Comments | gate_expert: [TR, for Jack and Juliet]

gate_expert

[TR, for Jack and Juliet]

Jan 08, 2011 15:50

When Sam woke, way too early--it was still dark out--she just didn't feel quite right. She tried to brush it off as maybe just that the boar burger she'd had last night hadn't quite agreed with her, so she got up quietly, trying not to bother Jack, and went to sit up for a little while, wrapping up in a blanket even though it was pretty warm again ( Read more... )

tr, jack, juliet

Comments 30

has_2ls January 8 2011, 21:04:26 UTC

Jack hadn't been this angry in a long time. Normally his anger was loud and explosive and usually resulted in a good deal of property damage but this was more subtle and quiet; this anger was a slow burn deep down and full of frustration.

This was his chance. He'd lost Charlie because he'd been an idiot but this was random and it was stupid. There was nothing he or Sam could have done to prevent losing the baby and at least, with Charlie, Jack had something to dwell over. Nothing to dwell on here.

"You need anything right now?"

gate_expert January 8 2011, 21:09:08 UTC

Sam needed a lot of things, a very long list that had at the top Jack telling her that this was all a big mistake and things were going to be fine. She needed to be able to tell him that this hadn't really happened. But she wasn't going to get that, or anything else.

"No," she said. Her voice was hoarse and felt like it belonged to someone else. "I don't need anything."

has_2ls January 8 2011, 21:14:47 UTC

Jack settled in a chair near her bed but he didn't reach for her. Normally, he'd be reaching for her hand or smoothing her hair back but now he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to say something harsh or lash out with Sam laying in bed like that but he was pretty certain she'd be pissed if she thought he was treating her like something fragile.

Sam Carter was many things, but fragile wasn't one of them.

"Settling in, then. Poke me if you want something."

Short, sharp, to the point.

gate_expert January 8 2011, 21:32:42 UTC

"Okay."

She lay there for a while, curled on her side and looking at the wall. There was pain, and it wasn't pleasant, but she'd felt much worse than this before. She was used to dealing with physical pain of all kinds. It was the emotional part of it that hurt the most. It hurt as much as watching Jack die in that Tok'ra pyramid, but it had the same kind of awful intimacy as Jolinar's death had, and it was all laced with a kind of guilt she'd never felt before.

She'd spent most of this pregnancy not even wanting to be pregnant. Now she was getting that. But this wasn't what she wanted. Not now.

And Jack had wanted this baby so badly. He was hurting, and it was obvious, with the way his expression had gone so blank and hard, and she didn't know what to say to him. She wanted to comfort him, and wanted him to comfort her, but it all felt so empty.

"Jack?"

Thread 17

blondieburke January 8 2011, 22:27:14 UTC

Juliet knew, from the minute she suggested they all go to the clinic, what happened. She needed the ultra sound just to be sure, and the entire way she stayed professional, carried the same soft tone. And after the ultra sound, when she told Jack and Sam as gently as she possibly could what happened, she was a soothing voice, the solid presence in the room.

That was way she felt so selfish for being somewhere else mentally nearly the entire time. She was back with all of the women she was supposed to help. All of the women she didn't. They'd been hopeful, looked to her to carry them through the entire pregnancy and it never happened. When the cramps started they always looked at her the same, with a fear in their eyes. And as the women died they looked at her and all that Juliet could see was accusation. She'd told them they'd be fine. She'd told them they'd be okay, that she'd take care of them ( ... )

gate_expert January 9 2011, 01:52:34 UTC

For a little while, Sam was in that strange place between asleep and awake, trying to keep it together. She didn't want to feel anything except the numbness that had set in when Juliet had told her what was happening, but the pain was insistent. The physical pain, she could deal with. The emotional pain was harder.

She was aware that Juliet had stepped out, and aware that she came back again later. There were things she wanted to ask her, things she wanted to know, but she couldn't do it yet. She wasn't sure she could say anything without bursting into tears.

blondieburke January 9 2011, 02:26:15 UTC

Juliet sits next to Sam, more as a friend for a moment than her doctor. Silently, she reaches over and rests her hand on her arm, silent strength. She wants to suggest some kind of therapy to get through the mental anguish, but hedges, not sure this is the right time to suggest it.

"You'll need to rest for a couple of days in bed, Sam," Juliet directs quietly, her gaze steady on the other woman.

gate_expert January 9 2011, 02:56:47 UTC

"I know." Sam was glad she'd sat there beside her, glad for her steadiness. Right now, Sam was anything but steady, and knew she'd only feel worse before she felt better.

"Do you think..." She choked on the words a little, and was quiet for a minute, forcing herself to pull together before she could finish her question. "Do you think I could have done anything?"

Thread 13