If you don't say anything and it turns out badly, you will always be sorry. If you say something and it pisses him off and he drops you as a friend, you will also be sorry but not as much and maybe he'll get over it.
I'd say watch him and if he seems to continue being "off" say something. Or say something to the sister. If you guys were girls, you'd know. We tell each other everything. LOL
LOL, if we were girls we'd have some serious issues. Even moreso than what I mentioned above.
Its a hard one, because if it weren't for their drinking, I wouldn't really notice the problem, so perhpas there isn't one. I keep wondering if I didn't already know this person had had depression in the past if I'd still be concerned. It's funny too, because I find that particular group of friends to be quite judgemental, and they jump on stuff they perceive to be character flaws in other people, yet have left this alone.
I think wait and see will do for now, maybe this was a wake-up call for them. Thanks for the advice :)
Ergh. Hard. There's a gal on my tennis team (younger than me, but I feel like a kid compared to her because she's got three kids and has been married over 10 years, etc, etc) who is a hard drinker and I think probably an alcoholic. She's got one of those bodies that, when she sweats, she reeks of alcohol from her pores.
Yet she's super sweet, and a good friend, and nobody on the team wants to stage an intervention because it seems 'not that bad'. And truthfully, it doesn't. She doesn't possess the warning signs of an alcoholic. So I have no idea what should be done.
So I get the difficulty.
But I do agree with SR--if you don't say anything, and something happens, it will be worse for you because in your heart you knew something was wrong. Keep a close eye on it and be sensitive to changes. There's nothing wrong with being a good friend who looks out for friends, even if they get annoyed by it.
Truthfully, I wouldn't classify him as an alcoholic either. I think the problem is I have too much information in terms of his depression, which I don't feel is my place to share with someone else.
Yet he is a heavy, regular, drinker. Right now, he's probably okay. It's just that nobody else seems worried by it - the comments are usually something like "oh, yeah, he just drinks a lot" - which surprises me, given the usually interfering nature of that group of friends.
Cheers for the advice. Hopefully i am being a worry-wort.
Comments 4
I'd say watch him and if he seems to continue being "off" say something. Or say something to the sister. If you guys were girls, you'd know. We tell each other everything. LOL
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Its a hard one, because if it weren't for their drinking, I wouldn't really notice the problem, so perhpas there isn't one. I keep wondering if I didn't already know this person had had depression in the past if I'd still be concerned. It's funny too, because I find that particular group of friends to be quite judgemental, and they jump on stuff they perceive to be character flaws in other people, yet have left this alone.
I think wait and see will do for now, maybe this was a wake-up call for them. Thanks for the advice :)
Reply
Yet she's super sweet, and a good friend, and nobody on the team wants to stage an intervention because it seems 'not that bad'. And truthfully, it doesn't. She doesn't possess the warning signs of an alcoholic. So I have no idea what should be done.
So I get the difficulty.
But I do agree with SR--if you don't say anything, and something happens, it will be worse for you because in your heart you knew something was wrong. Keep a close eye on it and be sensitive to changes. There's nothing wrong with being a good friend who looks out for friends, even if they get annoyed by it.
Reply
Yet he is a heavy, regular, drinker. Right now, he's probably okay. It's just that nobody else seems worried by it - the comments are usually something like "oh, yeah, he just drinks a lot" - which surprises me, given the usually interfering nature of that group of friends.
Cheers for the advice. Hopefully i am being a worry-wort.
Reply
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