fic: i'll be fine until the morning comes
i'll be fine until the morning comes
matt grevers/nathan adrian
pg13, 14645 words
warnings for underage (they're both in high school; matt is 18 and nathan is 15) and curse words
“Dude,” Conor says at lunch, lips around a spoon as he eats his pudding. “This needs to stop.”
Nathan’s just about to stab his straw into his milk carton. “What?”
Conor takes his spoon out of his mouth. Ricky slips into the seat next to him and grabs the spoon, using it to take a bite out of Conor’s pudding. Conor makes a face and Ricky just grins.
“You’re lovesick,” Conor says simply.
“Wait,” Ricky says, “I thought we were going to do the intervention after lunch?”
“Intervention?” Nathan asks and looks at his friends like they’re crazy.
“We can’t,” Conor replies to Ricky and forcefully takes his spoon back. “Matt’s giving us a ride home.”
“I thought your dads were picking us up?” Nathan asks but gets ignored by his two best friends.
“Phelps-Lochte,” Ricky says, annoyed. “I’m not ready. I was going to prepare my notes during sixth.”
“Oh well,” Conor replies and adverts his attention from Ricky to Nathan. “You’re lovesick and this needs to stop.”
Nathan takes a sip of milk, confused. Usually he can follow along with whatever insane schemes his friends have come up with and usually talks them out of doing anything stupid but right now he’s completely lost. “What are you talking about Conor?”
“You’re in love with Matt,” Conor says and Nathan chokes on his milk. He grabs a napkin and wipes at his mouth before he can spit it out all over his new jeans. Conor continues, “I love you and I accept you but this needs to stop.”
“I’m not in love with Matt,” Nathan replies, saying each word slowly because he’s starting to believe his friends have some sort of mental affliction.
Ricky laughs and when Nathan doesn’t laugh with him he gets serious. “I’ve known you since you were six and you saying you’re not in love with Matt is like saying the Earth isn’t round.”
“But I’m not in love with Matt,” Nathan repeats.
Ricky and Conor both look serious. Conor eventually sighs and goes back to eating his pudding. “So, you’re not upset that Matt’s taking Annie to prom?”
“What?!” Nathan manages to knock over his milk into his mashed potatoes. Conor raises his eyebrow in that asshole way that he does and Ricky leans forward, chin in hand and looking like a completely smug dick.
Nathan flushes and resists the urge to flick them both off. “He didn’t tell me he was taking her to prom.”
“He hasn’t asked yet,” Conor replies, finally done with his pudding. Nathan glares. “But it’s like written in stone that they’re meant to go to prom together.”
Nathan feels his heart drop. He’s not in love with Matt. He’s not, but it still sort of sucks that Matt’s taking Annie to prom. Annie’s nice and all but sometimes she says sketchy things that make Nathan raise his eyebrow and they’ve always sort of had this thing where they like each other but they really don’t.
Nathan uses his fork to play with his mash potatoes-and-milk.
“I’m sorry,” Conor says and ruffles Nathan’s hair.
“It’s fine,” Nathan replies but doesn’t lift his head.
Sixth period kind of sucks. Nathan usually enjoys English, despite the fact that he has it with Tyler Clary, but it’s hard to concentrate on To Kill a Mockingbird when he keeps thinking about Matt and Annie at prom together.
Matt will probably ask Annie at like swim practice or something. And she’ll say yes and everyone will clap and the girls will go on about it for days. And then when prom rolls around they’ll probably go in a limo and Annie will wear something elegant and Matt will wear a tux. They’ll probably end up slow dancing and kissing under the moonlight or some cliché like that.
Hopefully Annie will end up wearing something gaudy and ugly and ruin the entire experience.
When the bell rings Nathan shuffles out of class and finds Ricky and Nathan hanging around Matt’s locker even though Matt’s not there. Ricky wraps an arm around Nathan’s shoulders and ruffles his hair and Nathan just hip checks him into the lockers as gently as he can.
“I’m not in love with Matt,” Nathan says while Conor gives him a sad look. He’s like fifteen and he doesn’t know what it’s like to be in love anyway, but if he was in love with Matt it would just make things more awkward than they already are.
Matt’s only three years older than Nathan, and that shouldn’t be a big deal, but it sort of is because being three years older means that they’ve rarely ever been in the same school at the same time, and because of that Nathan hasn’t seen much of Matt these past few years. It’s mostly okay because he has Ricky and Conor to fill the void and Matt’s always been really nice to them and gives them rides home but Matt’s a senior and has so many other things to worry about. There’s a disconnect between them that was never there before.
When Matt shows up he’s sweaty and his glasses are askew. “Sorry,” he says, “I couldn’t hear the bell ring in the weight room.” He’s still got on his gym shorts and workout shirt and yeah okay, if Nathan was in love with Matt he’d admit that Matt looks really good after a workout. Over the years Matt’s grown into his long face and tall stature and he’s built up a lot of muscle and he looks pretty damn good.
