[Kyuhyun/Henry] Left Unsaid
Title: Left Unsaid
Pairing: Kyuhyun&Henry
Raiting: R
Warnings: Rape
Summary: We take out our frustrations on the people closest to us. Sometimes, we just don't see how much we're hurting them.
Kyuhyun's eyes widen at the sound of a creaking door, fast-typing fingers slowing down as he strains his ears to listen for signs. He doesn't dare glance at his bedroom door, eye contact not high on his list of accidental occurrences, but he does realize who his company is merely by listening. He knows the slamming of the front door too well by now. He's familiar with the slow footsteps, always toward the kitchen in the distance at first, but always leading to his room: Never before his room, never past it. These alone, though never solely these signs, are enough to tip Kyuhyun off.
He gulps a poisonous blend of anxiety and reluctance. Resistance is futile; funny, he'd just been cursing that exact phrase at his opponents from a StarCraft game earlier that morning, albeit jokingly. He does remember, though, the time he had resisted. By no means had he succeeded, and by no means had it made the experience less difficult to overcome. He doesn't, however, remember if there'd been punishments for his deviance. If there had been, it'd blended in with actions intended from the start.
Well, perhaps not by intent. Kyuhyun doesn't really know. They don't really talk much about it afterwards. Kyuhyun is always scared to mention anything afterward, and he usually drowns himself in computer games as a means of distraction. He understands why it happens, not that he agrees with its occurrence, but there is still some understanding nevertheless. And, perhaps, one reason why Kyuhyun doesn't mention it or do anything to prevent it anymore is because he knows it's necessary. Not for him, certainly, but everyone has his own coping--
"Kyuhyun," a low voice whispers from his bedroom door, and Kyuhyun forces himself to turn his head back. As expected, as always, or at least in times such as this, Henry stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame slightly. His hair is a mess, disheveled and sweat-laden; and his clothes reflect a similar state of appearance, black wife-beater sweat-stained beneath a wrinkled, unbuttoned dress shirt. Kyuhyun suspects he'd just returned from a date, but he's never really sure. With Henry, it could be anything, though he's quite sure it always involves some girl he met at the club.
"Welcome back," Kyuhyun greets quietly, eyes fixated on Henry's shirt and not his eyes. He knows what's about to happen, he's long past denial, yet there's still some form of hope that courses his train of thought, that maybe just this once things won't go the way they always do. He holds this hope every time, yet it never pulls through. And, judging by the way Henry sighs heavily and begins to tread the unfortunate path towards Kyuhyun's computer chair, Kyuhyun decides tonight is no exception.
"I just... don't..." Henry trails off, running a hand through his relatively short hair, fingers and teeth clenching in frustration. Kyuhyun's heard it before, even if Henry can't bring himself to say it this time. Why won't any girl truly love him? Why does love have to feel like such a goose chase? Why do all the girls who enter meaningful relationships with him end up dumping him in the end? And before Kyuhyun realizes it he's being lifted from his chair, pulled by his shirt collar, and thrown onto his bed, face first.
He doesn't exactly agree, but he doesn't resist. Henry needs this right now. And even though they could just as well sit down over a cup of coffee and talk about the girl that ditched him this time, he knows Henry's not currently in that kind of state of mind. So he says nothing. Even as he feels Henry climbing on top of him, the younger man's weight pinning their lower halves together; even as he feels Henry's hand against his body, needing and desperate touches sating his captor's loneliness; even as pants, boxers slip away, when the cool air of the room is no longer the only thing pressed against Kyuhyun's ass: Kyuhyun does not protest.
It hurts, naturally. Because even still, after all is said and done, Kyuhyun actually cares for Henry. More than he should. It's not how he imagines it, nor is it how he'd like things to be. But he does find Henry physically attractive, especially recently. But Kyuhyun does worry about the younger man. He actually does care about the things that cause Henry to force Kyuhyun against his will, even if he seldom voices his dissent. Perhaps, all of this is yet another reason he can't bring himself to tell Henry to stop, because maybe this is the only way Kyuhyun can ever have Henry.
And then, it hurts under a completely different light. Kyuhyun screams, loudly. He'd learned once, towards the beginning, that the only thing Henry likes more than vocal sex partners is a pillow biter, but tonight would not be the latter. And sure, he's done it before, but it doesn't make the lack of prep or the lack of lubrication any less painful.
"Henry..." Kyuhyun whimpers, trembling slightly, fingers digging into the bedsheets, and he can feel Henry's grasp on his hands tighten. "Henry, please...."
"Oppa" Henry corrects, and Kyuhyun bites back all retort. The pain has swallowed his pride.
"...Oppa, please..." He's unsure whether Henry ignores the request or misinterprets it, but either way he does not give Kyuhyun the break he wants. He only further tightens his hold on Kyuhyun's hands and body before thrusting again mercilessly. Kyuhyun feels the younger man's mouth against his neck as he screams a second time, this time burying his face into the mattress to suppress his volume. But his body is exploding, the pain overwhelming, and though he says it every time, he's still certain he can't endure any more than he already has.
