts getting late, Jinyoung gets ready to go, bemoaning his morning class the next day but laughing when he finds out that Jaebum has two this year. "You're hopeless in the mornings, hyung," he says, patting Jaebum on the arm. "I bet he's a terror to wake up, huh, Bambam?"

Jumping a bit at being addressed, Bambam stutters, "H-Hyung isn't that bad."

"He's just being nice," Jinyoung tells Jaebum, who shoves Jinyoung towards the door. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving! But don't be a stranger, Jaebum hyung. You gotta come party before the guys leave again, they're only in the area for so long these days."

"Yeah, yeah, next time. Let me know when you all get together again," Jaebum says to pacify him. "But no promises I'll go, I might have work."

"You might have Bambam to keep you at home, right?" Jinyoung teases, and ducks out of the door before Jaebum can grab him in time to wrestle him into a headlock.

The door shuts behind Jinyoung, and Jaebum can see Bambam physically relax, shoulders dropping as he sighs to himself. "Sorry," Jaebum says, and Bambam's head snaps back up, ears up and alert, at the sound of his voice. He calms a little again when Jaebum reaches out and touches him, just one hand against his shoulder enough to do the trick. "I know Jinyoung is kind of overwhelming, the first few times you meet him."

"It's okay," Bambam says earnestly. "He's your best friend. I liked him."

Jaebum cracks a smile at that. "Yeah, he means a lot to me. And he's going to be a real help with the laws."

Bambam nods. Jaebum doesn't really know how much Bambam understands about what he, and now Jinyoung, are doing; his reading ability is rudimentary still, though Jaebum is always happy to help him figure out particularly difficult words, and Jaebum hasn't really sat down and told him what he's looking for. He doesn't know if they're ready for that yet - ready for Bambam to know that Jaebum's looking for a clause that'll enable him to shift ownership of a hybrid in a way other than through a formal purchase. Because Bambam and all other catboys are living creatures with human consciousnesses, Jaebum is banking on the possibility that a law has been made to ensure their well-beings even if they have poor owners.

Even now, Bambam has yet to tell Jaebum anything more about his past life and his owner. They're things that make him anxious, sometimes even physically agitated, Jaebum knows, and he doesn't want to push Bambam into thinking about painful things especially when it's not really his business. All he knows is that Bambam's new life - his life with Jaebum - is better than it was before, and that's more than enough reason for him to keep searching through the hybrid laws. If Bambam wants to tell him anything, then he will, on his own terms.

A few days later, each one in between filled with a flurry of texts with Jinyoung as their search is as futile as ever, Jaebum takes Bambam with him during one of his shifts at the family restaurant after he gets the okay from his boss. He wants to share his life with Bambam, and when Bambam expresses the wish to go with him and see what Jaebum's work is like, Jaebum can hardly turn him down. He knows that the long hours at home by himself are making Bambam lonely, even if he'll never complain about it.

"Jaebum is here!" Younghyun shouts as Jaebum opens the back door into the kitchens, Bambam huddled behind him in one of Jaebum's coats.

"Wow, you guys should welcome me to work like this every day," Jaebum jokes at the sight of practically the entire kitchen staff and waitstaff waiting for them. There aren't really that many of them, since the restaurant is a small family business in the grand scheme of things, but gathering in one place makes them look like an impressively large group. "Makes me feel special."

"Oh, please," Jia, one of the waitresses, says. "The boss let it slip that you were bringing someone special to work today, and everyone thought you'd be bringing a girlfriend. I guess we were all wrong, though."

Jaebum laughs. "Sorry to disappoint. Everyone, this is Bambam. And yes, he's a catboy."

"Hi," Bambam tries to say, his voice a near-whisper from nerves, and he takes in everyone's curious faces and the busy kitchen around him. He sticks close to Jaebum, almost as if Jaebum is his shield from all these strangers.

"Oh, he's so cute!" Fei whispers from beside Jia, stepping forward towards Bambam. He trembles but doesn't back away, and she apologizes immediately and doesn't come any closer, noticing that he's skittish.

It takes some time, but soon Bambam relaxes a bit and everyone is cooing and exclaiming how precious and small and adorable Bambam is, and how lovely his cat ears are, and how polite and sweet he is. Everyone on staff has never seen a catboy up close before, and they treat Bambam like a celebrity, showing him around and offering him the best treats. The boss's wife adores him immediately, doting on him, and even the boss is there with fond eyes.

Jaebum watches from the side, half-worrying and half-enjoying it; Bambam is obviously overwhelmed by so much praise all at once, but it seems like he's never had so many people be so nice to him before and Jaebum doesn't want to jerk him out of that too quickly. Bambam is that lovely, and Jaebum wants him to feel that truth rather than smother him with unfounded concern. He throws himself into working as a distraction, smiles at Bambam when he notices the catboy sitting with the boss's wife behind the cashier, and lets the warm, welcoming atmosphere of the family restaurant wrap around him like always. He loves this place, and remembers that every time.

At one point, Youngjae drops by for his take-out and Jaebum can't help but burst out laughing as he passes the food to him. "Ugh," Youngjae says when he realizes it's Jaebum, "don't talk to me, hyung, Jinyoung hyung has me coming all the way to this side of town because he says no one makes his favorites as well as the cooks do here."

"But it's true, you can't deny it," Jaebum says smugly, and accepts Youngjae's money, ringing up the purchase.

"I can try to deny it for the sake of my wallet," Youngjae says to him sadly.

Jaebum laughs and says goodbye, telling him to pass on a greeting to Jinyoung. He works until closing, and is finishing up the register, Bambam in the back of the shop watching the cooks close down their stations, when Jia approaches him. "Yo, Jaebum," she says.