“What’s wrong?” Matt asks because Conor’s still looking at Nathan sadly and Ricky’s still got his arm wrapped around his shoulders. Nathan must look someone’s died because Matt sounds really concerned.
“Clary was just being a dick like usual,” Nathan replies because even though it’s sort of a lie and wrong to blame other people for his somewhat non-existent problems, everyone knows Clary’s a dick. It seems to pacify Matt because he just nods and gently shuffles Conor out of the way to get to his locker.
Nathan’s pretty sure that Conor’s dads were supposed to pick them up after school, a Friday night tradition, but they all shuffle into Matt’s car and join the other hundred something cars waiting for all the buses to leave so that they can go to Conor’s place for video games and pizza.
It’s quiet in the car, and sort of peaceful for them, and then Ricky asks Matt, “So, how are you going to ask Annie to prom?” and Nathan bumps his knees so hard into the back of Ricky’s seat that Ricky turns around to give him the stink eye.
Matt doesn’t reply right away and he looks a little uncomfortable. “Uh,” he finally says, “I haven’t thought of that yet.”
“Oh really?” Conor says and has this look on this face that Nathan doesn’t trust or like. It’s his sneaky face. The face he tries to use to pull one over on his dads or his teachers. “Are you thinking about asking someone else?”
Matt looks even more uncomfortable and finally manages to pull out of the school parking lot and onto the main road. It’s only a three minute drive and a five minute walk to Conor’s house but it’s Friday and no one wants to deal with the heat on a Friday. “I’m pretty sure I’m going with Annie.”
Something sinks in Nathan’s heart, which is such shit because he didn’t even care about prom until Ricky and Conor bought it up at lunch, but he puts on a grin and reaches around the head of the seat to clasp Matt on the shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll say yes no matter which way you ask her.”
Matt grins at him in the rearview mirror and Conor nudges his ankle with the tip of his shoe. When Nathan looks at him and Conor mouths what are you doing and Nathan just mouths back I’m not in love with him.
Matt can’t stick around which all in all sucks, but it’s not like they’re used to Matt hanging out with them anyway. “Sorry,” he says, “I promised to hang out with Annie tonight.”
They watch Matt pull out of the driveway and drive down the road, and then Ricky makes a mad dash into the house before Nathan can strangle him.
“Ricky!” Nathan yells after he trips over Ricky’s backpack lying in front of the open door. “I’m going to kill you!”
“What?!” Ricky yells from the kitchen. “You said you weren’t in love with him!”
“Dude he’s right,” Conor says from behind Nathan. “If you’re not in love with him you can’t get angry at him for asking a question.”
“You!” Nathan says. “This is your fault too!”
Conor is slowly inching towards the stairs. Nathan can’t get his hands around both of their necks at the same time if they’re in two different rooms at two different levels. Nathan decides Conor is closer and lurches forward but Conor goes running up the stairs screaming, Nathan lumbering up the stairs after him.
Nathan trips on a discarded shoe but manages to get a hand around Conor’s ankle and drag him down. “No!” Conor yells and kicks but Nathan gets his other ankle too. “Dad!”
“Conor,” Michael Phelps calls from somewhere upstairs, “if you did something stupid I can’t stop Nathan from killing you.”
“I’m not in love with Matt!” Nathan yells and struggles to keep Conor’s ankles in his grasp. Conor’s like the rest of them; still gangly and awkward with his limbs way too long for his body but he’s got strength in his legs from dolphin kicks and it’s not like how it used to be when they were kids. Nathan was always taller and bigger but now Conor’s caught up to him in height, for now, and if Conor doesn’t stop trying to kick him in the face they’re both going to go rolling down the stairs and snap their necks.
Conor finally manages to get free and he runs the rest of the way up the stairs and into his bedroom but Nathan is hot on his heels and manages to tackle his best friend to the floor before Conor can close the door. Nathan straddles Conor and it would be awkward and weird if it wasn’t them, but he pushes down on Conor’s shoulders and squeezes instead of doing the alternative and actually choking Conor.
“I don’t like Matt like that and if I did it was such an asshole thing for you two to bring up prom!”
Conor is struggling beneath him and trying to buck up to dislodge Nathan but it isn’t working. “If you don’t like Matt like that then why are you upset that he’s taking Annie to prom?!”
“Because - !” Nathan can’t think of a reason why he’s upset he just knows that he is and Nathan and Ricky continue to make it worse.
“Boys,” Mike says from the doorway. Ricky is standing behind him smiling like a dick and Michael doesn’t look impressed, at all. “Is there something you need to tell me?”
“What?” Nathan asks and then looks down at Conor. “Oh,” he says once he realizes what position they’ve gotten themselves into. He rolls off of Conor but not before kneeing him in the side.