"Shh," Henry whispers, though his reassurances lack the gentleness typically expected; a third thrust of his hips causes Kyuhyun to whine in pain once more. "Shh, Oppa is here..."
"He--Oppa, it hurts..." But Henry only continues to whisper into his ear, continuing his thrusts, and it's not long before empty reassurances lapse into throaty grunts of ecstasy. And though Kyuhyun's body still courses explosive pain, he slowly can't help but to groan in unison.
It's still against Kyuhyun's will, even if he fantasizes this on nights Henry is out sleeping with his next attempt at a girlfriend, even if he dreams of white bedsheets and dim-lit candles, even if in his mind Henry allows Kyuhyun to moan Henry's name and not Oppa. It hurts physically, but it hurts most because it's everything he wants, yet nothing is the way it's meant to be. But even still, it's everything he'll ever manage.
In time, as Kyuhyun disillusions himself, as his physical and mental state take over his awareness, Henry finds release. He slumps on top of Kyuhyun afterward, exhausted and overwhelmed, but he misses Kyuhyun's whimpers and near-silent tears entirely.
Kyuhyun, on the other hand, does not miss Henry's last words of the night.
"No one loves Oppa... but you always will, won't you?"
Yes, Kyuhyun says to no one. Yes, I will.
Kyuhyun wakes up the following morning to an empty bed. Not that he'd expected Henry to stay, though he doesn't know what he'd do if Henry had stayed anyway. But his bed still smells faintly of him, if not sex, and it all sets a frown on his face before he slowly clamors out of his room.
He finds Henry in the kitchen. He hesitates to make eye-contact, allowing his rumbling stomach to be his scapegoat as he searches for food instead. Henry mutters some sort of good morning, to which he forcefully returns the greeting, but that's all that is said until he finds his way back to the kitchen table.
It is at the table, while eating, when he forces himself to look up at the younger man. And perhaps to his chagrin, he finds Henry beaming at him.
"I called her this morning," Henry says brightly, eyes lighting up at he speaks, and Kyuhyun can't help but to notice that Henry is making the assumption that they've talked about this before (Kyuyhyun, incidentally, has no idea who 'she' is). "She says she wants to start going steady!"
It isn't quite as dramatic as dropping glass onto a cold stone floor and having it shatter into a thousand pieces, but Kyuhyun feels as if he's just understood that feeling, even if his heart is not made of glass. But still, even now, in light of everything he chooses to remain unsaid, even if in the aftermath, Kyuhyun says nothing.
He smiles forcibly. For Henry.
And that is enough.
Pairing: Kyuhyun&Henry
Raiting: R
Warnings: Rape
Summary: We take out our frustrations on the people closest to us. Sometimes, we just don't see how much we're hurting them.
Kyuhyun's eyes widen at the sound of a creaking door, fast-typing fingers slowing down as he strains his ears to listen for signs. He doesn't dare glance at his bedroom door, eye contact not high on his list of accidental occurrences, but he does realize who his company is merely by listening. He knows the slamming of the front door too well by now. He's familiar with the slow footsteps, always toward the kitchen in the distance at first, but always leading to his room: Never before his room, never past it. These alone, though never solely these signs, are enough to tip Kyuhyun off.
He gulps a poisonous blend of anxiety and reluctance. Resistance is futile; funny, he'd just been cursing that exact phrase at his opponents from a StarCraft game earlier that morning, albeit jokingly. He does remember, though, the time he had resisted. By no means had he succeeded, and by no means had it made the experience less difficult to overcome. He doesn't, however, remember if there'd been punishments for his deviance. If there had been, it'd blended in with actions intended from the start.
Well, perhaps not by intent. Kyuhyun doesn't really know. They don't really talk much about it afterwards. Kyuhyun is always scared to mention anything afterward, and he usually drowns himself in computer games as a means of distraction. He understands why it happens, not that he agrees with its occurrence, but there is still some understanding nevertheless. And, perhaps, one reason why Kyuhyun doesn't mention it or do anything to prevent it anymore is because he knows it's necessary. Not for him, certainly, but everyone has his own coping--
"Kyuhyun," a low voice whispers from his bedroom door, and Kyuhyun forces himself to turn his head back. As expected, as always, or at least in times such as this, Henry stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame slightly. His hair is a mess, disheveled and sweat-laden; and his clothes reflect a similar state of appearance, black wife-beater sweat-stained beneath a wrinkled, unbuttoned dress shirt. Kyuhyun suspects he'd just returned from a date, but he's never really sure. With Henry, it could be anything, though he's quite sure it always involves some girl he met at the club.
"Welcome back," Kyuhyun greets quietly, eyes fixated on Henry's shirt and not his eyes. He knows what's about to happen, he's long past denial, yet there's still some form of hope that courses his train of thought, that maybe just this once things won't go the way they always do. He holds this hope every time, yet it never pulls through. And, judging by the way Henry sighs heavily and begins to tread the unfortunate path towards Kyuhyun's computer chair, Kyuhyun decides tonight is no exception.
