(no subject)
So, so soon after I wrote my previous entry...
To be more exact, yesterday, I went to a funeral.
It was the place my grandmother's funeral was, and my mother's, and my grandfather's.
It was a funeral for the grandfather of a friend I have, who I never had met. But he asked me to come, and to be a pallbearer. I was, sort of shocked and honoured when he asked me, and I said I would get back to him that day, but I knew instantly I would do it for him.
He's been an unassuming friend, but a great one. I met him, most formally in grade 9 or 10. One of my best friends form the first days of school had left, and another, while he continued to be my best friend in high school, found different friend groups as time went on. I found this friend in the library one day. He was walking among the books, picking books out, and reading them. He was there most every day. I don't remember if I had talked to him in Geography class before, or if I really did just walk up and ask what he was reading one day; but sooner or later, almost every day after I ate, I would at least go and check in on him.
Thinking back on it now, it was a weird situation. But, thinking back on it now, we became closer friends than I think I realized. I remember showing him this... coded plan I had written out. Most of it had to do with my first crush. I had written "ESPIO" as a code for my desire to find more information about her. He asked if it had anything to do with espionage, and I remember being impressed as I had only learned of the origins of Espio's name recently.
We talked, I think we even played cards some lunches, something I still don't really like. And on graduation day, I remember meeting his mother and being happy to get a photo taken with him.
I always have described him as my "intellectual" friend. Before he got into Doctor Who a bit, our only real nerdy connection was Star Trek, but we didn't even really talk all that much about that. He was probably my least nerdy friend aside from Megan, and still probably is actually. It's kind of amazing actually, most of my friends have at least some interest like video games, comics, manga, etc. And our friendships, though so much more than that; were always built on a foundation of those interests.
With this friend, it started with seeing him alone in the library, and thinking he was an interesting a pleasant person to talk to.
After high school, we met several times near my aunt's house, and walked great distances, once, all the way to the museum. It was my first time seeing the re-design too. We went into a central american craft market and did many things. We repeated this, and did several similar things. Long story... slightly less long; he's been a good friend, and I was happy to help him out yesterday, though in a sad circumstance.
I have, for the last few months had this depressing series of thoughts. They're the kind of thoughts which I suppose come when you're single, and don't have an immediate family. They're irrational, but the boil down to... if there was a system in place, where everyone I know could save just three people, I know I probably wouldn't end up being alive during this hypothetical ragnarok. I realize such thoughts are irrational, but when I'm sad, I kind of come to that conclusion, and as irrational as the thought is, I can't help but think it's probably true.
I know it wasn't... saving my life against cruel aliens who would make such a situation happen. But... being apparently first choice to be pallbearer was a deep honour. Even if I won't be spared in my crazy made up situation, I am still trusted, and loved. So maybe if I wouldn't survive... but I guess I would be remembered.
I don't mean to sound quite so melancholic, but I was just at a funeral yesterday. Hopefully the story of friendship above sorta softens the blow.
To be more exact, yesterday, I went to a funeral.
It was the place my grandmother's funeral was, and my mother's, and my grandfather's.
It was a funeral for the grandfather of a friend I have, who I never had met. But he asked me to come, and to be a pallbearer. I was, sort of shocked and honoured when he asked me, and I said I would get back to him that day, but I knew instantly I would do it for him.
He's been an unassuming friend, but a great one. I met him, most formally in grade 9 or 10. One of my best friends form the first days of school had left, and another, while he continued to be my best friend in high school, found different friend groups as time went on. I found this friend in the library one day. He was walking among the books, picking books out, and reading them. He was there most every day. I don't remember if I had talked to him in Geography class before, or if I really did just walk up and ask what he was reading one day; but sooner or later, almost every day after I ate, I would at least go and check in on him.
Thinking back on it now, it was a weird situation. But, thinking back on it now, we became closer friends than I think I realized. I remember showing him this... coded plan I had written out. Most of it had to do with my first crush. I had written "ESPIO" as a code for my desire to find more information about her. He asked if it had anything to do with espionage, and I remember being impressed as I had only learned of the origins of Espio's name recently.
We talked, I think we even played cards some lunches, something I still don't really like. And on graduation day, I remember meeting his mother and being happy to get a photo taken with him.
I always have described him as my "intellectual" friend. Before he got into Doctor Who a bit, our only real nerdy connection was Star Trek, but we didn't even really talk all that much about that. He was probably my least nerdy friend aside from Megan, and still probably is actually. It's kind of amazing actually, most of my friends have at least some interest like video games, comics, manga, etc. And our friendships, though so much more than that; were always built on a foundation of those interests.
With this friend, it started with seeing him alone in the library, and thinking he was an interesting a pleasant person to talk to.
After high school, we met several times near my aunt's house, and walked great distances, once, all the way to the museum. It was my first time seeing the re-design too. We went into a central american craft market and did many things. We repeated this, and did several similar things. Long story... slightly less long; he's been a good friend, and I was happy to help him out yesterday, though in a sad circumstance.
I have, for the last few months had this depressing series of thoughts. They're the kind of thoughts which I suppose come when you're single, and don't have an immediate family. They're irrational, but the boil down to... if there was a system in place, where everyone I know could save just three people, I know I probably wouldn't end up being alive during this hypothetical ragnarok. I realize such thoughts are irrational, but when I'm sad, I kind of come to that conclusion, and as irrational as the thought is, I can't help but think it's probably true.
I know it wasn't... saving my life against cruel aliens who would make such a situation happen. But... being apparently first choice to be pallbearer was a deep honour. Even if I won't be spared in my crazy made up situation, I am still trusted, and loved. So maybe if I wouldn't survive... but I guess I would be remembered.
I don't mean to sound quite so melancholic, but I was just at a funeral yesterday. Hopefully the story of friendship above sorta softens the blow.