“Ow!” Conor says and grabs his side dramatically. “Dad, do you see how they treat me!?”
Mike raises his eyebrow. “I’m sure you deserved it.”
Michael Phelps-Lochte is like one of the best dads ever in Nathan’s opinion because he knows just how much of an asshole his own kid can be and rarely ever shows him sympathy when Conor does asshole things like repeatedly try to convince his best friend that he’s in love with another guy (which he isn’t!) and then bring up prom when he knows how much it upsets said best friend.
“I’m ordering pizza and your dad and I need you guys to help us bring in the Speedo boxes from the garage and Conor,” Mike waits for Conor to look at him, “stop being an asshole to your friends. Next time I am going to let Nathan strangle you.” Ricky snickers. “You too, Ricky.” Ricky stops snickering.
Mike leaves them to do whatever. Ricky collapses on the floor on Conor’s other side and Nathan leans against Conor’s bed.
“So,” Conor says and looks up at the ceiling, “in all seriousness, why are you upset that Matt’s taking Annie to prom?”
Nathan shrugs and plays with a stray string on his sock. “I don’t know. It’s just like, since Annie came along Matt doesn’t hang out with us, you know?”
Ricky and Conor nod. “But he’s like older,” Ricky says, “this is like the first time in six years we’ve been in the same school together.”
“I know,” Nathan says, “and he still rather hang out with Annie than us.”
“Annie is sort of his girlfriend,” Conor says and then frowns when Nathan glares at him. “All I’m saying is he’s supposed to hang out with her and we all knew that he was going to take her to prom anyway, you’re just super sensitive about and even if you don’t think you’re in love with Matt you got to admit you were kind of in love with him when we were kids. And you like him a lot more than you like Ricky and I.”
“I do not,” Nathan replies, defensive. He likes Ricky and Conor, hell, he even loves them like he loves his own family because Ricky and Conor are family to him, but Matt - Nathan’s not sure about Matt. When he was a kid things were different because they saw each other every day and Matt was his best friend, but then Conor came along, and Ricky was always there but they all got closer, and then all of a sudden Matt wasn’t there anymore because he was at a different school and Matt kind of just slipped out of his life. Nathan doesn’t hate Matt or dislike him, obviously, and he doesn’t blame Matt for them growing apart because it’s not his fault that he’s older, but Nathan knows he’s not in love with him. “And I wasn’t in love with him as a kid.”
Conor and Ricky both snort their disbelief. “Remember that one time he surprised you by showing up to your ninth birthday party?” Ricky says. “I swear you almost pissed your pants.”
“I did not!” Nathan grabs a dirty sock off the floor and throws it at Ricky. It lands on his chest and Ricky laughs before he balls it up and throws it back at Nathan. He misses and it skids off Conor’s bed and disappears into a corner.
“You so did dude,” Conor says and sits up. “But you know Ricky and I wouldn’t care if you were in love with him, right?”
Nathan raises his eyebrow and then rolls his eyes. “Really? Being raised by two dudes didn’t tell me at all that you were fine with me being gay.”
There’s a pause and then Ricky asks, “So you are gay?”
Nathan’s never really thought about it before. He knows he likes girls because he has a crush on a senior in his art class named Natalie Coughlin and he’ll never admit it to Conor or Ricky or anyone but for the longest time ever he had a crush on Mike, which was absolutely horrifying because Mike’s not only Conor’s dad but he’s also kind of like a second dad to Nathan and way older, but he’s never really thought about his sexuality. He’s fifteen; he has like five more years to really figure that stuff out.
“I guess?” He says and stands up. “I mean I like Natalie Coughlin and I guess dudes are hot?”
“Okay dude,” Conor says and punches Nathan gently in the leg. “Just do you.”
Conor must have gotten that piece of advice from Ryan because it doesn’t make much sense.
Mike orders them greasy cheese pizza and then forces them to help him bring in donations from Speedo. There are boxes and boxes full of swim caps and goggles and swimsuits crowding the garage and living room and Mike even lets them pick out some stuff to keep
.
“Speedo really just gave you all this stuff?” Nathan asks as he shifts through another box of swim caps. He’s in charge of counting and making sure that they have enough caps for the kids at the clinic Mike’s teaching next week, minus the ones he Ricky and Conor are allowed to have.
“Of course they did,” Ricky says and dumps another box onto the floor, “he’s Michael Phelps.”
“Phelps-Lochte,” Ryan says and finally makes an appearance for the first time. He’s carrying Carter in his arms because Carter is old and has arthritis in his hips and can’t climb stairs anymore. He puts Carter on the floor next to Nathan and then ruffles his hair.
“Speedo’s Dad’s bitch,” Conor says and bumps fists with Ryan.
