(no subject)
vermilion skies
junhyung/hyunseung; implied doojoon/yoseob, junhyung+yoseob. pg.
"i'm sure you'll find your happiness somewhere else."
VERMILION SKIES
cutting edge fingertips on your lips
i
"i'm sorry."
junhyung pecks away at the keyboard, unlit cigarette slipping into the downturned curve of his lips. he clicks delete several times over. "it doesn't matter."
"look. i can explain." doojoon steps closer, hands already reaching out for junhyung. "i didn't know you-"
"it.doesn't.matter." the words are spit out between clicks and doojoon stops seconds away. junhyung runs ink-stained fingers through choppy hair. "i don't care."
the room stills in a film of dust, the serrated edge of silence sharp enough to wound. doojoon drops his hands. "i'm sorry."
junhyung hates apologies.
ii
→ the weather's so nice! picnic picnic!
→ why don't we have dinner tonight?
→ we're going for karaoke! let's go!
→ psst! do you think dongwoon and gikwang are...keke...
→ how's your english lessons?
→ junhyungie~
→ [attachment: seobsorry2.gif]
→ i don't know what i did wrong. remind me?
junhyung stares at his phone as it beeps with a new message. one of the composers gestures for him from a table of half-finished melodies.
select all. delete.
iii
the street suffocates, thousands faces blending into one giant pantomime that diverges on cues, goes everywhere and nowhere all at once. the asphalt is slick with water and junhyung pulls his hood lower with raindrops rolling off his fingertips, eyelashes. he finds the cafe squeezed between nondescript buildings.
"this place is a dump," junhyung says in greeting. there's an umbrella leaning against hyunseung's chair and he stares at orange-and-white stripes as he drips onto dirty linoleum. "what's up?"
hyunseung's smile is quiet behind his cup of coffee. "i heard about it."
"really." junhyung doesn't ask what 'it' is, isn't surprised when hyunseung nods. maybe annoyed, but not surprised. "news travel fast."
"doojoon's worried about you," offers hyunseung. his fingers traipses over white porcelain and junhyung remembers how good of a dancer hyunseung is. "yoseob-" a heavy pause. "you haven't been picking up his calls."
"i have deadlines."
"you should talk to him."
"that's none of my business." junhyung keeps his eyes on hyunseung's fingers and says, "none of yours either."
"maybe it is." hyunseung shrugs. "maybe you just don't realise it yet."
hyungseung always talks in riddles and junhyung is too impatient for them so they stare at each other until hyunseung's coffee gets cold and the beginning of an ache settles comfortably at the back of junhyung's mind.
it's still raining when junhyung steps out of the cafe. he thinks it's perfect weather to match his imperfect heart. hyunseung walks off with eyes that know everything and lips that say nothing. except for a faint see you that sounds a lot like goodbye.
iv
gikwang picks up a piece of lyric and laughs.
"are you writing about robots sex in space?"
"no." junhyung snatches the lyric away and should be angry. he isn't because it's gikwang and nobody gets angry at gikwang. "why are you here?"
"we miss you," gikwang says with a wide smile. the room lights up in an instant; it's a miracle and junhyung notices too late that dongwoon has found the light switch. "how are you doing?"
"good. busy as hell." gikwang's smile doesn't falter when junhyung frowns. "aren't you filming?"
"we took the day off. let's have a barbecue party tonight."
"i can't. i need to finish-"
"let's have a barbecue party tonight," gikwang repeats. his eyes find junghyung's. "all of us, hyung. it'll be fun."
nobody says no to gikwang.
v
"yah! the meat isn't cooked yet!"
"get your hands off the-oh my god i'm going to kill you, yoseob!"
"come here or i'll run after you! what. okay, you asked for it!"
"fuck can't you just stop for a bit what the-oomphf!"
junhyung presses the bottle of beer to his thigh, condensation sweating off onto his faded jeans in damp streaks. he takes a sip and blinks when doojoon and yoseob tumble onto the grass in a tangle of limbs. laughter floats between the soft glow of sunsets and embers.
junhyung looks away.
"you look like someone dragged you here by the balls."
"gikwang."
hyunseung chuckles and his elbow brushes junhyung's when he leans against the railing. "he's our last resort, you know."
junhyung grunts and glances at hyungseung. his hair is dyed rust red, dark where the patio's light doesn't touch it and he's a lot skinnier than junhyung remembers him to be.
"are you eating right?"
"i am." their bottles clink, loud in the silence. junhyung catches the fleeting smile between wisps of hair. "i miss people force-feeding me though."
junhyung grins as he tilts the bottle to his lips. "no you don't."
hyunseung moves closer. his whisper of "i miss us" lingers like a heartache.
junhyung sees gikwang laughing along with yoseob, as dongwoon helps doojoon onto his feet. tints of yellow and orange colours the angles of their faces and hyunseung's hand rests on junhyung's. offering something junhyung isn't sure he understands or deserves.
"i liked him," junhyung finally says, soft and slow. the weight of a confession. "always have."
"he likes you too."
"what are you saying. yoseob likes everyone." their laughter comes stilted and junhyung watches doojoon pops something into yoseob's mouth. "but love-"
hyunseung rests his head on junhyung's shoulder. "happiness."
junhyung squints to look at hyunseung. "what?"
"happiness." laughter erupts once more from around the barbecue table. junhyung bites his lips. "i'm sure you'll find your happiness somewhere else."
"that sounds like a promise."
hyunseung smiles but doesn't say anything.
vi
→ are you okay now?
← i've always been okay.
→ i'm glad. i was worried!
← idiot. just be happy.
→ i am! you must be too!
junhyung stretches on the couch until his toes tickle the underside of hyunseung's knee.
← maybe.
END