Comments | gallovincent: one: bent

gallovincent

one: bent

Feb 14, 2005 00:47

Apparently. One cigarette subtracts five minutes from the end of your life. It's either the Surgeon General Nazi Police Greedhead tightening the reigns, or the fat mushroom slap of destiny hurling itself down and rippling into the lives of millions. Sans cigarettes, you will live to be two hundred years old, your grandchildren will murder, pillage ( Read more... )

Comments 18

sbuscemi February 14 2005, 01:40:23 UTC

A pack a day keeps the doctor away, I always hated hospitals anyway. What's your brand, Cunt?

gallovincent February 14 2005, 01:48:30 UTC

I'll tell you, since I have no disrespect for men who have taken knives to the face. Antiseptic brings me closer to God.

bridget_h February 14 2005, 01:58:20 UTC

*and rotten tomatoes with Bridget Hall.

Brown is an awful color on you. Or anyone for that matter.

gallovincent February 14 2005, 02:27:32 UTC

When did we agree to that? Keep your nose where it belongs, the world doesn't need another sad, dilapidated sack of bones trying to look interesting. I'm a very busy man and Important People book months in advance just to have my face light up a room.

That's why they pay you to keep your mouth shut. Go get your purse, I'm picking you up in my Cadillac in ten minutes, but we're going to hit a petting zoo and stain everything we can in blood.

bridget_h February 14 2005, 02:57:08 UTC

Oh Vincent, you are too sweet. Based on the amount of time you spend with me, it looks like your planner isn't that full. You shouldn't have taken a piss all over Leonardo Dicaprio's rose bush.

You should have let me do it.

HA! You pay me to keep talking. It's either me or Donatella Versace's daughter. And she's always free. Okay. I'll wear white.

gallovincent February 14 2005, 03:33:33 UTC

It isn't his rose bush, it's his gardener's. He probably doesn't know it exists, busy sitting in front of a mirror at his pre-pubescent face all day. I'm going to uproot it and plant it in his toilet.

You can do fucking anything, Bridget Hall.

It's an investment that pays for itself.

pj__harvey February 14 2005, 03:16:57 UTC

I like you as well. Welcome back.

gallovincent February 14 2005, 03:34:49 UTC

I'm not surprised. Come over here, I have an important question to pop.

pj__harvey February 14 2005, 03:44:20 UTC

A question to pop, as in about soda or cherries or bubbles?

gallovincent February 14 2005, 03:50:22 UTC

Remember that time you brought tea into my home?

naomiwatts February 14 2005, 04:08:08 UTC

Holy fuck, it's like the fucking Second Coming.

gallovincent February 14 2005, 12:26:57 UTC

It's bigger than the fucking Second Coming. How dare you compare me to something so tattered and shrouded in hypocrisy. I'm better looking than Jesus. My heaven isn't inclusive, either.

jeremy_sisto February 14 2005, 18:45:15 UTC

I'm torn between the desire to welcome you and the knowledge that I can't think of a single comment that will not leave me open to mockery.

gallovincent February 15 2005, 14:32:15 UTC

It's good to have a little from both columns. Mockery brings us closer together. Mockery is a beautiful gift from God. How much did those communist pot-smokers in PR pay you to show your ass in that sad excuse for a sitcom Six Feet Under? I need to know for my tax returns.

jeremy_sisto February 15 2005, 18:01:07 UTC

I'm flattered that you were looking at my ass, Vince.

gallovincent February 16 2005, 00:37:14 UTC

You would be. Did you think you were "tittilating"? Someone's ass has got to fill those lonely parts where all I've got is the flickering of a television screen and only one supermodel to swallow my love chunder.