“Conor,” Mike says and shakes his head. “What did I tell you about cursing?”
“It’s not a jeah?” Conor replies sheepishly and gently pulls Carter closer. Carter looks drugged and probably is. Conor frowns at him and kisses his head. It completely wrecked the Phelps-Lochte house last year when Herman passed away from cancer and Nathan spent an entire weekend at the house just to be with Conor in his time of need. If Carter dies soon Nathan’s sure Conor’s going to go straight into a downward spiral along with the rest of his family.
They spend the rest of the night organizing and loading the boxes into the back of Mike and Ryan’s cars and eating pizza and playing video games off the new Xbox. Ricky and Nathan share the bed in the spare room that used to be an art studio when they get too tired to beat each other’s asses in Madden and in the morning Ryan makes them pancakes and then drives them to the pool for practice.
Matt is already there with Annie and Conor kind of just nudges Nathan to the other side of the pool. Seeing Matt with Annie puts Nathan into a bad mood and his sets get sloppy. It’s not that Nathan doesn’t like Annie, it’s just that Matt could do better, like way better, and be with someone who doesn’t make racist comments or be mean to a kid just because he’s in the first grade or whatever.
After practice Matt comes up to them and surprisingly Annie isn’t with him.
“Sorry I had to ditch yesterday,” Matt says and looks genuine about his apology, “but do you guys want to hang out today?”
Nathan has a paper to write for English and an Earth Science test on Monday to study for but Matt’s asking to hang out and Nathan isn’t going to tell him no.
“Yeah,” Nathan says and grins but beside him Ricky and Conor jostle each other before Conor says, “sorry dude uh, Ricky and I have a big project to finish.”
Ricky and Conor only have one class together and that’s English. Even though Nathan’s not in the same period as them he has the same teacher and he doesn’t remember anything about a project. “What project?”
“Uh,” Ricky says, “for English?”
Nathan is instantly suspicious. “I don’t remember Mrs Smith assigning a project.”
“Yeah, well, it’s for extra credit,” Conor replies and dries off his hair. “You wouldn’t know anything about it because you’re a genius.”
Nathan’s about to say something but Matt just laughs and wraps an arm around his shoulder. Matt’s four inches taller but Nathan’s mother keeps claiming that he’s going to shoot up in height soon and just be as tall as Matt, which seems impossible because Matt’s huge. They’re both still in their Speedos and Matt’s bare skin against his own makes Nathan feel hot in a way that it doesn’t when he hugs his teammates after a race.
“It’s fine guys,” Matt says, “maybe when you’re done you can come hang out.”
“Yeah, of course,” Conor says and then drags Ricky, who’s half dressed, away and towards his dad.
“I don’t remember Mrs Smith assigning an extra credit project,” Nathan says and Matt just shrugs.
“I’m sure you don’t need it,” he says, “you’re good with English.” Nathan just nods, but he knows he would have remembered hearing something about it and suspects that his best friends are up to something. What exactly Nathan doesn’t know but he’s determined to get to the bottom of things as soon as he can.
Nathan calls his mom and she seems surprised that he’s actually spending time with Matt but she gives him the okay as long as he promises to be home by dinner. They end up at Matt’s place because there isn’t much to do around where they live. There’s the harbor and the mall but living so close to Baltimore means they’ve been there a thousand times before and it’s just easier to hang out at home and play video games or watch a movie.
Nathan hasn’t been to Matt’s in over a year but his room still looks the same. His bed is messy and there are clothes all over the floor but it still feels familiar, like it used to when they were kids.
Nathan takes a seat in the bean bag chair while Matt sits on his bed and they play an older version of Halo and eat sandwiches for lunch and things stop feeling weird for Nathan around noon. It feels like how it used to feel when they were younger and he wants to be pissed at Matt because they should have been hanging out like this all along not just because Matt feels bad about one missed night but Nathan just can’t bring himself to be angry.
He has to leave at four and Matt drops him off at his house and promises, promises, to keep next Friday open so that he can hang with them. Nathan doesn’t want to get his hopes up but he grins and says goodbye and eats dinner with his family.
After dinner he goes through his English folder and doesn’t find anything about an extra credit project. He calls Conor right away and when Conor answers he says, “Mrs Smith didn’t assign an extra credit project.”
Conor is silent. Nathan says, “Conor you lied to me. And Matt. And you dragged Ricky into it too and you’re doing something sneaky and you need to stop, right now.”
“Did you enjoy your afternoon with Matt?” Conor asks and ignores everything Nathan just said.
Nathan narrows his eyes even if Conor can’t see him. “Did you lie about a project so Matt and I could hang out alone?”
