There's probably a reason why teachers are underpaid [video]
[Check it out guys, we're on a playground!! And there's a circle of kids crowding around a couple other kids over by the swing set! And for some reason, grubby little blue fingers smudge over the camera from time to time. Looks like some brat got a hold of the teacher's guide. This always seems to happen when someone just happens to be teaching snotty little brats for the month, huh?
Well anyway, that crowd of kids is getting pretty rowdy. There's a lot of shouting and jumping and yelling. the crowd of kids shifts suddenly when a skinny, nerdy looking human kid in glasses is shoved to the ground. Right on his ass is a fat, purple cyclops alien kid that's easily twice the glasses kid's height and weight. This kid yanks the nerdy human kid up by the arm and punches him sloppily in the head while the crowd of children yell and cheer and do whatever it is that kids do when people fight on the playground. Human kid's glasses are knocked to the ground and he's crying like he's getting beat up by a fat kid. Which he is.
It's right about here that another kid comes running onto the screen, pointing at the crowd and looking back at who can only be the teacher (who is still off screen), yelling stuff like "MIKEY'S FIGHTING AGAIN TEACHER" and other such tattle tale prattle. When the teacher finally does come on screen, he doesn't seem too concerned as he strolls casually over to the crowd of children. They quickly disperse, leaving the two fighting children sitting in the middle of the play ground. The bully lets the nerd go, and the nerd runs to the teacher crying.]
Now, just what do you kids think you're doing over here? You're making an awful lot of racket, y'know.
T-teacher-! Mikey p-punched me and pushed me and punched me again-!
[Kamui sighs and crosses his arms, looking entirely unamused.]
This is the third time you've complained about being picked on, Marvin. Rather than allowing yourself to be bullied and crying about it, why don't you work on getting a little stronger.
B-but teacher...
[Kamui holds up a finger, and the kid shuts his mouth. He's still sniffling, but he seems to be making an effort not to cry any more. Good on you, kid!] What did I just say? You're not gonna get any stronger by running your mouth. Run fifty laps around the school before you go home today.
B-but-
If you complain, I'll add another fifty laps.
[the skinny little alien kid pouts, but doesn't argue. Kamui turns to the bully, still smiling his usual pretendy nice guy smile (tm)]
As for you, Mikey~ You like to fight, do you?
[Mikey nods excitedly, kind of grinning at the fact that the poor little nerd got in trouble for being a sissy. This is the coolest teacher ever!]
I see~! Would you mind telling me why you decided to pick a fight with Marvin here?
[Little Mikey puffs out his chest, looking SO PROUD OF HIMSELF]
Because he's a wuss! And I was showin' him that I'm stronger than him! So he better not mess with me, yeah?
Yes, he certainly is a wuss, isn't he. But you know, [Kamui plops his hand down on Mikey's head, still smiling] If you keep picking fights with people who are weaker than you, you're only going to look like a big wuss yourself, y'know? You can't prove that you're strong if you just beat up on weaklings, right?
[Oh ho ho, little Mikey no longer looks too proud of himself. He's looking kind of confused now]
B-but...I am strong!
Ooooh~? [And naturally Kamui's still smiling] Well, since you're so strong, you get to run two hundred laps around the school for starting a fight. And you're not going home until you're finished. Understand~?
Huuuuuh!? That's not fair!
It's not~? Well, I guess I'm underestimating you, huh? In that case, four hundred laps for the tough guy!
BUT-!
Do you wanna go for more? I can make it five hundred laps~!
N-no...
No what~?
No sir.
Much better. Well, better hop to it, then!
[little Mikey turns to start jogging, grumbling something under his breath too quietly for the guide to pick up. Though, it certainly seems like Kamui heard it]
Oh! Mikey~ wait just a moment!
[Mikey stops and turns back to Kamui, who has gone off screen. When he returns, he drops a pretty large, heavy looking rock in his hands. And yes, he's still smiling.]
You'll be carrying this with you the first two hundred laps. Go.
