1: video.
[It's a video! First off of a very large eye, which slowly moves back until Stein's entire face is visible, dangling cigarette and all. He's wearing a disturbingly large grin.]
Hey, this thing is great. Am I broadcasting? The technology is impressive, I'll admit that much, but the welcoming committee could use some work. They're terribly rude and not very handsome, either. Furthermore, a place where you have to fill out forms in triplicate to buy cigarettes isn't a place worth living in! [He even sticks his face back into the camera so that only his eye is visible for that announcement because it's a very important point. But he jerks back to a more visible position quickly enough.]
But let me cut to the important part. My name is Doctor Stein and I am a scientist first and foremost, so just point me to the nearest empty lab and I'll take things from there. Surely someone has a suggestion better than filling out seventeen forms.
[He puts his hand over the camera like he's about to turn it off, but changes his mind at the last second and practically leers out at all of you.]
Oh, I almost forgot. I can't wait to get to know all of you--really, all of you--in the most intimate way possible, so volunteer test subjects can just let me know what time would be best for you. This is going to be a great experiment, I can tell already, so let's get started as soon as possible!
[Did that make any sense at all? No? Too bad, because Stein's already stopped the video.]
Hey, this thing is great. Am I broadcasting? The technology is impressive, I'll admit that much, but the welcoming committee could use some work. They're terribly rude and not very handsome, either. Furthermore, a place where you have to fill out forms in triplicate to buy cigarettes isn't a place worth living in! [He even sticks his face back into the camera so that only his eye is visible for that announcement because it's a very important point. But he jerks back to a more visible position quickly enough.]
But let me cut to the important part. My name is Doctor Stein and I am a scientist first and foremost, so just point me to the nearest empty lab and I'll take things from there. Surely someone has a suggestion better than filling out seventeen forms.
[He puts his hand over the camera like he's about to turn it off, but changes his mind at the last second and practically leers out at all of you.]
Oh, I almost forgot. I can't wait to get to know all of you--really, all of you--in the most intimate way possible, so volunteer test subjects can just let me know what time would be best for you. This is going to be a great experiment, I can tell already, so let's get started as soon as possible!
[Did that make any sense at all? No? Too bad, because Stein's already stopped the video.]