“Maybe,” Conor says slowly and messes around with something. “Are you going to thank me now or no?” Nathan hangs up.
ur welcome Conor texts him two seconds later. Nathan ignores the text and decides that Conor is a shitty, shitty friend.
part one part two part three part four AO3
matt grevers/nathan adrian
pg13, 14645 words
warnings for underage (they're both in high school; matt is 18 and nathan is 15) and curse words
“Dude,” Conor says at lunch, lips around a spoon as he eats his pudding. “This needs to stop.”
Nathan’s just about to stab his straw into his milk carton. “What?”
Conor takes his spoon out of his mouth. Ricky slips into the seat next to him and grabs the spoon, using it to take a bite out of Conor’s pudding. Conor makes a face and Ricky just grins.
“You’re lovesick,” Conor says simply.
“Wait,” Ricky says, “I thought we were going to do the intervention after lunch?”
“Intervention?” Nathan asks and looks at his friends like they’re crazy.
“We can’t,” Conor replies to Ricky and forcefully takes his spoon back. “Matt’s giving us a ride home.”
“I thought your dads were picking us up?” Nathan asks but gets ignored by his two best friends.
“Phelps-Lochte,” Ricky says, annoyed. “I’m not ready. I was going to prepare my notes during sixth.”
“Oh well,” Conor replies and adverts his attention from Ricky to Nathan. “You’re lovesick and this needs to stop.”
Nathan takes a sip of milk, confused. Usually he can follow along with whatever insane schemes his friends have come up with and usually talks them out of doing anything stupid but right now he’s completely lost. “What are you talking about Conor?”
“You’re in love with Matt,” Conor says and Nathan chokes on his milk. He grabs a napkin and wipes at his mouth before he can spit it out all over his new jeans. Conor continues, “I love you and I accept you but this needs to stop.”
“I’m not in love with Matt,” Nathan replies, saying each word slowly because he’s starting to believe his friends have some sort of mental affliction.
Ricky laughs and when Nathan doesn’t laugh with him he gets serious. “I’ve known you since you were six and you saying you’re not in love with Matt is like saying the Earth isn’t round.”
“But I’m not in love with Matt,” Nathan repeats.
Ricky and Conor both look serious. Conor eventually sighs and goes back to eating his pudding. “So, you’re not upset that Matt’s taking Annie to prom?”
“What?!” Nathan manages to knock over his milk into his mashed potatoes. Conor raises his eyebrow in that asshole way that he does and Ricky leans forward, chin in hand and looking like a completely smug dick.
Nathan flushes and resists the urge to flick them both off. “He didn’t tell me he was taking her to prom.”
“He hasn’t asked yet,” Conor replies, finally done with his pudding. Nathan glares. “But it’s like written in stone that they’re meant to go to prom together.”
Nathan feels his heart drop. He’s not in love with Matt. He’s not, but it still sort of sucks that Matt’s taking Annie to prom. Annie’s nice and all but sometimes she says sketchy things that make Nathan raise his eyebrow and they’ve always sort of had this thing where they like each other but they really don’t.
Nathan uses his fork to play with his mash potatoes-and-milk.
“I’m sorry,” Conor says and ruffles Nathan’s hair.
“It’s fine,” Nathan replies but doesn’t lift his head.
Sixth period kind of sucks. Nathan usually enjoys English, despite the fact that he has it with Tyler Clary, but it’s hard to concentrate on To Kill a Mockingbird when he keeps thinking about Matt and Annie at prom together.
Matt will probably ask Annie at like swim practice or something. And she’ll say yes and everyone will clap and the girls will go on about it for days. And then when prom rolls around they’ll probably go in a limo and Annie will wear something elegant and Matt will wear a tux. They’ll probably end up slow dancing and kissing under the moonlight or some cliché like that.
Hopefully Annie will end up wearing something gaudy and ugly and ruin the entire experience.
When the bell rings Nathan shuffles out of class and finds Ricky and Nathan hanging around Matt’s locker even though Matt’s not there. Ricky wraps an arm around Nathan’s shoulders and ruffles his hair and Nathan just hip checks him into the lockers as gently as he can.
“I’m not in love with Matt,” Nathan says while Conor gives him a sad look. He’s like fifteen and he doesn’t know what it’s like to be in love anyway, but if he was in love with Matt it would just make things more awkward than they already are.
Matt’s only three years older than Nathan, and that shouldn’t be a big deal, but it sort of is because being three years older means that they’ve rarely ever been in the same school at the same time, and because of that Nathan hasn’t seen much of Matt these past few years. It’s mostly okay because he has Ricky and Conor to fill the void and Matt’s always been really nice to them and gives them rides home but Matt’s a senior and has so many other things to worry about. There’s a disconnect between them that was never there before.
When Matt shows up he’s sweaty and his glasses are askew. “Sorry,” he says, “I couldn’t hear the bell ring in the weight room.” He’s still got on his gym shorts and workout shirt and yeah okay, if Nathan was in love with Matt he’d admit that Matt looks really good after a workout. Over the years Matt’s grown into his long face and tall stature and he’s built up a lot of muscle and he looks pretty damn good.
