one jelly baby | video
No no no, this can't be right. Look at this. Form after form after form; I don't have time to be filling out any forms! [It would appear that, for the time being, the Doctor is talking to himself and not paying much attention to what the Guide's doing right now and instead seems to be looking at some forms. He also has an ever-so, ever-so slight Liverpudlian accent.] "Don't panic", now isn't that nice? I don't think it will help many people, but it's a nice enough thought. Pre-emptive. That's good. I wonder what else they've decided to pre-empt. Probably the most likely escape routes―
[There's a pause and a soft hum.] Oh, but "your planet has been destroyed". That's not right at all. I was just―― no, no, it doesn't matter. Wait, that's wrong; it does matter, but it's not-- stupid, stupid, how would they even know--. Someone clearly has their wires crossed somewhere, even if that is an incredibly simplistic way of putting it. But what better way to ensure people stay exactly where you want them than to tell them their world -- their home -- has been destroyed? Fabricate some 'proof', come up with an explanation, proffer some supposed facts about the planet and its people and there you go; a nice, willing, subservient group of people ready to believe in and listen to your every word. After all, you've saved-- [A slight pause.] Ah! This should do it.
[Hello, S.S Thor. Now he's paying attention. This would be another version of the Doctor. Younger and dressed in a cravat! And several other items of clothing, obviously. Actually, his entire outfit is something he stole from a hospital. It's really rather swish if you like that sort of thing and the shoes fit perfectly, jsyk.]
Hello, I'm the Doctor. Now, I know that this must be a very confusing time for a lot of people, but it's imperative that I speak to someone who knows exactly what is going on -- someone in charge and preferably with a propensity towards being honest. Without having to fill out any forms, please. I assure you, there will be no panicking and you can even have your towel back. I won't be needing it. [Pause pause paaaause. For a moment, he looks as if he might say something else, but remembers something decides against it.]
[There's a pause and a soft hum.] Oh, but "your planet has been destroyed". That's not right at all. I was just―― no, no, it doesn't matter. Wait, that's wrong; it does matter, but it's not-- stupid, stupid, how would they even know--. Someone clearly has their wires crossed somewhere, even if that is an incredibly simplistic way of putting it. But what better way to ensure people stay exactly where you want them than to tell them their world -- their home -- has been destroyed? Fabricate some 'proof', come up with an explanation, proffer some supposed facts about the planet and its people and there you go; a nice, willing, subservient group of people ready to believe in and listen to your every word. After all, you've saved-- [A slight pause.] Ah! This should do it.
[Hello, S.S Thor. Now he's paying attention. This would be another version of the Doctor. Younger and dressed in a cravat! And several other items of clothing, obviously. Actually, his entire outfit is something he stole from a hospital. It's really rather swish if you like that sort of thing and the shoes fit perfectly, jsyk.]
Hello, I'm the Doctor. Now, I know that this must be a very confusing time for a lot of people, but it's imperative that I speak to someone who knows exactly what is going on -- someone in charge and preferably with a propensity towards being honest. Without having to fill out any forms, please. I assure you, there will be no panicking and you can even have your towel back. I won't be needing it. [Pause pause paaaause. For a moment, he looks as if he might say something else, but remembers something decides against it.]