Essay - Choice (copied from my other acct.)
Choice - The mental process of thinking involved with the process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them for action.
Selfish - The condition of habitually putting one's desires and interests above those of all others.
There is a letter in the mailbox.
Do you get the letter as you walk by, do you go inside and put your things down, and then go back to retrieve your mail. If you do get the letter, do you read it right now, or wait until you have a moment and can curl up in a nice chair, with a good cup of tea to savor and enjoy the experience. If you walk into your house, and see that you have several messages on the answering machine, do you put the letter aside and check the messages, or do you decide that they can wait and go read your letter first.
The choices we can make at any given time are endless, and yet each day we endeavor to make the right ones, or at least make the choices that best suit us and our needs. Sometimes that choice made is only going to directly affect you, so the weight of that choice isn’t as important in the grand scheme of things. Other times, however, a single choice can create a cascade of repercussions that affect the other people in your life for years to come.
How do we make these choices, and is it selfish to choose an outcome that greatly benefits you whether it does others or not? What is the litmus test for selfishness in choice?
Everyone has moments of selfishness, those times where you want everything to be about you, and only you. Some of us wallow in it when we're beaten down by life or loss. Others of us use it to get our way instead of having to do something we dislike-- much like a child who doesn't want to do his/her chores, or hordes the toy ball because sharing just isn't an option. Everyone has experienced it either by their own actions or by witnessing the actions of others.
I have had selfish moments. I have chosen to do something for me, which helps me and only me. I have shirked a responsibility in order to go play outside in the sunshine after a long winter, or spent money I shouldn’t have on a book I’ve wanted, instead of paying a bill. I moved 900 miles from home, because I needed a change of pace, understanding fully that my move was going to effect others, but doing it anyway because I had to be selfish and take care of me.
Sometimes, it’s so simple, that we need to take a break and demand that someone else do the cooking, cleaning, repairing. We have to take professional hat off and give it to another, so that we can have a 'sanity check.' I struggle everyday with the plan to quit my retail job and start working full time as a freelance writer/editor. Am I being selfish to want to do what I love for a living? Will this decision hurt those I care about, or in the end will it help?
It is when this selfishness takes over a person’s life, and becomes the baseline for their personality that things get murky. I do not understand how people can be so certain that their way, is the only way, and no matter who is hurt by those actions, still find themselves just and good.
Every action we make as human beings in society today carries with it repercussions that can ripple outward until they effect so many people you can't count the numbers. If you choose to do something, you have to consider the consequences. Even the smallest choice we make can have long lasting repercussions upon multiple people.
A couple of years ago, I was walking down the street, angry at the world, certain that I would have to move back to Georgia, because I just couldn’t handle things here in Michigan much longer. I was begging for a fight and the first friends I saw were probably going to be the target. Instead, a little girl walking down the street with her mother holding a bouquet of flowers smiled at me, walked over and handed me a daisy from the bouquet.
I wasn’t angry anymore. I didn’t pick a fight with anyone, I am still in Michigan, and I am loved for who I am and know it. Would I still be here if that sweet little girl hadn’t reminded me that something as simple as a smile and poesy could change our perspective? Probably, but maybe not, I’ll never know. Did it remind me that even the smallest action can create a cascade of change?
Yes.
Now, that doesn't mean that we constantly have to monitor what we say or do, to an extreme degree of micromanaging, but perhaps being more aware of this, might help us all. Perhaps knowing, admitting, that just because you want something so desperately that you can barely wait to experience it, doesn't mean you should go after it, yet. Perhaps the best thing you can do, the less selfish thing, would be to wait, do things in the right order, understand that other people are affected by the decisions and choices we make. Maybe we should put someone other than ourselves first, because one day someone is going to have a moment of selfishness and make a choice that could change our lives, too.
The phone is ringing…
Selfish - The condition of habitually putting one's desires and interests above those of all others.
There is a letter in the mailbox.
Do you get the letter as you walk by, do you go inside and put your things down, and then go back to retrieve your mail. If you do get the letter, do you read it right now, or wait until you have a moment and can curl up in a nice chair, with a good cup of tea to savor and enjoy the experience. If you walk into your house, and see that you have several messages on the answering machine, do you put the letter aside and check the messages, or do you decide that they can wait and go read your letter first.
The choices we can make at any given time are endless, and yet each day we endeavor to make the right ones, or at least make the choices that best suit us and our needs. Sometimes that choice made is only going to directly affect you, so the weight of that choice isn’t as important in the grand scheme of things. Other times, however, a single choice can create a cascade of repercussions that affect the other people in your life for years to come.
How do we make these choices, and is it selfish to choose an outcome that greatly benefits you whether it does others or not? What is the litmus test for selfishness in choice?
Everyone has moments of selfishness, those times where you want everything to be about you, and only you. Some of us wallow in it when we're beaten down by life or loss. Others of us use it to get our way instead of having to do something we dislike-- much like a child who doesn't want to do his/her chores, or hordes the toy ball because sharing just isn't an option. Everyone has experienced it either by their own actions or by witnessing the actions of others.
I have had selfish moments. I have chosen to do something for me, which helps me and only me. I have shirked a responsibility in order to go play outside in the sunshine after a long winter, or spent money I shouldn’t have on a book I’ve wanted, instead of paying a bill. I moved 900 miles from home, because I needed a change of pace, understanding fully that my move was going to effect others, but doing it anyway because I had to be selfish and take care of me.
Sometimes, it’s so simple, that we need to take a break and demand that someone else do the cooking, cleaning, repairing. We have to take professional hat off and give it to another, so that we can have a 'sanity check.' I struggle everyday with the plan to quit my retail job and start working full time as a freelance writer/editor. Am I being selfish to want to do what I love for a living? Will this decision hurt those I care about, or in the end will it help?
It is when this selfishness takes over a person’s life, and becomes the baseline for their personality that things get murky. I do not understand how people can be so certain that their way, is the only way, and no matter who is hurt by those actions, still find themselves just and good.
Every action we make as human beings in society today carries with it repercussions that can ripple outward until they effect so many people you can't count the numbers. If you choose to do something, you have to consider the consequences. Even the smallest choice we make can have long lasting repercussions upon multiple people.
A couple of years ago, I was walking down the street, angry at the world, certain that I would have to move back to Georgia, because I just couldn’t handle things here in Michigan much longer. I was begging for a fight and the first friends I saw were probably going to be the target. Instead, a little girl walking down the street with her mother holding a bouquet of flowers smiled at me, walked over and handed me a daisy from the bouquet.
I wasn’t angry anymore. I didn’t pick a fight with anyone, I am still in Michigan, and I am loved for who I am and know it. Would I still be here if that sweet little girl hadn’t reminded me that something as simple as a smile and poesy could change our perspective? Probably, but maybe not, I’ll never know. Did it remind me that even the smallest action can create a cascade of change?
Yes.
Now, that doesn't mean that we constantly have to monitor what we say or do, to an extreme degree of micromanaging, but perhaps being more aware of this, might help us all. Perhaps knowing, admitting, that just because you want something so desperately that you can barely wait to experience it, doesn't mean you should go after it, yet. Perhaps the best thing you can do, the less selfish thing, would be to wait, do things in the right order, understand that other people are affected by the decisions and choices we make. Maybe we should put someone other than ourselves first, because one day someone is going to have a moment of selfishness and make a choice that could change our lives, too.
The phone is ringing…