“What’s wrong?” Matt asks because Conor’s still looking at Nathan sadly and Ricky’s still got his arm wrapped around his shoulders. Nathan must look someone’s died because Matt sounds really concerned.
“Clary was just being a dick like usual,” Nathan replies because even though it’s sort of a lie and wrong to blame other people for his somewhat non-existent problems, everyone knows Clary’s a dick. It seems to pacify Matt because he just nods and gently shuffles Conor out of the way to get to his locker.
Nathan’s pretty sure that Conor’s dads were supposed to pick them up after school, a Friday night tradition, but they all shuffle into Matt’s car and join the other hundred something cars waiting for all the buses to leave so that they can go to Conor’s place for video games and pizza.
It’s quiet in the car, and sort of peaceful for them, and then Ricky asks Matt, “So, how are you going to ask Annie to prom?” and Nathan bumps his knees so hard into the back of Ricky’s seat that Ricky turns around to give him the stink eye.
Matt doesn’t reply right away and he looks a little uncomfortable. “Uh,” he finally says, “I haven’t thought of that yet.”
“Oh really?” Conor says and has this look on this face that Nathan doesn’t trust or like. It’s his sneaky face. The face he tries to use to pull one over on his dads or his teachers. “Are you thinking about asking someone else?”
Matt looks even more uncomfortable and finally manages to pull out of the school parking lot and onto the main road. It’s only a three minute drive and a five minute walk to Conor’s house but it’s Friday and no one wants to deal with the heat on a Friday. “I’m pretty sure I’m going with Annie.”
Something sinks in Nathan’s heart, which is such shit because he didn’t even care about prom until Ricky and Conor bought it up at lunch, but he puts on a grin and reaches around the head of the seat to clasp Matt on the shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll say yes no matter which way you ask her.”
Matt grins at him in the rearview mirror and Conor nudges his ankle with the tip of his shoe. When Nathan looks at him and Conor mouths what are you doing and Nathan just mouths back I’m not in love with him.
Matt can’t stick around which all in all sucks, but it’s not like they’re used to Matt hanging out with them anyway. “Sorry,” he says, “I promised to hang out with Annie tonight.”
They watch Matt pull out of the driveway and drive down the road, and then Ricky makes a mad dash into the house before Nathan can strangle him.
“Ricky!” Nathan yells after he trips over Ricky’s backpack lying in front of the open door. “I’m going to kill you!”
“What?!” Ricky yells from the kitchen. “You said you weren’t in love with him!”
“Dude he’s right,” Conor says from behind Nathan. “If you’re not in love with him you can’t get angry at him for asking a question.”
“You!” Nathan says. “This is your fault too!”
Conor is slowly inching towards the stairs. Nathan can’t get his hands around both of their necks at the same time if they’re in two different rooms at two different levels. Nathan decides Conor is closer and lurches forward but Conor goes running up the stairs screaming, Nathan lumbering up the stairs after him.
Nathan trips on a discarded shoe but manages to get a hand around Conor’s ankle and drag him down. “No!” Conor yells and kicks but Nathan gets his other ankle too. “Dad!”
“Conor,” Michael Phelps calls from somewhere upstairs, “if you did something stupid I can’t stop Nathan from killing you.”
“I’m not in love with Matt!” Nathan yells and struggles to keep Conor’s ankles in his grasp. Conor’s like the rest of them; still gangly and awkward with his limbs way too long for his body but he’s got strength in his legs from dolphin kicks and it’s not like how it used to be when they were kids. Nathan was always taller and bigger but now Conor’s caught up to him in height, for now, and if Conor doesn’t stop trying to kick him in the face they’re both going to go rolling down the stairs and snap their necks.
Conor finally manages to get free and he runs the rest of the way up the stairs and into his bedroom but Nathan is hot on his heels and manages to tackle his best friend to the floor before Conor can close the door. Nathan straddles Conor and it would be awkward and weird if it wasn’t them, but he pushes down on Conor’s shoulders and squeezes instead of doing the alternative and actually choking Conor.
“I don’t like Matt like that and if I did it was such an asshole thing for you two to bring up prom!”
Conor is struggling beneath him and trying to buck up to dislodge Nathan but it isn’t working. “If you don’t like Matt like that then why are you upset that he’s taking Annie to prom?!”
“Because - !” Nathan can’t think of a reason why he’s upset he just knows that he is and Nathan and Ricky continue to make it worse.
“Boys,” Mike says from the doorway. Ricky is standing behind him smiling like a dick and Michael doesn’t look impressed, at all. “Is there something you need to tell me?”
“What?” Nathan asks and then looks down at Conor. “Oh,” he says once he realizes what position they’ve gotten themselves into. He rolls off of Conor but not before kneeing him in the side.
