I cannot sleep, so i shall Rant
This weeks top 3 irritating customers are:
So she calls in because one of her services on the "shinier than it is useful" phone does not work. It's a known issue, easy fix. Text a link for the software patch and bam, it works again. Takes less than five minutes. But wait, now she wants to be compensated for the loss of the service, ok that's fair enough, just one problem. We offer that service for FREE. She pays absolutely nothing for it, not one cent. It doesn't even show up on the damn bill. So I spend five minutes explaining to her that, no, we can't credit her for a service for which we do not charge her.
Instead of accepting simple truth and logic, she wants to speak to my supervisor. The same thing happens here that has happened every time someone wants to speak to my supervisor. They come over, here what's going on, look over the account to confirm, talk to the customer and hear their side, and then tells them the EXACT SAME THING I SAID 7 MINUTES AGO. Just because you make a fuss and talk to management does not mean you will get your way, and I applaud my company for that (It's one of the only things I applaud them for).
This has to be the strangest request I have gotten so far. This guy wanted to be compensated for "Personal Embarrassment" after his phone called somebody from his pocket, supposedly while locked. Honestly, I'm betting he just doesn't know how to lock the keypad, or forgets to do it before he shoves it in his pocket. Either way, I spend 25 minutes on the phone with this socially inept idiot as he explains how embarrassed he was and how if he receives any further personal or professional "injury" that he may sue :o. Oh, and how much compensation are we talking about? "Oh, you know, just a couple months of free service or something." WTF, seriously? A couple months worth of service, which he asks for like it's five bucks, is at least $200 worth of credit. Can you even imagine getting compensated $200 every time your phone made a call from your pocket? it's just not gonna fucking happen.
Turns out the real problem is that he's worried the girl his phone called while he was in the bathroom will think less of him and he won't be able to ask her out. I spend about 10 to 15 minutes assuring him that's it's no big deal and she probably won't care. He already sent a message to the chick apologizing, so she's probably just going to forget about it in a few days anyway. The only way that someone would think less of you for something so trivial would be if, let's say, you blow it way out of proportion and don't stop bringing it up and/or apologizing for it and try to do something drastic to make up for it. Like try to sue an entire company because you're embarrassed and insecure. Of course, I'm no therapist, I'm just Fucking Tech Support!!
and finally
First off, the jerk won't stop talking, and he apparently think that i am not one man, but an entire team. I say this because before i even start on part one of today's agenda (switching his service to new device and activating it) he's already jumping around to parts 3, 5, and 12; none of which can be done until ACTIVATE THE DAMN PHONE! So for the love of god, hold off on putting your email on there until we can at least make a fucking Phone Call!
So I finally shut his ass up long enough to get the damn thing switched over and activated. Got all of his internet and data service up and running, and even switched his email account over, but no it's not Fucking good enough. Apparently we HAVE to get the old emails and texts from the old device onto the new one. The emails, there's no fucking way, it's just not how those work. it pulls in new messages from your existing accounts, it will not pull in the entire fucking archive. It's a goddamn yahoo account! Go online you dumb fuck! As for the texts, no, there is no way that i know of, no matter how much you insist that "oh, we've done before i know it works". Then go back to whoever did it for you, or figure it out for yourself, because I don't know, nobody else on my team knows (I asked) and not even the guy from the manufacturer of the device and software knows. So have fun talking to Jose from the manufacturer, have fun ranting to him about how you know this shit works. If you're that fucking certain, then GOOGLE IT!
and now, back to sleep. Tomorrow there shall be shopping and gaming therapy.
So she calls in because one of her services on the "shinier than it is useful" phone does not work. It's a known issue, easy fix. Text a link for the software patch and bam, it works again. Takes less than five minutes. But wait, now she wants to be compensated for the loss of the service, ok that's fair enough, just one problem. We offer that service for FREE. She pays absolutely nothing for it, not one cent. It doesn't even show up on the damn bill. So I spend five minutes explaining to her that, no, we can't credit her for a service for which we do not charge her.
Instead of accepting simple truth and logic, she wants to speak to my supervisor. The same thing happens here that has happened every time someone wants to speak to my supervisor. They come over, here what's going on, look over the account to confirm, talk to the customer and hear their side, and then tells them the EXACT SAME THING I SAID 7 MINUTES AGO. Just because you make a fuss and talk to management does not mean you will get your way, and I applaud my company for that (It's one of the only things I applaud them for).
This has to be the strangest request I have gotten so far. This guy wanted to be compensated for "Personal Embarrassment" after his phone called somebody from his pocket, supposedly while locked. Honestly, I'm betting he just doesn't know how to lock the keypad, or forgets to do it before he shoves it in his pocket. Either way, I spend 25 minutes on the phone with this socially inept idiot as he explains how embarrassed he was and how if he receives any further personal or professional "injury" that he may sue :o. Oh, and how much compensation are we talking about? "Oh, you know, just a couple months of free service or something." WTF, seriously? A couple months worth of service, which he asks for like it's five bucks, is at least $200 worth of credit. Can you even imagine getting compensated $200 every time your phone made a call from your pocket? it's just not gonna fucking happen.
Turns out the real problem is that he's worried the girl his phone called while he was in the bathroom will think less of him and he won't be able to ask her out. I spend about 10 to 15 minutes assuring him that's it's no big deal and she probably won't care. He already sent a message to the chick apologizing, so she's probably just going to forget about it in a few days anyway. The only way that someone would think less of you for something so trivial would be if, let's say, you blow it way out of proportion and don't stop bringing it up and/or apologizing for it and try to do something drastic to make up for it. Like try to sue an entire company because you're embarrassed and insecure. Of course, I'm no therapist, I'm just Fucking Tech Support!!
and finally
First off, the jerk won't stop talking, and he apparently think that i am not one man, but an entire team. I say this because before i even start on part one of today's agenda (switching his service to new device and activating it) he's already jumping around to parts 3, 5, and 12; none of which can be done until ACTIVATE THE DAMN PHONE! So for the love of god, hold off on putting your email on there until we can at least make a fucking Phone Call!
So I finally shut his ass up long enough to get the damn thing switched over and activated. Got all of his internet and data service up and running, and even switched his email account over, but no it's not Fucking good enough. Apparently we HAVE to get the old emails and texts from the old device onto the new one. The emails, there's no fucking way, it's just not how those work. it pulls in new messages from your existing accounts, it will not pull in the entire fucking archive. It's a goddamn yahoo account! Go online you dumb fuck! As for the texts, no, there is no way that i know of, no matter how much you insist that "oh, we've done before i know it works". Then go back to whoever did it for you, or figure it out for yourself, because I don't know, nobody else on my team knows (I asked) and not even the guy from the manufacturer of the device and software knows. So have fun talking to Jose from the manufacturer, have fun ranting to him about how you know this shit works. If you're that fucking certain, then GOOGLE IT!
and now, back to sleep. Tomorrow there shall be shopping and gaming therapy.