Space Chich Magazine
Good evening everyone! Maraich reporting for Space Chic Magazine! As some of you already know, I happen to be a fashion guru. And this month I'm using my knowledge to help all of you in this very article.
I've been keeping an eye on what people wear on this ship and I have seen some incredible fashion failures and, thankfully, a few people who have a clue how to dress themselves. Lucky for all of you I'm here to help!
#1. Mr. Short-torso Longarms
As we all know, vertical stripes can help make someone look slimmer and taller. I'm not quite sure why he wants only his arms to look slim and long. Even without the stripes this shirt wouldn't be very attractive.
Thankfully, he doesn't always dress so badly. I caught him later wearing this, and while it's nothing to write home about it's a normal enough outfit. (Why does he have an obsession with stripes on his arms?) The color is much better, with a nice collar. The pants and shoes are fine, too. It's hard to go wrong with plain black slacks. He could probably take a lesson from #8 when picking out what sort of top to wear.
#2. Mr. Alien Outfit
In my search I found this man. While I haven't seen many outfits like his, it goes together well enough to work. The white goes well under the vest, and both the vest and pants look like they're made from fairly high quality material. Judging by how tight the pants are he may never father any children.
The undershirt actually appears thicker and rough, like work clothes. I'm not sure what sort of work outfit this is meant to be.
The belt could probably be strapped on a bit firmer.
My main issues with this outfit are the hand accessories. And the shoes.
The rings and bracelets don't match the outfit at all, and the bright pastel colors look as if they belong in a young girl's fake jewelry box. The shoes, on the other hand, can't decide whether they're providing ultimate protection or if they want to grow up one day to be strappy high heels. The combination isn't very flattering.
#3. Miss Vanity Fair
This outfit, for the most part, is rather nice. The blue and white go well together. It shows off some skin at the top and mostly covers up at the bottom, leaving a little to the imagination. It has a simple but elegant designs
My only gripe with this outfit is once again, the shoes.
They have absolutely no shape to them. No design, no flow - it's like strapping a wooden plank to your foot. A nice pair of open-toed high heels would go much better with the outfit.
#4. Mr. Mostly-Nude-People-Can't-Be-Fashionable
Despite what this man might try to lead you to believe, wrapping yourself up in a bunch of bandages doesn't count as clothing. Not unless you're a mummy. As I saw him walking around I found myself wondering how long it would take for his pants to fall down around his ankles.
Belts should be worn properly. If your have to hold them up manually then you're not using them right.
On the other hand, the cape was quite nice.
#5. Mr. Not Much To Say About Him
This is fairly simple. Some nice dress shirts can really do wonders for a man.
There isn't much else to say about him.
#6. Mr. I Could Look Good But Choose Not To
Aside from the atrocious posture, this outfit is actually rather nice. A little old-fashioned, a perhaps the red parts could remind one of Count Dracula, but the fabric is high quality and the stitching is done well. The outfit all goes together well. If his hair were combed back nicely and he was standing up straight he would actually look very attractive.
Unfortunately, he usually dresses more like this.
Yeah.
#7. Mr. Has An Excuse
These shades are actually quite nice. Maybe a little on the large side, but they have a solid design and the white makes them stick out.
I don't know what's up with the bright orange thing around his neck, but unlike the rest of you he actually has an excuse.
#8. Mr. Formal Casual
This outfit works overall. A nice dress-up shirt, a nice jacket... The scarf isn't too much. A slightly lighter shirt might work better with the jacket and pants, but other than that it doesn't really need any improvements.
#9. Miss Helps Planes Land
Black and orange go together well enough, but they're more Halloween colors than anything. I don't think it's necessary to walk around in something that perfectly molds itself to every inch of your skin. And what's with the giant shoulder pads on top of that?
If nothing else it should definitely keep her warm.
#10. Mr. Fancypants
Here's someone who actually knows how to dress. A simple vest, some nice slacks... It all comes together for a very proper and classy look. There's no glaring mistakes in this outfit. The vest and tie even go with his eyes.
It can easily be worn for a formal occassion or for a day out. And the outfit almost keeps you from noticing those eyebrows.
#11. Mr. Why You Shouldn't Wear Suspenders
Suspenders can work in very, very rare circumstances. This is not one of them.
Get rid of the suspenders and just wear the shirt.
#12. Mr. Clothes As Black As His Heart
This outfit could work. The material is high quality; it all goes together. It's a little unusual but some people can pull it off with the right hair and make-up to go with it.
And the right personality.
It's not exactly the type of outfit for "Happy smiley fun times guy" though. Pick something brighter and a little more casual.
#13. Mr. I'm Too Good For Buttons
This is another outfit that's very old-fashioned. It looks like what someone might where in a medieval romance novel.
The colors and design go well together - it's best for such designs to stay simple. The fabric is acceptable as well. The open chest can work well enough depending on what he's going for. I've seen plenty of beautiful young men who show a little chest. And it's not too much to give the wrong idea.
#14. Miss Mostly-Nude-People-Can't-Be-Fashionable
This outfit can work on a hot summer day. The yellow-orange goes with the blue and the pattern works. It could be a nice beachside outfit.
Some of the jewelry is a bit over the top and cheap looking - the chains look like she could have pulled them right off an old gate. Something like a three-strand pearl necklace would look much better and stand out more. Or possibly a chandelier necklace.
It's on the skimpy side, and she should looks like she's about to flash us all if she makes any sudden movement, but if she has something covering her up underneath then it's probably fine.
Unfortunately, due to her other outfits, I highly doubt anything is covered at all. There's an old saying; Show a little on top or on bottom, but not both. I believe this saying can be benefit her greatly.
