OI, YOU!
[Have a feed of a shirtless man with a bunch of weird tattoos pointing directly at the Guide]
YOU REALIZE WHAT TODAY IS? NO?? TCH! TO YOU IT MAY JUST BE FRIDAY--
[Wait. There's a pause as he glances away...]
Oi, you...it's Friday, right?
[OKAY BACK TO THE GUIDE]
YOSH! IT MAY JUST BE FRIDAY TO YOU BUT TODAY IS A DAY OF CELEBRATION!! TODAY MARKS THE RETURN OF THE MIGHTIEST WARRIOR IN THE ENTIRE GALAXY TO THE THOR! CHAAA! DID YOU REALLY THINK SOMETHING AS TRIVIAL AS SPACE WOULD DEFEAT ME?! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!
OI, OI, IN CASE YOU FORGOT, I AM THE MAN THAT REJECTS THE IMPOSSIBLE! WITH AMBITIONS NEARLY AS BIG AS MY...
[
....!!!]
HEART! YOSH!
I TEAR OPEN LIFE'S PATHS WITH THE BURNING OF MY SCORCHING SOUL ALONE!! OI, OI, OI, YOU SHOULD ALL BOW TO THE PINNACLE OF MASCULINITY AND REJOICE SINCE TODAY IS THE DAY THAT THE UNIVERSE'S HERO, KAMINA-SAMA, HAS RETURNED!!!
[There's a small click as the Guide turns off but he hastily turns it back on a second later]
AH, DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR PRESENTS TO 3-28!