[Kibum] The Art of Deceptive Annoyance
Title: The Art of Deceptive Annoyance
Pairing: Kibum centric... possible Kibum pairing at the end
Rating: PG13
Summary: Kibum is pestered with advice. Annoyed Kibum is annoyed.
Notes: Possible stereotypes exploited. Also guys, if you have the time, can you read this post too? Thanks so much.
Kibum is watching television when Leeteuk plops into the space next to him, smile bright and full of the cheery mood that defines their leader.
"You should really promote 5jib with us," Leeteuk says conversationally, and Kibum quirks an eyebrow.
"Hyung--"
"You should really consider it," Leeteuk repeats, and before Kibum can question further the man gets up and walks away.
"..."
Kibum is reading a book when Heechul bursts into his room.
"5jib!" Heechul all but shouts, twirling a finger through his hair - wait, was that a wig, or had Kibum just not notice how long it'd grown recently? "Hop on board, the ride's just begun."
But before Kibum can comment further, Heechul turns heel - wait, was he actually wearing six-inch heels, or had that just been his imagine - and begins to sing English songs with mediocre pronunciation at obnoxiously high pitches.
"..."
Kibum is cleaning his glasses when Heechul screams: Han Geng has finally decided to Skype them.
Everyone gathers around the computer screen excitedly, hopes high - but all Han Geng says is "Kibum, do 5jib with your hyungs" before ending the video call short.
"..."
Kibum is watching a movie when Kyuhyun seats himself next to him, computer on lap, and headphones plugged in.
"Not just your hyungs, but your dongsaeng too," is all Kyuhyun says, quietly and calmly, as if he weren't beating the shit out of some random StarCraft player at the same time. It takes Kibum a few seconds to realize what he's talking about, but he can't really respond anyway since Kyuhyun's headphones are blasting sweet sounds of victory.
"..."
Kibum is deciding on what to eat from the fridge when Shindong taps his shoulder lightly.
"I don't feel like rapping anymore," is all he says before reaching into the fridge, grabbing an apple or three, and leaving Kibum in the silence of the kitchen.
"..."
Kibum is taking a shower when Sungmin enters the bathroom and begins brushing his teeth.
"Ffnsabjfbgsafgtsagdgbska" is what it sounds like Sungmin is saying, but Kibum knows what he's actually saying is "5jib will be lonely without you." And almost to his expectation, by the time Kibum's finished his shower, Sungmin's already finished.
"..."
Kibum is doing absolutely nothing when a letter from Kangin falls into his lap.
"At least you get the choice to promote 5jib. I don't."
Kibum feels too guilty to even comment afterwards.
Kibum is talking on the phone when Yesung walks into his room, turtle in hand.
"Ddangkoma will be very upset if he doesn't see you on stage," says Yesung, and before Kibum can tell his conversationalist to hold, Yesung leaves.
"..."
Kibum is eating lunch when Donghae sits on his lap.
"Kibum! The fans will be really sad if you don't promote with us D:!"
"...get off me, hyung."
"But Kibum! Please :(?"
"..."
Kibum is doing sit ups when Siwon enters the room shirtless.
Kibum decides to head him off. "Let me guess: 5jib?"
"Actually, I just wanted to see who could do the most crunches. But that too."
"..."
Kibum is cooking himself some ramen when Ryeowook comes pouting.
"I won't cook for you anymore if you don't promote with us!"
"I can cook food for myself," Kibum replies smoothly, motioning to the stove. "Point invalid."
"...if you promote with us, I'll tell Donghae not to molest you on stage? And, I'll pay for a round of drinks."
"..."
Kibum is attempting to booty dance when Zhou Mi catches him in the act.
"I-I can explain!" Kibum stutters, but stops immediately when Zhou Mi shoves a dress in front of his face.
"Start acting like you're a member of Super Junior!" he exclaims, shaking the dress in front of his face. "Otherwise, I'll make Henry tie you up and force this dress on you!"
Kibum's eyes form glass balls. "...you okay? - And wait, why do you need Henry to--"
"Super Junior. Dress. Which is it going to be?"
"..."
Kibum is watching his cactus grow when Eunhyuk marches into his room.
"I'll delete your porn if you don't promote with us."
"What porn." Kibum challenges, but Eunhyuk merely raises an eyebrow. "...Oh no, you wouldn't dare."
"I would."
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."
"..."
Kibum is feeding Heechul's cat when Henry walks cautiously into the room, and either because Kibum's not supposed to be there or because of Zhou Mi's threats, Kibum freaks the fuck out.
"Kibum-hyung," Henry begins, slowly moving forward, "Will you--"
"OKAY FINE, I'LL DO IT," Kibum interjects, panicking, and the relief on Henry's face is unmistakable.
"You will? That's wonderful, I never thought you'd agree to go on a date with me!"
"Yes, alright, I'll do i--wait, what?!" And as Henry walks away from the room blissfully, Kibum catches eleven men crowded around the door in the hallway, snickering amongst themselves.
"Mission accomplished :D!" he catches a not so discreet Donghae cheering, and for sure Kibum's been had.
"..."