And we have one winner for a free make-over. So if you're
then please report to room 8-42!
I've been keeping an eye on what people wear on this ship and I have seen some incredible fashion failures and, thankfully, a few people who have a clue how to dress themselves. Lucky for all of you I'm here to help!
#1. Mr. Short-torso Longarms
As we all know, vertical stripes can help make someone look slimmer and taller. I'm not quite sure why he wants only his arms to look slim and long. Even without the stripes this shirt wouldn't be very attractive.
Thankfully, he doesn't always dress so badly. I caught him later wearing this, and while it's nothing to write home about it's a normal enough outfit. (Why does he have an obsession with stripes on his arms?) The color is much better, with a nice collar. The pants and shoes are fine, too. It's hard to go wrong with plain black slacks. He could probably take a lesson from #8 when picking out what sort of top to wear.
#2. Mr. Alien Outfit
In my search I found this man. While I haven't seen many outfits like his, it goes together well enough to work. The white goes well under the vest, and both the vest and pants look like they're made from fairly high quality material. Judging by how tight the pants are he may never father any children.
The undershirt actually appears thicker and rough, like work clothes. I'm not sure what sort of work outfit this is meant to be.
The belt could probably be strapped on a bit firmer.
My main issues with this outfit are the hand accessories. And the shoes.
The rings and bracelets don't match the outfit at all, and the bright pastel colors look as if they belong in a young girl's fake jewelry box. The shoes, on the other hand, can't decide whether they're providing ultimate protection or if they want to grow up one day to be strappy high heels. The combination isn't very flattering.
#3. Miss Vanity Fair
This outfit, for the most part, is rather nice. The blue and white go well together. It shows off some skin at the top and mostly covers up at the bottom, leaving a little to the imagination. It has a simple but elegant designs
My only gripe with this outfit is once again, the shoes.
They have absolutely no shape to them. No design, no flow - it's like strapping a wooden plank to your foot. A nice pair of open-toed high heels would go much better with the outfit.
#4. Mr. Mostly-Nude-People-Can't-Be-Fashionable
Despite what this man might try to lead you to believe, wrapping yourself up in a bunch of bandages doesn't count as clothing. Not unless you're a mummy. As I saw him walking around I found myself wondering how long it would take for his pants to fall down around his ankles.
Belts should be worn properly. If your have to hold them up manually then you're not using them right.
On the other hand, the cape was quite nice.
#5. Mr. Not Much To Say About Him
This is fairly simple. Some nice dress shirts can really do wonders for a man.
There isn't much else to say about him.
#6. Mr. I Could Look Good But Choose Not To
Aside from the atrocious posture, this outfit is actually rather nice. A little old-fashioned, a perhaps the red parts could remind one of Count Dracula, but the fabric is high quality and the stitching is done well. The outfit all goes together well. If his hair were combed back nicely and he was standing up straight he would actually look very attractive.
Unfortunately, he usually dresses more like this.
Yeah.
#7. Mr. Has An Excuse
These shades are actually quite nice. Maybe a little on the large side, but they have a solid design and the white makes them stick out.
I don't know what's up with the bright orange thing around his neck, but unlike the rest of you he actually has an excuse.
#8. Mr. Formal Casual
This outfit works overall. A nice dress-up shirt, a nice jacket... The scarf isn't too much. A slightly lighter shirt might work better with the jacket and pants, but other than that it doesn't really need any improvements.
#9. Miss Helps Planes Land
Black and orange go together well enough, but they're more Halloween colors than anything. I don't think it's necessary to walk around in something that perfectly molds itself to every inch of your skin. And what's with the giant shoulder pads on top of that?
If nothing else it should definitely keep her warm.
#10. Mr. Fancypants
Here's someone who actually knows how to dress. A simple vest, some nice slacks... It all comes together for a very proper and classy look. There's no glaring mistakes in this outfit. The vest and tie even go with his eyes.
It can easily be worn for a formal occassion or for a day out. And the outfit almost keeps you from noticing those eyebrows.
#11. Mr. Why You Shouldn't Wear Suspenders
Suspenders can work in very, very rare circumstances. This is not one of them.
Get rid of the suspenders and just wear the shirt.
#12. Mr. Clothes As Black As His Heart
This outfit could work. The material is high quality; it all goes together. It's a little unusual but some people can pull it off with the right hair and make-up to go with it.
And the right personality.
It's not exactly the type of outfit for "Happy smiley fun times guy" though. Pick something brighter and a little more casual.
#13. Mr. I'm Too Good For Buttons
This is another outfit that's very old-fashioned. It looks like what someone might where in a medieval romance novel.
The colors and design go well together - it's best for such designs to stay simple. The fabric is acceptable as well. The open chest can work well enough depending on what he's going for. I've seen plenty of beautiful young men who show a little chest. And it's not too much to give the wrong idea.
#14. Miss Mostly-Nude-People-Can't-Be-Fashionable
This outfit can work on a hot summer day. The yellow-orange goes with the blue and the pattern works. It could be a nice beachside outfit.
Some of the jewelry is a bit over the top and cheap looking - the chains look like she could have pulled them right off an old gate. Something like a three-strand pearl necklace would look much better and stand out more. Or possibly a chandelier necklace.
It's on the skimpy side, and she should looks like she's about to flash us all if she makes any sudden movement, but if she has something covering her up underneath then it's probably fine.
Unfortunately, due to her other outfits, I highly doubt anything is covered at all. There's an old saying; Show a little on top or on bottom, but not both. I believe this saying can be benefit her greatly.
And we have one winner for a free make-over. So if you're
then please report to room 8-42!