List for a Future Me I: Romantic Advice from a Lost and Solemn Lover
Romance isn't complicated, it's just difficult.
-Go out often, or at the very least make the effort. Even if you're busy, that you even tried to work it in means something. And even if it's not inventive, something at all is better than nothing.
-See her, support her. If she's sick, make her soup. She'd do the same for you, and you know it. (Or, even if she wouldn't, she'll appreciate the soup.) If she's having a hard time, spend time with her. You don't have to be a superhero, just be there.
-Surprise her, or at least do your best. Even if it's not surprising, she'll appreciate the effort. And when she says something like "Before we break up, we should..." that doesn't mean "in several years", it means ASAP. She'll appreciate the urgency and importance you treat her with.
-Compliment her often. Even when she tells you she doesn't believe you, inside she's glowing.
-Reserve the word "love", but don't withhold it, because it does happen, and it is meaningful. See if you can't engineer intermediate phrases to ease you two from 'not love' to 'in love.'
-Put however much feels right into the relationship. Love makes you dumb, but do what you can to keep your head above the water: if you're head-over-heels for her, do your damnest to show her the time of her life on a regular basis, and if not, then just do what feels comfortable, because any more or less is foolish on your part and misleading to hers.
-If you're having problems, bring them up. Never let them fester.
-If you can't imagine life without her, it's either time to get hitched or pull back. Assume the latter.
-Don't rush into relationships. There's nothing wrong with waiting.
-She (or he) likes you for you, so don't try to be anyone but you.
-Have faith, but don't be foolish.
-Pursue what satisfies, but be prepared for the consequences.
-Never fear. Life is long and love is often, so do your best in the here and now.
-Go out often, or at the very least make the effort. Even if you're busy, that you even tried to work it in means something. And even if it's not inventive, something at all is better than nothing.
-See her, support her. If she's sick, make her soup. She'd do the same for you, and you know it. (Or, even if she wouldn't, she'll appreciate the soup.) If she's having a hard time, spend time with her. You don't have to be a superhero, just be there.
-Surprise her, or at least do your best. Even if it's not surprising, she'll appreciate the effort. And when she says something like "Before we break up, we should..." that doesn't mean "in several years", it means ASAP. She'll appreciate the urgency and importance you treat her with.
-Compliment her often. Even when she tells you she doesn't believe you, inside she's glowing.
-Reserve the word "love", but don't withhold it, because it does happen, and it is meaningful. See if you can't engineer intermediate phrases to ease you two from 'not love' to 'in love.'
-Put however much feels right into the relationship. Love makes you dumb, but do what you can to keep your head above the water: if you're head-over-heels for her, do your damnest to show her the time of her life on a regular basis, and if not, then just do what feels comfortable, because any more or less is foolish on your part and misleading to hers.
-If you're having problems, bring them up. Never let them fester.
-If you can't imagine life without her, it's either time to get hitched or pull back. Assume the latter.
-Don't rush into relationships. There's nothing wrong with waiting.
-She (or he) likes you for you, so don't try to be anyone but you.
-Have faith, but don't be foolish.
-Pursue what satisfies, but be prepared for the consequences.
-Never fear. Life is long and love is often, so do your best in the here and now.