"Hey, Jia noona," he says, glancing up from the handful of nickels he's counting. "What's up?

"So I've been wondering," she says conversationally, and Jaebum eyes her. Those words are never a good sign, especially out of her mouth. "What's the deal between you and Bambam?"

"The deal?" he echos, trying to maintain composure. He moves on to counting the dimes.

She nudges him with her hip, knocking him a little off balance and ignoring his protests. "Yeah, the deal. What's the relationship between you two? I've never seen you look at anyone like that, and I remember when you took old girlfriends on dates. This is a whole new ball game, Jaebum, and I don't mean just for your sexuality. Or the fact that he's a hybrid, that doesn't matter."

"I - I'm not looking at him differently," Jaebum mutters, self-conscious. "At least not on purpose."

Jia laughs and rolls her eyes, confident with the years that they've known each other backing her up. "It's not something you do on purpose, you knucklehead. It's just how it is."

"He... He means a lot to me," Jaebum offers weakly. "Like Jinyoung would. Or you or Fei noona or anyone."

"Liar," Jia says, and puts the quarters in his hands. "He's special, isn't he."

Jaebum gives her a long-suffering look and counts the quarters. "If you know already, then why bother me about it?" he complains, letting himself be petulant for once. He and Jia knew each other back in high school, when she tutored him in biology, and somehow ended up as co-workers, and she never passes up an opportunity to tease or nag him. Their camaraderie is nice, though - gives him a chance to briefly be the type of immature he normally can't let himself be around anyone else, even Jinyoung. Especially Bambam.

"Sometimes you have to say it out loud to someone else before you admit it," she says. "You're stubborn like that, Jaebum. Strong and smart, but you get stubborn."

"I already know he's special to me, noona," Jaebum says quietly.

Jia smiles at him, kinder than usual but no less genuine. "Words are powerful, more so than you give them credit for. Even though you're a poli sci major. Now go back to Bambam, I can finish up here. I can tell your mind is more in the kitchens than with me."

"That obvious?" he laughs, embarrassed, and she smirks at him. She's right, though, so he gives her the pennies he had only begun counting and goes back to the kitchens to find Bambam waiting for him.

"Jaebum hyung!" Bambam cries when Jaebum is in sight. He seems like he wants to throw himself into Jaebum's arms, but his hands are full, laden with the nicest catboy treats Jaebum knows the boss's wife has stashed away.

"I'm right here," Jaebum says, petting Bambam's hair for a brief moment and rolling his eyes when the staff members still present 'oooh' quietly at them. Is he that obvious? "You ready to go home?"

Bambam nods eagerly, and Jaebum takes some of the treats off his hands so he doesn't have to carry so much. "Thanks, everyone," he calls on the way out, letting Bambam go first.

"Bring Bambam back sometime soon," they all chorus back. Jaebum laughs and promises to, Bambam turning around to wave happily.

They take the walk through the park like Jaebum always does, and despite how there isn't much snow on the ground, there's still a chilly nip in the air that has Jaebum grateful he found the coat for Bambam. "Not too cold?" he checks anyways.

"I'm fine," Bambam says. He gives Jaebum a grin, the most relaxed and happy one yet, and Jaebum can't help but feel a warm flutter of affection at that expression. Seeing Bambam come further out of his shell is always a good thing. It seems like only now, once it's starting to fade away, does Jaebum really start to realize how terrified Bambam used to be.

When they walk by the bus stop where everything began, two and a half weeks ago, Bambam stops in his tracks. "Is this...?" he asks, eyes huge as he takes in the plastic walls, the snow beginning to pile on the empty seats. It's too late for anyone to be waiting for the buses - just like it was on that night.

Jaebum steps up beside him, taking in the sight as well. "Yeah," he says quietly, trying not to imagine what would've happened if he hadn't covered that dinner shift. "Right here."

"I could've frozen to death," Bambam mumbles, staring as if transfixed. He moves forward and Jaebum lets him, watching anxiously as Bambam runs his bare fingertips over the snow on the seat he had taken before. There isn't much, but with that snowstorm, it wouldn't have been so benign.

"You okay?" Jaebum finally asks.

"Yeah - yeah," Bambam says, shaking his head as if he's trying to get water out of his ears, clear his thoughts a little. For the rest of the walk home, he's silent and pensive, the light-hearted mood from hanging out with the staff of the family restaurant now gone, and Jaebum just tries to give him his space.

They get ready for bed quietly, in their own respective spaces. Jaebum brushes his teeth in his own bathroom, the one where he gave Bambam that bath only days ago, and wonders why he can't seem to get this thing right. Ever since the heat, both of them have been holding each other at an arm's length apart for anything more than an innocent touch or cuddle, with the exception of the forehead kiss Jaebum couldn't resist giving, and that makes sense. That's natural after what they did. He's just trying so hard to make sure Bambam is happy in every way, he really is. But the two of them are still a ways from perfect, there's still so much that Bambam still won't tell him, and Jaebum can't figure out how to bridge the gap and make things better. Make things the best he can.

No use freaking out about it in his own head, though. Jaebum washes his face briskly, the water coming out of the tap too cold, and changes into his usual tank top and sweatpants for pajamas. By the time he stops by - like he always does - in the doorway of Bambam's room, the catboy is already done washing up, the tips of his black and pink hair wet, and has already settled into his nest. "Hey, you," he says.

Bambam looks up at him, a little startled and distracted, and beams at him, in a pale imitation of his usual self. "Hyung!"

Jaebum wants to go over there, stroke Bambam's face and neck lightly until he knows for sure that Bambam will be all right, but he knows he can't. Instead, he just says, "Night," smiles at Bambam's answering "Good night," and goes back to his own room. Their lines remain neat and untouched.

part four