Invisible.
I'm a grown up (most days) so I know that I really shouldn't let certain things get me down but . . . . . inside me there is still this dorky, awkward little girl who never quite fit in and longs to receive acknowledgment from others.
It's terribly frustrating when you reach out to people and they don't reach back.
You can be an adult and rationalize about it all you want but in the end that little girl inside still wonders: Did I say something wrong? Is it because I'm not more like _____ ? Am I not as cool as I'd like to think I am? Am I somehow not good enough? Am I somehow not worthy?
*sigh*
It's a sucky way to feel and after years of practice I've gotten to the point where I can (usually) let it just roll off. I don't dwell on these negative thoughts because - seriously - they're ridiculous. I can't let the actions (or "inactions" rather) of a few people leave me second guessing myself or doubting who I am.
So I'm gonna shake it off and go on.
I tried and I still hope that maybe one day I'll be surprised.
As for the little girl inside - well, she and I are going to share a BlueBell Bullet Popsicle and I know that will make us feel better because, well, don't frozen rainbow treats make everything better?