“Ow!” Conor says and grabs his side dramatically. “Dad, do you see how they treat me!?”
Mike raises his eyebrow. “I’m sure you deserved it.”
Michael Phelps-Lochte is like one of the best dads ever in Nathan’s opinion because he knows just how much of an asshole his own kid can be and rarely ever shows him sympathy when Conor does asshole things like repeatedly try to convince his best friend that he’s in love with another guy (which he isn’t!) and then bring up prom when he knows how much it upsets said best friend.
“I’m ordering pizza and your dad and I need you guys to help us bring in the Speedo boxes from the garage and Conor,” Mike waits for Conor to look at him, “stop being an asshole to your friends. Next time I am going to let Nathan strangle you.” Ricky snickers. “You too, Ricky.” Ricky stops snickering.
Mike leaves them to do whatever. Ricky collapses on the floor on Conor’s other side and Nathan leans against Conor’s bed.
“So,” Conor says and looks up at the ceiling, “in all seriousness, why are you upset that Matt’s taking Annie to prom?”
Nathan shrugs and plays with a stray string on his sock. “I don’t know. It’s just like, since Annie came along Matt doesn’t hang out with us, you know?”
Ricky and Conor nod. “But he’s like older,” Ricky says, “this is like the first time in six years we’ve been in the same school together.”
“I know,” Nathan says, “and he still rather hang out with Annie than us.”
“Annie is sort of his girlfriend,” Conor says and then frowns when Nathan glares at him. “All I’m saying is he’s supposed to hang out with her and we all knew that he was going to take her to prom anyway, you’re just super sensitive about and even if you don’t think you’re in love with Matt you got to admit you were kind of in love with him when we were kids. And you like him a lot more than you like Ricky and I.”
“I do not,” Nathan replies, defensive. He likes Ricky and Conor, hell, he even loves them like he loves his own family because Ricky and Conor are family to him, but Matt - Nathan’s not sure about Matt. When he was a kid things were different because they saw each other every day and Matt was his best friend, but then Conor came along, and Ricky was always there but they all got closer, and then all of a sudden Matt wasn’t there anymore because he was at a different school and Matt kind of just slipped out of his life. Nathan doesn’t hate Matt or dislike him, obviously, and he doesn’t blame Matt for them growing apart because it’s not his fault that he’s older, but Nathan knows he’s not in love with him. “And I wasn’t in love with him as a kid.”
Conor and Ricky both snort their disbelief. “Remember that one time he surprised you by showing up to your ninth birthday party?” Ricky says. “I swear you almost pissed your pants.”
“I did not!” Nathan grabs a dirty sock off the floor and throws it at Ricky. It lands on his chest and Ricky laughs before he balls it up and throws it back at Nathan. He misses and it skids off Conor’s bed and disappears into a corner.
“You so did dude,” Conor says and sits up. “But you know Ricky and I wouldn’t care if you were in love with him, right?”
Nathan raises his eyebrow and then rolls his eyes. “Really? Being raised by two dudes didn’t tell me at all that you were fine with me being gay.”
There’s a pause and then Ricky asks, “So you are gay?”
Nathan’s never really thought about it before. He knows he likes girls because he has a crush on a senior in his art class named Natalie Coughlin and he’ll never admit it to Conor or Ricky or anyone but for the longest time ever he had a crush on Mike, which was absolutely horrifying because Mike’s not only Conor’s dad but he’s also kind of like a second dad to Nathan and way older, but he’s never really thought about his sexuality. He’s fifteen; he has like five more years to really figure that stuff out.
“I guess?” He says and stands up. “I mean I like Natalie Coughlin and I guess dudes are hot?”
“Okay dude,” Conor says and punches Nathan gently in the leg. “Just do you.”
Conor must have gotten that piece of advice from Ryan because it doesn’t make much sense.
Mike orders them greasy cheese pizza and then forces them to help him bring in donations from Speedo. There are boxes and boxes full of swim caps and goggles and swimsuits crowding the garage and living room and Mike even lets them pick out some stuff to keep
.
“Speedo really just gave you all this stuff?” Nathan asks as he shifts through another box of swim caps. He’s in charge of counting and making sure that they have enough caps for the kids at the clinic Mike’s teaching next week, minus the ones he Ricky and Conor are allowed to have.
“Of course they did,” Ricky says and dumps another box onto the floor, “he’s Michael Phelps.”
“Phelps-Lochte,” Ryan says and finally makes an appearance for the first time. He’s carrying Carter in his arms because Carter is old and has arthritis in his hips and can’t climb stairs anymore. He puts Carter on the floor next to Nathan and then ruffles his hair.
“Speedo’s Dad’s bitch,” Conor says and bumps fists with Ryan.
“Conor,” Mike says and shakes his head. “What did I tell you about cursing?”
