005 ↟ I'm in your lab, skewing your test results. | [Video]

[crazy_about_it]

[The local science channel seems to have acquired a recording of some scientific testing from Thor labs. A scientist is on camera, detailing the results of some of their tests.]Subject D3142 is still showing considerable resistence to the effects of the taser. We've already increased the voltage well beyond what is considered a safe limit for

Comments

[action] LITERALLY THE SLOWEST TAG

[stolethatkiss]

[Hello, coworker.

Pip kind of hates you, because YOU'RE TOTALLY RAISING THE BAR FOR THE OTHER TEST SUBJECTS HERE.

And he is. Just a human, God help him.]

...Alright, what the hell are you doing.

[action] THIS IS A WONDERFUL TAG

[crazy_about_it]

What does it look like? I'm getting shocked for science.

[So much sarcasm.]

[action]

[stolethatkiss]

Yeah, so am I, but you don't see me ruining everything for everyone else.

[Grumble grumble.]

There are humans here, too, if everyone's fucking forgotten.

Re: [action]

[crazy_about_it]

Sorry, man. It's not like I can fake it with all those wires attached. They must get aliens in here all the time though, right?

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[stolethatkiss]

Listen. The last time those assholes came over to me with a taser, they said: "if that white-haired humanoid can put up with it, you're alright with this voltage, right?"

I had to kick one of them where I thought their nuts were to get to lower the damn power. If you're gonna be a monster, at least try to look like one so innocents like us don't have to suffer, hm?

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[crazy_about_it]

... [Dante doesn't really appreciate being called a monster.]

It's not my fault if these guys are idiots and think we're all alike.

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[stolethatkiss]

[Pip is pretty blunt about it-- he's seen enough humanoid craycrays to last his entire life, really.]

It's hard for us puny mortals to tell. Trust me, I've had my ass kicked by too many cute, innocent-looking girls to trust anything that looks like a human anymore.

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[crazy_about_it]

Then maybe you should explain that to them instead of getting on my case for doing a job I didn't want in the first place?

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[stolethatkiss]

Do you honestly think I haven't tried? [An exaggerated, world-weary sigh, and he shakes out a cig from a carton, even though he's not supposed to be smoking on the job.]

You could try acting, or is that against your policy?

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[crazy_about_it]

Yeah, that'll work. Especially when they have all those machines telling them my heart rate and everything else.

Look, I'll tell them that I'm not entirely human. That's the best I can do.

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[stolethatkiss]

Not entirely, huh.

[And because Pip has no conception of personal space, he'll lean over in his chair and staaaaare at Dante for a few seconds.]

...Hm.

Re: [action]

[crazy_about_it]

... What are you doing?

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[stolethatkiss]

Just checking something. Non, you don't have red eyes-- so, not a vampire. That rules one option out.

[He reaches over and sweeps Dante's bangs up to get a better look.]

Re: [action]

[crazy_about_it]

[And Dante smacks Pip's hand away from his face, not being too careful about how hard he hits either.] Cut that out.

Sorry dude, if you want to see the non-human bits, you have to at least buy me dinner first.

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[stolethatkiss]

Ah, I would call you a wine-and-dine kind of girl, then, if you were a girl.

[Shaking his hand out, because okay, ow.]

And if seeing the 'non-human' bits entail taking off your pants, then I'll pass, hm?

Re: [action]

[crazy_about_it]

Well if you wanted the full effect...

[Smirk.]

Not that I'm planning to show you anything.