[Mikey stares at Kamui for a few seconds like he's insane (because he is) before grunting and running off. Kamui just waves after him, and then turns back to the rest of the kids]
Well! We're all going to be on our best behavior from now on, right kids~?
[And now these children are full of kid!horror. END FEEDO]
Well anyway, that crowd of kids is getting pretty rowdy. There's a lot of shouting and jumping and yelling. the crowd of kids shifts suddenly when a skinny, nerdy looking human kid in glasses is shoved to the ground. Right on his ass is a fat, purple cyclops alien kid that's easily twice the glasses kid's height and weight. This kid yanks the nerdy human kid up by the arm and punches him sloppily in the head while the crowd of children yell and cheer and do whatever it is that kids do when people fight on the playground. Human kid's glasses are knocked to the ground and he's crying like he's getting beat up by a fat kid. Which he is.
It's right about here that another kid comes running onto the screen, pointing at the crowd and looking back at who can only be the teacher (who is still off screen), yelling stuff like "MIKEY'S FIGHTING AGAIN TEACHER" and other such tattle tale prattle. When the teacher finally does come on screen, he doesn't seem too concerned as he strolls casually over to the crowd of children. They quickly disperse, leaving the two fighting children sitting in the middle of the play ground. The bully lets the nerd go, and the nerd runs to the teacher crying.]
Now, just what do you kids think you're doing over here? You're making an awful lot of racket, y'know.
T-teacher-! Mikey p-punched me and pushed me and punched me again-!
[Kamui sighs and crosses his arms, looking entirely unamused.]
This is the third time you've complained about being picked on, Marvin. Rather than allowing yourself to be bullied and crying about it, why don't you work on getting a little stronger.
B-but teacher...
[Kamui holds up a finger, and the kid shuts his mouth. He's still sniffling, but he seems to be making an effort not to cry any more. Good on you, kid!] What did I just say? You're not gonna get any stronger by running your mouth. Run fifty laps around the school before you go home today.
B-but-
If you complain, I'll add another fifty laps.
[the skinny little alien kid pouts, but doesn't argue. Kamui turns to the bully, still smiling his usual pretendy nice guy smile (tm)]
As for you, Mikey~ You like to fight, do you?
[Mikey nods excitedly, kind of grinning at the fact that the poor little nerd got in trouble for being a sissy. This is the coolest teacher ever!]
I see~! Would you mind telling me why you decided to pick a fight with Marvin here?
[Little Mikey puffs out his chest, looking SO PROUD OF HIMSELF]
Because he's a wuss! And I was showin' him that I'm stronger than him! So he better not mess with me, yeah?
Yes, he certainly is a wuss, isn't he. But you know, [Kamui plops his hand down on Mikey's head, still smiling] If you keep picking fights with people who are weaker than you, you're only going to look like a big wuss yourself, y'know? You can't prove that you're strong if you just beat up on weaklings, right?
[Oh ho ho, little Mikey no longer looks too proud of himself. He's looking kind of confused now]
B-but...I am strong!
Ooooh~? [And naturally Kamui's still smiling] Well, since you're so strong, you get to run two hundred laps around the school for starting a fight. And you're not going home until you're finished. Understand~?
Huuuuuh!? That's not fair!
It's not~? Well, I guess I'm underestimating you, huh? In that case, four hundred laps for the tough guy!
BUT-!
Do you wanna go for more? I can make it five hundred laps~!
N-no...
No what~?
No sir.
Much better. Well, better hop to it, then!
[little Mikey turns to start jogging, grumbling something under his breath too quietly for the guide to pick up. Though, it certainly seems like Kamui heard it]
Oh! Mikey~ wait just a moment!
[Mikey stops and turns back to Kamui, who has gone off screen. When he returns, he drops a pretty large, heavy looking rock in his hands. And yes, he's still smiling.]
You'll be carrying this with you the first two hundred laps. Go.
[Mikey stares at Kamui for a few seconds like he's insane (because he is) before grunting and running off. Kamui just waves after him, and then turns back to the rest of the kids]
Well! We're all going to be on our best behavior from now on, right kids~?
[And now these children are full of kid!horror. END FEEDO]