FIN
Ficcing because I need to get over my block. If you have time, you'd really do me a favor if you read this post too, guys. :)
Pairing: Kibum centric... possible Kibum pairing at the end
Rating: PG13
Summary: Kibum is pestered with advice. Annoyed Kibum is annoyed.
Notes: Possible stereotypes exploited. Also guys, if you have the time, can you read this post too? Thanks so much.
Kibum is watching television when Leeteuk plops into the space next to him, smile bright and full of the cheery mood that defines their leader.
"You should really promote 5jib with us," Leeteuk says conversationally, and Kibum quirks an eyebrow.
"Hyung--"
"You should really consider it," Leeteuk repeats, and before Kibum can question further the man gets up and walks away.
"..."
Kibum is reading a book when Heechul bursts into his room.
"5jib!" Heechul all but shouts, twirling a finger through his hair - wait, was that a wig, or had Kibum just not notice how long it'd grown recently? "Hop on board, the ride's just begun."
But before Kibum can comment further, Heechul turns heel - wait, was he actually wearing six-inch heels, or had that just been his imagine - and begins to sing English songs with mediocre pronunciation at obnoxiously high pitches.
"..."
Kibum is cleaning his glasses when Heechul screams: Han Geng has finally decided to Skype them.
Everyone gathers around the computer screen excitedly, hopes high - but all Han Geng says is "Kibum, do 5jib with your hyungs" before ending the video call short.
"..."
Kibum is watching a movie when Kyuhyun seats himself next to him, computer on lap, and headphones plugged in.
"Not just your hyungs, but your dongsaeng too," is all Kyuhyun says, quietly and calmly, as if he weren't beating the shit out of some random StarCraft player at the same time. It takes Kibum a few seconds to realize what he's talking about, but he can't really respond anyway since Kyuhyun's headphones are blasting sweet sounds of victory.
"..."
Kibum is deciding on what to eat from the fridge when Shindong taps his shoulder lightly.
"I don't feel like rapping anymore," is all he says before reaching into the fridge, grabbing an apple or three, and leaving Kibum in the silence of the kitchen.
"..."
Kibum is taking a shower when Sungmin enters the bathroom and begins brushing his teeth.
"Ffnsabjfbgsafgtsagdgbska" is what it sounds like Sungmin is saying, but Kibum knows what he's actually saying is "5jib will be lonely without you." And almost to his expectation, by the time Kibum's finished his shower, Sungmin's already finished.
"..."
Kibum is doing absolutely nothing when a letter from Kangin falls into his lap.
"At least you get the choice to promote 5jib. I don't."
Kibum feels too guilty to even comment afterwards.
Kibum is talking on the phone when Yesung walks into his room, turtle in hand.
"Ddangkoma will be very upset if he doesn't see you on stage," says Yesung, and before Kibum can tell his conversationalist to hold, Yesung leaves.
"..."
Kibum is eating lunch when Donghae sits on his lap.
"Kibum! The fans will be really sad if you don't promote with us D:!"
"...get off me, hyung."
"But Kibum! Please :(?"
"..."
Kibum is doing sit ups when Siwon enters the room shirtless.
Kibum decides to head him off. "Let me guess: 5jib?"
"Actually, I just wanted to see who could do the most crunches. But that too."
"..."
Kibum is cooking himself some ramen when Ryeowook comes pouting.
"I won't cook for you anymore if you don't promote with us!"
"I can cook food for myself," Kibum replies smoothly, motioning to the stove. "Point invalid."
"...if you promote with us, I'll tell Donghae not to molest you on stage? And, I'll pay for a round of drinks."
"..."
Kibum is attempting to booty dance when Zhou Mi catches him in the act.
"I-I can explain!" Kibum stutters, but stops immediately when Zhou Mi shoves a dress in front of his face.
"Start acting like you're a member of Super Junior!" he exclaims, shaking the dress in front of his face. "Otherwise, I'll make Henry tie you up and force this dress on you!"
Kibum's eyes form glass balls. "...you okay? - And wait, why do you need Henry to--"
"Super Junior. Dress. Which is it going to be?"
"..."
Kibum is watching his cactus grow when Eunhyuk marches into his room.
"I'll delete your porn if you don't promote with us."
"What porn." Kibum challenges, but Eunhyuk merely raises an eyebrow. "...Oh no, you wouldn't dare."
"I would."
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."
"..."
Kibum is feeding Heechul's cat when Henry walks cautiously into the room, and either because Kibum's not supposed to be there or because of Zhou Mi's threats, Kibum freaks the fuck out.
"Kibum-hyung," Henry begins, slowly moving forward, "Will you--"
"OKAY FINE, I'LL DO IT," Kibum interjects, panicking, and the relief on Henry's face is unmistakable.
"You will? That's wonderful, I never thought you'd agree to go on a date with me!"
"Yes, alright, I'll do i--wait, what?!" And as Henry walks away from the room blissfully, Kibum catches eleven men crowded around the door in the hallway, snickering amongst themselves.
"Mission accomplished :D!" he catches a not so discreet Donghae cheering, and for sure Kibum's been had.
"..."
FIN
Ficcing because I need to get over my block. If you have time, you'd really do me a favor if you read this post too, guys. :)