[Crowley - 20] [Video]
[The feed opens up on the face of a good-looking young man in his twenties, wearing black sunglasses and a nice shirt. He appears terribly amused, as if he's enjoying some private joke, and he starts speaking in a pleasant voice, colored with an unmistakable British accent:]
You're all going to Hell.
[Then he pauses and tilts his head a bit, and when he begins speaking again, it looks and sounds as though he's reading from something.]
Unless you do the following: Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.
[He manages to keep a straight face through to the end, at which point he's grinning again, and looking back into the camera.]
All this message needs now is some theme music and a reference about gratuitous pictures of penises and getting the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema.
This message of peace and goodwill is brought to you by the Intergalactic House of Worship. Please direct all complaints and requests for membership to the Help Desk.
[Excuse him, he's going to go have a good laugh at the expense of intergalactic organized religion now.]
You're all going to Hell.
[Then he pauses and tilts his head a bit, and when he begins speaking again, it looks and sounds as though he's reading from something.]
Unless you do the following: Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.
[He manages to keep a straight face through to the end, at which point he's grinning again, and looking back into the camera.]
All this message needs now is some theme music and a reference about gratuitous pictures of penises and getting the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema.
This message of peace and goodwill is brought to you by the Intergalactic House of Worship. Please direct all complaints and requests for membership to the Help Desk.
[Excuse him, he's going to go have a good laugh at the expense of intergalactic organized religion now.]