“It’s not a jeah?” Conor replies sheepishly and gently pulls Carter closer. Carter looks drugged and probably is. Conor frowns at him and kisses his head. It completely wrecked the Phelps-Lochte house last year when Herman passed away from cancer and Nathan spent an entire weekend at the house just to be with Conor in his time of need. If Carter dies soon Nathan’s sure Conor’s going to go straight into a downward spiral along with the rest of his family.
They spend the rest of the night organizing and loading the boxes into the back of Mike and Ryan’s cars and eating pizza and playing video games off the new Xbox. Ricky and Nathan share the bed in the spare room that used to be an art studio when they get too tired to beat each other’s asses in Madden and in the morning Ryan makes them pancakes and then drives them to the pool for practice.
Matt is already there with Annie and Conor kind of just nudges Nathan to the other side of the pool. Seeing Matt with Annie puts Nathan into a bad mood and his sets get sloppy. It’s not that Nathan doesn’t like Annie, it’s just that Matt could do better, like way better, and be with someone who doesn’t make racist comments or be mean to a kid just because he’s in the first grade or whatever.
After practice Matt comes up to them and surprisingly Annie isn’t with him.
“Sorry I had to ditch yesterday,” Matt says and looks genuine about his apology, “but do you guys want to hang out today?”
Nathan has a paper to write for English and an Earth Science test on Monday to study for but Matt’s asking to hang out and Nathan isn’t going to tell him no.
“Yeah,” Nathan says and grins but beside him Ricky and Conor jostle each other before Conor says, “sorry dude uh, Ricky and I have a big project to finish.”
Ricky and Conor only have one class together and that’s English. Even though Nathan’s not in the same period as them he has the same teacher and he doesn’t remember anything about a project. “What project?”
“Uh,” Ricky says, “for English?”
Nathan is instantly suspicious. “I don’t remember Mrs Smith assigning a project.”
“Yeah, well, it’s for extra credit,” Conor replies and dries off his hair. “You wouldn’t know anything about it because you’re a genius.”
Nathan’s about to say something but Matt just laughs and wraps an arm around his shoulder. Matt’s four inches taller but Nathan’s mother keeps claiming that he’s going to shoot up in height soon and just be as tall as Matt, which seems impossible because Matt’s huge. They’re both still in their Speedos and Matt’s bare skin against his own makes Nathan feel hot in a way that it doesn’t when he hugs his teammates after a race.
“It’s fine guys,” Matt says, “maybe when you’re done you can come hang out.”
“Yeah, of course,” Conor says and then drags Ricky, who’s half dressed, away and towards his dad.
“I don’t remember Mrs Smith assigning an extra credit project,” Nathan says and Matt just shrugs.
“I’m sure you don’t need it,” he says, “you’re good with English.” Nathan just nods, but he knows he would have remembered hearing something about it and suspects that his best friends are up to something. What exactly Nathan doesn’t know but he’s determined to get to the bottom of things as soon as he can.
Nathan calls his mom and she seems surprised that he’s actually spending time with Matt but she gives him the okay as long as he promises to be home by dinner. They end up at Matt’s place because there isn’t much to do around where they live. There’s the harbor and the mall but living so close to Baltimore means they’ve been there a thousand times before and it’s just easier to hang out at home and play video games or watch a movie.
Nathan hasn’t been to Matt’s in over a year but his room still looks the same. His bed is messy and there are clothes all over the floor but it still feels familiar, like it used to when they were kids.
Nathan takes a seat in the bean bag chair while Matt sits on his bed and they play an older version of Halo and eat sandwiches for lunch and things stop feeling weird for Nathan around noon. It feels like how it used to feel when they were younger and he wants to be pissed at Matt because they should have been hanging out like this all along not just because Matt feels bad about one missed night but Nathan just can’t bring himself to be angry.
He has to leave at four and Matt drops him off at his house and promises, promises, to keep next Friday open so that he can hang with them. Nathan doesn’t want to get his hopes up but he grins and says goodbye and eats dinner with his family.
After dinner he goes through his English folder and doesn’t find anything about an extra credit project. He calls Conor right away and when Conor answers he says, “Mrs Smith didn’t assign an extra credit project.”
Conor is silent. Nathan says, “Conor you lied to me. And Matt. And you dragged Ricky into it too and you’re doing something sneaky and you need to stop, right now.”
“Did you enjoy your afternoon with Matt?” Conor asks and ignores everything Nathan just said.
Nathan narrows his eyes even if Conor can’t see him. “Did you lie about a project so Matt and I could hang out alone?”
“Maybe,” Conor says slowly and messes around with something. “Are you going to thank me now or no?” Nathan hangs up.
ur welcome Conor texts him two seconds later. Nathan ignores the text and decides that Conor is a shitty, shitty friend.
part one part two part three part four AO3