"I just... don't..." Henry trails off, running a hand through his relatively short hair, fingers and teeth clenching in frustration. Kyuhyun's heard it before, even if Henry can't bring himself to say it this time. Why won't any girl truly love him? Why does love have to feel like such a goose chase? Why do all the girls who enter meaningful relationships with him end up dumping him in the end? And before Kyuhyun realizes it he's being lifted from his chair, pulled by his shirt collar, and thrown onto his bed, face first.
He doesn't exactly agree, but he doesn't resist. Henry needs this right now. And even though they could just as well sit down over a cup of coffee and talk about the girl that ditched him this time, he knows Henry's not currently in that kind of state of mind. So he says nothing. Even as he feels Henry climbing on top of him, the younger man's weight pinning their lower halves together; even as he feels Henry's hand against his body, needing and desperate touches sating his captor's loneliness; even as pants, boxers slip away, when the cool air of the room is no longer the only thing pressed against Kyuhyun's ass: Kyuhyun does not protest.
It hurts, naturally. Because even still, after all is said and done, Kyuhyun actually cares for Henry. More than he should. It's not how he imagines it, nor is it how he'd like things to be. But he does find Henry physically attractive, especially recently. But Kyuhyun does worry about the younger man. He actually does care about the things that cause Henry to force Kyuhyun against his will, even if he seldom voices his dissent. Perhaps, all of this is yet another reason he can't bring himself to tell Henry to stop, because maybe this is the only way Kyuhyun can ever have Henry.
And then, it hurts under a completely different light. Kyuhyun screams, loudly. He'd learned once, towards the beginning, that the only thing Henry likes more than vocal sex partners is a pillow biter, but tonight would not be the latter. And sure, he's done it before, but it doesn't make the lack of prep or the lack of lubrication any less painful.
"Henry..." Kyuhyun whimpers, trembling slightly, fingers digging into the bedsheets, and he can feel Henry's grasp on his hands tighten. "Henry, please...."
"Oppa" Henry corrects, and Kyuhyun bites back all retort. The pain has swallowed his pride.
"...Oppa, please..." He's unsure whether Henry ignores the request or misinterprets it, but either way he does not give Kyuhyun the break he wants. He only further tightens his hold on Kyuhyun's hands and body before thrusting again mercilessly. Kyuhyun feels the younger man's mouth against his neck as he screams a second time, this time burying his face into the mattress to suppress his volume. But his body is exploding, the pain overwhelming, and though he says it every time, he's still certain he can't endure any more than he already has.
"Shh," Henry whispers, though his reassurances lack the gentleness typically expected; a third thrust of his hips causes Kyuhyun to whine in pain once more. "Shh, Oppa is here..."
"He--Oppa, it hurts..." But Henry only continues to whisper into his ear, continuing his thrusts, and it's not long before empty reassurances lapse into throaty grunts of ecstasy. And though Kyuhyun's body still courses explosive pain, he slowly can't help but to groan in unison.
It's still against Kyuhyun's will, even if he fantasizes this on nights Henry is out sleeping with his next attempt at a girlfriend, even if he dreams of white bedsheets and dim-lit candles, even if in his mind Henry allows Kyuhyun to moan Henry's name and not Oppa. It hurts physically, but it hurts most because it's everything he wants, yet nothing is the way it's meant to be. But even still, it's everything he'll ever manage.
In time, as Kyuhyun disillusions himself, as his physical and mental state take over his awareness, Henry finds release. He slumps on top of Kyuhyun afterward, exhausted and overwhelmed, but he misses Kyuhyun's whimpers and near-silent tears entirely.
Kyuhyun, on the other hand, does not miss Henry's last words of the night.
"No one loves Oppa... but you always will, won't you?"
Yes, Kyuhyun says to no one. Yes, I will.
Kyuhyun wakes up the following morning to an empty bed. Not that he'd expected Henry to stay, though he doesn't know what he'd do if Henry had stayed anyway. But his bed still smells faintly of him, if not sex, and it all sets a frown on his face before he slowly clamors out of his room.
He finds Henry in the kitchen. He hesitates to make eye-contact, allowing his rumbling stomach to be his scapegoat as he searches for food instead. Henry mutters some sort of good morning, to which he forcefully returns the greeting, but that's all that is said until he finds his way back to the kitchen table.
It is at the table, while eating, when he forces himself to look up at the younger man. And perhaps to his chagrin, he finds Henry beaming at him.
"I called her this morning," Henry says brightly, eyes lighting up at he speaks, and Kyuhyun can't help but to notice that Henry is making the assumption that they've talked about this before (Kyuyhyun, incidentally, has no idea who 'she' is). "She says she wants to start going steady!"
It isn't quite as dramatic as dropping glass onto a cold stone floor and having it shatter into a thousand pieces, but Kyuhyun feels as if he's just understood that feeling, even if his heart is not made of glass. But still, even now, in light of everything he chooses to remain unsaid, even if in the aftermath, Kyuhyun says nothing.
He smiles forcibly. For Henry.
And that is enough.